Chapter Nine

Nyla

Days passed slow and lonely, my mind unraveling with every minute spent trapped in the cage of my death. Nothing to relieve me, nothing to speed up the end of my life. For the first two times I slept, I tried to dreamwalk to Kian, hoping for a glimpse of his dark eyes. Both times, I failed miserably. I couldn’t feel him, had no real sense of him. It was as if there was something in between us, some field my Tallan couldn’t cross. The morning after the second try, I woke up and saw him standing outside my cell. The vision was so clear, so real, that I jumped up and stumbled toward him. But his face twisted into a sneer and he turned away from me. Not before signing one last word, though.

Broken.

And I was; I was broken. Each day was a constant struggle to stay in the present, to not let my mind play tricks on me. Fighting off images of Kian in the cave. He’d show up in a corner at any moment, sneering, rebuking me with his expression, and sometimes signing words that stabbed me right in the heart.

Broken.

Unworthy.

Weak.

I tried to fight those delusions back. As each one appeared, I pushed past, clinging to the final threads of my sanity with both hands. Even though my grip was slipping. Deep down, I knew Kian wanted me. Knew he didn’t see me as broken simply because I couldn’t hear. He’d been so excited to find a way to communicate, even learning the language of signing for me. He’d held me, teased me, and touched me with such care. There was no way he didn’t want me. And yet…

For two nights, I searched and failed. After that, I stopped sleeping.

On what I guessed was day four, my mother was allowed to visit. Her face showed her horror at my situation far better than any words she could have found to say. I turned away from her pity, fighting back my tears. She wouldn’t allow me to hide, though, grabbing me by the shoulders and forcing me to face her instead.

“I’ve given permission for Secor to claim you today,” she said, her hands fumbling the words, her eyes red-rimmed. “It’s not what you want, but sometimes we have to accept the fate handed to us. I know you think you found your true mate, but he’s not here, and we’re out of time.”

My tears burned as they fell, hopelessness a heavy shroud. “He said he was coming.”

Her face crumpled, and my heart broke to see the truth laid out so plainly. She didn’t believe me. Or maybe, she didn’t believe what Kian had told me. Hell, maybe she didn’t believe he existed. She might have thought he was a figment of my imagination, a vision caused by the power bleed of my mating call.

And the worst part was that being locked in a cell for four days with my delusions had left me wondering if maybe, just maybe, she was right.

“Mom,” I signed, my hands shaky and my tears falling freely. “I won’t let him claim me. I can’t.”

She clutched at me, her own tears falling freely. “I can’t watch you die, Nyla.”

“If you make me take Secor as a secondary mate, you will still watch me die, but slowly. Being mated to someone I can’t love will drain the life from me.”

“Please, baby. You need to accept him. He’s not your choice, but he’s promised to be good to you. Don’t make a rash decision. For me.” Her eyes widened and her lip trembled, but before she could sign anything else, she spun toward the entrance to the cave. I grabbed her arm, turning her to face me, questioning with my eyes.

“There are people to see you outside.”

People. Not one. Not just a guard bringing me food or Secor coming with his daily reminder of his offer. No, people. Which probably meant the Council elders were coming to relay their final decision. And though I knew we were all to believe they worked in the best interest of the clan, I doubted. Because the best interest of the clan was probably to let me go…to kill me as a weak link. But they wouldn’t, not with a man as powerful as Secor petitioning for the right to take me to his bed. I was as good as his because a group of old men who didn’t know me saw his request as more important than my wishes.

“Mom.” I forced the word through my lips. She turned to me, surprised. Not since I’d fully embraced the fact that I would never hear again had I spoken to her or even tried. She spoke to me when she signed, and I’d become quite adept at reading lips, but when it was my turn, I only signed. Until that moment.

“Nyla?”

“I love you.”

She pursed her lips, fighting to stay strong. “I love you, too, baby.”

As the men walked into the cave, lining up outside my cell, I wiped the tears from my cheeks. Head back, chin up, ready for anything. A glimpse of Kian in the corner, a flash of him out of the corner of my eye, almost broke my spirit, but I held on. Before the men could start the official meeting, I caught my mother’s eye, letting one last tear fall as I signed to her so no one else could see.

“I really thought he’d come for me.”

She grabbed me, pulling me into her arms as my tears fell anew. I sobbed in her arms, my heart broken. My soul shattered. This was it. My moment of fate. Did I choose to live in a loveless union with a man I barely knew just to stay alive or let the elders exact an ancient and barbaric custom of killing off unstable Tallan users? Either way, there would be no more happiness. No more hope. No more Nyla.

Kian was not coming for me.