Chapter 13
A FRESH START
MAC
After the buzzer in my office goes off, I press the button to unlock the door and then pop a few more Tums in my mouth. On top of not sleeping and morning sickness, I have such bad heartburn that I have been eating Tums like candy.
“Knock, knock.”
Seriously? I inwardly groan when Edward walks through my office door wearing a smile that makes me want to punch him in the face.
“What are you doing here?” I ask, trying to be polite. I’m honestly way too tired to play nice with anyone right now.
“Hello to you, too.” He grins. “I thought I would stop by and see if you wanted to have lunch. I haven’t seen or heard from you since New Year’s.”
“I’ve been a little busy.” I sit back in my chair, praying the antacid works soon.
“Is everything okay?”
“Everything’s fine,” I lie. He studies me closely but doesn’t say anything. He knows me well enough to pick up on the fact that I’m lying.
“Well, then, come on. Grab your coat, and let’s go eat.” I don’t want to say yes, but then again I also don’t want to spend the hour before my next client arrives sitting around feeling sorry for myself. I did that yesterday and the day before—and the day before that. The fact that Wesley hasn’t called me in three days bothers me more than I want to admit. I mean, I wouldn’t have answered if he had called, but he still should have called me. Then again, maybe the pregnancy is turning me into a crazy person.
“Are you coming?” Edward asks, snapping me back into the present.
“Fine.” I grab my coat and my purse, and we head across the street to the deli. After ordering sandwiches, we take them to a table at the back and sit across from each other at a high-top table.
“How are things with you and Wesley?” he asks as we start to eat.
I finish chewing and swallow before I answer, “Okay.” I’m intentionally vague because I don’t want to start myself crying.
“Just okay? You two looked pretty in love on New Year’s Eve. What happened since then?”
“We have both been busy. What’s going on with you?”
“Work. The housing market has picked back up, so I’m busy most days.”
“That’s a good thing, right?”
“I need to pay for a wedding, so yeah—it’s a good thing,” he says.
My stomach twists.
“Can I ask you something?”
“Ask away.” He takes an unconcerned drink from his soda and a bite from his sandwich.
“Why are you cheating on Bonnie?”
“I’m not.”
“I heard you on the phone that day in my office. You were meeting another woman for sex—unless that was how Bonnie and you role-play. Or unless I misunderstood the whole conversation.”
“It wasn’t Bonnie,” he says, balling up his napkin and tossing it into his empty sandwich basket.
“So you were talking to another woman?” I ask.
He nods.
“Why are you marrying Bonnie, then?”
“I love her.”
“Do you?” I whisper, feeling sad for them.
“We have an open relationship,” he says.
I blink at him. “Pardon?”
“Bonnie and I have an open relationship.”
“Do you mean you guys are swingers?”
“Yeah.” He runs his hand through his hair. “I love Bonnie, but I like other women, too. I just don’t feel the same about them as I do her,” he says.
I feel my lip curl up. I mean, to each their own, but there is no way I could live like that.
“Wow.”
“That’s why I never went there with you,” he says.
I sit back in my chair. “What?”
“I knew you wanted to be more than friends, but let’s be honest. You would never be okay with my lifestyle. So as much as I wanted to be with you, I knew I couldn’t go there with you.”
“Seriously?”
“I didn’t want to risk losing our friendship,” he says.
I shake my head. I can’t believe I’m hearing any of this.
“I was going to send Bonnie an anonymous note to tell her you were an asshole and that you were cheating on her,” I say.
He tosses his head back and laughs. “She would have gotten a kick out of that.”
“I bet.” I rub my hands over my face. I can’t believe this. I guess I can, but still. “Well, this lunch has been enlightening,” I say.
He smiles and stands up, and I do the same. Tossing my trash away, I walk him to the door, then back across the street to my office. I’m at a loss for words.
“Are we okay?” he asks, opening his arms to me.
I roll my eyes at him. “Yeah, we are okay.”
