Jaxon

I shouldn’t have been in the bed with Violet at all, but especially when she was half naked and vulnerable. When I heard her sobbing in the shower the last thread of anger I’d been harboring broke loose. I should’ve known better than to allow her to be alone after the last forty-eight hours. I knew the break down was coming; I saw it on the plane. As tough as she tried to be, pretending what had happened in the hotel room was no big deal, I knew better.

The look of devastation and defeat on her face when I pulled the shower curtain back was gut wrenching. I didn’t think she even realized she’d been crying; however, she hadn’t protested when I dried her off and dressed her. I still needed to tend to her arm, but I didn’t have it in me to let her go just yet. It was by some miracle I was able to keep my body’s reaction under control, seeing her wet naked form in the shower threatened my resolve. She was a beautiful woman with her clothes on. But standing before me, even with tears streaming down her cheeks, fully nude, was a sight to behold. The woman had curves in all the right places. I’d like to say I was a better man and hadn’t looked, but once her uncovered full breasts came into view I couldn’t help myself. They were large and looked to be pillowy soft, the perfect size to push together and bury my cock between. The thought made me a douche, but I was man enough not to act on my attraction. The last thing she needed from me, was for me to use her to satisfy my urges. Not that she wouldn’t be more than satisfied herself. Bottom line was it would be wrong to touch her.

“Tell me something about yourself,” she whispered.

I didn’t make a habit of telling women about my personal life, but I couldn’t deny her.

“There’s nothing special to tell. I grew up in Southern California, joined the Air Force and spent some time traveling around.”

“Somehow I doubt there’s nothing special. Do you have brothers and sisters?”

“I do. I have a younger brother. He’s still in California. He’s a cop.”

“A family of service. Was your dad in the military?”

“No.” I chuckled at the thought of my father getting his hands dirty. He was a good father and taught me and my brother the value of hard work, but his idea of work was sitting behind a desk. “He’s an investment banker.”

“Was he disappointed you didn’t follow into finance?”

“Not at all. He encouraged me and Cooper to work hard. He didn’t care if we were tradesmen or an executive. As long as we were the best we could be, it didn’t matter.”

“What did you do in the Air Force?” she yawned her question.

“I was Pararescue with the 71st Rescue Squadron.”

“A PJ. That’s under the Air Force Special Operation Command, right? Were you deployed?”

I was impressed she knew what a PJ was. Most people think of SEALs or Delta operators when they hear Special Forces, not knowing the Air Force had their own Special Forces team going back to World War II.

“It is. I spent more years in the sandbox than I did on American soil.”

Violet yawned again and shifted.

“You should get some sleep,” I told her and rolled so I could pull the covers over her.

“Will you stay with me?”

Would I stay? Yes. Should I? That was a big fat fucking no.

“Would you be more comfortable if I made a bedroll on the floor?” I asked.

“No. I want you close.”

I rolled off the bed and undressed, not bothering to leave the room. Violet was on her side safely facing away. I tagged the sweats I’d pulled out of my pack earlier and put them on; the extra barrier was necessary. We were playing a dangerous game sleeping in the same bed. She might not have realized it, but a searing current was sizzling just below the surface threatening my control. Need was starting to short circuit my brain and all the reasons why I couldn’t have her had disappeared.

I slid back into bed next to her and tried to keep a respectable distance between us. Surprisingly it didn’t take long for exhaustion to pull me under. I felt Violet move closer, her tiny body pushed tight against mine, and she tangled her legs with mine. If I wasn’t careful we’d do something we’d both end up regretting, especially if she didn’t stop wiggling her ass into my crotch. She stopped moving and her breathing evened out. After a few deep breaths to calm the ache she stirred, I closed my eyes.

I just had to make it through the night. How many times had I fallen asleep with that same thought? Only this wasn’t combat, and I wasn’t in desert. I was in a bed with a soft beautiful woman at my side. It was no less precarious. As a matter of fact, Violet Meyers was far riskier than any mission I’d been on.

***

I was wide awake the moment Violet moved. I kept my eyes closed when she’d turned toward me and rested her head on my chest. Her arm was thrown over my stomach, and her touch was feather light. I assumed she was tracing the tattoo on my side, but I couldn’t concentrate enough on the pattern she was drawing to know for sure. She kept her movements slow and gentle; thinking I was still asleep she explored my chest and abs. My muscles tightened under her touch and she became emboldened, going lower, trailing her fingers around my bellybutton, then lower still stopping at the waistband of my sweatpants. Her hand lingered before she started to slide her finger tips under the elastic.

