Chapter Twenty-Six
Ruby’s surgery was a success, although Kyra found that hard to believe when her daughter came out of the recovery room with tubes coming out of her and half her head shaved. The surgeon had come to the waiting room where Kyra, Liz, and Josh were waiting and said, “We got it all.”
He said a lot more than that, but all Kyra could hear was that they got it all, and the results of the biopsy would be available within a few days.
She texted Dax at some point during that very long day: Surgery over. They got all of it.
A moment later, her phone pinged. Thank God. I want to come and see her. Okay?
Okay? It was more than okay. It was the best news Kyra had heard since we got it all. It filled her with happiness. And hope. And longing, such indescribable longing. Yes. Yes, yes, Kyra texted back.
I’ll be there Thursday.
Thursday! That was only a few days away. She wished she didn’t look so puffy with all the carbs she’d been stress eating, but it didn’t matter—Ruby would be so happy to see him. Maybe as happy as her mother, although Kyra doubted it.
Over the next few days, Ruby’s recovery from the surgery took a little longer than expected—there was an issue with an infection at the surgical wound, and for two days she was fevered and uncomfortable. Thankfully, she was on the mend now.
Kyra spent every day at the hospital, sleeping when Ruby slept. At night she went to work at a diner on the interstate. It was the only job she’d been able to find in a hurry, and it was one of the worst jobs she’d ever held. Her plan was to keep it until Ruby was out of the hospital and back in school, and then find something that did not require working the vampire shift.
In the meantime, she counted down the days and hours until she saw Dax again. She missed him so much, so deeply, that she couldn’t even think of words to tell herself how much. When she wasn’t thinking of Ruby, she was thinking of him, imagining him puttering around the cottages, Otto following him around. She was remembering the way he looked at her, and his slow, sexy smile. She felt hollow without him—she knew now what all the love songs were about when the lyrics talked of emptiness. Were it not for Ruby, Kyra thought her heart would be completely barren.
On the morning Dax was due to arrive, Kyra was a nervous wreck. She had finished her shift and was getting ready to leave work. She had just enough time to change out of her uniform and spruce up, best as she could, in anticipation of seeing Dax. But as she was removing her server’s apron, her manager, nineteen-year-old Tyler, told her she had to stay. “Maureen is late.”
Kyra panicked. “But I have to go, Tyler. You know my daughter’s in the hospital.” Plus, it was imperative that she have time to change out of that polyester, yellow waitress dress she had to wear. She could never launder the bacon smell from it, and it scratched at her skin. She didn’t want Dax to see her like this.
“You can’t leave me shorthanded,” Tyler said, looking just as panicked.
It was ten o’clock before Maureen deigned to show up. Kyra didn’t bother to change, but headed straight for the hospital. Now she was worried that Ruby would be awake and wondering where she was. Ruby hated the hospital—it scared her.
Kyra could have called Josh to be there when Ruby woke up, but his fatherly instincts had quickly worn off once they’d arrived in Indianapolis. Apparently the few attempts Josh had made to connect with Ruby had left him frustrated. He seemed to think Ruby ought to be very happy to know him.
Honestly, Ruby didn’t seem to like Josh much. Kyra had assumed when she told Ruby the truth about who Josh was that her daughter would be thrilled to finally know the man she’d wondered about all her life. Yet surprisingly, Ruby didn’t seem very interested in him. She didn’t sparkle when Josh was around like she’d sparkled in Dax’s company. She seemed to view Josh with suspicion, like she didn’t really believe he was her father.
Nevertheless, Kyra couldn’t complain. Josh was doing his part with the insurance and expenses . . . well, Liz was doing his part.
Liz worried about Josh’s relationship with Ruby. Liz worried about everything, thank God, or Kyra might have been fighting insurance issues all day. Liz did that for her. It was her way of helping, she said. Liz seemed like a genuinely good person to Kyra, and she thought that in another life, they could have been friends. Kyra now knew that Liz had discovered her text on Josh’s phone, and when she’d discovered the existence of Ruby, and the truth about her situation, she’d put aside her own disappointments and had thought only of a six-year-old girl out there who’d needed their help. Liz was devoted to making sure Ruby got what she needed—it was Liz who had figured out how to add Ruby to Josh’s insurance, Liz who had chased down the referral to their surgeon, and Liz who had taken care of everything when Kyra was too exhausted or focused on Ruby to do anything else.
“I wish Josh would try harder with Ruby, you know?” Liz had said to Kyra one day as they sat at the edge of the hospital bed while Ruby dozed.
“Ruby’s not exactly letting him in,” Kyra said. “I’m hoping she comes around.”
Kyra guessed that part of Ruby’s disdain for Josh was that she wanted Dax. She asked about him and Otto frequently. Kyra had finally figured out that even though Ruby had always wanted to know about her dad, Dax had come along and been that dad she’d been missing before she even knew Josh existed. Ruby didn’t want to lose Dax, and she didn’t want a different father figure. She didn’t care that Josh was partially responsible for her being on this earth—she wanted Dax.