“Good.” He hugs me tighter before letting me go. “Also, if you and Wesley ever do decide that you want to try out a different lifestyle, let me know. Bonnie is a little crazy about your man, and I wouldn’t mind—”
“Never going to fucking happen.”
My heart drops into my stomach when the voice I love so much cracks through my office.
I spin around to face Wesley. Wesley, who looks a little scary and a whole lot handsome standing in my doorway.
“You will never, ever touch her.” He glares at Edward before looking at me and softening his expression and tone. “Right, gorgeous?”
“Ugh . . .” I blink. “Right.” I swallow.
“I figured that,” Edward says.
I look at him just in time to catch the goofy smile he’s wearing.
“I’ll see you around. Maybe the four of us can do dinner sometime.”
“Probably not,” Wesley mutters at the same time I say, “Maybe.”
I shrug, ignoring Wesley and his bristling. Edward kisses my cheek.
“We’ll talk soon,” he says. He looks at Wesley. “See you around, man.”
“Hmm,” Wesley grunts in response, watching Edward go.
Pulling my eyes from him, I wrap my arms around myself and take a few deep breaths before turning to look at him.
“What are you doing here?”
“I came to talk to you,” he says, studying me from head to toe like he’s memorizing every inch of me.
“About what?” I ask, not willing to get my hopes up.
“About everything.”
“Everything?” I narrow my eyes, and he tucks his hands into the front pocket of his jeans. The move makes him look like a scared little kid.
“I messed up.”
“I know,” I agree.
There is no sense in coddling him—he did mess up. But then again, maybe we both messed up. He should have talked to me, and I shouldn’t have run off because I was afraid.
Looking around my office, he shakes his head. “Are you busy now?”
“I have a client coming in soon, but it’s my last one of the day.”
“Will you come over to my place tonight so we can talk?” he asks.
I swallow over the lump forming in my throat.
“I don’t know if your place is the best place for us to talk. We tend to end up in bed whenever we’re there,” I tell him quietly.
I see him clench his jaw.
“Right.” He runs a hand roughly through his hair. “I’ll meet you wherever you want to meet.”
“There’s a frozen-yogurt place across the street. How about we meet there in two hours?” I say.
Relief fills his eyes and his body relaxes.
“That’s fine with me,” he agrees, taking a step toward me.
My whole body goes on alert. I know the minute he touches me, I’m done for, so I can’t let him touch me until we’ve talked and have gotten things sorted out.
“I miss you.” The words sound pained, and it takes all my willpower not to go to him to soothe him—to soothe myself.
“Me too,” I croak as my throat fills with tears.
“I’ll see you soon, gorgeous.”
“Sure.” I watch him go. Closing my eyes, I pray that he’s ready to open up to me. I don’t know how much longer I can hold out.
WESLEY
As I wait on the sidewalk for Mackenzie to show up, my stomach fills with anxiety. The idea that she might not forgive me is something I can’t handle. Seeing her come across the street toward me, I soak in everything about her. Her hair is up like it normally is when she’s working; her face is clean of makeup, allowing her natural beauty to shine through; and she’s wearing a long jacket that covers her from neck to knee so I can’t see if her body has changed in the past week.
Jogging toward her, I meet her halfway across the street, then take her hand. “Hey.”
She smiles up at me, and all I can think is, God she’s so beautiful, and I have missed her so much.
With her hand in mine, we enter the frozen-yogurt shop. I wish it was farther away so I could keep my hold on her a little longer.
“Do you want to get some yogurt?” she asks me as she gets herself a big cup.
I shake my head. I just want to watch her. “I might have some of yours.”
“No,” she says bluntly as she pulls down the lever for chocolate. “I have been craving this for the last couple days. If you try to take any from my container, I might attack you,” she says, making me smile.
“Are the cravings that bad?”
“This was the first time I’ve had one,” she says softly.
Once again, I curse myself for having missed out on time with her.
“Have you had any other symptoms?” I ask, trying to remember what the book I got said happens in the first couple of months.
