Chapter 15
Although Trevor had assured him that he wasn’t in a rush and they could keep their relationship quiet for as long as Ford needed, Ford had refused. He had seen the resigned acceptance on Trevor’s face when he thought Ford would continue hiding their relationship, and he would do anything he could to make sure that was the last time Trevor felt second best. Avoiding the inevitable blowup to his career and strain to his family wasn’t worth snuffing out the tentative hope in Trevor’s eyes, and besides, Ford didn’t want to keep hiding an important part of himself from the people he loved, and he wouldn’t let his father tell his contacts about their plan for the Senate seat without him knowing there was a very serious weakness in Ford’s candidacy. Which was why Ford stood on his parents’ porch at nine o’clock on Saturday morning.
“Ford, I didn’t know you were coming over this morning.” His father opened the door and stepped aside. “Your mother probably mentioned it while I was watching the news and I didn’t hear.” He raised the mug he was holding to his lips, took a sip, and then wrinkled his nose disgustedly. “I have no idea why people willingly drink this garbage.”
“What is it?” Ford followed him inside and closed the door.
“Herbal tea.” His father took another drink and groaned. “It’s horrible. I want coffee but your mother gave away the coffee maker.”
“The doctor said no more coffee, Bradford.” Ford’s mother walked out of the kitchen and over to him. “Good morning. Do you want a cup of tea?”
“My doctor said no such thing. You found that information on the Internet.”
His mother shook her head and sighed. “He said you had to limit yourself to two cups a day. That means it isn’t good for you. People in Europe drink tea and enjoy it.”
“I’m an American. I want coffee.”
“Ford? Tea?” She gave him a hug and then curled her arm through his. “I got a lovely new kettle and these adorable metal tins. They’re in the kitchen. I’ll show you.”
“I have to drink dirty water so you can have new kitchen accessories,” Ford’s father grumbled.
His mother stopped walking and looked at him, her lips stretched into thin lines and her eyes narrowed. “You have to drink very expensive flavored water so you stay healthy and don’t leave me.”
The grouchy expression immediately left Ford’s father’s face, replaced by regret. “I’m sorry, Theresa.” He took another sip, barely winced, and then smiled weakly. “This is good tea. I’m enjoying it.”
“Good.” She sighed. “And if that flavor isn’t your favorite, we’ll try another. The store at the mall had dozens of options. I’m sure I can find one you like.”
His father walked over to her, brushed his hand through her hair and kissed her. “Thank you.”
Just like always, the palpable love between his parents warmed him. But where he used to also feel envious and depressed because he was sure he’d never have the opportunity to experience that intimacy, Ford now thought of the way Trevor looked at him, touched him, and cared for him, and the warmth bloomed into profound joy.
“Come on.” His mother held onto his father’s hand. “We’ll get you a fresh cup while I make Ford’s tea. There’s a vanilla cinnamon one I’m sure you’ll enjoy.”
Though his shoulders slumped, his father didn’t say a word as he walked into the kitchen and sat at the table.
“Do you need help, Mom?”
“No, I’ve got it.” His mother took two mugs from the pantry and began measuring tea leaves into small metal containers. “Are you hungry, Ford? We already ate breakfast, but I have some sliced fruit in the refrigerator.”
“I’m good.” Putting anything in his rolling stomach was a recipe for disaster.
“I don’t remember making plans this morning,” she said as she poured hot water into the mugs.
“We didn’t. I want to talk with both of you. I hope it’s a good time.”
“Our only plans today are to have dinner with our church group.” She set three mugs on the table and then sat down.
“Is this about my heart?” his father asked. “Because I don’t want you to worry about that. You’ve got twelve months to get ready for the primary. Keep your eye on the prize. I’ll be fine.” He glanced at Ford’s mother and smirked. “I have an in-house health consultant dedicated to making sure of it.”
“That’s actually what I want to talk about.” Ford wiped his clammy palms on the front of his chinos. “Well, it’s part of what I want to talk about.” He gripped his mug and raised it to his lips, hoping his hand wasn’t shaking.
“The tea needs a couple of minutes to steep,” his mother said.
“Coffee doesn’t have a wait time,” Ford’s father said and then he immediately jerked his gaze toward his wife and cleared his throat. “Ford, you had a question about the election?”
“Not a question, really. I…” He set the mug down and took a deep breath. “There’s something you need to know. Something I should have told you a long time ago, but I didn’t want to disappoint you.” He licked his lips, forced himself to make eye contact with both his parents, and said, “I’m gay.”