Kyra understood exactly how Ruby felt—she hadn’t wanted to lose her mother, either, and when her father began to date again, she hadn’t wanted a substitute mom. She’d wanted her mother. She still wanted her mother.
Kyra still wanted Dax, too, and drove like a maniac to the hospital. She hurried down the hall, waving to the nurses who were so wonderful with her daughter. How she would ever adequately thank the people who had taken such care of Ruby, she had no idea.
Ruby’s room was at the end of the hall, and she could see Ruby sitting up in bed, alert and awake. She was talking to someone, and Kyra’s heart began to race. He was here already? She quickened her step, and just as she reached the door of the room, Ruby said, “Mommy! Look what Dax brought me!”
Her heart stilled at first, because he was there, he was really there, standing in her daughter’s hospital room like some storybook angel. He looked magnificent, and sexy, and Kyra’s heart began to swell and work again. She couldn’t draw a breath, much less speak, because her heart had leapt into overdrive and was beating so wildly that she was momentarily arrested.
Emotion scudded across his face, and his gaze locked on hers. He swallowed and said, in a rough, low voice, “Hi.”
Kyra dropped her bag in the doorway. “Hi,” she managed.
“Mommy, did you see?” Ruby asked, trying to lean over the bed.
Kyra tore her gaze away from Dax and looked down. A massive wooden house was at his feet.
“It’s for my Barbies!” Ruby said excitedly. “Five of them can live there. But not Ken. Dax said he had to live next door with his dog.”
Kyra lifted her gaze to Dax again, her heart beating like a high school drum line. “It’s . . . it’s so good to see you,” she said, wishing her voice wasn’t shaking as badly as it was.
He nodded. “Same here.”
“I wanted to change clothes,” she said self-consciously, running her hands over her uniform.
He shook his head. “You look beautiful,” he said, and his eyes seemed to mist. He opened his arms to her, and Kyra walked right into them. She closed her eyes and buried her face in his neck. She felt like she was falling into a white, fluffy cloud—she felt at peace in his arms. Safe and comforted. Loved. God, how she’d needed him these last few weeks, had needed his strength and calm to wrap around her and hold her when no one else would.
“You smell like bacon,” he said.
She laughed, then lifted her head and kissed him. She kissed him right on the mouth with all the longing she’d felt for him. His arms wrapped tighter around her, his fingers sank into her hair . . .
“Mommy!” Ruby complained.
Dax slowly let her go, his hands lingering on her waist a moment.
He talked to Ruby for a while until the nurse came around to change her sheets and pajamas. Kyra and Dax went to the cafeteria and sat across from each other in a plastic booth with two coffees that smelled burned and that neither of them touched. She asked about Jonathan and smiled with delight at the latest pictures of him. Dax told her he was thinking of getting a place in Teaneck to be closer to his son.
“Oh,” she said. “Wow. That’s . . . that’s news.”
He shrugged. “It’s not that far from East Beach. I found a place that could function as a workshop.”
His life, she realized, was moving on. Without her. Just like hers was moving on without him. The realization staggered her, and she helplessly swallowed down a lump of regret and sorrow. “Really? When?”
“I don’t know,” he said. “I’m not even sure if . . .” He seemed to rethink what he was going to say and suddenly reached across the table for her hand, took it in his, and held it tightly. “I have . . . God, I’ve missed you so much, Kyra,” he said, his voice breaking a little.
“Oh.” She gripped his hand. “I’ve missed you, too, Dax. I can’t tell you how much I’ve missed you. And so has Ruby—she talks about you and Otto all the time.”
He smiled. “She seems good.”
“She’s so good,” Kyra said. “She’s getting stronger every day. I really believe she’s going to be okay. I mean, I still don’t know the results of the biopsy, and they will monitor her for a while, but for so long I kept thinking it was my mother all over again. I don’t think so now, and I feel more optimistic than I have yet. And you know what else? Not one seizure since the surgery.”
“That’s fantastic,” he said. His eyes were roaming over her face, lingering on her mouth, on her hairline. It felt almost as if he’d forgotten the small details of her. “I’ve thought so much about her,” he said, and his gaze settled on Kyra’s eyes. “I’ve thought so much about you. I’ve thought about all the things I said, and mostly the things I didn’t say . . .” He glanced down at the table a moment. “There is something I never told you, Kyra.”
She panicked for a moment. “Oh God . . . what is it?”
“I love you,” he said.
Kyra gasped softly. She wasn’t expecting him to say that. Those three little words seized her, grabbing her up and holding her aloft for a moment before settling into her tissues.
“I should have told you in East Beach, but I . . .” He paused, shoved a hand through his hair. “I guess I’m a little rusty. And maybe a coward. But I love you.”
She couldn’t yet speak. The admission was wending its way around her heart, wrapping it slowly.
He gave her a lopsided, rueful smile. “Aren’t you going to say something?”
She nodded. “I’m trying. But you’ve snatched the breath from my lungs, and my heart is beating like a jackhammer, and I can’t even put words to how happy that makes me.”
