“In the Air Tonight”
Nathan
Our satisfied bellies were full of burgers and brats, cleanup had been accomplished, and now sunset was looming. Thirty or so members of the squadron, along with spouses and guests, lounged in the generous yard, enjoying a blazing fire built and tended by the LPA in the big fire pit. Most sprawled in folding beach chairs, but Camille and I had withdrawn to a quieter area a short distance away and were lying under a tree on my trusty stadium blanket. I was surprised to learn that Hung possessed a good bit of musical talent. He had parked his lanky frame on one of the oversized wooden benches around the fire pit and was treating the crowd to some acoustic guitar—James Taylor, Paul Simon, The Beatles. He even lent his deep voice on some songs with others joining in occasionally. The raucous crowd was settling in for the evening, enjoying cooler air and the always-stunning desert sunset.
“Hung,” Camille mused. “What kind of nickname is that?” She sipped a cold bottle of water. “I’d be afraid to ask him. But he sure has a nice voice.”
“The only thing you can be sure of when it comes to call signs is that nothing is as it seems.” I laughed easily, remembering some of the offbeat and downright bizarre tacticals I’d seen my friends stuck with. “I haven’t heard the story of Hung’s naming ritual, but I bet that it’s more to do with bombs than what he’s packing.”
Camille laughed along. “Well, you’ll have to let me in on it. It’s for certain I’ll not be asking him myself.” The crickets were tuning up their nighttime symphony, and the sky grew darker. “You were right about everyone, Nate. They were so easy to meet and went out of their way to make me feel included.”
I turned on my side, propping my head on an elbow, one finger lazily tracing her jawline. “That’s one of the hidden benefits of the military—you make friends quickly. It’s most obvious in the kids. For civilian kids, changing schools is a big deal, sometimes even traumatic. Military children almost never stay in one school longer than four years. Three is more common. You’ll routinely hear of a high school senior graduating from the fifth school they’ve attended. Moving around makes you flexible and, in most cases, friendly.”
I went for a fresh round of cold drinks and returned to find Camille lying on her back with her eyes closed, a gentle smile softening her face. I nudged her butt playfully with a bare foot and handed her the Sam Adams I’d dug from the ice of the truck bed. “Whatcha grinning about there, gorgeous?” I dropped back onto the blanket and stretched out right next to her, our hips touching, heads close.
“Ah, I love this song. It’s special.” Hung was working through the intricate finger picking of The Beatles’ “Blackbird.” Vivvie perched on a chair nearby and sang harmonies with Hung when the chorus came along. The heavy blackness of the night wrapped around us now, making our blanket under the tree feel like a haven. I felt, more than heard, Camille take a deep breath, and then she reached for my hand. “I need to tell you things, Nathan. More things. And it’s not so easy.”
She was quiet, so I gave her room, rubbed my bare foot against hers, and waited. “About five years ago, I was attacked.” In the space of a split second, a raging fire roared to life in my belly, but I fought back a physical reaction so as to allow her to speak in her time.
She continued in a quiet voice, wavering at times, but clear. “Luckie and I were at a local club with some younger nurses. She went to look for them; and while she was away, my drink was drugged. Toxicology showed a combination of Rohypnol and ketamine, so potent that the drugs alone could have killed me. I don’t remember much.” I waited while she took a couple of deep breaths. “There were at least two of them, but I couldn’t give the police any help with details. Ketamine has an amnesiac effect, among other things. They raped me repeatedly and beat me very badly. I lost an immense amount of blood. There were fractured ribs, a head injury, and lots more.”
She rolled toward me, an unexpected smile lighting her beautiful face. “But my Luckie found me. In a ditch behind the club, where they’d thrown me like garbage. She came for me, stayed right beside me, slept in my bed, fed and bathed me. She made me live. She wouldn’t let me go, didn’t ever give up. I owe her everything, Nathan.”
My hands were in her hair, and I pulled her head to my chest, caressing her face and running my fingers through her sweet-smelling hair. The huge lump in my throat made it hard to speak. “Beautiful, beautiful girl,” I murmured in her ear. “Who could hurt you? I can’t imagine it.” I couldn’t say anything further, my throat tight and eyes burning.
She pulled herself to an elbow, lowering her face until it was inches from mine. “Before we go to bed tonight…together, I needed you to know that, Nathan. But there’s more. I don’t blame myself for being raped. I know so many victims struggle endlessly with guilt and shame, feeling they were somehow to blame, and my heart aches for the burden they carry. But that burden isn’t mine. I know it wasn’t my fault.”
She paused and tilted her head away from me, reflective. “I’ve always seen things differently from others. I could’ve been destroyed by parents who didn’t want me and aren’t part of my life, but I chose to embrace my friends instead of a family I don’t have. Or I could have allowed this attack to color every part of me and break me. But I can’t do that. The unexpected blessing in it was finding out that I had friends who are the best people in the world. They didn’t walk through the fire with me; they walked into it and rescued me.” She looked into my eyes again. “Without the darkest night, how could we appreciate the stars?”
She looked over near the fire where Luckie and Deliverance were laughing as she tried to wrestle something from his hand. “My heart is so grateful every time I allow myself to think about the way Luckie and my other friends put their lives completely aside to give everything they were to me. Nate, they worked overtime, canceled vacations, nursed my Solomon back to health after he went out and got his ass kicked in a brawl with the tomcat next door.” She choked back laughter. “On the day that Luckie brought me home, I found flowers from my girls welcoming me home. And the card said, ‘Take these broken wings and learn to fly.’“ Her voice broke a little, but she recovered and looked back at me. “It’s been a long road—years long—but I think I’ve finally learned how to fly.”
My mouth was on hers in an instant, my hand on the back of her head, cushioning it as I rolled her onto her back and searched her mouth with mine. I felt her warm hands on my shoulders and neck, and a little moan escaped as she opened herself to me, now literally and figuratively. Her hips rolled slightly toward mine, unconsciously seeking, and it was then I realized we needed to get behind a door. Right fucking now. My fingers tangled in her hair, pulling our reluctant mouths apart. “Come on, baby. Time to go.”
She drew in a deep breath and quickly jumped to her feet, grabbing the blanket while I took our empties to a large trashcan by the fire. Camille dug into the ice in the truck bed, extricating four water bottles, and joined me, already offering a goodnight to the dozens of Scorpions still enjoying the fire and Hung’s music. We were the first to leave, and the reasons would be painfully obvious if I strayed too near the light of the fire.
I hugged Camille to my side, and we waved our goodnights. Luckie grabbed Deliverance’s hips from behind and thrust her own several times in rapid succession, her head lolling with faux passion. She stopped and winked at Camille, throwing a kiss. “G’nite, babycakes,” she called. “Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.”
Camille tucked her hand into the back pocket of my jeans as we made our getaway. “I gotta be honest with you, Colonel. With Luckie? That isn’t a very long list.” She grinned up at me as we made our way to Cottage #5. I unlocked the door and pulled her inside, wrapping her securely in my arms as I did.