Quinn
When Hallie and Leah left that night, it was almost midnight. We had managed to finish deep-cleaning the entire house, so it smelled like lemons with only a hint of death rather than death with a hint of mildew.
We’d gone back to Leah’s house for lunch. It was only a six-minute walk through the forest, and it had been nice to breathe a little fresh air. While we were there, we made a list of all of the things that needed to be done. Then we’d made a list of all the things that could be done to make the place feel more like home.
I’d mentioned scheduling some companies to come out and get everything done in the next week or two, but Leah had shot down that idea immediately. She was determined to help me with all of the easy stuff, and said that the boys would do everything else.
The millionaire in me grimaced at the idea of doing all the work with my own hands, but part of me felt hopeful that maybe it could be a fresh start. A new house, a new family, a new life.
I wanted that so badly it hurt.
After a long day of cleaning and repairs, the last thing me or Cody wanted was to go out to his apartment and haul his mattress back to my house, so after we said goodbye to Leah and Hallie, we climbed into his truck.
He’d asked me as we got in the car if I wanted to go to the pack meeting they were having that night, but I’d been quick to turn that one down. I wasn’t ready to meet his wolf pack when I was still trying to decide whether or not I was going to get rid of him.
We’d spent the entire day in the same house but not together. We hadn’t spoken, and had only exchanged glances a few times.
We drove the first few minutes in silence. I contemplated spilling my guts to him, telling him how much I loved his family and ached to be a part of it. I wanted to tell him that I didn’t want him to sign away our relationship, but that I didn’t have a choice. I wanted him to know that his touch sent fire racing through my veins and that when he touched me I felt whole.
But that wasn’t an option, not when it meant it would only be that much harder to break his heart.
While I knew it would be better if I didn’t say anything at all, I felt like I needed to connect with him in that simple, basic way. We hadn’t spoken since that morning, and I missed him.
“I’m going to the hardware store with your mom in the morning.” I offered. It was the safest thing to say, since I felt like I had to say something.
“Yeah?” Cody met my eyes in the rearview mirror. That simple connection was enough to warm me to my core, and not in a sexual way. With one simple look, Cody made me feel smart and important.
“Yep.” I bit my lip and looked away, hating myself for reacting to him the way I did. I was supposed to hate him—he was supposed to hate me.
I tried not to say anything else, but I wasn’t strong enough to fight the desire just to talk to him.
“We’re going to order the new cabinets, appliances, and countertops, and then we’re going to pick out some paint and tile. After that, we’re going to do some online shopping for furniture and decorations.” I added. When he didn’t reply right away, I continued. “I already know what I like, but would you want to look at some pictures with me and show me what you like?”
I knew I shouldn’t have asked him, I knew I shouldn’t have even let myself start a conversation with him, but I couldn’t help it. Cody was my soulmate, and I wanted to feel that link between us from my head to my heart.
He met my gaze in the mirror again, just for a second. That second was long enough for me to see the intense emotions storming in his eyes.
“Sure.” His focus returned to the road fast enough for me to doubt whether I’d seen his eyes at all.