The first boy Vivian kissed was her high school boyfriend. She’d just turned sixteen, and he’d taken her out for pizza and a movie. They’d stood on her front porch afterward, and he’d leaned forward a little awkwardly, bumping her with his nose.

He’d kissed her for exactly three seconds.

She knew because she’d counted.

She’d dated him all through high school, and she’d assumed she’d marry him and they’d keep living in the small North Carolina town where they’d both grown up. But he’d broken up with her right after graduation, explaining as nicely as he could that he’d always felt like they were just a high school thing and she didn’t really want him for the long haul.

She’d cried for two days, but then she’d shrugged it off and started to focus on heading in the fall to the Christian college she’d always wanted to attend. And underneath the hurt, a small part of her was relieved.

She liked her hometown, and she’d thought she’d loved that boy.

But now she was free. Nothing would be holding her in this one small world.

She’d dated three different guys in college, each relationship lasting at least six months. With each one, she’d assumed there might be a future, but the guys had each ended up dumping her with various explanations that they just weren’t right for each other.

Every time, she’d cried. And every time, she’d had that little flicker of relief.

Since she’d gotten out of college, she’d dated semiregularly. Most of the time, the relationships were just casual—just someone to go out with, go to social events with. A few men she’d thought had real potential.

The last man she’d kissed was sixteen months ago. He’d been a hotshot defense attorney in Raleigh—smart, handsome, and ambitious. They’d dated for about four months when he just stopped calling her.

After a week, she’d called him to check in, and he’d explained it wasn’t going to work out. He didn’t feel like she really needed him, and he wanted a woman who did.

His words were so close to the words of her first boyfriend that they’d hit her hard.

She liked men. She genuinely wanted to get married. She wasn’t unhappy as she was—at all—but marriage was something she still dreamed on. Maybe children. She wasn’t sure about that. But definitely marriage.

Somehow though, she was giving off vibes that told men she wasn’t interested.

And she didn’t know why, and she didn’t know how to fix it.

She hadn’t dated much since. It felt like a futile exercise if she was somehow sabotaging herself. Her friends told her she was just too confident and successful—and that was intimidating to most men—but she saw other successful women find men who wanted to marry them.

She was somehow turning men away, and she couldn’t help but wonder if it had something to do with that tiny flicker of relief she felt every time they broke up with her.

Now there was Jeff.

She had no idea what was happening there, but she’d been reliving that kiss over and over again throughout the night, and she was still thinking about it as she showered and dressed the next morning with a giddiness she hadn’t felt in a really long time.

She was so wired that she finished dressing early and went down to the pool deck to get some fresh air and listen to the ocean.

She wondered what Jeff would say when he saw her today.

She wondered what he would look like.

She wondered if he would kiss her again.

She was walking back inside when an arm reached out from around the corner of the hallway and pulled her out of the lobby and back against a wall.

She huffed in surprise but couldn’t hold back a flash of excitement when she realized it was Jeff. He was leaning her against the wall, a little smile on his face.

“What was that for?” she asked breathlessly. Her hands had gone up of their own accord to fist in his red golf shirt. “You startled me.”

“I knocked on your door to walk down with you to breakfast, and you weren’t there. Are you trying to hide from me?” he asked, his brown eyes soft and hot and fond.

“No. Of course not. I was just getting some air. I was ready early and felt… restless.”

“Did you?” He leaned closer to her, his body warmth causing her to flush. “Are you sure you’re not trying to avoid me?”

She lowered her eyes, feeling ridiculously shy. She had no idea why. This was Jeff—her partner for a long time—but she’d never seen him like this before.

She liked it. A lot.

“I’m not trying to avoid you,” she said, raising her eyes and getting another thrill from his expression. “I promise.”

“Good,” he murmured. He cupped her face with one hand the way he had yesterday and brushed her lips with his. Just the slightest touch. So delicious. “I was afraid you might have decided this was a mistake.”

“No. I don’t think so. Or I guess I don’t really know. Maybe it is, but it doesn’t feel like it. It… I don’t even know.” She was never so inarticulate. She couldn’t even get a full sentence out.

“We don’t have to know everything right now,” he said, his expression changing to the slightly earnest seriousness that was so much a part of him. “As long as you’re okay with me kissing you occasionally.”

Her mouth twitched up in a little smile. “I think I could live with that.”

“Good.” He kissed her again, just a little more than the first brush of his lips but nothing hot and heavy. “Then I will. Keep kissing you, I mean.”

