Jonah never would’ve believed a knock on his front door could instill so much suspicion in him. He creeped toward the door, wishing he had a baseball bat or anything. There was no one who would come see him any longer. He opened the door a crack. Happiness exploded through him and Jonah threw the door wide.

“Driver!”

While wearing a bright smile, Driver pulled open the screen door and led his dog Sam inside. Driver had lived across the street from Jonah for months before marrying the only person to ever steal his heart. Jonah was happy for him, but he also missed Driver like crazy.

“Hey, babe. We had to come check on the house since we have a tenant moving in at the end of the week. Sam saw your house and went crazy. There was no way he was leaving without seeing you.”

“I’m so glad you made Daddy stay long enough to see me. I’ve missed you both so much.” He gave Sam a huge hug before letting him run free through the house. “Where’s Cortland?” Jonah asked as he came to his feet.

“He had to…” Driver’s gaze moved over Jonah’s shoulder. “Go put that back.”

Jonah turned to find Sam dragging Cricket’s doggie bed into the living room. “Oh, buddy. I’m sorry.” Jonah moved to retrieve the large weighted pillow Cricket had used as a bed from Sam. He rubbed the dog’s head as he tossed the pillow back into the kitchen. “Cricket is gone, baby.” His voice cracked. He swallowed, but no more words would come. Even Jonah realized he looked like he was drowning on dry land.

Driver moved closer. “What happened?”

Jonah swallowed again. He kept his gaze averted until the burning behind his eyes and nose subsided. “The vet said pancreatitis. A clot formed and went to his brain before anyone could do anything.”

To his surprise, Driver rubbed his back. “I’m so sorry. You should’ve called. Cortland and I would’ve been here in a heartbeat.” The large former soldier had a lot of dark points. Jonah understood that Driver had some mental problems, but he’d always really liked Driver. Since meeting the man’s husband, Cortland, Jonah had found another good friend.

“I’m just, you know…” Jonah waved his hands, searching for a way to explain. “I guess I’m just private, or maybe I think I over burden people. Hell, I don’t know. It’s like, no one likes a negative person and people already don’t like me for me, so I suffer in silence,” Jonah finished lamely. He didn’t know how to explain how he felt like no one cared enough to be bothered with him.

“Pack a bag and come home with us.”

A smile briefly passed over Jonah’s lips at the offer. “I can’t. I accepted a date for tonight that I can’t afford to miss. Cricket’s final vet bill and expenses crippled me.”

Driver swiped his hand through the air. “Wait. I can’t believe John didn’t pay for all that. He’s never hesitated to cover things in the past. I mean, I would think you’d have to stop him from building a freaking monument in Cricket’s honor in the front yard.”

Despite the pains in his chest, a chuckle fell from Jonah’s lips. He could see John doing exactly that. “John is gone too.” Jonah’s gaze hit the floor as the confession landed. He cleared his throat. “Um, I guess he got tired of me.”

“Wow. I…” Driver blinked. He looked like words failed him.

A smile he didn’t feel touched Jonah’s lips. He turned away and went down on his haunches to love on Sam. “It’s okay.” Even to Jonah’s ears, the claim sounded like a lie. “This date tonight pays enough to last me a couple of weeks. Hopefully, I’ll find a job before the money runs out. It’s just, whatever, right?” The gigantic German shepherd, golden retriever mix did his best to hug Jonah back, eating up all the attention. Jonah kissed the dog’s head. “Maybe I’ll just give up on people.”

“Don’t go tonight,” Driver burst out, taking Jonah by surprise with the worry lacing every word. “Pack a bag and come home with us. No one can spend five minutes in Wyld’s company without smiling. Cortland and I will pay for Cricket’s final expenses. Anything could happen to you with a stranger.”

