Chapter Six

Nyla

At the end of what felt like one of the longest days of my life, I slid into a tub filled with lavender water, trying to soothe my frazzled nerves. I’d been alternating between intense emotions since I woke up, fighting to find a balance as I’d gone about the mundane chores the clan had assigned me while avoiding their watchful eyes. Sadly, that balance hadn’t happened.

I’d started the day off in bliss, the night with Kian consuming my sleepy mind. But that quickly changed to fear as my memories spun out of control, growing darker due to the deterioration of my mind. The power surge brought on by my mating call was draining me, making me see things I shouldn’t, and bringing a false reality into my thoughts more and more often. Still easy enough to see through and combat, the visions caused an emotional shock that was hard to smooth out. And with the frequency of those dark moments ramping up, I knew they would only get worse.

But even that knowledge couldn’t fully dampen my excitement over the previous night. The smile on Kian’s face when he’d mouthed my name had played over and over, never giving me more than a few minutes break in between showings, fighting back when I saw a different outcome. When my mind showed him scowling, yelling, and turning away from me. That smile powered through the delusions, lighting up my mind and my heart with the truth. It was such a bright, happy smile. So filled with relief. I needed to see it again. Tonight. Now.

Of course, I’d wanted that all day. But before I reached out across the distance again, I needed something else. Because the lines of his body had also been on my mind. The scruff of his jaw, the breadth of his shoulders, the curl of his hair—flashes of memories had taken me by surprise during the most tedious of tasks. Teasing me and making me crave him even as I tried to blend into the background, tried to keep the Council from figuring out I’d begun my mating call. After a day filled with thoughts of his body and mine together, unable to take care of the craving within me, I was left completely on edge. Wet and swollen for him. Hungry.

Leaning my head back on a towel, I let my hand wander down my body, under the warm water and the bubbles, thinking about Kian. Fantasizing about him. God, he was so big all over. His hands would be so much larger than mine, rougher. While my fingers felt good against my skin, his would feel amazing. Stronger, more forceful. I tweaked my nipple, dreaming of his teeth there, of how he’d suck and bite, how he’d tease me until I begged with my body for more of his.

Needing no real prep time, I dropped my other hand between my legs, spreading my knees wide, one foot on the rim of the tub. Opening myself as my fingers moved lower. Flicking my clit. Wishing for him, for us, for more. A tingle of magic danced down my spine, making me press harder, move faster, concentrate on the thoughts of him even more. I’d never been able to use the Tallan while awake, not once in all my years. But at that moment, as I stroked and pinched, as I plunged two fingers inside and tweaked a nipple again, I felt my power surge through me. Felt it and him in a way I never had before. Saw through his eyes.

Big hands, rough like I’d imagined, circled a wide dick. Gave a twist on every stroke as his hips thrust into his own fist. Gorgeous and sexy, the image burned straight through me. I mimicked his hand, twisting my fingers inside myself, matching him stroke for stroke. Feeling his pleasure like a blanket on top of mine. The scene grew stronger, the vision clearer. His hand moved faster, mine following his rhythm. I had no idea if he could sense what I did, if he was feeling my hand play with my pussy as my other one fondled my breast, but I hoped so. I hoped he felt it and loved it as much as I loved feeling and watching him. So I kept my eyes glued to the length of my body, to the way my breasts jiggled with every breath, the way my hand disappeared between my thighs. Concentrating on my pleasure, basking in his.

Together but not, we pulled and stroked and teased. Keeping pace, breathing in time. My legs fluttering as his clenched and flexed. My pleasure escalating because of his own. Until finally, finally, we both reached that same point of no return and came. Him coming all over his hand, me squeezing my knees together and pressing down on my clit through the orgasm. Making it last. Still wishing it was his hand on me and mine on him.

Swallowing hard, legs shaking with my release, I pushed my connection to Kian harder. Just a bit. A little mental bump. I had no idea if he felt it, but it comforted me knowing I tried. As I sighed and sank down deeper in the water, something pushed back, a tiny whisper between us just before the haze returned.

A confirmation that he’d been inside the connection, too.

The trip to reach the dark little cabin took less energy, the distance the same but the work to get there becoming easier. I was getting better at this; my Tallan growing stronger. Which was quite the double-edged sword. My mind had been playing tricks on me again, giving me glimpses of my mate turning away from me. Dropping the board he’d written on. Being disappointed in what I was lacking. The bath had helped, but the stress of my situation had come back quickly and with a vengeance. The only thing that would truly soothe my weary soul was Kian. Much more of him.

I found myself standing on the colorful rug again, the cabin room dark like it had been the first time I’d visited. No extra lights brightened the space, no board, no book, and no markers lay out. For that first second, I worried, but Kian appeared almost instantly, as if he’d been waiting. As if he’d missed me. And damn, I’d missed him.

Before I could take a single step, he pinned me with a stare, with a look on his face I hadn’t seen before. I froze, watching him, my heart racing in something other than fear. He moved toward me like a hunter, each step slow and precise, with a fire in his eyes that made my knees turn to jelly. The energy between us felt different somehow, the tension in the room not from frustration or fear. Something else…something warmer. Something heated and desirous. Something needful.

He stopped directly in front of me, the scent of him filling me, making me shiver. I wanted to touch him so badly. Wanted to feel him under my fingers, wanted to know what his body felt like against mine. I wanted, and he looked as if he wanted, too.