“I’ve had morning sickness, and heartburn so bad that I might have to buy stock in Tums,” she says.
Every word makes me feel like shit. I should have been there to take care of her through this. Instead, I’ve been . . .
“Stop.” Her hand presses into my chest, cutting off my wayward thoughts.
I drop my eyes to hers.
“Please stop.”
Her words are soft, and I swear she knows where my mind is taking me.
“I’m sorry I wasn’t there.”
“Me too,” she says quietly, finishing up her serving and heading toward the cashier. I pull out my card to pay—noticing that the frozen yogurt is overflowing the container—then lead her to the back of the store, where there is no one around.
“What did you want to talk to me about?” she asks.
I can see the doubt in her eyes. I can tell she doesn’t think I will open up to her.
“My best friend from childhood was also my partner back in Seattle,” I tell her.
The spoon in her hand pauses an inch from her mouth.
“We had so many plans for the future. Then, one day, that was all taken from me.”
“What happened?” she asks.
I close my eyes, remembering the day like it was yesterday.
“We were on a routine drug bust. After we got into the house and had already made our arrest, we started collecting evidence. Suddenly, gunshots started going off. We all dropped, not knowing that we were setting ourselves up for disaster. None of my team realized that the shots were being fired from a man hiding in the attic—until it was too late. I took three bullets to the shoulder, but not before seeing Dustin take a bullet to the head. He died right in front of me,” I say.
Tears fill her eyes.
“I blamed myself for his death. I had always protected him, but I didn’t protect him when it really mattered.”
“It wasn’t your fault.” She wipes her eyes.
“I know.” I gasp in anticipation as she stands up from her chair.
She slides into my lap—where she belongs, and where she will always belong.
“I should have opened up to you, gorgeous. You were right. I should have talked to you. I should have trusted you with everything. I was afraid you would think I was weak and a coward because that’s what I have been telling myself I am for so long.”
“You’re the strongest guy I know. You could never be weak.” She rests her lips against mine. “I’m so sorry for leaving. I shouldn’t have left.”
“I’m not.” I kiss her because I can, because I’ve missed being able to kiss her when I want. “I wouldn’t have dealt with my issues if you hadn’t left. I would have continued to ignore it all, like I had been doing.” I push her hair back out of her face. “Because of you, I finally got the closure I needed. And I finally heard what Dustin’s parents have been trying to tell me for a long time.”
“I’m glad you got that,” she says, running her fingers up my jaw and into my hair. “I love you. You know that, right?” she asks.
I press my forehead to hers, wondering how the hell I came to deserve her.
“I know. I don’t know why the fuck you love me, but I’m glad you do.”
“I love you because you love me just the way I am. I love you because you make me feel special, because you make me laugh, you make my soul happy . . . and because you give me really great orgasms.”
She says the last bit quietly, and I smile.
“I do, don’t I?” I say smugly.
She laughs. “Yeah, you do.” She shifts her fingers through my hair once again, studying me.
“Are we okay?”
“Yes.” She kisses my cheek. “Now let me finish my yogurt.”
She gets off my lap and takes a seat across from me.
“What was that whole thing with Edward about?” I ask.
She drops her spoon and covers her face, cracking up. Eventually she pulls herself together enough to tell me. When she does, I’m the one who can’t stop laughing.
“Oh my god. Hurry.” Mackenzie jumps up and down at my side as I put the key in the lock.
“It’s hard to focus when your tits are bouncing around like that,” I say. She smacks my chest and laughs. “There you go.”
I open the door, and she runs into my apartment ahead of me, straight for the bathroom. Shutting the door, I drop my keys and the pizza on the table. I take off my jacket and hang it on the back of a chair.
When she comes out of the bathroom, she freezes in place and then swings her head around the living room.
“You unpacked.”
“I did.”
She does a circuit around the living room, looking at the photos and all the stuff that is now out and on display.
“You two looked like you were troublemakers,” she whispers, stopping in front of one of the pictures of Dustin and me. In the photo, we’re playing cards with a few other guys—unbeknownst to them, the two of us were cheating everyone else at the table and winning.
