Seven

 

KYLE

 

Dragon and his men had a building reserved for guests to their compound at the back of the main clubhouse. After my one-on-one with Store, I went and sat down with the rest of the Ghosts and the newly formed Valiant MC.

Hunter had been through hell on his mission which had ended his career in the Marines, but it was good to see him and his men healing. I still couldn’t believe that he’d gotten Piper back in his life and that he was a dad, too, but we’d had many deep and meaningful discussions about Piper over the years and what she meant to him, so I wasn’t surprised that he’d gone after her. The hell that he was going through while we waited for Bo to call with an update on Piper’s location was reflected on all of his men’s’ faces. We would get her back from that bastard.

After a couple of drinks and discussing how to proceed once we had her location, I went to the room that I’d been given after we arrived. I could feel the stress of the bullshit Store had spouted at me still weighing on my shoulders. Normally, I’d beat the shit out of one of the guys or bring out my rifle, but right now I needed to find a way to settle my brain that didn’t involve violence. I didn’t doubt that over the next couple of days I would get to work the stress out that way, and regardless of my love for my rifle and my job, there were moments where I needed to just switch off all of my internal switches; like now.

I just got in the shower when a warm body pressed up behind me. I heard him enter the room a couple of minutes previously so it didn’t shock me.

“You okay, baby?” he whispered as his arms went around me from behind me and he buried his head in my neck with the shower pouring over us. Both things worked wonders in ways I wouldn’t have guessed that they would, so I relaxed back into him. The answering tightening of his arms told me he had noted and appreciated this slight change.

Sighing, I leaned further back. “Yes and no,” I was doing my best to think of a way to describe it. I wasn’t used to sharing so putting the thoughts and feelings into words was challenging. “She was the reason so much happened, Jagger. Now, where do I focus that shit?”

She was out of the picture now, and seeing her defeated meant that I had nowhere to direct the emotions that I’ve had for so long. I still had the issues with Preacher and I didn’t see that going away, but then what she said was confusing those. For years, I’d hurt over how he had abandoned me when I needed him. I’d hurt for the times mom would take it all out on me. I hurt for the time when I walked into the room and the back of her head was on the wall and she was lying on the bed covered in blood and crap. I tried so hard over the years, but some pain never leaves you.

“I heard what she said about Preacher,” Jagger sighed. I was partly relieved that he had so that I didn’t have to repeat the words, but I was also partly on defense now. Would he expect me to just forgive Preacher? “How do you feel?” I shrugged because it was the only response I could think of. I felt so much over it. Trying a new tactic, Jagger asked, “Were you really close to your mom?”

The snort left me before I could stop it. “No, she was a bitch.” I had explained some of it to Jagger, but he didn’t know the full extent of it. Maybe if he did, he’d understand why I couldn’t ever trust Preacher? Reaching over me, he picked up the shampoo that was on the side, poured some into his hands and started lathering it up in my hair. I understood the move, the ball was in my court; he wasn’t going to force me to talk. I tipped my head back enjoying the pressure of his strong hands as he massaged and cleaned my hair. “How much do you know about my parent’s relationship?”

He paused slightly, and then continued to work on my hair. “It wasn’t a good one. She played the cliché move of getting pregnant and then using it to control him,” he replied, outlining it in the most diplomatic way possible.

Nodding, I put my head under the spray buying myself some time to decide how to explain it, before leaning back and waiting for him to do a second round of shampoo. After so many trips to hot sandy countries, I couldn’t just do with one round of shampooing regardless of how short my hair was.

“From as far back as I can remember, my parents had issues,” I started. “The arguments, the screaming, the slamming doors…it was constant. When I was five, I walked into the house and found mom drunk and slurring about inane bullshit. Stuff like how I would never find a man who would be faithful and that men lied about everything. I was only five so it was confusing, ya know?” I turned to look at him and saw that although his jaw was tight, his face was blank. He knew the effect that could have on a young girl’s psyche, so did she, that’s why she did it. “She ranted about how she’d done everything for Preacher to make him happy and love her, but he didn’t give a shit about either of us. According to her, the reason that I was named Kyle was because he was so damn disappointed I was a girl and not a son, that he’d given me a boy’s name anyway,” trailing off, I remembered Store throwing that same thing in my face today, almost verbatim. Was that what he told everyone?

Jagger was now washing his hair with one hand while his other arm stayed around my waist. “You know he named you after his grandad, right?”

Shrugging, I reached for the shower gel and poured some into my hands. “That continued throughout my childhood and got worse,” his movements behind me paused slightly before picking up again. “I’d do everything to get Preacher’s attention, but he was hardly home and when he was he locked himself away from us after the obligatory screaming match with my mom. She would drink herself into oblivion and I’d stay in my room thinking of ways to get his attention.” I moved out of the way and took a second to think while Jagger washed the soap out of his hair. If I analyzed it closely, I did spend a lot of time with Preacher, but the more my mom revealed, the more the memories of those times faded, so I felt a constant need to get his focus onto me in any way that I could.