For what felt like an eternity, nobody spoke, moved, or seemingly breathed.
“Gay?” his father said, as if perhaps he had misheard.
“Yes.”
His mother covered her mouth with her hand and shook her head.
“I’m sorry.” He blinked. “Not for being gay. I’m not sorry about that. But I’m sorry I waited so long to tell you and I’m sorry you’re disappointed and…” He tapped his foot and twisted his fingers. “That’s it, I guess.”
“You can’t be gay.”
Ford tried to think of the right response but he couldn’t come up with anything other than, “I am gay, Dad.”
“Have you prayed on this, Ford?” his mother asked, her tone desperate. “This year has been full of changes for you. The new position. Moving to Washington. I’m sure you’re not going to church every week and you’ve met new people, but you can’t let temptation lead you astray from the Lord’s path.”
“I’ve prayed about this for a very long time, and I don’t think I’m deviating from His path, Mom.”
“Good.” His father slapped his hand on the table. “As long as you keep it that way, there’s not a problem.”
“What?” Ford said at the same time his mother asked, “Bradford?”
“You heard him, Theresa. He said he hasn’t sinned. That means nobody knows about his…confusion. We’ll keep it that way and Ford can continue as planned while he gets over this. The primary’s in August, then the general in November, and—”
“Dad, I’m not going to get over it and people are going to find out about it.”
“No, they won’t. If you need to talk to one of the pastors, you can do that, otherwise you keep this to yourself and work on healing. Nothing has to change.”
“I don’t need healing. I’m healthy and I’m happy. More happy than I’ve ever been and that’s why I can’t continue hiding this.” He looked them squarely in the face. “I can’t continue hiding him.”
“Ford, we love you.” His mother reached for his hand and squeezed it. “We’ll pray for you. We’ll help you. We’ll—”
Undeterred, he said, “There’s someone I want you to meet.”
“There’s no reason to be rash.” His father held both palms up. “Calm down and think about this. You have an election to plan for. Once that’s done and your life gets back to normal, you’re going to see this isn’t what you want to do.”
“That won’t happen.” Ford rubbed his hands over his eyes. “You’re not listening to me.”
“We’re listening but you’re not hearing what we’re saying,” his father said.
“Ford, your father is just suggesting that you slow down a little instead of rushing into a mistake you’ll regret.”
“I’m thirty-seven years old and you think I’m rushing?”
“Your age has nothing to do with this.”
“My age means I’ve been processing this for a long time. I’ve tried praying it away. I’ve tried ignoring it. I’ve tried locking it away. None of that worked. I was miserable and guilty and lonely and—”
“Oh, Ford. You’re never alone. Christ is with you. We are with you.”
“You know the only thing that worked, Mom?” He bobbed his head as he spoke. “Embracing it. When I remembered God made me as I am and I accepted that this is part of His plan for me, I found happiness.” He rubbed his lips together. “I found love. He’s a good man, strong and smart and supportive. I’m a better person for having him in my life. I want you to meet him.”
It might have been a tactical error, Ford realized, to take Trevor to his parents’ house without telling them precisely who he’d be bringing. His rationale had been that their conditioning to be polite would outweigh their anger, and that seeing Trevor face-to-face would prove he was a person rather than a caricature on the news. As it turned out, he was wrong on both counts.
“What’s going on here?” His father looked back and forth from his mother, who stood in the entryway, mouth gaping, to Ford, who stood next to Trevor, directly in front of the open front door.
Hoping the second time would be the charm, Ford took a deep breath and made the same introduction that had rendered his mother mute. “Dad, I’d like you to meet Trevor Moga. Trevor this is my father, Senator Bradford Hollingsworth.”
“It’s good to meet you, Senator.” Trevor reached his hand out.
Looking down at Trevor’s hand in anger, Ford’s father said, “Is this supposed to be some sort of a joke?”
“I’m sorry,” Ford whispered to Trevor as his cheeks heated. “They’re not usually like this.” He flicked his gaze to his father, who was glaring at Trevor. “Actually, they’re not ever like this.”
Though he lowered his hand, Trevor’s smile didn’t fade and he didn’t skip a beat. “Mrs. Hollingsworth, Senator, maybe this conversation would be easier sitting down.” He glanced over his shoulder and arched his eyebrows meaningfully. “Away from the front yard?” He flattened his palm on Ford’s lower back and gently nudged him.
