Two Months Later
“HOW CAN MAKEUP be this itchy? I don’t understand how you can wear this all the time without scratching off your face skin.” My fake giant hands won’t allow me to scratch, only paw at my face.
“Stop. You’ll smear it.” Ashley holds my arms by my sides. “First, this is costume makeup and not regular everyday stuff. It’s supposed to last for longer. Second, you’re adorable. Cranky works for your character. We definitely have the best costumes this year.”
“Easy for you to say. You’re wearing a wedding dress and a veil.”
“Have you not noticed my hair?” She draws a circle around the dome of kinky, white-striped hair.
“Mrs. Frankenstein, you’ve never looked prettier.” I dip down and give her a quick peck on the lips, wanting to do more. Instead, I straighten and run my hands over my blazer. It feels like a straight jacket. “I should’ve gone with the furry goat legs and bare chest.”
“Save it for later, Mr. Frankenstein.” She presses a long, black fingernail against my lips.
I bop her nose. “You look like you’ve been making out with the Hulk.”
“Carter! We don’t have time for me to keep touching up my makeup.” Frowning, she lifts her white lace skirt and dashes down the hall to the bathroom.
I follow behind and lean against the doorframe. Even dressed as the undead bride, she’s the most beautiful girl in the world. For now we’re living in my little rental while her condo is on the market. Once it sells, we’re going to build a place on some land Erik bought. It’s big enough to create a Kelso family compound, if we want one.
“Why are you smiling?” She dabs green off her mouth and nose.
“Because it looks like you’ve been doing more than make out with the big green beast.”
“Yours is the only big beast in my life, husband.” Her lips twitch as she fights a smile.
“Always and forever, wife o’ mine.” I step behind her and wrap my arms around her waist. Our eyes meet in the mirror and I see nothing but love in her eyes.
“Let’s ditch the party and have monster sex all night.” She turns in my arms and bats her eyelashes at me.
“Don’t be nervous. Everyone we know and mostly like will be there. When’s the last time we were all together?”
“Choochokum?” She wrinkles her nose. The thick white makeup hides her freckles and I miss them. Especially since I spent a lazy Sunday morning naked in bed counting the ones on her shoulders. When I reached a hundred, she distracted me with her wandering hands and I lost count. Guess I’ll have to start over another day.
“We’ll go, we’ll see people, maybe have fun, and then come home to watch scary movies and make out. Sound like a solid plan?”
“I guess. I do like it when you take control with your plans.” She kisses my cheek, smudging the makeup back into place with her thumb.
Most of the parking lot at the Rod and Gun is full when we arrive. I park half in the dirt and half in the grass at the end of a row.
We hold hands as we enter the building, passing the old stuffed polar bear near the bar. Inside, people in costumes crowd the dance floor and surrounding tables.
“They’re here!” Cari yells and the music cuts off mid “Monster Mash.” The crowd parts as the first notes of “Here Comes the Bride” blast through the DJ’s speakers.
“Oh, dear lord, no.” Ashley turns into a statue, her mouth frozen open.
Erik, aka Beetlejuice, starts the clapping, which quickly spreads through the room until every single person joins.
“Smile.” I demonstrate the action in case in her shock she’s forgotten how.
“Congratulations!” people shout at us. Then the handshakes and back slaps and hugs begin. An impromptu and chaotic mass of people gathers around us, each person trying to touch us to share their sincerity and best wishes. Jonah, wearing his typical black, hugs Ashley and then me.
Erik pops up by my side and scares me. “How do you like your surprise wedding reception?”
His grin tells me how pleased he is with his idea.
“That’s not even a thing.”
“It is now. Cari ordered a cake.” He points at Cari, who looks mostly like her normal self but I think is dressed like Winona Ryder’s character in Beetlejuice.
“Please don’t let it be your naked ass again.” I try to hold onto Ashley’s hand, but she’s pulled away by the crush of well wishers. Half the people are wearing masks and it’s impossible to tell who they are.
“No, it’s your standard sheet cake with the fancy buttercream frosting you like. Chocolate with a mocha filling in honor of coffee. Because without coffee, we wouldn’t be here.” Erik beams with cleverness. “Right, Sis?”
Ashley slowly blinks at him, still resembling a deer in the middle of the road. “Sis?”
“Too soon? You’re a Kelso now.” Erik slings his arm around her shoulder, creating a little triangle between us.
Maybe it’s the white makeup, but I swear pink tinges the whites of her eyes like she’s about to cry. I need a distraction. “I’ll be right back.”
She squeezes my hand tighter before finally releasing me. I slip through the crowd and jog across the empty dance floor to speak to the DJ.
Nodding, he gives me a thumb’s up.
A crowd still surrounds a shell-shocked Ashley. She smiles and nods, accepts hugs, and looks generally overwhelmed.
“Excuse me, can I have a moment with my bride?” I weave through the clump of well-wishing islanders. Once I reach her, I link our hands again.
“You okay?” I whisper with my lips near her temple.
