Chapter Twenty-Seven

Karrie

It’s been two days since I last threw up. To some that might not mean anything, but to someone who spent the last seven weeks throwing up every single time I finished eating this is huge. Monumental.

I’m sitting in the hotel room, waiting for Matthew to come back from the morning skate while I check my emails. My inbox is full of emails that Matthew forwarded me. They come from every single parenting website on the web. They send him daily tidbits, and let's not talk about the twenty-five parenting books that got delivered to the house the night after we got home. He is actually reading them and highlighting certain things. He’s also become the biggest pain in my ass I have ever encountered.

I love him as many times during the day as I want to kill him. He acts like I’m the first woman to ever have a baby. When we got back on the road, there was no one asking if we were together since he held my hand to the plane, walked in holding it, and then kissed me. The guys did what guys did, high-fived each other and then someone won twelve thousand dollars on a bet. Gone were the two rooms. In their place was one room.

I look down at my belly that’s starting to get a little bit of a pouch. The biggest change in my body is my breasts. They are swollen and my nipples hurt so much. That’s another thing I had to do—talk him into sex. I still can’t believe he wasn’t going to have sex with me for the rest of my pregnancy.

Getting into bed, I slid in naked. We just dropped Parker and Cooper off at the airport with promises to visit soon. I waited for Matthew to come into the room, pulling the sheet up over my breasts, hissing out when the sheet touched my nipples. I saw him walk out of the bathroom and go around the bed getting into bed with his boxers.

“What are you doing?” I asked him. “What happened to naked, babe?” I mimicked him from before.

“Babe, we aren’t having sex,” he said, getting in and tucking himself in, putting his hands over the covers.

“Hold on a second. Why are we not having sex?”

“Because you're pregnant,” he said as if I didn’t know. “I don’t want to hurt the baby.”

I laughed at him. “Honey, I know you think your dick is huge, and it is, but unless you grew a foot I think the baby is safe.” I leaned in, the sheet falling off my breasts. “Besides, I need you,” I whispered, hoping I wouldn't throw up on him.

“Karrie, what if I hurt you? Or what if, I don’t know, I shake the baby?” He turned to me.

“Matthew, do you think everyone who is pregnant stops having sex? I know a friend of mine who turned into a sex machine when she was pregnant. It’s the extra hormones.” I couldn’t believe I was trying to fucking convince him to have sex with me.

“Karrie, let’s just go to bed.” He turned over, shutting off the light.

“Fine,” I said, huffing and puffing, getting out of bed. “I’ll go find that treasure chest you bought and find something in there that will help me ‘take the edge off’.” I walked to my closet.

“Babe,” he said, and I turned around.

“NO!” I yelled at him, almost about to cry. “You don’t want to have sex with me, fine, I’ll take my box and go sleep upstairs.” I turned to walk in the closet where I tossed my clothes around, looking for where he had hidden the box. Turning, I saw that he was standing in front of me naked, leaning on the doorjamb, his arms and legs crossed.

“Are you done?” he asked me.

“No, no, I’m not. It’s not enough I’m going to get fat, and my boobs”—I pointed to them—“are going to be so big that I may suffocate myself if I lie on my back. But now you don’t want to have sex with me.” A tear slipped out.

“Baby,” he said softly, coming to me. “I don’t care how big you get or how big your boobs get.” He pressed them together lightly. “I’m especially excited to have these babies so big that, hmmm.” He leaned in, taking a nipple gently, but the feeling went straight to my core. He repeated with the other breast. He scooped me into his arms. My arms wrapped around his neck while my lips kissed his neck.

It was the sweetest sex we ever had. He was soft, gentle, and he drove me absolutely crazy.

I smile at the memory of that and every single time since then, but I’m fucking over it. I need it hard, I need it dirty, I need it like he wants to give it to me and not treat me like I’m glass and going to break. The door clicks and Matthew walks in with two strawberry milkshakes in his hand. Something that I can’t seem to get enough of. I could live on just this. Oh, and French fries. The other day I dipped them in my shake.

“Morning, beautiful.” He hands me the shakes. I take them both, sipping from one and then the other. “Why don’t you drink one at a time?” he asks, lying down next to me, his hand going to my stomach.

“So they melt at the same time,” I tell him, obviously. “What time is the game tonight?” I continue on the one sip out of each.

“Game starts at seven,” he says while kissing my stomach. “What time is the appointment tomorrow?”

It's my first big appointment with my ob-gyn. I’m excited and nervous. So far I haven’t had any symptoms except for throwing up, but I haven’t fainted.

“Two p.m. I had to draw the line at everyone showing up, you know that, right?” I look at him. My father, Parker, Vivienne all thought they had to be there, till I drew the line.

“Since we are home all weekend, Allison wants to know if it’s okay if she comes down.” He looks up at me.