I grabbed her wrist before she could go any further. Violet froze, then tried to pull her hand away but I kept a firm grip on her wrist, keeping her fingers just under my sweats.

“Think carefully before you move your hand any lower, Vi.”

“I have thought about it.” Her voice was throaty and sounded even sexier still rough with sleep.

I loosened my grip and without waiting she pushed under the material. She didn’t have to go far before her hand reached the tip of my dick.

The groan that escaped when she traced the head was involuntary, and only served as encouragement. Her hand pulled back and she dove back in this time under my boxers as well. The skin-on-skin contact was nearly too much. I had to grab her hand again when she fisted my dick and stroked me from tip to root. With my large hand over her much smaller one, she tried to stroke me again. Taking both of our hands down to the base, she stopped and squeezed. Before she could move, I tried to warn her again.

“This isn’t a good idea.”

“Yes, it is.” Her words were accompanied by her tongue licking around my nipple.

Holy fuck, she was going to kill me.

This was a bad idea.

“It isn’t. If you’d stop to think about it, you’d know I was right.”

“I don’t want to think anymore Jaxon. I want to not think. I know I’m using you to escape if only for a few minutes. But I need this. Please.”

I let her plea roll around in my head before I answered.

“You can take whatever you need, but you’ll need more than a few minutes. You’re in charge. You set the pace, and we stop whenever you want.”

I’d never allowed a woman to take control in the bedroom. I didn’t have a need for all the add-ons some of the guys I knew did but being in control was normally a must.

“Can I take these off?”

Yep, this was a bad fucking idea.

She tugged my sweatpants and boxers down and I lifted my ass to help her pull them off; after I was back where she wanted me, she rolled to her knees and straddled my legs. Pulling my tee she was wearing off and tossing it aside, her beautiful tits were on full display. It was the second time I’d seen them, but this time I could touch, and I didn’t delay. My hands went up and I cupped both of them. Just like I’d imagined, my hands didn’t cover even half, they were heavy with perfect areolas and nipples that were erect and begging for my mouth.

“Lean down so I can taste you.” Before Violet did what I asked, she started to pull her panties down. “Leave them on.”

As flimsy as the lace material was, I needed a reminder not to take this any further than hands and mouths.

“But…”

“It pains me to have to talk about this while you’re sitting on my lap looking like a goddess, but I don’t have a condom in my go-bag.”

“I’m clean and on the pill. It’s been almost a year.”

Fuck. I had to close my eyes to gather my thoughts. I couldn’t think straight with her in nothing but a sexy pair of blue panties on.

Bad fucking idea.

“It hasn’t been a year for me,” I told her. “I’m always protected but I would never…”

“I understand.” She cut me off and tried to move.

“Stop. You don’t understand.” She continued to try and wiggle off me. I thought about letting her move and putting an end to this insanity. It would’ve been the smart thing to do. I could’ve allowed her to think whatever she wanted and we’d both be saved from making what was sure to be a mistake. But I couldn’t. In some crazy twist of fate, she’d crashed into my life and the thought of her thinking I didn’t want to have sex with her because there was something wrong with her gutted me. “Don’t pull away from me Violet. You started this, so now you’ll hear me out. If after I’m done talking you want to stop we will.”

She stopped moving and stared down at me with her big brownish red eyes. The room was shadowed, the only light was coming from the overhead florescent lights in the other room. If it had been brighter, I knew I would’ve seen the red flecks mixed with the brown.

“I would never put you at risk. I wouldn’t say I sleep around, but in the past, I have engaged in casual sex. Trust me Violet, I don’t want to be having this conversation. I’d much rather have you well on your way to your first orgasm. But I need you to know as much as I’d love to bury my cock inside you, I won’t. Not without knowing I’m safe to do so. So, unless you have a condom somewhere in your bag, all you’re gonna get today are my fingers and tongue.”

Violet shifted and bit her bottom lip, and in a turn of events I didn’t see coming I was now ready to beg her to continue. Whether she’d meant to or not, her movements were grinding the lace of her panties against my already throbbing dick.

“I’m not sure how to do this,” she admitted.

“Baby, you were doing just fine before we stopped to talk,” I reminded her.

“That was before, when I was feeling brave.”

“Do you want to stop? We can lie here and talk awhile.”

“No.” I couldn’t stop the smile that formed at the vehemence in her tone. “I mean, not if you don’t.”

Thank fuck.

“Come down here. I want to taste your mouth before I move on to other things.”

I hadn’t thought about kissing her before now. I’d planned on getting us both off while trying to keep the intimacy at bay. But now that I’d zeroed in on her lips, I didn’t want any barriers between us.

Except a condom, I reminded myself.