“This is weird. Everyone’s being so nice.” Her smile is more genuine now.
“See? People like you.” I kiss her jaw near her ear.
“Die a Happy Man” by Thomas Rhett plays over the speakers.
“Dance with me?” I ask my wife. My beautiful, smart, perfect wife.
“You’re an evil man if you planned this,” she whispers through her teeth, but lets me bring her out to the dance floor.
I swing her into my arms and rest the hand not holding hers on her lower back. “I wish. This is all our friends doing.”
“Your friends.”
When I dip her, she looks like she’s grinning, but her eyes betray her nerves.
“Our friends.” I kiss her lips, hoping to ease her worries. Cheers and whoops echo around the room.
“You always say you’re not smart, but eloping was a brilliant idea.” She grips the lapel of my blazer and tugs my head closer to her level. “I love you.”
“And I love you. Always.”
The song ends and “Werewolves of London” starts. We look at each other and shake our heads. Holding hands as we leave the dance floor, we accept more congratulations while we snake through the tables to where Erik and Cari sit.
Before we reach them, a very pregnant Hailey with a tiny alien bursting out of her stomach walks up to us.
I stop mid-step. “Wow, that’s disturbingly realistic.”
Hailey smiles with pride. “Isn’t it horrible? Tom made it for me.”
“Where is he?” I glance behind her.
“Over with John at the bar. Look for the green alien.” She points behind me.
“I could use a drink.” Ashley takes a step in the direction of the bar.
“Ashley?” Hailey stops her with a hand on her arm. “I want to tell you I’m happy for you and Carter. This probably isn’t the time or place, but I think I’ve had the wrong idea about you. I owe you an apology for only seeing you through one lens and believing gossip instead of giving you a chance. I heard about your dad. I’m sorry. I know something about asshole men, so we have that in common.”
“I, I don’t know what to say.” Ashley’s voice is quiet and her fingers tighten around mine.
“I heard about Carter and Tom at The Dog House.” Hailey’s eyes cut to me for a second before she focuses on Ashley again. “I think it’s pretty cool how you stood up for yourself. Tom has one of the biggest hearts I’ve ever known, but he’s in no way perfect.”
“What do you mean I’m not perfect?” Tom hands Hailey a drink that looks like a Shirley Temple. “Hey, congrats you two!”
He slaps my back with his long, weird alien fingers.
“Thanks,” we say in unison, both with an edge of awkwardness. My dad’s words about the past and moving on come to mind. We can’t pretend our shared history didn’t happen, but we can move on and make the best of it.
Jonah hands us each a glass of beer. “You’ll be amused to hear Falcon face-planted right into the polar bear. Got kicked out for riding a unicycle inside. Apparently, there’s an old club rule forbidding it.”
“Dammit! I can’t believe I missed it. Did someone get video?”
Jonah hands me his phone. “Enjoy.”
I’m on my fourth viewing of the glorious moment when Ashley makes me give Jonah’s phone back to him.
“Sure you want to go into business with Falcon?” she asks her brother.
“We’ll see.” He doesn’t look confident in his decision.
John, dressed as always as a lumberjack, and Diane, with an eight-ball decorated pregnant belly, join our group.
“Where’s the third of your breeder trio?” Ashley asks.
“Over here.” Roslyn waves from a chair at the other end of the table. Dan’s rubbing her calves where they’re propped up on his thigh.
“What’s your costume?” I ask Roslyn.
“I’m Prego.” She stretches her red tunic so I can read the letters.
Dan scowls. “And I’m the cranky Italian chef who’s judging her for going as jarred sauce.”
“Did you plan this?” Ashley asks the girls. “I mean, I know these guys are all ridiculously hot, but come on.”
The women laugh at her disbelief.
“Sex happens.” Tom smiles at Hailey.
“I think we’re all due around December,” Diane says, and the other women nod.
“November thirtieth for us.” Dan smiles with happy pride.
“Erik? Cari? Anything you need to share with the group?” I ask my brother while staring at Cari’s stomach.
“Oh, we’re not pregnant!” She pats her dress.
“But we do have news. We’re going to visit one of our coffee farmers in Costa Rica,” Erik says. “Get out of the rain, enjoy some sunshine. And anonymity again.”
Conversation turns to travel and babies. Our friends laugh and talk over each other, teasing and complimenting one another in equal amounts. These people are more than friends. They’re our family. No matter what happens with our parents in the future, we’ll always have this group by our sides.
“I believe I was promised cake.” Ashley points at the huge cake taking up a small table next to us.
“Let’s cut the cake then.” I lead her over to the table.
Someday Ashley and I will add to the baby madness sweeping my wingmen. Maybe sooner than later.
“All this talk of babies. Sheesh. I think it’s contagious.” Ashley grins up at me.
“Is that a bad thing?” I release her hand and pull her in front of me. Wrapping my arms around her, I create a bubble for the two of us.
“Never said it was.” Her eyes sparkle with happiness.
Her words and thoughts of all the ways we can make a baby put a grin on my face.
I begin to make a plan in my head.