Violet

It was exhausting living a double life. I was so tired of trying to be brave. I wasn’t any good at this spy game shit; hell, I was a bad liar. It was a miracle none of my colleagues had caught on to what I had done. I couldn’t stay behind with Jasmin. I had to get my hands on the mini drone the SEALs were in possession of. The sooner this was over, the better. I didn’t think I had much more in me before I had a complete meltdown.

“I made a Chinese agent back in Virginia. I let him follow me for a couple of days while I tried to figure out why he was there,” I started to tell Jaxon.

“Wait. You had an MSS agent following you, so you thought you’d lead them to Zane’s house?” he interrupted.

I fought back the eye roll. “No. The agent was neutralized before I left Virginia.”

“Where is he now?” he asked.

“Dead on my living room floor. Another charge I’ll have to face when I get home. Anyway, he broke into my apartment. I was within my rights to shoot him. He had a thumb drive with him, the detailed mission briefs on two different SEAL Teams. Team Bravo had just returned to Virginia from an op in Bogotá, their entire mission had been tracked. I mean, they had a GPS lock on the team while they were OCONUS. Alpha Team’s Sudan Op was outlined as well – every last detail. The Chinese had tracked the first team so well, they had set up the sale of the team’s whereabouts to Wekesa, a Sudanese warlord. When the team lands, they will be tracked and Wekesa will have their exact location.”

“Why does the Chinese government want you dead?” he asked.

“I don’t know.”

“Back to this shit? Violet, if you want our help, you have to come clean. About everything.”

I didn’t know why the Chinese wanted me dead. I hadn’t had any dealings with them until the man started following me. I wanted to tell them the truth, about everything, and unload the burden I’d been carrying for the last six months. I didn’t know how to do this – I didn’t want to do this. I didn’t ask for it or seek it out. He was right, I was a desk jockey. I didn’t know what I was doing.

“And I will. I’ll tell Zane everything and hand over all of the evidence I’ve collected when we get back.”

“What the fuck is so important in Africa that you can’t tell us?”

“The most important thing is getting Wolf, Abe, Dude, Benny and Cookie home in one piece.”

I turned in my seat and faced forward. I couldn’t stand the look of censure in his blue eyes. There was nothing he could say to me that would make me hate myself more than I already did. However, I didn’t have an option. I had to do this one last thing, then I would be free.

If they decided to leave me behind, I’d find a way to break out of the hotel room. I could track the platoon myself. The minute they activated the latest and greatest in mission hardware I’d have a lock. The government had spent millions developing a mini drone. They were much like the ones on the civilian market only smaller, quieter, had better video, battery life, and far better range. An operator could stay under the protection of cover more than a mile away and send the mini drone to scout an area, not putting human life at risk. The operator and the command back at the DOD could watch in real time.

But, there was a fatal flaw in the design. The drone could be hacked and had been.

Zane walked back to tell us we were getting ready to land. Jaxon filled him in on the Chinese agent and he looked like he was ready to explode. If I’d thought he was pissed when I showed up at his house, I was wrong.

“Let me make sure I understand fully. There is a dead MSS agent in your apartment?” he asked through gritted teeth.

“Yes.”

“Jesus, fuck! You didn’t think you should’ve had someone to clean up the body?”

“Well, I don’t know Zane. You tell me. Is there a 1-800-pick-up-a-dead-MSS-agent in the phone book?

Jaxon chuckled, and Zane narrowed his eyes. “Yes, as a matter of fact there is. Me! Now you’ve left a rotting carcass in your house. Nothing screams guilt like a dead body. Did you think your neighbors would miss the smell of decomp? Mistake the oh-so-lovely aroma of decaying flesh for you not taking out the trash? For a CIA trained spy, you suck.”

“I’m not a fucking spy!” I blurted out. I was doing the best I could. I was being blackmailed, made to do things that were morally incomprehensible, followed, and now people were trying to kill me. There was only so much I could take. “I’m an analyst. The CIA recruited me from the FBI. You think I wanted any of this? I didn’t. I don’t. I don’t want to be involved in any of this. I’m doing the best I can. And I am guilty. I killed him. I’ll answer to it when I get home. I already told you, I’ll admit to everything.”

“Who are you protecting?” The question had come from Jasmin.

“No one.”

“Bullshit. I don’t believe for a second you’d help Timothy Clark unless he was holding something over you.”