“We were trouble.” I laugh.
“I think I would have liked him. He had kind eyes,” she says.
My eyes burn with unshed tears.
“You would have liked him, but he would have liked you more. He loved women—all women,” I say. She laughs, turning to look at me over her shoulder.
“Thank you for sharing him with me.”
Her words hit me in the chest and gut at the same time, making it almost impossible to breathe. I should have told her about him a long time ago. I should have known that she would help me heal. If anyone could, I should have known it would be her.
“You’re welcome, gorgeous.” I take her hand and pull her toward me. “I went and talked to your dad.”
“You went and talked to my dad?” she repeats, looking nervous. “Why?”
“Because I respect him. Because I wanted his opinion on what to do about you.”
“Okay. Was everything okay? What did he tell you?” she asks, biting her bottom lip.
“It was fine.” I tuck a piece of hair behind her ear. “He told me to trust you.”
“To trust me?” She frowns, looking confused.
“He told me to trust you to heal me. I should have known that you would do that without having to have him tell me,” I say.
Her eyes soften, then narrow.
“What are you not telling me about your meeting?”
“I told him that you are pregnant,” I admit.
Her eyes get wide. “You told my dad I was pregnant?” she whispers, looking stunned.
“I did.”
“Oh my god.” She hits my chest with the palms of her hands. “My mom is going to freak out that I didn’t tell her.”
“It will be okay,” I say. She raises a brow, and I shrug. “Maybe he hasn’t told her yet.”
“Maybe.” She nibbles her bottom lip, then looks at the clock. It’s already after nine.
After we left the yogurt shop, we made a couple of stops before we came back to my place. We stopped to get her some clothes, then we stopped at Tony’s so that she could tell Libby she was staying with me. When we got to the pizza parlor, we found Libby behind the counter, taking orders from customers and bossing a group of men around in the kitchen. Not that any of them noticed that they were being bossed around by her—they all seemed to love the attention. This seemed to annoy the shit out of Antonio, who was mostly glowering in Libby’s direction.
“Maybe you’re right. Maybe he didn’t tell her,” she says, bringing me out of my thoughts.
I gather her close.
“He probably didn’t tell her. I think she would have called when she found out.”
I slide my hand up the back of her shirt, then around to her stomach. Feeling a small bump there, I take a step back and lift up her top to get a better look.
“When did this happen?”
“Two days ago. I woke up, and it was like that,” she says.
I lead her into the bedroom and take off her shirt before I lay her down on the bed to get a better look. To see if I’m imagining things.
“Holy shit,” I mutter, getting onto the bed.
She moves my hand so it’s resting on our growing child.
“I know.” She runs her fingers through my hair.
I look up at her, then place a kiss on her stomach. Her eyes get dark.
“Wesley.”
“Yeah?” I pull her pants down over her hips, then toss them to the floor behind me. This leaves her in a sheer bra and matching panties that barely cover anything. Removing her panties, I toss them to the floor and then open her legs. Sliding my fingers between the lips of her pussy, I place my mouth against hers as my fingers begin to slowly circle her clit. I slide them down over her entrance, and her hips begin to move with my hand. She’s so wet that my fingers slide over her with no resistance. “Did you miss me?” I slide two fingers deep inside her.
“Yes,” she whimpers. I begin to move my fingers faster, and her pussy gets tighter. I know she is going to come, but I miss her taste so I pull my fingers out of her.
“I’ll give them back to you in a second,” I say when she looks at me as I get off the bed and get undressed.
Her eyes lock on my cock, and I swear it grows under her gaze. “Do you want this?” I wrap my fist around it, pumping two times.
“Yes,” she whimpers again as I climb back on the bed and move between her legs.
After kissing her mouth, I move my way down her body. I kiss each of her nipples, licking, sucking, and biting them. The noises she’s making and her nails digging into my hair egg me on once I have given both breasts the same treatment. I kiss down her stomach, licking around her belly button before lowering myself and lifting one of her legs up and over my shoulder. I sit back so I can watch my fingers enter her in smooth strokes, then start fucking her harder with two fingers before lowering my face and licking right up her center, pulling her clit into my mouth.