“Good idea.” Ford unfroze his legs and started walking. “The living room’s this way.”
The two of them moved into the house, steered around Ford’s father, and turned into the living room. Ford lowered himself onto the sofa and Trevor sat beside him.
“It’s going to be fine,” Trevor whispered, his eyes searching Ford’s face. “We’ll work through this together.” He caressed Ford’s knee comfortingly.
“I’m okay,” Ford assured him.
“I knew you people had no moral fiber but this is—” Ford’s father glowered at the edge of the living room, his nostrils flaring and jaw ticking. “Ford, do you understand this is a political maneuver meant to ruin you?”
“What?” Ford blinked in surprised at that particular assertion.
“They saw your promise, knew they wouldn’t be able to beat you, so they sent him to manipulate your weakness.”
“Dad, that’s not what happened.” It didn’t even make sense. “And I’m not weak.”
“Giving into temptation and sinning is weak.” Ford’s mother walked into the room and stood beside her husband.
“Who else knows about this? Are there photos? Videos?”
Ford jerked his gaze to Trevor, expecting him to be upset at the way his father was shouting at him, but instead Trevor’s lips twitched and his eyes sparkled. “No photos or videos, Senator.” His voice was completely even and worry-free. “Ford’s not a fan of those types of things.”
Choking on thin air, Ford fell into a coughing fit.
“Are you okay, honey?” Trevor rubbed circles on his back.
“I’m fine.” He held his hand up, ignored the heat on his face, and gave Trevor a warning look.
“That’s true.” Trevor’s lips turned up at the corners. “You’re very fine.”
“Behave,” Ford hissed under his breath.
Trevor smirked.
“You think this is funny? Is it all some sort of a joke to you? Sweep in here, destroy a man’s reputation, leave his life in shambles, and then go back to your people and laugh about a job well done.”
“I’m not an evil villain in a children’s play, Senator. I’m just a man who fell in love with your son.”
“You’re the man who corrupted my son,” his mother said shakily.
“He didn’t corrupt me, Mom.” Ford looked at her, willing her to understand. “He made me happy.”
“But before you met him, you didn’t—” She stumbled toward her favorite armchair, sat down, and swallowed a few times. “You weren’t giving in to sin.”
“Before I met him, I was still gay.”
“So that’s it?” His father nearly growled. “You’re going to throw your life away for a limousine liberal who claims to speak for the American people but knows nothing about the day-to-day lives of hardworking, church going, middle class families?”
“I don’t claim to speak for anybody but myself and my company.” Trevor glanced around the large room. “And nobody in this house is in the middle class.” Trevor took a deep breath. “But this conversation seems to have gone off-track. I’m not here to talk about politics.”
“No? So it’s just a coincidence that you decided to take up with the most promising young congressman in our party?”
“I’m attracted to the same intelligence, sincerity, and drive your party probably finds promising, so I’m not sure I’d call it a coincidence.” Trevor turned his head and gazed at Ford, his eyes glowing with warmth and affection.
Ford laced his fingers with Trevor’s.
“You’re flushing your career away, Ford. Do you understand that?”
He did understand and that saddened him, but if his choice was Trevor or the Senate, or even Trevor or the White House, there was really only one option. “You always taught me to put family first.”
His mother’s shoulders slumped and she looked up at his father who sighed and finally sat down.
They sat quietly for several strained seconds and then Trevor said, “His career isn’t over.”
Ford’s father huffed disbelievingly. “You’re not living in the real world if you think that’s true. Not if he does”—he waved his hand back and forth between Trevor and Ford—“that.”
“I very much live in the real world, and I didn’t get that figurative limousine you were mocking by luck or fanciful thinking.” Trevor sat up straight, his expression focused and serious. “Ford has name recognition, both his own and yours. People in this state have elected a Bradford Hollingsworth into the Senate for twenty years, which is longer than some voters have been alive. Not everyone watches cable news or cares about what politicians do once they’re in office, so many of them won’t know the details of Ford’s personal life. And those people who are interested will also be familiar with Ford’s good track record and his commitment to this state. On top of that, he has the support of a strong and powerful family.” Trevor paused. “Am I right about that last part, Senator?”
“Of course we’ll support you.” His mother turned to his father. “Bradford?”
“That goes without saying.” He waved his hand dismissively.
Tension Ford had been carrying for years seeped from him and he blinked back emotion. Apparently understanding the importance of his parents’ assertions, Trevor squeezed his thigh and smiled at him.