“Of course, she’s your sister, you never ever have to ask me if it’s okay that people come over.”

“That’s what I told her, but you know Allison, she made sure I asked you.”

I put the milkshakes on the side table and slide down so I’m face to face with him. I run my hands through his damp hair. I kiss his nose, his lips, his cheek, and then his neck. His hands pull me closer to him.

“I need a nap, babe,” he says, and I put my head under his chin and fall asleep to the smell of him and the beat of his heart.

***

My watch says it’s almost eleven-thirty. Matthew has been off the ice for over an hour. It was a crazy game with us losing with four seconds to go. When you travel with a team, you know that the plane ride will be a quiet one, whereas if they win it’s a sigh of relief. A couple of players walk out all giving me a nod. I nod and then look down at my phone. Max comes out next all alone, shrugging his arms into his jacket.

“Hey there, beautiful.” He smiles at me, making my stomach queasy. “Looks like you're still slumming. If you ever decide to upgrade, give me a call,” he says, tipping his head down and walking away.

“Upgrade,” I say out loud while he stops walking. “You don’t upgrade from a Rolls Royce to a Ford.” I smile at him. “Besides, word from the puck bunnies is that it’s always cold around you.” I smirk at him while he walks back to me.

His stance hard, his eyes vicious, his teeth together. “You think he gives a shit about you?” he throws back, laughing. “You're just another bitch on the road.” He leans in. “Maybe high and mighty, but at the end of the day, you're just a pussy.”

I don’t even bother answering because he is yanked away from me, Matthew turning him and pinning him to the wall with his arm at his throat. “You so much as breathe in her direction one more time and I’ll fucking bury you. I don’t give a fuck what the consequences will be.” It takes Phil and Luka to get him off of Max, who coughs, getting some air into his lungs.

“You're a fucking maniac, Grant. I’ll be bringing this up with all the necessary people,” he says, tying his jacket.

“You do that, fucktard,” Matthew says, shrugging the guys off of him and walking to me. “Are you okay?” he asks me, his one hand palming my face.

“I’m fine, are you?” I ask him, looking around to see that the equipment managers saw the whole thing along with some of the press. “You know this is going to make it to SportsCenter.”

“Don’t give a shit,” he says, grabbing my hand and walking out of the arena following Luka and Phil. We make our way on the bus where Max is running his mouth.

“He’s fucking lucky I didn’t wipe the floor with him.”

Luka starts laughing. “I thought he was going to piss himself he was so scared of Matthew.”

He gets into a seat followed by Phil, who says, “Piss, I thought for sure he would shit himself.” He looks at Max. “Don’t bullshit anyone. The only reason you got to walk out of there tonight is because he held back.”

I don’t say anything. I just hold onto Matthew’s hand, pulling him down into the seat next to me. “Just ignore him.”

“He’s a fucking piece of shit. Who the hell goes after a woman? I tell you who. A penciled dick asshole, that’s who.”

I turn in my seat. “You feel better?” I ask, shaking my head.

“Why, you got something to make me feel better when we get home?” he asks. His eyebrows wiggle.

I lean in. “Tomorrow I’m going to ask the doctor something really important and if her answer is what I’m expecting I’m going to get something really hard!” I turn and stare out the window. “Keep that in mind, Grant.”

The coaches come in and look at Max and then at Matthew. “Fucking SportsCenter is running a fucking brawl,” he says. I don’t say anything and neither does Matthew. “Next practice I want you in my office before the skate,” he says, sitting down.

I open my phone, searching SportsCenter and there front and center is Matthew pinning Max to a wall. The headline makes me shake my head.

“Frustration off the ice.”

I turn my phone so Matthew can see it, but he just turns it off. The rest of the trip is done in silence, no one daring to say anything. By the time I get home, I’m dead on my feet. We wake the next day, rushing to the doctor’s, both of us nervous and a little scared.

Matthew sits in the waiting room, shaking his legs while I fill out a paper about my health. Once I give it back to the nurse she calls me in. She tells me to undress and that the doctor will be right in.

Matthew walks to the wall that shows you the different stages of the baby in the stomach. “Oh my, this baby is huge. You think our baby will be this big?” he asks me.

I shake my head while taking off my clothes and sitting on top of the table. “I hope it isn’t too big.”

“I think I was nine pounds when I was born.” Matthew starts talking while he flips through the magazine. “I think the twins were huge for twins.” He laughs while my mouth starts to get dry. “I think one was six pounds and the other was eight. They were abnormally large.” He drops the magazine, getting another one. “I really want the baby to have your eyes.” He looks over, smiling at me. “We should be doing a birthing plan. I read in the book the other day that it should be done and given to the hospital. Did you want to do this natural?”