The obvious concern in Driver’s voice warmed Jonah’s heart, but Jonah had to take care of himself. He had to stop letting everyone else carry him because—eventually—everyone else left. “I love you for offering, but I don’t want to spend the night as the fifth wheel. I don’t think I can swallow anyone else’s happiness right now. No offense.”

Driver’s intense blue gaze screamed worry, but he nodded. “I understand. At least keep your phone handy so you can call me if you feel uncomfortable.”

Jonah sat and let the huge dog crawl into his lap. “I will,” he promised. “This is just something I have to do, but I do appreciate your friendship.” He did. Jonah recognized he was lucky to have someone like Driver he could call. But he wouldn’t. Even if he ended up on a date with the devil himself, Jonah already knew he wouldn’t ask for help. He simply didn’t know how to reach for any life preserver. Jonah imagined, someday soon, life would finally drown him, and he would float away.

The bad feeling in Jonah’s gut wouldn’t subside. From the moment Jonah answered the door, he wished he hadn’t accepted this gig. His date for the black-tie event was probably fifty and balding. His looks had nothing to do with Jonah’s discomfort. It was the way Wayne looked at him—like sizing up cattle. Cattle he planned to fuck. That wasn’t happening.

On the way to the car, Wayne hit strike two in Jonah’s books. “Your house is inconveniently located. Next time, I’ll have you meet me.”

Jonah flashed Wayne a sweet smile while mentally flipping him the bird. The guy was insane if he thought there’d be a next time.

“At least you know how to dress.”

There was that. His tux was one of John’s many purchases for Jonah. It cost more than Wayne’s car, which wasn’t that great for such a pompous ass.

“I assume, since you’re dressed appropriately, that you’ve attended events like this one.”

“Yes.” Jonah kept his voice bland but polite. All he wanted was to make it through the night. “In fact, I attended this event last year.”

Wayne’s head whipped around. “I don’t want people knowing I’ve paid you to accompany me.”

“They won’t,” Jonah assured him. “I said I’ve been. Not that I was paid to attend. You have nothing to worry about.”

Wayne’s hackles lowered. “Oh. Okay. That’s good.” Wayne set his hand on Jonah’s knee. All the alarm bells clanged. They were in a car. Wayne didn’t have to go where he claimed they were headed. For a moment, Jonah floundered before finally deciding to leave it. As long as it didn’t go higher, and the man didn’t make any unexpected stops, he’d ignore the touching for now.

By the time they made it to the hotel hosting the charity event, Jonah’s stomach was in knots. He was hyper aware of every breath he took and Wayne’s hand on his skin. Jonah worried his nerves would snap at any moment. He wasn’t used to being touched without his permission. Each breath he took felt like it came through a straw.

Jonah concentrated on his surroundings as they cleared the door. Wayne’s palm kept colliding with the small of Jonah’s back. His touch wasn’t comfortable. It was possessive. Jonah wished it would stop. With a bland smile in place, he eyed the gorgeous crystal light fixtures and admired the flower arrangements brought in for the event. Jonah concentrated on anything and everything that wasn’t Wayne.

“Jonah?”

Jonah spun at the sound of his name. The first genuine smile of the night pulled at the corners of his mouth. “Mr. Baker. It’s so good to see you.”

David held both hands out to Jonah. Jonah didn’t hesitate to accept. “Please, Jonah. How many times do I have to tell you? It’s just David.” He kissed Jonah’s cheek before releasing him. Jonah could feel Wayne’s displeasure at his back.

“One more time, I suppose.” Jonah always answered David the same because it made the man laugh. He’d always had a special fondness for David Baker. The man had kind eyes. They were a blue that reminded Jonah of the water in the Florida Keys. He was a hair older than John and graying at the temples. For some reason Jonah couldn’t explain, David always made him wish he had a dad like him.

“I’ve missed you the last few times I’ve seen John.”

Jonah fought the urge to wince. “I’ve been busy with school.”

“Don’t forget who you came here with,” Wayne said close to Jonah’s ear.

