Chapter 9

 

As promised, Alex and Stefan were waiting for me outside the station. Despite the fact they had asked me to come to Weymouth, neither of them looked particularly pleased to see me. Not that Alex ever looked pleased to see anyone, but even Stefan struggled to raise a smile. He was Rufus’s friend more than mine. Maybe he felt guilty at offering help when I had supposedly done the dirty on his best mate. I had the distinct feeling my being there was Alex’s choice rather than Stefan’s.

“I haven’t got much money,” I said apologetically, as we walked to where they had parked the car. “The train was sixty quid and I only had eighty in the bank. You can have my last twenty though, if it helps.” I’d worry about affording the train to Oxford when it came to it. My mother might even stump up the money if I begged hard enough.

“Keep it,” Alex said. “We invited you here, remember?”

“Ordered him more like,” Stefan grumbled, but there was no real malice in his voice. It looked as though I was correct in my assumption that this was all Alex’s idea. “But Boo is right, Eric. You hang onto your money.”

“Boo?” Alex and I questioned at the same time.

“What? I’m just trying it out.” Stefan gave his fiancée an innocent smile. “I think it suits you, my big Boo-bear.”

“Oh God, it gets worse,” Alex breathed. “Just get in the car, Stef, and spare me the pet names.” He glanced over the roof of the car at me, narrowing his eyes. “You can shut up, as well.”

We left the town centre and headed out toward Weymouth Bay where Stefan and Alex lived in their small apartment over Alex’s boss’ garage. We’d only gone halfway when Stefan told Alex to pull up outside a small grocery store so he could get something for us all to eat.

“I’m coming with you,” Alex said, putting the car in to park and unfastening his seatbelt.

“Alex, the store has three aisles and a seventy year old woman behind the till. I think I’ll be safe. You stay and talk to Eric.” Stefan leaned over to kiss Alex on the cheek before slipping out of the car. “If I’m not back in ten minutes, then you can come and rescue me. You know what Grace is like when she gets talking.”

He sashayed his way into the store, stylish and attractive in a far more understated fashion than Rufus ever seemed capable of achieving. Alex watched him go with a frown. He, more than anyone, knew there were people out there who would threaten or hurt Stefan because of the way he looked. A couple of years ago, before falling in love with a man himself, it would have been Alex doing the hurting.

“Can I ask you something?”

Alex nodded in response to my question, his dark eyes never leaving the door of the shop.

“Why are you doing this? Helping me, I mean.”

“To piss Rupert off.” A small smile tugged at the corner of Alex’s mouth. “Because you needed somewhere to go and someone to help you.” He paused. “But mainly it’s to piss Rupert off.”

“His name’s Rufus.”

“I know what his name is. I just don’t care. Never have. Never will.”

Silence filled the car again. Alex tensed as two guys neared the shop, only relaxing again once they were past the car and safely on their way down the road. I found myself watching the door as closely as Alex, willing Stefan to appear and save me from the awkwardness.

“Have you heard of a band called Arcadia?” I asked, trying to think of a way of starting a conversation. They might not be my listening choice, but might well be Alex’s.

Alex’s answer was to press a button on the dashboard. The inside of the car was suddenly awash with the thrum of electric guitars and a heavy drum beat. Mason’s deep, gravelled voice ground out lyrics about choosing between Heaven and Hell for love. Damn, I’d had no idea how good he was. Alex waited until the end of the song and turned the music off again.

“Why?”

A man of few words as ever, but I took it to mean why was I asking about Arcadia.

“Mason…Mace White…he’s the guy from Keane’s.”

Alex turned in his seat to stare at me. “Fuck off. There’s no way Mace White is a fairy.”

“Why not? You’re one,” I reminded him.

“True.” He settled back in his seat, drumming his fingers against the steering wheel impatiently as he waited for Stefan. “I’d heard he was taking a break from touring and bought a club somewhere. Didn’t put two and two together though. Mace White, eh? Is that really who you were seeing?”

“I wasn’t seeing him…and I certainly wasn’t stalking him.”

“Rodney says you were.”

“Rodney would,” I muttered, relieved to see Stefan emerge from the shop and hurry back to the car.

We were home ten minutes later. The apartment over the garage was fine for two people, nowhere near big enough for three. It was basically one long room, with a kitchenette at one end and a small bathroom in the far corner. Alex and Stefan’s bed was behind a balsa wood screen, but there was no door, making me hope they could keep their hands off each other while I was there.  I would hear everything and – from the sofa – I would be able to see far more than I wanted to as well. If they kept the place neat and tidy it was because they had no choice. There was no room for mess. Clothes were kept in two sets of drawers, and there was a battered sofa against one wall, an old TV against the other.

It made me feel sad again. Stefan and Alex had next to nothing, yet they were happy because they had each other. I envied them. I’d had everything with Rufus, but had we ever been truly happy? In the beginning perhaps, but certainly not recently.

Stefan cooked pizza and garlic bread, which we ate while watching Stefan’s favourite soaps. Alex seemed to know a lot about the characters and storylines for someone who claimed not to be interested. Both Stefan and I teased him about having a guilty pleasure and Alex blustered his way through a half-hearted denial which ended with us all laughing.