When he became President of the Knights MC it had gotten worse. When I’d visit him at the compound he would be distracted and could only give me five minutes of his time. Mom had told me not to bother, but I still did everything I could.

Taking the shower gel out of my hand, Jagger turned me so that my back was to him and started washing it. “Do you think you got his attention?” He asked as he massaged my shoulders. This guy had frigging magic hands!

“I got Red to teach me how to ride a motorcycle at the age of fourteen,” I said laughing and shaking my head at the thought of the old member teaching me. “When I rode it in front of Preacher for the first time, he smiled and had told me that I could only drive it on the compound. He told me that one day I’d make a fine biker,” I felt so fucking proud of myself at that moment, like I had a purpose. Now, I felt like that all of the time because I was in control of my life and my work. “I made it my mission to learn to do everything the guys did after that. I could shoot like a pro at sixteen, ride a bike with my eyes shut, my knife skills were scary and I was becoming one of the guys.”

“That you did,” Jagger chuckled behind me making me laugh. “It sounds like things you’re your da…Preacher were going good. When did it change?”

A memory sobered me up. At the age of seventeen, I’d spend most of my time at the compound away from my mom because all she did was scream and drink. She had also started lashing out more at me by then. Before, it had been a slap to the face, or a kick to the thigh, but the older I got and the more time I spent with the Knights, the worse it had gotten. Black eyes, stitches in my mouth and that was nothing in comparison to the chunks of hair she’d pull out and the time that she’d hit me on the legs and arm with a baseball bat. On those occasions, I could hide it at home. I would tell Dad that I was busy with school or not feeling well. On the rare occasions that he actually came home, I’d hide under the covers and make my voice raspy so that he didn’t suspect anything.

“I told you about her hitting me and the baseball bat, didn’t I?” I felt his nod against my back and decided that for once in my life, I needed the reassurance that contact would give me while I told him the story. Only a handful of people knew what had happened next. Wrapping my arms around him, I pressed my face against his chest and went for it. “After the baseball bat, I started to plan a way to escape. The things she told me about dad were starting to break pieces of me. The cheating, the illegal shit, the young women they apparently had in a warehouse…it was all too much. She would always make sure to stress that I wasn’t enough and that I should never have been born, I was the biggest mistake she’d ever made,” he said something I couldn’t make out into my hair as I figured out how to describe the worst bit. “One afternoon I was just pulling up to the compound when she came running out of it screaming and weaving around drunk out of her mind. I took her home and got her into bed; the whole time she was spitting at me and clawing my arms. In the end, I gave up and went back downstairs. I remember sitting on the couch wondering how my life was falling apart so badly and counting the days until I could leave when I heard the bang,” the unmistakable sound of a gun going off replayed through my head. I had heard it regularly since then, but that bang was different to any of the others.

“You were in the house when it happened?” He sounded strange as he asked the question.

I nodded against his chest. “I remember walking slowly up the stairs and standing in front of the bedroom door for a while before I walked in. There was blood up the walls, she had part of her skull missing and the look on her face…And then I saw the letter beside her with my name on it. I knew what she was going to say, but somehow the fact that she had used her last minutes alive writing it gave the words extra weight.”

“Wait,” Jagger pulled back from me. “She wrote you a letter as she killed herself?” I nodded and shrugged in response. “Holy fuck, baby,” he pulled me into a tight hug and I could feel him shaking slightly as he took in what I’d told him.

What he didn’t know was how the letter had told me everything about my dad and how she’d walked in on him that day screwing Store. How he’d begged her to have a kid when they first met and when I was born, he’d walked away and hadn’t given a shit after that because I was a girl. It ended with how I was a failure to him and that on that very day, he’d told her to leave and to take me with her…every word had torn my heart to pieces.

I ran and packed a bag and had driven to the only person I knew that I could trust – my Uncle Duke. Sure, he was dad’s brother, but he was a great guy and had always visited and called me. He’d become the one person that I could talk to and trust from a young age, so I knew he’d keep me safe.

Turning the water off, Jagger led me out of the shower and started drying me. In the past when it had come up, I’d been left feeling unsettled and raw; telling Jagger though had been almost therapeutic, like he understood. Maybe he did?

Looking up at him, I saw the way he was watching me back. Leaning down, he pressed his forehead against mine and closed his eyes briefly. When he opened them again, he said, “You matter, you’ll see. I couldn’t be prouder to have you as mine.”

 

JAGGER

 

Listening to everything that she went through was one of the hardest things that I’d ever done. Knowing that she’d been hurt so much, had been so lost and also the guilt that I was fucking lying to her were all eating away at me. I wanted to tell her the secret, but I couldn’t. I could tell her what I knew, but that would only be a tiny bit of the actual truth and secret itself; only Preacher knew it all and could tell her. I could make it worse, but I could make it better at the same time and maybe give her even a little peace of mind?

I was about to say something, but she beat me to it.

“I don’t want to talk anymore,” she pressed up against me in her towel.