David’s eyes flashed with annoyance in Wayne’s direction. “Is there some reason you feel the need to interrupt us?”

Jonah bit the inside of his cheek to keep from smiling. Everyone respected David. He sat on every board and had a finger in every pie.

Wayne didn’t exactly bow under the pressure of David’s scathing stare, but he went away. “I need a drink,” he muttered, heading for the bar.

David shook his head as he watched Wayne go. “What was John thinking, leaving you alone in this crowd? There are so many blackguards waiting around every corner.”

Jonah couldn’t fight his smile a second longer. Who even said blackguard anymore? “I’m pretty good at taking care of myself.”

“But you shouldn’t have to,” David said, sounding one hundred percent honest. “There’s a big difference between John and the rest of the old perverts around here. He loves you. The rest of these men think they’re owed any man they want.” David added a sharp nod like he was the expert on the matter. Jonah tried breathing past the hurt. John didn’t love him. No one did, but it was kind of sweet that David believed. Sooner or later, he’d have to admit he’d been dumped. Right now, he didn’t have the heart.

Someone called David’s name. He flashed a blatantly false smile in that direction before focusing on Jonah once more. His smile turned genuine again. “The wolves have found me,” he said, sounding scandalized. “If I see John, I’ll be sure to send him to your side. We must make dinner plans.”

Jonah nodded. “Agreed.”

With a final wave, David headed in the opposite direction, leaving Jonah alone in the crowd. He tried taking a deep breath to calm his nerves. Hopefully, John wasn’t actually there. What a nightmare that would be. He shouldn’t have accepted this date. It was a mistake. A weight sat on his gut. Something bad would happen if he stayed, even if John wasn’t there. Wayne struck Jonah as mean while sober, and he’d gone to the bar. He cast a glance in that direction.

Wayne appeared from nowhere. “I brought you a glass of champagne.”

A glass that had been in Wayne’s possession long enough to slip anything inside. Jonah didn’t reach for it. “Thank you, but I don’t drink.”

Wayne’s smile tightened. “You’re about to start.”

Jonah hardened his voice. “No. I’m not.”

“I think you forget who owns you tonight.”

There it was, the ugliness he’d been waiting on. “Me. That’s who owns me. Have a great night,” Jonah said, giving Wayne a sharp nod. He made it two steps before Wayne grabbed his arm and squeezed—hard enough to leave bruises. “You’re not going anywhere. I’ve already paid your fee.”

Jonah spun and went flush against Wayne, hiding his actions from the room. He grabbed Wayne by the balls and squeezed. “Don’t you ever touch me again.” Wayne whimpered. Jonah didn’t let up. He’d not gone into this business lightly. No one touched him without his permission. “I’ll make sure your fee is returned, but if you ever put your hands on me again, you’ll lose this permanently. Understood?” Without waiting for an answer, Jonah walked away. He was enraged. Not just with Wayne but with life in general. He always tried to be the best person he could be, and still everything slipped through his fingers. In the last few weeks, he’d lost everything he loved. Jonah was beyond tired and heartsick. Being manhandled by a pervert was the straw that broke him. His deal with John had never made him feel cheap. Jonah didn’t know what he’d expected from tonight. He hadn’t found it.

As he hit the sidewalk and dragged the night air into his lungs, Jonah pulled out his phone. Hopefully, he wouldn’t have to wait long for a ride share or cab. The last thing he wanted was to go another round with rapey Wayne should he decide to follow. A solid weight landed on Jonah’s shoulders as he pulled up the app to hire a car. He shrugged the hands from his shoulders and spun. “Look, I’ve already warned you—” The words died on his lips at the sight of the most beautiful man he’d ever met. “John. Sorry, I...” John’s pinched expression sank in. Jonah’s heart skipped a beat. “Oh, sweetie. Are you okay? You’re not,” he said before John could answer. Jonah knew that look. Granted, he hadn’t seen it in over a year. He’d thought John’s doctor had finally gotten John’s headaches under control, as long as John avoided alcohol.

