Candlelight flickered across the pages of Jonah’s open textbook. The words blurred and ran together in the shitty lighting. If he possessed a single ounce of sense, he would’ve told John no when the man invited him over tonight. He should’ve known no studying would occur. Almost three years ago, Jonah had met John on a website that connected sugar daddies with younger men. From their first date, they’d hit things off. Jonah was in a weird spot with the man now, a place where he didn’t want things to ever end, but he could never confess as much.

On his stomach and with his chin resting on his crossed arms, Jonah tried concentrating harder on his studies. A breeze skirted over the small of Jonah’s back as John pushed his shirt higher. Warm lips brushed the spot he bared.

“I thought you were helping me study. You know these tests determine whether I graduate. I’m already graduating a year later than I expected.” If he graduated at all, Jonah silently added.

A soft chuckle vibrated against his skin. Jonah’s eyes fell closed and his dick hardened at the sensation. A pant escaped him. Everything about John was amazing. He had such a giving and beautiful heart Jonah would’ve fallen for the man, even if he wasn’t the sexiest man on the planet, but John was that too. He was dark-haired with a touch of gray and large—like a muscular mountain. John was six feet and four inches of solid steel. Jonah was tall too, but not that tall, and he was skinny. John made him feel protected in every way—like the world could never touch him. Even when the man acted like a two-year-old on crack, which happened quite often, Jonah loved him. It was his deepest secret.

“I’m helping,” John said, easing Jonah’s swim trunks lower, and baring part of Jonah’s ass. “What’s twenty-three plus forty-six?”

Jonah rolled his eyes at the childish question. “Sixty-nine.”

John’s teeth sank into his now bare ass cheek. “Exactly. Such an awesome number. See? I’m helping.”

“Except I’m studying Chemistry,” Jonah said, dropping his forehead on his crossed arms and sucking in a breath.

“That’s a good topic too. We have that. You’ll do great.”

Jonah wanted to argue, but he also wanted everything John did to him. On a massive steel-framed lounge built for three and covered in a thick mattress, Jonah had his books spread around him, doing his damnedest to hang on to his sanity. The waterfall running into the gorgeous swimming pool drowned out the world. The thick foliage and high fences kept them hidden from view. John had gone out his way to make the setting romantic. He always treated Jonah like it was okay for Jonah to let everything go because John would always take care of him. The problem was, they were a contract, not a couple. Jonah needed a real education to get a real job, so when John got bored with him, he’d be okay. A shot of pain hit Jonah in the chest at the thought. His shorts tugged lower, stealing away everything but the sensation of John’s lips on his skin.

“Keep studying,” John said, even as he stripped Jonah bare. “I want your eyes on the page.”

Each breath Jonah took came harder than the last as he tried to do as John demanded. His gaze moved back to the chemistry book, but he saw nothing.

“On your knees.”

Jonah got his knees beneath him while he stared at his book. His entire focus locked on John’s every move. John’s lips and teeth explored each of Jonah’s cheeks. His thumb skimmed Jonah’s asshole. Jonah dropped his forehead to his forearm again. A stinging slap landed on his ass. “You’re studying. Get back to it.”

Jonah went back to staring at the open book while seeing nothing. John’s lips caressed the spot he’d smacked, kissing away the sting. He fingered Jonah’s asshole. Jonah’s dick leaked onto the lounge. Then John’s tongue replaced his fingers. Jonah fought the urge to drop his head again. The light brush of the man’s tongue circling his asshole was making Jonah insane. More pre-cum dripped from his cock. He was so turned on, he couldn’t think. John didn’t let up. He licked and probed until Jonah writhed, wanting more. John massaged Jonah’s balls and dick, bringing him closer to the edge. Jonah didn’t dare move his eyes from the book. He didn’t want John to stop.

John shifted onto his knees. Jonah held his breath. He barely heard the crinkle of the condom wrapper. Cool liquid swiped across his asshole before something hard pressed against it. He was beyond fucking ready for John to fuck him hard. Everything about John was massive. They never had sex without tons of foreplay. The first time he’d seen John’s dick had been a big nope moment for Jonah. He’d been certain he couldn’t take it. Now John always made him want to beg for it.

