Chapter Twenty-Five

Ronan

Savie looks as if she’s seen a ghost.

The heat of the passion that runs between us warms my cheeks, and I’d love nothing more than to strip myself bare to relish the feel of cool air against my skin. This woman’s taken me so many places in a short time, I’ve gotten a slight case of whiplash. Mostly, she’s made me question myself and what I know. What I value.

Here I stand in a hotel, on the outskirts of a city filled with steel, concrete, and too many people for my comfort. Everything I hate. It’s noisy…not like the song of a bird or the neigh of a horse or the bleat of sheep, but screeching tires and rude townies. The sound blisters my ears until I want to put my hands over them to drown out the sounds.

Even though I want this woman more than I’ve ever wanted anything in my life prior to this day, I’m not sure I can afford the price I would have to pay to have her. I can’t imagine myself shopping in stores and eating out at restaurants. Being seen. Savie’s used to being on public display, but that’s everything I’ve tried to avoid my entire life. After some serious self-reflection, I’m not sure if it’s because that’s what I really want or because I’m avoiding stepping in to a bigger, better version of myself.

“Yer not with child,” I say, rubbing her stomach.

She inhales a ragged breath, and I can smell the arousal on her. My cock throbs and pulses, yearning and reaching for Savie. But I can’t do that until things are settled between us, because if I do, I’ll be wrecked beyond repair. I know the second I surrender to my feelings for her, I’ll never have the answers I need.

She gasps and brings her hands to her belly. “Why would you ask me that?”

“’Cause the night afore the festival performance, Declan brought a publication to my cottage and yer picture was on the cover, so ‘twas. The headline indicated that yer were ‘avin’ another man’s child. I was angry that yer deceived me.”

Her mouth falls open, then works up and down for a few soundless moments. “Ronan, that was a tabloid. The stories inside aren’t true. They’re sensationalized to sell magazines. If you thought I would deceive you in that way, why didn’t you ask me about it?” As I watch, her face grows hard as she pushes her hair from her forehead. “So that’s why you made my last days there so horrible? Because of a stupid magazine?

“I—”

She pokes me in the chest. “Do you know what you put me through?” She pokes me again. Harder. “Hell, it would have been better if you had yelled at me. Anything. Getting mad, closing me out and walking away wasn’t right for either of us.”

“So, yer are not with child?” I demand, grabbing her wrist and holding it tightly.

This is the last point at which I want her to escape me. This conversation is too important. Something’s been banging around in my head ever since she left. Savie doesn’t need a man. She’s strong and independent. Money means nothing to her because she prints her own. The fact that I’m not in a position to protect her or provide for her isn’t lost on me.

But maybe, just maybe…she wants me.

“I am.”

My grip tightens. She is pregnant? I feel like I’ve been punched in the gut. What game is this that she plays? “I don’t understand.”

She brings my hand down to her stomach. “I’m not pregnant with another man’s baby, Ronan, because I’m pregnant with your baby.”

A wave of confusion rolls over me and my ears buzz as my vision blurs. I need to sit down but no chair is handy. Instead, I just stare at her until I find my voice. “’Tis impossible?”

Savie doesn’t say anything, just lifts her eyebrows.

“And yer left me? Yer just left me behind without knowin’ I was becomin’ a da?”

She snaps her hand away from me, and I reach out to grab it again. She’s not running away from this conversation. She’s not running away from me.

“I didn’t know back then. I would have told you, Ronan.”

Her words ring flat and lifeless. Like lies.

“When? When would yer ‘av told me? When yer were safely back in the US, and I couldn’t do anythin’ about it? That’s cowardly.”

Savie hisses in a breath, every muscle in her body tense and rigid. “Are you calling me a coward?”

I loom over her, using the full force of my height to push her backwards until she’s doing a backbend over the bed. Anger pulses through my body, radiating out my limbs until I’m shaking. She’s not going to do this to me. She will not keep my child from me.

Most of all, she will not keep herself from me. Not one fecking second longer.

“I don’t know what I’m sayin’,” I tell her honestly. “I don’t understand my emotions. I feel happiness and sadness at the same time.” I grip her even tighter. “I fear I could lose myself within yer, Savie. Who I am, ‘tis important to me.”

“I’d never let that happen,” she says in a rush, rubbing the inside of my wrist with her thumb. It’s just like we’ve never been apart and everywhere Savie touches, I burn. “Who you are. That’s what I love most about you.”

“Love?” I say, worried about the strength of that one word.

I know how much I missed Savie while we were apart. I know how much I want to protect her and make her happy. Then it hits me. The way I feel about the baby already growing in her womb is the way I feel about her. It’s love. It has to be. The prophecy has come to pass.

It’s real.

“I love yer, so I do.”

The moment the words leave my lips, I know they’re true. They feel so right. I’m silent another moment as I look at our hands intertwined, becoming one. Her touch is pure support and it gives me a measure of calm, knowing I could never lose my identity.

Without ever breaking eye contact, I press Savie into the mattress until my body covers hers. Wrapping my arms around her waist, I tighten my hold, making sure she’s settled gently into the middle of the bed. She’s not only my lover, she’s the mother of my child. I don’t take that information lightly, and her health is going to be my top priority from now until we take our last breath.

I crawl onto the bed after her, straight up the middle of her body. Savie lays flat, parting her legs to allow me more room. I groan and settle in between them. Her smell overwhelms me, and I have to taste her. I haven’t yet, and it’s kept me awake nights because I’ve never done it before. In the past, women have clawed their way to me to take care of every single one of my needs and I’ve never been very concerned about theirs.

Until now.

Slipping a hand down in between our bodies, I cup her hot sex. “I want yer, Savie. I want to know how yer taste.”

“Oh,” she moans, grinding against me. “Yes.”

My fingers slide under the waistband of her lacy panties, flirting with her wet heat before I run a finger up her center. The wetness flows over me, and I go straight for her throbbing clit. I delight in her moans and twisting body, as if she can’t get close enough to me. And I want nothing less than her complete surrender to my hands and mouth, because freedom lives inside the release of control. Someday, Savie might learn that lesson.

Fisting her hands in the down comforter, Savie finally stills. I lick her once and she jolts at that first contact. The more she moans and writhes, the more I love tasting her. I’m in complete control of her body.

“Ronan, I…” She drops off as she swivels her hips.

I lift my arms up from my place between her legs and open her further for my probing tongue. After finding the hard nub of her pleasure, I take it between my lips and suck. In response to the chorus of moans coming from Savie, I increase or decrease my pace, letting her lead me.

Rotating one hand, I push a finger inside her slick channel, and she lifts her hips in response. I press her back down and concentrate on circling her clit with my tongue, holding her as still as I can for the onslaught.

I can feel the force of her release when her thighs clamp down hard around my head, and she pushes her backside into the bed. I hold my tongue still, letting the pulses of her orgasm sweep her away. After she stills, I plant one final kiss on the inside of her thigh and snake up her body so I can hold her tight.

I’m never, ever letting her go.