I’m almost about to tell him how fucking dumb are you, do you think I want a human coming out of me with no drugs? What part is appealing to any of that? But the doctor comes in.

“Good afternoon,” she says. “Karrie, how are you feeling?”

“I’m feeling much better. The nausea and vomiting are fading out. Thankfully. I’m also feeling a lot less tired.” I try not to tell her and Matthew about how hard the last six weeks have been. The traveling has kicked my ass.

“So I see here you have lost ten pounds since you were last in. The vomiting may have to do with that. It’s important to start eating smaller meals during the day. It’s suggested that it is normal to gain between twenty-five to thirty-five pounds during the whole pregnancy.”

“Will the baby be okay if she doesn't gain that weight?” Matthew asks while his hands go to his hips.

“It’s perfectly fine, depending on the child. It’s also normal for the mother to lose up to ten pounds in the first trimester due to vomiting.” She smiles at him.

“Have there been any more fainting spells since the hospital?” she asks, looking at my chart.

“Nope, nothing. It’s been all good.” I put my hands on my naked knees.

“Okay, so if you lie back, I will do an internal exam first and then we can get an ultrasound down.”

I lie back on the table.

“Matthew, get over here.” I motion him with my hand, waiting for him to walk to my head before putting my feet up in the stirrups that the doctor put up. “Don’t you dare look at what she is doing!” I tell him while the doctor continues to do her test.

“This might be cold,” she says while putting in the tools in order to do a pap smear. I close my eyes while this happens. Matthew starts to ask the doctor what exactly she’s doing. “It’s all normal at this stage that we get a pap smear.” She smiles at him, taking out the tool that looks like a duck and slipping off her gloves. “Now comes the part that everyone is waiting for. You ready to see your baby?” She smiles at both of us while Matthew takes my hand, kissing it.

This time she lifts my gown, covering me with a towel just stopping above my pelvic area. She picks up the white bottle from the side. “This might be cold for a bit,” she says, squeezing it on my stomach. The liquid coming out almost looks like hair gel.

“That’s cold,” I tell her while she turns on the machine, picking up something else that she holds down on the gel, spreading it around. The heartbeat fills the room. The galloping starts. I look at the screen, not sure what I’m going to see, but what I do has tears coming down my face. We have a baby, a baby who’s moving, almost doing cartwheels. The hands and feet are moving slowly. I love Matthew, I love my father, my family, my friends, but this love is so hard to explain. It’s an all-consuming love, a love that fills your heart to the brim, makes you want to go out there and sing in the rain, skip down the hallway for no reason. It’s a love that you know will never ever fade. Matthew has his own tears while he watches her move around on my stomach, starting to press more buttons.

“Do you feel the baby moving?” Matthew asks while the baby looks like he’s kicking me. I nod my head no.

I bring his hand to my lips, kissing him.

“So everything looks great. Your due date is July fourth. I’m going to want to see you in a month from now, unless there’s something that comes up before.” She presses a couple of buttons. Three pictures come out. She grabs the edge of my towel, wiping the gel off the machine pieces. She wipes my stomach with the same towel. “Get dressed and you can meet me in my office.”

I nod to her while she walks out.

Matthew is staring at the picture. “Holy shit, it’s real.” He rubs his fingers on the picture. “It’s the most beautiful baby in the world,” he tells the picture and looks at me. “I love you.” He kisses my lips.

“I love you, too.” I kiss his lips again, getting up to get dressed so we can go into the doctor’s office. I walk in first with Matthew following me.

“Here is a prescription for pills to help with the nausea when it comes. Do you have any questions?” She leans back in her chair.

“Yes,” I say, looking at Matthew. “Can we have hard sex?” I blurt out, Matthew’s head whipping around to me with his mouth open.

“What do you mean?” the doctor asks.

“Well, he’s very gentle when we have sex. Too gentle, so if he were to do it harder, would that hurt the baby?”

The doctor tries not to laugh at Matthew, who is sitting there with his mouth opening and closing but no sound coming out. “It should be fine. The baby is very well protected.”

“Yes, but,” Matthew stutters out, “my dick is huge.” Now it’s my turn to look at him with an open mouth. “I just don’t want to, you know, poke him.”

I put my hand over my mouth, stopping the laugh that’s coming out.

“I can say that in all my twenty years of being a doctor I’ve never had a penis poke the baby.” She tries not to laugh, but she can’t stop herself. “No matter how huge it is.” She does the motion with her hands. “Any more questions?”

We both shake our heads, getting up and walking out of the room and the office. While waiting for the elevator, Matthew asks me, “What do you want to do?”

“I want to go home and have hot sweaty hard sex.” I emphasize hard.

“You want it hard, baby?” he says, coming to me, my mouth going dry by the look in his eyes. “I’m going to fuck you so hard they will hear you on the fucking moon!” And with that, I almost come in my panties.