His smile deepened. “I’ll take it. I know I’m a day late with it, but I thought you ought to know. I thought I ought to tell you that if I had to do it all over again, I wouldn’t change a single thing. Except maybe letting you leave.”
“I wouldn’t change a moment of it, either,” she said and swallowed, trying to take the nerves from her voice. She squeezed his hand. “I never would have left if I hadn’t been forced to go. You know that, right?”
“But that’s the thing, babe. You didn’t have to go. Yeah, I said so at the time, but I’ve thought a lot about it. A lot. I’ve wanted to pick up that phone a thousand times just to hear your voice, but I wouldn’t let myself. Because I needed to know if what I was feeling was real enough and strong enough to walk out on this limb.”
“What limb?” she asked, confused now.
“I want to marry you,” he said. “Not because of insurance, but because I love you.” He leaned across the table, his gaze on hers. “I am crazy, over-the-moon in love with you. As insane as it is to want to marry someone after only a couple of months, I want to do it.”
Kyra was dumbfounded. She didn’t know what to say—she couldn’t even think, she was so surprised and shocked. His admission was something she’d longed to hear but had assumed she had no right. She had yearned for him to feel this way about her but had convinced herself she’d ruined any chance at it. To hear it now was overwhelming. She needed to absorb it for a moment.
“You’re not saying anything again,” he said, a little nervously.
All Kyra knew was how much she loved this man, with all her heart, with every bit of her being, and how much she missed him and needed him. But marriage? She couldn’t even grasp the idea of it.
“Do you still love me?” he asked.
She groaned. “My God, how I love you, Dax. More than anything, can’t you tell? But I don’t know what to say. Ruby is . . . this is not—”
“Hey, no one’s proposing here,” he said quickly.
“You just said—”
“I said I want to marry you. But I didn’t ask you, did I? I’m not going to propose to you now, Kyra. Because I don’t want you to think I’m proposing because I feel sorry for you and the coconut. I don’t feel sorry for you, I feel great about you two. I’m just going to wait for the right moment, when you come back to East Beach.”
Kyra was stunned. She felt almost on the verge of hysterical laughter. Happy, frantic laughter. This man loved her, and she was not expecting it, and she was feeling glittery and warm inside. And yet there were so many questions. She didn’t even know if Ruby’s tumor was benign, if she would recover completely. And her care team was here. Not in East Beach. “I don’t yet know—”
“Nope,” he said and held up his hand. “Don’t say anything. I just told you, this is not a proposal. All I’m saying is that I’m going to propose to you. But I’ll wait as long as it takes.”
She grabbed his hands with both of hers. “Dax! You’re not making sense.”
“Yes, I am. Listen to me, Kyra—I’m going to wait for you at East Beach. And if you decide you don’t want to or can’t come back there, then so be it. I’m a grown man, I will understand. But at least I’ll know I didn’t let you go without telling you how much . . . how much I love you,” he said, his voice breaking again. “And how much I want to spend my life with you and the coconut. And Jonathan. And whoever else comes along. But I’m putting the ball in your court, babe.”
“My God,” she said and shook her head with confusion. “No pressure there, right?”
He smiled a little. “Would you rather I kept that all to myself?”
Kyra snorted. “No,” she said. God, no. No matter what else happened to her and Ruby, she would always have this moment in this antiseptic cafeteria in Indianapolis, and she wouldn’t forget a moment of it. She wouldn’t forget how huge her heart felt right now, overflowing with love and affection and pride. “What you just said is the most beautiful nonproposal speech I’ve ever heard in my life, and I’ll never forget it,” she said, pressing her hand to her heart. “I feel it in my heart. I’ll keep it there forever. I love you, Dax. Even more, now,” she said with a sheepish smile. “But there are still a lot of unknowns about Ruby’s health. Even in the best-case scenario, there’s a lot of aftercare involved, and she has her doctors and the nursing team here, and she’s comfortable with them, and she needs to be closely monitored, and I can’t risk the excellent health care she is getting here.”
“I understand,” he said.
“Do you? Because I would get in your truck right this minute and go anywhere you wanted to go, and be whoever you wanted me to be. I would. But I can’t right now, and every waking moment has been about Ruby, and I’ve hardly had time to feed myself, much less think about the next day or the next.”
“I know,” he said sympathetically. “I get it. I honestly don’t want you to think about this now, okay? I just want you to know that the door is wide open,” he said and tapped his chest.
She’d already walked through it. He would take a piece of her with him today, because she was already in there. “You are the best thing that ever happened to us, do you know that?” she asked softly.
“I think I got the better end of the deal.” He slid out of the booth and held out his hand to her. “Let’s go see what the coconut is up to.”
Kyra slipped her hand into his and stood up. But before he could turn away, she caught his chin in her hand and pulled his face around. She rose up on her toes and kissed him softly, with all the love and tenderness she felt for him brimming out of her. Nothing had changed for her except that once she had loved this man beyond measure. Now she loved him beyond reason.
But she didn’t know when, if ever, she could return to East Beach.