She experienced a sudden jolt of fear, of self-consciousness, as she imagined what everyone else would think if they saw Jeff kissing her.

They’d assume it was serious.

They’d assume they would be getting married very soon.

And there was no reason to assume that would ever happen between her and Jeff. After all, her luck with men was inevitably bad.

She could suddenly picture herself walking into the office and having to tell the rest of the staff that Jeff had broken up with her, that he hadn’t really wanted her after all.

The visual was so nauseating that her breath caught in her throat.

“What’s the matter?” he asked, studying her expression.

“Nothing. Not really. I’m just wondering… Maybe we should keep this… keep it private. Not go public with the kissing thing. Yet.”

It would be so much safer that way. If Jeff decided he didn’t want this, then she’d be the only person to know.

His forehead wrinkled slightly, and she could see him thinking through the words, processing what they meant, working through all the implications. “That would be fine,” he said slowly, after several seconds.

“I’m just worried—about it interfering with work.”

“How would it interfere with work?” He didn’t sound annoyed or resistant. Just like he was still figuring it out.

“It would feel strange and awkward. Everyone would be talking about us and watching us and teasing us. It would get in the way. Please?”

Jeff nodded. “Of course. Of course we can keep it private for now.”

She exhaled in a gust of relief and slipped her hands up to the back of his head, tugging on his thick hair just a little. He responded by kissing her again, teasing her bottom lip very gently with his tongue for a few seconds before pulling away.

They smiled at each other like naughty children with a fun, sneaky plan, and then he put a hand on the small of her back as they started in toward breakfast. He kept his hand on her back until they’d cleared the hallway, and then he let his hand drop.

They walked into the dining room side by side but not touching at all.

***

The morning passed as the three previous mornings had—with physical and creative activities as a group. But throughout the hours, Vivian kept letting her eyes slip over to Jeff, and they’d share secret looks that made her want to hug herself.

What the hell was happening here?

This was Jeff. And she’d never imagined feeling things like this for him before.

But she was. She definitely was.

And she didn’t even want them to go away.

If they could be careful about it, then maybe they could work things out in a way that wouldn’t distract either of them or the rest of the team from the work they needed to do.

If they were careful, maybe this could continue—even after this week was over.

After lunch, she went down to lie by the pool with a book. She assumed Jeff would come to join her since she’d told him that was where she would be, but she’d been down for ten minutes and still hadn’t seen a glimpse of him.

What was he doing?

Why wasn’t he coming to join her?

Had he already decided doing something else was better than being with her?

She pushed the thoughts aside since they were silly and irrational and wondered if she should go look for him. She was still internally debating when a woman came over to sit in the chaise beside her.

It was Jessica Duncan, the woman she’d met yesterday.

Vivian smiled at her with genuine friendliness, although her mind was still distracted with Jeff’s location.

Jessica was wearing a cute blue tankini with a little skirt around the bottom—like the ones they sold in popular mail-order catalogs that were supposed to hide figure flaws. Vivian didn’t think Jessica needed it. She looked intelligent and quiet and attractive. Vivian had liked her right away.

“Okay,” Jessica said, taking off her sunglasses as she looked over at Vivian. “I have to ask.”

Vivian blinked. “Ask what?”

“Are you Vivian Harper from Faith and Fabulousness?”

Despite the fact that her company was quite successful, Vivian wasn’t anything like a celebrity. Only in Christian circles was she occasionally recognized and usually just then because they’d heard the name and didn’t immediately identify her face.

She hadn’t told Jessica her last name yesterday, so the other woman had clearly recognized her by appearance.

“Yes,” she said with a surprised smile. “I am. You know it?”

“Of course I know it! I’ve been following you since you were just doing the blog. I’m so excited to get to meet you!” Jessica’s eyes were utterly genuine. She didn’t have any sort of agenda. She meant what she was saying.

“Okay—that makes me feel really great,” Vivian admitted with a smile.

“It must happen all the time to you. I mean, I see Faith and Fabulousness everywhere.”

“It really doesn’t happen all the time. We’ve been doing very well, but people mostly just know the name itself and don’t know me by sight. And—I don’t mean to sound cynical or anything—but a lot of people who reach out to me seem to have some sort of agenda, like they’re looking for something from me.”