“I felt you,” he signed, those dark eyes of his locked on mine.

I gasped, shaking, every inch of me honed in on him. “I wanted you to.”

Slowly, eyes never looking away, he raised his hand, bringing it to my face, running the side of one finger down my cheek. And I swear, I swear, there was a whisper. A slight disturbance that I could actually feel. Barely a hint, but enough to make me crave more. To make me yearn.

I leaned toward him, wishing hard to truly feel him. Desperation zinging through my body like an electric pulse. Something sexy and hot shining through his eyes, he inched closer. Closing the gap as his gaze held me captive. As he coveted.

And then he mouthed a single phrase. Two words that made my heart practically leap out of my chest. That made me wet and wanting.

Need you.

I nodded, shaky, so fucking hopeful I couldn’t breathe. He felt it, too—the connection between us. Felt the draw of the mating bond, even if he didn’t realize what it was. He stood in front of me, looking as if he wanted to wrap me in his arms. As if he wanted to pull me, keep me, claim me. As if he wanted to devour me.

And damn, did I want to be devoured by him.

I brought my hands up, trying to force my muscles to make the motions I’d used for the majority of my life, but Kian shook his head. I waited, impatiently patient. Completely at the edge of my desire. My entire body like a lightning rod ready for a strike. So close, but not close enough. Never close enough.

He moved again. One step. Staring down at me. God, he was so tall. So broad. So much man. I ached to feel him, to touch him. To have his weight on top of me. To know what it was like to have him inside me.

Another step. If I could make my body solid, we’d be touching. Breathing the same breath, at least. He lifted his arms, bringing them up on either side of me as if to wrap around my back. To hold me. And I wanted it. I wanted to feel his arms around me so badly, I almost started to cry. My hands up, close to his shoulders as if dancing together, wishing for solidness when we closed that last little space. Barely any air between us. Both holding position, frozen in place, too afraid to try but too greedy not to.

And then I did—I tried, I moved, I placed my hands on his chest. And suddenly, my body and his met. Touched. Became solid. We were physically together in the same space. In the dreamscape. I’d gathered enough strength from my Tallan to be real…or as real as we could get.

His breath washed over my face as he pulled me into his arms. Clinging. His touch rough and desperate, his hold almost tight enough to hurt. Mine just as strong. His lips met mine, owning me, his tongue forcing my own lips apart as I sighed. He wasted no time in our first kiss. He didn’t take anything slow or soft, he didn’t nibble…he devoured as I knew he wanted to. Tongue sliding, lips moving, he kissed me with a power that made me weak. Made me melt. But he was so strong, so big and burly. He simply held me up, lifted me right off my feet. My arms flew around his neck, my fingers immediately tangling in his mop of dark curls. Soft. So fucking soft. So perfect.

His hands slid down my back, a slow and steady glide, until he grabbed my ass to pull me closer. I think I might have moaned…I know I shivered. He responded in kind, a low vibration coming from his chest. One I felt but couldn’t hear. One I couldn’t explain but didn’t feel the need to. Nipping his bottom lip, I pulled back, eyeing him, practically panting. He waited, staring back at me, giving me my moment. His chest heaved against mine, still rumbling. Damn, there was so much between us, so much heat and need, so much emotion. The mating bond was there, true and strong, ready to be finalized. Ready for us to complete the ritual. But I still had to tell him, to explain how my life and his were connected. Soon, I’d tell him soon, but first, I needed to feel more of him. Taste him. Be with him however I could.

I leaned back in, kissing his chin, his jaw, up toward his ear. Tasting, touching, memorizing the feel of him. The vibrations he gave off grew stronger, coming in waves as I reached his earlobe. A little nip. Just a tiny bit of pain, and I headed down his neck. Dragging my tongue along his skin. Biting him. Wishing I could leave a mark that he’d see tomorrow, a reminder of sorts. Wanting to let others know he was mine.

If I could just figure out a way to keep him.

His lips found mine, kissing me softly this time, eyes locked as we came together again. Gently. Calmly. As if we’d done this a thousand times. Slow swipes of his tongue. Light pressure teasing me, tasting me. And his hands. They squeezed and kneaded my ass as he held me up. My legs wrapped around his waist, my arms over his shoulders. My body wrapped around him as I wanted to be, as I dreamed I would be. And the feel of him against me was exactly what I’d hoped for.

He returned to my neck, kissing me there, blazing a path down from my chin as I tilted my head back. Breathing against my skin. His lips moved back up, tickling my jaw, and I realized he was speaking. Whispering words I wanted to hear. I needed to hear. But I couldn’t. I hadn’t heard in years, not since the day I almost drowned when I was little more than a child. My last sound had been the roar of rushing water, cutting me off from the rest of the world in a heartbeat. I’d lost my hearing in an accident, and I’d never missed it more than I did in that moment. All I wanted, all I needed, was to hear his words. Just once. To know what he sounded like. What he was saying. What I made him feel.

And being that we were in our dreams, maybe I could.

I closed my eyes and pulled every bit of magical energy into me, all my want for him, my need. I stretched my gift to the limits, changing the dreamscape. My reality was silence. I’d gotten used to it, embraced it, and refused to let anyone treat me less because of it. But this wasn’t reality. This was a dream Kian and I could share. And anything was possible in dreams.

I concentrated on the feel of his lips, the brush of his breath against my cheek. I concentrated and I wished. Please let me hear him. Just this once. Let me hear him.

And then I did.