The valet appeared before John spoke a word. “Your vehicle, Mr. Green.”

“Thank you,” Jonah said, snagging the keys before John could. He dug some money from his wallet and tipped the man, ignoring John’s attempts at stopping him. When John tried shoving his money aside, Jonah grabbed his hand and held on. “Come on, baby. I’ll take care of everything.” To his surprise, John let Jonah lead him to the passenger side of the massive SUV and dutifully climbed inside when Jonah opened the door. Jonah didn’t stop there. He couldn’t let John slip into a full-blown migraine or the pain would have him down for a week. Too many people depended on John. He buckled John’s seatbelt, and while perched on the edge of John’s seat, he dug through the console for his meds. When he found the prescription bottle, he shook out two pills and passed them John’s way. “I’ll run through the closest drive-thru and get you a drink.”

“Thank you.”

Jonah finally stopped fussing long enough to meet John’s gaze. He looked sad. The idea of John not being the shiniest star in every room hurt Jonah’s chest. “You never have to thank me.” He stopped there because he had too much to say and most of it Jonah wanted to say in anger. Like how he’d thought they were friends, contract or not. He’d never in a million years dreamed there would come a day John wouldn’t call him again, and then that day had come. Jonah blinked and turned away before John saw the instant tears. No one had ever cut him deeper. Jonah had no one else to blame but himself.

He tried closing the door as softly as possible so he wouldn’t make John’s headache worse. Once he climbed behind the wheel, Jonah turned off the radio. He reached for John’s hand. John didn’t fight him. The way he let Jonah care for him let Jonah know exactly how bad he felt. John was the caretaker. Everyone’s caretaker. He always drove, paid, made the first move, and the last. Yet he sat in silence as Jonah bought him a drink. Granted it was a dollar soda from a fast-food joint, but it was the first time.

“I’m taking you home with me.” Jonah didn’t ask. He simply pointed the car in that direction. If John passed out, there was no way Jonah could get him up three flights of stairs to his bedroom. Jonah’s place was smaller. He could take better care of him in his own space.

John never said a word. Still, Jonah breathed a sigh of relief when they reached his house. He didn’t want to fight. Between getting treated like a whore and everything else he’d endured lately, Jonah didn’t have a nerve left to spare. Inside the door, John toed off his shoes alongside Jonah. They both peeled off their jackets and ties. Jonah’s heart turned over in his chest. He missed this. It was such a small thing to stab him in the chest, but Jonah missed every teeny tiny detail of them.

“Do you need anything?”

“No.”

John’s answer sounded gruff. Jonah tried not to read anything into it. The man’s head hurt. He led John to the couch. The moment Jonah kicked back in the recliner, he patted his lap. “Head here.”

John’s gaze stayed locked on his as curled onto his side facing Jonah and set his head on Jonah’s lap. Jonah ran his hand through John’s soft locks and massaged his temple. John’s eyelids drooped a little more by the second. His breathing deepened. Even once John dozed off, Jonah didn’t stop stroking the man’s hair. Maybe John didn’t love him. Possibly he never would. The knowledge changed nothing. Jonah loved him. The giant ass.

John came awake with a start. His heart raced into his throat at the unfamiliar surroundings until his gaze landed on Jonah. He was sound asleep with his fingers in John’s hair. Jonah was beautiful in a way John had never encountered anywhere else. He’d been out with someone else. A pain exploded behind his eyes again at the memory of watching Jonah go flush against another man before walking away. The idea of Jonah with anyone else sat heavy on John’s chest. He’d hope Jonah wouldn’t need to find another old man to care for him with the severance package he’d offered. Of course, the stubborn ass had refused to accept anything. The concern etched on Jonah’s face when he’d realized John was in pain wouldn’t leave John’s head. Jonah owed him nothing. If anything, John was the one in his debt because Jonah had given up everything in the past three years to keep John happy. Yet Jonah hadn’t turned his back on John. It was almost like Jonah loved him.