John pushed his way inside, stretching Jonah wide. A gasp tore for Jonah’s lips as a moan fell from John’s. Jonah’s dick pumped out pre-cum like it was painting the cushion beneath them. John adjusted angles and rocked forward. Damn, he always fucked Jonah perfectly, hitting the right spot.

“You’re so goddamn sexy. All I want to do is be inside this ass all the time. Everything about you is perfect.”

Jonah couldn’t take it. He reached between his legs and tugged his cock. “Damn, John. Like that. Don’t stop,” Jonah begged as John continued massaging Jonah’s insides at the perfect angle with his dick. He squeezed his eyes shut and focused on the building pressure. His hips moved in time with John’s thrusts. They were perfect together. Three years had done nothing but give them all the practice they needed to learn how to please each other without thought. It was like they’d been made for each other.

John’s fingers dug into his skin, proving how close he was getting. “Fuck. Jesus. Come for me, Jonah. You feel too good. I can’t hold back.”

Jonah pumped at his cock, pulling and stroking, driving closer to oblivion. The pressure climbed and built, combining with the way John filled him and pleased him. His lungs seized. Everything went quiet. Lights popped behind his closed lids like fireworks as the pressure turned into ecstasy. His entire body jerked as his orgasm hit. He kept tugging at his dick, needing every spasm.

“Holy shit,” John cried, stiffening and letting Jonah’s orgasm milk his cock into giving up his explosion—like he always did. Jonah knew him. Knew his body. He cried out in pleasure, filling Jonah with pride. John collapsed, rolling to the side at the last second, sparing Jonah most of his weight. He squeezed Jonah against his chest. His ragged breaths caressed the shell of Jonah’s ear. “You’re like the other half of me.”

Jonah’s eyes fell closed at John’s words. His throat swelled. It was as close to I love you that he’d ever get, and the words always stabbed Jonah through the heart. He was so fucking in love with John, it choked him. Jonah had to swallow it down. They’d never be that couple. Jonah was arm candy until John traded him in for a newer model—like a car. Except the car had feelings and Jonah’s heart broke every time he thought about it. The worst part of the whole thing was—if John lost everything tomorrow, Jonah would still want him, and it mattered not at all to anyone but him.

Minutes passed. Jonah made no attempt to move away. John’s steady heartbeat caressed Jonah’s ear. He pressed closer to the sound, soaking up John’s warmth.

John stroked his hair and kissed his temple. “By the way, David Baker is having a grand opening event tomorrow at noon. You know the deal—bad conversation and even worse champagne. I’ll pick you up at eleven thirty.”

An exasperated chuckle rose in Jonah’s throat. Even to his ears, it sounded tired as it fell from his lips. “Baby, why have I been trying to study all night? I have a test tomorrow.” Jonah shifted to his knees and straddled John’s hips. He kissed John’s chest. His eyes flipped up, meeting John’s sexy green gaze. “As much as I would love to go, I can’t miss my exam.”

“It’s fine,” John said, sounding petulant and making Jonah smile. “I’ll jump on the sugar daddy website later and hire someone to go with me. It’s not a big deal.”

Ouch. Jonah kept his lips pressed to John’s chest, hoping to hide his wince. It wasn’t like he could complain. This wasn’t a real relationship. The pains in his chest didn’t matter. John wasn’t his. The man was free to do whatever and whoever he wanted. That didn’t stop it from cutting Jonah to the bone. “I can see you afterward, if you’re not too worn out from an even younger man.” Jonah tried infusing as much humor as he could into the claim. He’d be damned if John saw how much it hurt.

John’s fingers swiped through his hair. “You’re my favorite everything. You know that. Just text me when you’re free and I’ll pick you up.” John’s massive arms encircled Jonah and squeezed. “Ugh. I miss you already. You’re supposed to be all about me.”

Jonah’s throat swelled. He wished John’s words meant more and came from the heart. All he could do was continue kissing John’s chest. This was all he had of his giant lover. It had to be enough. Fuck studying. He wanted every second of John he could get.