The heel of her foot digs into my shoulder, and her pussy clamps down on my fingers right before her body goes completely limp. Kissing her clit one last time, I wipe my chin on her inner thigh. I kiss my way up her stomach and slide into her, resting my forehead against her collarbone as her pussy spasms.
“I’ve missed you so much.” She wraps her limbs around me, holding me close.
I drop my forehead to hers.
“Fuck, gorgeous, I’ve missed you, too. You feel so good,” I tell her, raising my head above hers. “So fucking good.”
I move slowly, our bodies sliding against each other easily. Her legs lift and wrap tight around my ass, pulling me deeper. So deep that I bump her cervix.
“Oh god,” she cries as her nails dig into my back.
“I feel it, gorgeous. Fuck, you are squeezing me so tight. Fuck!” I growl, planting myself balls-deep inside her as her orgasm pulls me over the edge. She sucks every last drop of cum from me. Rolling to my back with her in my arms and my cock still buried inside her, I pull the covers up from the bottom of the bed and toss them over us.
Listening to her breathing even out while my hand runs over her hair, I eventually follow her off to sleep.
MAC
A pounding noise coming from somewhere wakes me. I squint one eye open, then the other. “What is that?” I ask Wesley.
He sits up, turning on the side lamp and casting the room in soft light.
“Someone is at the front door.” He gets out of bed and puts on a pair of sweats, looking ready to murder whoever it is.
“What time is it?” I ask, unable to see the clock from my side of the bed.
“Six thirty.” He picks up a baseball bat from beside the bed on his way out of the room.
“Six thirty?” I repeat, shaking my head.
“You got my daughter pregnant!”
I shoot out of bed when I hear my mom’s voice shrieking.
“I can’t believe you didn’t tell me about this! I can’t believe I had to find out from Mackenzie’s father that you two are expecting my first grandchild!” she continues loudly as I stumble around.
Rummaging across the floor, I search for something to wear. Finding a pair of Wesley’s sweats and one of his long-sleeve shirts, I put both on quickly, then rush out into the living room.
Mom is standing there, looking like a madwoman. She has curlers in her hair, oversize glasses on the end of her nose, and she’s wearing a pink, fluffy bathrobe that has seen better days—those days being when my sisters and I bought it for her, when we were little.
“Mom, what the hell?” I blurt.
She looks at me. “You didn’t think to tell me that you’re pregnant with my grandchild?” She crosses her arms over her chest and hitches out one hip. She starts tapping her foot.
“We were waiting to tell everyone,” I say, feeling like I did when I was a kid and she would get mad at me for misbehaving.
“Wesley told your dad.” She points accusingly at Wesley, who is standing shirtless in the kitchen drinking a glass of water like he doesn’t have a care in the world, like this situation is normal and happens every day. “That is not you waiting to tell everyone.”
“I know.” I look at Wesley and narrow my eyes at him.
He shrugs as if to say, “What am I supposed to do?”
“This is all your fault,” I mouth.
He smiles back, mouthing, “Love you.”
“Where is Dad?” I ask Mom. I honestly expected him to follow her dramatic burst into the apartment.
“He’s in the car. He didn’t want to search for parking or double-park in case a cop drives by.” She waves off my question.
“You could have called. You didn’t have to come all the way into the city.”
I sigh and run a hand through my hair. Not that her coming into the city surprises me. I knew as soon as Wesley told me that he told my dad that it wouldn’t be long before my mom found out. I should have called her last night and told her the news myself. We could have avoided all this drama.
“And have you avoid my call? No way.” She shakes her head. “You and your sisters are going to be the death of me. First Fawn runs off and gets married on New Year’s in Vegas just to avoid planning a wedding. And now you don’t tell me that you’re pregnant, but your boyfriend tells your dad. And then Libby . . .”