As much as John wished he could stare at Jonah all night, getting older sucked and his bladder was ready to burst. While trying his damnedest not to wake Jonah, John rolled from the couch and padded toward the bathroom. When he caught sight of himself in the mirror, John froze. There were dark circles under his eyes and the WTF lines between his eyes looked deeper than usual.

“Jesus,” he muttered, turning away and heading for the toilet. Jonah shouldn’t want to be seen with him. He looked old as hell. As John washed his hands, he decided he would leave. Jonah deserved a chance to spend time with people his own age. The moment he stepped outside the bathroom, his gaze landed on Cricket’s doggie bed. A smile pulled at his lips. When he’d bought the tiny Miniature Schnauzer for Jonah, Jonah had never looked happier. Love had etched his features the moment he set eyes on the dog. Then Cricket had barked, sounding dead up like a cricket’s chirp, and the poor little guy hadn’t stood a chance at landing a manly name.

John glanced around. Cricket was nowhere to be seen. He searched every room, finally wandering into Jonah’s bedroom. He’d intentionally saved that room for last. It smelled too much like Jonah’s sexy skin. The scent permeated every inch. There still wasn’t any sign of the dog. Jonah’s dresser caught his attention. One half of the mirror was covered in pictures. John moved closer. Three stuffed animals he’d bought Jonah sat beneath the pictures. John smiled at the sight. Then he leaned closer to the images and his breath disappeared. Picture after picture of them outlined their time together. Jonah looked happy. Genuinely happy. In each picture, he smiled bright on the verge of laughter. John looked even happier than Jonah. He didn’t recognize that version of himself any longer. John couldn’t remember the last time he’d smiled and meant it. Losing Jonah had killed everything good.

“How’s your head?”

John startled at the question. His heart beat fast enough to jump from his chest. He took a breath, trying to calm the racing before turning Jonah’s way. “I was looking for Cricket,” he said instead of answering, hoping Jonah wouldn’t think he’d been snooping.

A deep line appeared between Jonah’s eyes. He visibly swallowed and looked away. “He died.”

Horror overcame John at the pain in Jonah’s voice. “Oh no. What happened? You should’ve called. I would’ve been here for you.”

Jonah continued staring at the wall as if he couldn’t meet John’s stare. He toyed with the trim around the doorframe. “Would you? I’m not so sure.”

John wanted to be angry. In fact, his first reaction was a shot of outrage. It died as quickly as it hit. He hadn’t given Jonah a reason to believe in him lately. John closed the distance between them. He snagged Jonah around the waist. “Come here, baby. I’m so sorry. I know how much you love him. Is there anything I can do?”

Jonah shook his head as John towed Jonah against his chest. “The vet has someone they use for cremation. They’ll return the ashes to me later.”

“You shouldn’t have had to go through all that alone.”

“No one gave me a choice,” he said against John’s chest. Jonah pushed away and swiped at his eyes while avoiding John’s gaze. “You didn’t answer my question. How’s your head?”

It was obvious Jonah was hurting, but he wouldn’t accept John’s comfort. John had no one to blame but himself. He’d cut all ties to Jonah. John couldn’t speak. His throat hurt too badly.

Jonah finally met his gaze. He looked how John felt. A loud sigh fell from Jonah’s lips, sounding like it came from the man’s soul. “Come here,” he said, sounding tired as he reached for John’s shirt. Jonah watched his hands as he unbuttoned John’s shirt and shoved the material down John’s arms. “Let’s go to bed. If you’re not answering me, that means you’re still hurting, and you don’t want to admit it because you don’t want me to take care of you.” With John’s shirt held against his chest, Jonah moved to the bed and angrily jerked back the covers. “But that’s just too damn bad. I know I’m not who you want anymore, but I’m who you got tonight, so get in the goddamn bed.”