“But our support and your name recognition won’t be enough,” his father continued. “This isn’t like the local elections you won or even the House race. You have a year to raise ten million dollars.” He flicked his gaze to Trevor and paused, as if to let the number sink in. “That’s how much it costs to run a successful Senate campaign these days and it can’t be done without the party’s endorsement.”
“You don’t think your party will back him?”
“I think a lot of the money he would have gotten will go to his opponents and he won’t make it out of the primary.”
“Then skip the primary,” Trevor said simply.
“Skip the… You want him to run as an independent?” Ford’s father said disbelievingly.
“Why not?” Trevor shrugged. “Seems like an easy solution.”
“There’s nothing easy about an election. I’d think you’d have seen that with your father. And running as an independent means nobody will be backing him against two opponents with much deeper pockets.”
“Oh, I very much doubt that last piece.” Trevor chuckled darkly. “I assume you have a sense of my net worth so you realize there aren’t more than a handful of pockets in the world that are deeper than mine.”
The look of surprise on his parents’ faces probably matched his own, but before Ford could gather his thoughts or speak, his father said, “Even if you’re willing to make a substantial donation to his campaign, the contribution limits are too low for one person to compete with the national party.”
“There are no limits on funding your own election.”
Ford twisted to the side. “Trevor, you can’t—”
“What are you saying?” his father asked.
“I’m saying I earn enough to fund his election without making a dent in my portfolio, and once we’re married, what’s mine is his.” He wrapped his arm around Ford’s back. “Money will not be an issue.”
“You’re getting married?” his mother asked.
Ford pulled his focus away from Trevor to look at her. Her stance on same sex marriage started and ended with the Bible so he worried she’d be disgusted, but all he could discern was surprise and maybe concern.
“Yes,” he said cautiously.
“When?” she asked.
“We haven’t set a date.” Ford looked at Trevor. “The decision’s still new.”
“Better make it fast.”
Ford jerked his gaze to his father.
“Even if you’re not running in the primary, you’ll have to get your name out there and the general’s in fifteen months.” He tapped at his watch. “If you’re serious about funding the campaign, there’s no time to dilly-dally with this thing.”
“Dad, we can’t plan our wedding based on election dates.”
“Why not?”
“Yes, Ford, why not?” Trevor arched his eyebrows.
The man who’d told him he resented having politics dictate his personal life was now debating election strategies with his father and setting a wedding date to skirt campaign finance laws.
Ford leaned close to Trevor and spoke as quietly as he could. “I’m not marrying you so you can fund my campaign.”
“I know.” Trevor moved nearer and whispered into Ford’s ear, his hot breath making Ford shiver. “But I promised to support your dreams, and besides, this gives me a good excuse to make you mine before you change your mind.”
His chest swelling, Ford scooted until their thighs and shoulders were pressed together. “I’m already yours and I won’t change my mind.”
“Then there’s no reason to wait.” Trevor leaned back and uncertainty flashed in his eyes. “Unless you’re not sure.”
“I’ve never been surer of anything,” Ford said firmly and truthfully. How could he have doubts about spending his life beside a man who, without hesitation or complaint, set aside a lifelong aversion to something and offered to spend his time and his money on it simply because it was what Ford wanted?
“Well then, that’s settled,” said Ford’s father. “Your mother and sisters can help with the wedding plans and the two of us can focus on a strategy to show the voters you’re still the best man to represent them in Washington.” He paused and glanced at Trevor. “Or, I suppose, the three of us.”
“I’m just the checkbook. I don’t need to be a part of the strategy session.” Trevor brushed his lips across Ford’s cheek and started standing up. “But I’d love to see more of this great house.” He looked at Ford’s mother. “Can I impose on you for a tour, Mrs. Hollingsworth?”
“We’re going to be related. You can call me Theresa.” His mother still sounded uncertain, but she stood and even managed an almost smile.
“Trevor.” Ford grasped Trevor’s forearm.
“Yes?” Trevor leaned down until they were a breath’s distance apart.
“Thank you for…” He thought of all the ways Trevor made his life better, of how patient he had been while Ford had gathered the courage to come out, of how free he was with his affection, of his unwavering support and understanding. “Loving me.”
“Easiest thing I’ve done.” Trevor skimmed his palm across Ford’s face. “You talk politics with your father.” He narrowed his eyes determinedly. “I’m going to win over your mother.”