Briefly, I was able to forget what a disaster my life had become. It didn’t last long however. As the last notes of Coronation Street faded away, Stefan turned and demanded a full explanation for the way I had treated Rufus. I saw Alex’s jaw tighten and thought, while he might not be on my side exactly, he wouldn’t be as quick as Stefan to take Rufus’ word as gospel.

It was not as though I had anything to lose – Weymouth seemed as good a place as any to be unemployed and homeless if they kicked me out – so I told them everything. I started at the beginning, meeting Mason that first time in Keane’s without knowing who he was or that he had just bought the club, and about Mason being a patient on my ward. I told them how he had waited for me to finish work, across the road from the bus stop. Stefan asked a good question, and one that I couldn’t believe I had never thought of before: How had he known what time I finished and that I didn’t have my car that day? Had tracking me down that day been part of his game plan? God, he must have been laughing on the inside when I had given into him so easily.

Despairing at my own stupidity, I continued my tale of woe, telling Stefan and Alex how Mason had taken me back to his swanky apartment above the club, and how he’d faked a fall in order to lure me into his bedroom, which was where his boyfriend was obviously supposed to find us. I finished with the sad story of being suspended from work after Mason lodged a complaint, the injunction, and then waking up the next morning to find my car trashed. I even mentioned the photograph I had seen in the newspaper that morning, of Mason living it up on the red carpet with his boyfriend.

“I saw that too,” Alex rumbled. He lumbered to his feet. “Stay here.”

Like I had anywhere to go…

“This Mason creep set you up!” Stefan said, incredulous.

“I think so, although I can’t imagine why he’d want to. I mean, why me? What does he get out of ruining my life?” Stefan shook his head, equally at a loss. “But he made me realise one thing, whatever Rufus feels for me, it’s not love, is it?”

“Rufus is complicated,” Stefan said. “I’m not sure he’s capable of really loving anyone, not even himself.”

I nodded, realising that Stefan was right. Rufus would never be happy in a relationship with anyone because, underneath it all, he wasn’t happy with the person he was.

“How many times did he cheat on me?” I saw Stefan start to shake his head, not because he didn’t know but rather he didn’t want to say. “It’s okay, Stefan, I’ve already figured out it was more than the twice I knew about.”

“What you have to understand,” Stefan said awkwardly, “is that Rufus gets his sense of self-worth from men finding him sexually attractive. He wants to feel valued and wanted, even if it’s just for one night.”

“I valued and wanted him for eighteen months!”

“I know that. So did Rufus. I guess…I guess you just weren’t enough…”

“Stef, move,” Alex barked in his usual charming manner. Stefan scurried out of the way, watching in surprise as Alex dropped onto the sofa beside me with an open laptop in his hands. “This the picture?” I nodded. “Okay, tell me what you see.”

I glanced at Stefan for help, but he seemed as bemused by Alex’s behaviour as I was. “I see a man enjoying a night out with his boyfriend,” I said stiffly, trying to ignore the stab of bitterness I felt when looking at the photo of Mason. “Why? What do you see?”

“I see a guy who looks a bit of a prick wearing sunglasses in the dark,” Alex said, “so why is he wearing them?”

“I don’t know.” I was confused, unable to get the point Alex was trying to make. “Because he is a prick?”

“Maybe,” Alex admitted with a wry smile. “Or maybe he’s hiding his eyes because they’re red from crying, or because he’s got bags and shadows under them from lack of sleep. Look at him, Eric. Does he look happy to you? Or pleased with himself because he’s fucking with your life?”

“No,” I conceded grudgingly. “But Liam…that’s the boyfriend…you have to admit he looks happy enough.”

“Which one is the boyfriend?”

“What do you mean?” I stabbed a finger at Liam’s smug face on the screen. “That’s him. Isn’t it obvious?”

“No,” Alex said flatly. “If that’s Mason’s boyfriend, Eric, why is he behind the crowd barrier?”

“He’s not…he’s…”

I leaned over to take a closer look at the picture. Holy shit, Alex was right. Liam was behind the barrier, just another face in the crowd to anyone who didn’t know who he was. Mason had his back to him, effectively blocking Liam out. Why hadn’t I seen it before? It couldn’t be because Mason was still in the closet. He sang songs about going to Hell for the sake of forbidden love, and he’d bought a gay nightclub, for God’s sake. If people hadn’t worked it out yet, they soon would. What if Mason had told me the truth when he said Liam was not his boyfriend?

No, it didn’t matter. It made no difference to everything else that had happened. Regardless of whether or not Mason and Liam were together, Mason had still instructed his legal team to get the injunction. He’d still cost me the job I loved.

“It doesn’t change anything.”

“Perhaps if you talked to him…” Stefan suggested.

“I can’t…the injunction...I can’t contact him…”

On the padded arm of the sofa, my phone began to ring. The screen flashed up a number I didn’t recognise. I hesitated to answer, afraid it would be more bad news.

“He could always contact you though,” Alex said knowingly.