John held his tongue and stripped off his pants. He didn’t tear his gaze away from Jonah for a single second as Jonah did the same. The instant they were beneath the covers, John snagged Jonah around the middle and hauled the man against him. “You’re the only one I’ll ever want,” he confessed against Jonah’s skin as he kissed him beneath the ear.

Jonah took a ragged-sounding breath. “I think I fucking hate you.” Jonah’s confession came out so quietly John questioned if he’d heard him at all, except it also sounded like a fucking cannon to John’s heart. Jonah rolled in his arms. After snaking his leg over John’s hips, Jonah pulled him in for a kiss. He didn’t toy with John, making him question where this was headed. “I’m so goddamn mad at you,” Jonah said before deepening their kiss. Jonah nipped at his lips and sucked on his tongue while his fingers found their way inside John’s underwear. He had John questioning his ability to last as he ruthlessly stroked John’s cock. There could be no doubt Jonah wanted him. This wasn’t a business transaction. There was no contract, obligating Jonah’s availability. This was Jonah taking what he wanted. He’d chosen the right man.

John rolled Jonah beneath him and tore at what was left of their clothes. He kissed and bit his way down Jonah’s body, needing all the moans he’d been missing since walking away. Jonah pulled at his hair and clawed at his skin. As Jonah’s cock hit the back of John’s throat, the discovery that had been creeping its way in landed on John like a lead weight. They’d never been only a business arrangement. Jonah cared about him. John hadn’t accomplished anything by walking away from Jonah. He’d been stupid. John had broken both their hearts. He’d thought he was doing the right thing by Jonah. Now he realized all he’d done was fail them. All he’d done was break something beautiful. He’d make it right.

Jonah dug his heels into the mattress and lifted his hips. He was wild beneath John, seeking release. There were things no one could fake. Jonah’s desperation to have him was one of those things. John’s heart couldn’t take another second of not being inside Jonah. He’d thought it wouldn’t happen again. Now, here they were. John crawled up Jonah’s body. His whimpers assaulted John’s ears. John would fix it.

“Please tell me there are still condoms here.” Even John heard the growl in his voice. He didn’t wait for an answer before tearing open the bedside table and digging for what he needed. John was rougher than he intended as he lubed Jonah’s ass. He tried to move slower. His mind was too big of a mess. They needed to be one. The second he was suited up, John snagged Jonah’s hips, shoved Jonah’s knee higher, and pushed his way inside. Jonah gasped as his body made room for him.

John froze and pressed his forehead to Jonah’s chest. The madness inside him had his heartbeat pounding in his ears. He felt the rapid beating of Jonah’s heart kissing his forehead. Everything slowed. He reached between them and massaged Jonah’s cock. At first, he kept his touch light, trying to slow things down. Jonah’s tight ass squeezed John’s dick, trying to suck him deeper. John gasped for air. The light pouring from the open bathroom doorway illuminated Jonah’s skin. John stayed buried deep, letting Jonah’s body milk him while he watched Jonah’s cock disappear inside his closed hand, over and over again. Jonah writhed. John pumped faster. He could feel Jonah’s body winding tighter by the second. He stiffened beneath John. At the first twitch, he aimed for his mouth, needing to catch the cum on his tongue. Between the salty flavor and the suction on his cock, a wave of ecstasy crashed over John. He slowly rolled his hips, riding out each wave. As he pumped the condom full, John wished there was nothing between them. He wished this was their bed and Jonah had his last name. John never wanted to question where he stood, and he wanted Jonah to know he always came first. He needed Jonah to understand he was loved.

As he claimed Jonah’s lips, John swore to himself he’d find a way. All those things would be just like any other idea he had. Once it took hold, nothing would stop him from achieving every goal he set. Jonah would be his again. This time, it would be for good. If Jonah gave him another chance, John would never fail him again.