I could see the swirling emotions in her eyes just as she lifted her hands and undid the towel around my waist. Her hands spread out over my stomach as she traced over the muscles on it, gently scratching her nails across it at the same time.

Leaning into me, she started to lick and nip my chest before lifting up and stopping with our lips just touching.

“You make me feel,” she whispered against them. “I feel safe.”

The way she said the words made it sound as if she was forcing herself to open up that final bit, lowering her last wall. The guilt almost crippled me, but everything else I was honest about and this wasn’t my truth to tell.

Wrapping my arms around her and pulling her close, I decided that first thing in the morning I was going to find Preacher and tell him either told her or I would. That eased my conscience a bit, and I gave her back what she’d given me.

“You are safe with me,” I held her eyes as I said it so that she would see how deep that truth was. “And you make me feel, too. This,” I gestured between us, “is something different, you know that. This is us.” That was the only word that I could think of, but I stressed it with a squeeze so that she understood. We were so different from anything I’d come across before, it was like there was a pull to her the second I saw her the first time that just kept getting stronger. Fuck if I knew what it was, but I knew that I would do everything to keep her.

Her eyes heated up as she closed that final distance between us, her hands going into my hair as she kissed me. We were already pressed up against each other, but I pulled her impossibly closer as my tongue swept into her mouth desperate to be as close to her as I could be.

Moving my hand up her side, I made my way to the twist thing keeping her towel closed and yanked. The towel dropped to the floor and I got the skin on skin contact that I needed.

Kyle hands moved down my back as she ground her stomach against my cock making me moan into her mouth. My control snapped and I reached down and grabbed her behind her thighs, picking her up and wrapping her legs around my waist which placed her pussy over my cock. It was fucking heaven feeling her wetness rubbing on me as I walked us a couple steps over to the wall and leaning her against it.

Pulling my mouth away from hers was hard, but I kissed and licked down her neck, my focus and aim on her beautiful tits. Lifting her slightly higher up the wall, I reached the first mound and licked over it, my attention on her nipple. Just as I reached the turgid peak, she grabbed a handful of my hair and arched her back, putting her in the perfect position. Sucking it into my mouth, I pressed it gently against the roof of my mouth giving her the pinch that she loved.

Her moans were getting louder and her pelvis was moving against me, her wetness spreading across my stomach. I let her nipple go with a loud pop and licked over to the other one giving it the same attention.

“Jagger,” she panted through her moans. “Please.”

She didn’t have to explain what it was that she was asking for, the way her pussy was rubbing against me was explanation enough.

I didn’t want to leave her tits, but I felt the same desperation to be inside her and feel her tightness squeezing me while holding her. Right now, I didn’t want to be on the bed either, I had an almost animalistic feeling riding me.

“Fuck me,” she begged.

My control snapped and I held my cock as I lowered her onto it quickly, the tip pushing inside her making us both gasp. She was so tight and wet, it was fucking heaven.

“Fuck,” I groaned against her neck. I was going to have to take this slowly or I’d come before she did. The decision was taken out of my hands, though, when she used her thighs to raise herself slightly before slamming herself down my length. “Kyle,” it came out as a shout at the same time she shouted my name out.

Grabbing handfuls of her ass in both hands, I held her as I pounded up into her, her back moving up the wall with each powerful thrust. The noises coming out of her spurred me on and I thrust harder. I needed her in my mouth too, though, so I took advantage of the movement of her breasts with each thrust and caught one of her nipples between my lips before I pressed my face forward and sucked hard. There was an answering tug in her pussy as I did it and I knew that she was close.

Moving my hand around her, I moved my thumb onto her clit and started to press and rub. She started fluttering around me as I kept thrusting into her as hard as I could. Just as she started to tense, I sucked her nipple as hard as I could, pressing it up against the roof of my mouth with my tongue, and then rubbed her hard nub. She gave a huge gasp and then I felt her wetness flood around me as she came, her pussy squeezing me tightly. I couldn’t stop it and came as I pounded as hard and fast as I could. The feeling was fucking heaven and it felt like I’d never stop coming.

There were spots dancing in front of my eyes as I sucked air in and the feeling of euphoria left me. Kyle shuddered a few more times before melting against me, her head buried in my neck. I used the last of my energy walking us over to the bed, still with me inside her, and lay us both down on it with her on top of me.

“I’m not ready to lose you,” she mumbled against my chest, sounding as exhausted as I felt.

“I’m not ready to leave you.”

Rubbing her nose between my pecs, she made herself comfortable before I felt her fall asleep as if someone had flicked a switch. Normally, Kyle took a while to get comfortable and fall asleep, but tonight was different. I felt like we’d turned a corner, but there was still something holding us back.

We had a big day ahead of us tomorrow once we received the final bit of intel from Bo that we needed to get Piper back for Hunter. After that, Preacher would tell Kyle the truth and I could work on taking us forward to the next step. Having never been in a relationship, I didn’t know what the next step actually was, but I would be finding out soon enough. I wanted all of the steps with Kyle.