“Libby?” I say, wondering what the hell Libby could have done.
“Yes, Libby bought a pizza restaurant. Did she tell me about it?” she asks, then shakes her head. “No, she told your dad and had him help her get the loan.”
I blink.
“Did you just say that Libby bought a pizza place?”
“I did.”
“Oh my god. She didn’t tell me,” I whisper. I knew that she had been working at Tony’s a lot lately, but I had no idea she was going to buy it. She never even mentioned it being for sale.
“Well, how does it feel?” Mom asks like a little kid saying neener, neener, neener.
I shake my head at her. It doesn’t feel good, but it’s not the same thing. Libby is my sister, not my mom. Then again, Libby did tell me that she was going to stop sharing things in her life because Fawn and I had been closed off about what was going on in our lives. We kinda deserved this, but that doesn’t change the fact that I will kick her ass for not telling me.
“Mom . . . ,” I say.
She looks at me.
“Wesley and I are pregnant. Right now, your grandchild is about nine weeks old and doing awesome,” I say.
She covers her mouth, and tears fill her eyes.
“Oh, Mom.” I go to her and wrap my arms around her shoulders. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. I didn’t plan on telling anyone yet. They say you should wait until you are twelve weeks along,” I say.
Wesley makes a noise, so I look at him. “What?”
“Nothing.”
I know he’s lying—I can tell by the look in his eyes.
“What did you do?” I ask in a huff.
“I told my mom and Levi,” he admits, looking sheepish.
“What?” I can’t believe that he’s already been telling people.
“I didn’t know that we were supposed to wait until twelve weeks. In my defense, you never told me that,” he says. I close my eyes and lean my head back to look at the ceiling.
“You know what? Whatever. It doesn’t matter.” I rest my head on my mom’s shoulder and ask, “Are you happy, Mom?”
Forcing me away from her, she looks me in my eyes. “All I have ever wanted for you girls is happiness. Seeing you each get that in your own ways makes me more than happy,” she says softly.
Now it’s time for my eyes to fill with tears.
“I’m so happy for you. I’m so happy that you found your own happiness.”
“Thank you, Mom.” I wipe my eyes. “I love you.”
“I love you, too, honey.” She kisses her fingers and places them against my lips.
“Even though you are crazy, you are the best mom a girl could ever ask for.” I pull her in for one more hug before letting her go. “Now go home before traffic backs up and people going to work are stuck looking at your crazy morning getup.”
“I was in a rush to get here.” She pats her head, and I laugh.
“I can tell,” I say.
She smacks my shoulder. “Love you,” she murmurs. She looks at Wesley. “Come give me a hug,” she commands him.
He comes across the room and wraps her in his arms. She gives a thumbs-up in my direction. Hugging Wesley shirtless is definitely worth a thumbs-up, so I get it. “All right.” She looks between us after she lets him go. “I expect you two over for breakfast or dinner when you both have a day off.”
“We’ll set up a time soon.” I open the door for her. “Tell Dad I love him.”
She waves over her shoulder as she heads up the stairs. Watching her go, I shake my head. I’m sure a few people saw her on the sidewalk this morning, and I have no doubt that they all thought she was a crazy person.
“I like your mom,” Wesley says, wrapping his arms around me and leading me back into the bedroom.
“Do you?” I ask as he pulls his shirt off over my head.
“I do.”
He strips off my pants and his own, then helps me into the bed.
“Did you tell anyone else about the baby?” I ask.
His finger on my hip stops moving.
“I did,” he says.
I wait for a list of names, but he doesn’t continue.
“Who else did you tell?”
“Just a few guys from work.” He kisses the top of my head before settling me impossibly closer.
“You’re happy,” I whisper, realizing that he keeps telling everyone because he’s excited about becoming a dad.
“I’m so happy.” He tips my head back with two fingers under my chin so he can kiss me once more.
“I’m happy you’re happy.”
Kissing his pecs, I close my eyes and say a silent thank-you to whoever it is watching over us and our happily ever after.