“Why’s that?” I shouldn’t have asked. It really didn’t matter what she believed about me, but deep down that was a lie. It did matter. I would never have betrayed my country or the oath I took if it wasn’t for Timothy Clark and what he’d threatened.

“I don’t think you have it in you to be underhanded. We know why Timothy Clark did it. He was a greedy piece of shit that roped in his brother Louis and the two of them together sold whatever information they could get their hands on to the highest bidder. They didn’t care who got hurt or what foreign government wanted the intel, they just wanted the money. Neither of them would admit to what they had done. You? Complete opposite. That means Timothy Clark, Siles, Gomez, or someone is yanking your chain. They have something you need. Something you’re willing to die to protect. That something is a person.” Jasmin’s normally tough exterior had softened a fraction before she continued sliding her mask of indifference back into place. “Not that I fucking care who it is. Bottom line is you’re a traitor.”

I couldn’t argue with her, she was right. My reasoning behind what I had done didn’t matter. I’d gladly give up my freedom if it meant he was safe.

“We should be landing in less than thirty minutes. Tex has a man named Faheem Wadood meeting us. Tex has worked with him before and says he’s the best. He’ll be our guide. Hopefully he’ll be able to lead us to the men.”

“We won’t need Faheem.” I hope I wasn’t making a mistake but letting the guide take us around Juba would be a waste of time. Time the team didn’t have.

“Why is that?” Jaxon asked.

“Because I can track them once we’re on the ground.”

“Come again?” Zane was going to need dental implants soon the way he ground his teeth together.

“Why did we fly all the fucking way to Africa if you could track their location. There are boots on the ground in the area that could’ve been sent in,” Eric added.

“I swear to God, if you do not start talking, I’ll have your ass locked up in a prison that makes Iceland look like Club Med. Whomever you think you’re protecting will never see you again, and whatever you’re protecting them from will no longer matter. Either you trust us with what you have, or you have nothing.” Zane was no longer angry and that scared me more; he was flat out done.

Shit.

“I’m being blackmailed.”

“No shit, really?” Zane cocked his head to the side and looked at me like I was stupid.

I didn’t care. It felt good to say it out loud. To finally admit the truth.

“It started with Timothy Clark.”

“I hate to be a dick, but we land in less than thirty minutes. Why don’t we hit the high points for now?” Eric made a move-a-long gesture.

“Timothy had a list of covert operatives that were embedded all over the world. Long cover CIA agents. He told me he would release the list if I didn’t help him find something to use against the Attorney General Peter Newton.”

“That’s impossible. We stopped Louis Clark, aka Deepweb336, from completing the hack.” Zane told me. “He played you. His brother never got the names.”

“He has the list,” I insisted.

“How do you know the list he gave you was real? You’d have no way to authenticate the names – once the agent is under, the CIA no longer keeps records.”

“Trust me, it was real.”

“Sorry to tell you, you’ve been duped. I personally put the bullet in Louis’ forehead before he completed the hack. We had Garrett, our technical analyst, in the CIA’s database watching what Louis was doing. Deputy Director Banning instructed us not to shut down the system and watch if Louis could breach. He couldn’t. He didn’t, Violet. He never got the list.”

“He did get the list. While all of you were playing cyber war games to see who could hack whom, did you ever stop to think who was watching Timothy?”

“How do you know?” Jaxon narrowed his eyes.

“I know they have the names because it was my job to scrub the agent’s files when they went under.”

“Timothy is dead. Who the fuck has the list now?” Jasmin asked.

“Timothy was working with a man named Manuel Ortega,” I told them.

“Manuel Ortega? I know that name,” Jasmin commented.

“You should. Manuel Ortega is ex Bolivian Special Forces turned rogue,” Eric seethed. “I thought that asshole was dead.”

“Why are the Chinese after you?” Zane asked.

“I assume they know about the list,” I told them. “MSS has to know they have American agents in their ranks. I think Timothy tried to double-cross Manuel.”

“I hate spy bullshit,” Jaxon grouched.

God, did I hate it too. I wasn’t cut out for this shit. I was in so deep I needed note cards to keep everyone straight. Bolivians. Chinese. CIA double-agents. People hacking into databases. I just wanted my old life back. My boring nondescript life. I went to work, came home, ate dinner by myself, watched TV, and went to bed.

Simple.

Dull.

Lonely.