“I can believe it. I guess it goes with success. But I’ve seriously been following you from the beginning. The first post I read from you was about your trip to Quebec, back when you were in college. You had all those amazing photos you’d taken, and you were reflecting about travel and history and tradition and faith and the Bible, and I literally cried over it.” Jessica looked almost rueful. “I really did.”

Maybe because she’d been feeling a little insecure lately, but the other woman’s words struck a powerful note in her heart. She felt her own eyes swelling slightly, blurring her vision. “Wow. Thanks. Thanks for telling me. I’m so glad.”

“My husband bought me the book on shoes for my birthday. I’m not a shoe person or a clothes person or anything. I’m as low maintenance as you can get. But I loved that book so much. The photography was stunning, of course, but it was some of those little written reflections that got me. You must have written some of them. I know your name wasn’t on the book, but I’m sure I recognized your voice on some of them.” She paused for a moment. “The best ones.”

Vivian swallowed hard. She had no idea what was wrong with her, but it felt like she was about to cry. “I… I added a little,” she admitted. “I’m so glad you loved the book.”

“You have no idea how much Daniel teased me about my spending all that time reading about shoes, after I’ve spent years telling him I don’t care about fashion at all.” Jessica laughed. “I thought I’d never hear the end of it. And there’s no way I’ll ever admit to him that I really wanted to buy a pair of great shoes after I’d finished the book.”

Vivian laughed too, managing to pull herself together. “Did you buy some?”

“No. But maybe I should have.”

“You definitely should have.” Vivian was about to say something else when she was aware of a presence standing beside her.

She shaded her eyes against the sun and looked up to discover Jeff. He was taking off his shirt, and she was momentarily distracted by the sight of his bare chest.

He wasn’t built big or bulky, but he was in good shape overall. And his chest was very nice, very masculine. She really liked the look of it.

“I was wondering where you were.”

“I had a phone call,” he explained with an intimate little twitch of his lips.

“With what phone?” She was momentarily outraged by the idea of his having a phone when he’d taken hers away.

“The landline here. I didn’t sneak in a phone like some people I can mention.” He was teasing her. It was clear from his voice.

She really liked the sound of it.

Remembering where she was, she turned back to Jessica, who was also smiling. “I remember Jeff from yesterday,” she said, giving him a little wave as he stretched out in the chaise next to Vivian’s. “Are you two… together, as well as business partners?”

The question was blunt but not rude. Jessica was genuinely interested, and there was a kindness underlying the smile.

But the question took Vivian aback, and she had no idea how to answer it.

They were kind of together right now. At least, they were kissing.

But they also weren’t announcing it to the world.

Vivian cleared her throat. “We’ve… we’ve always been friends. We went to college together.”

That was true, and it could act as an answer without revealing too much. It was the best she could do.

She glanced over at Jeff, and she saw his eyes were on her face. His expression had changed—it wasn’t quite as teasing and fond—but she wasn’t sure how to read it.

Surely he didn’t expect her to announce to a stranger that they’d started kissing yesterday.

Talk about inappropriate.

Maybe he felt a little uncomfortable with the situation too—just like she did. That might explain his altered expression.

***

That evening, they all went down to the beach again. Garrett brought his guitar with him, and they sat around the fire pit, chatted, and sang old hymns and favorite praise songs.

Vivian had a really good time. She loved these people, and she loved the little looks she occasionally shared with Jeff.

It made her feel special in a way she didn’t always feel.

She tried not to look at him too much, afraid to give something away to the others. But every time her eyes slipped over to him, his eyes were resting on her face.

His finely chiseled features looked starkly handsome in the firelight, and his hair blazed with gold. He was like some kind of Greek god, come down to earth just for her.

It was a ridiculous thought. He was still Jeff. The same old Jeff she’d always liked so much but who had never taken her breath away.

She didn’t know why he was taking her breath away now.

After about an hour, she was starting to feel too hot in front of the fire and too jittery with the way Jeff kept looking at her.

There was a strange kind of pressure behind his regard—as if he believed she was better than she really was—and it made her nervous, jittery.

Guys admired her often enough. They told her they thought she was pretty.

But as soon as she started getting close to them, they would inevitably break up with her.

She wondered when it would happen with Jeff.

She told the others she needed to stretch her legs and went to take a walk on the beach by herself.

She couldn’t help but wonder if Jeff would join her. She wanted him to and was afraid he would at the same time.

She’d been walking about five minutes when he caught up with her.

He reached to take her hand. “Are you trying to get away from me?” he asked, falling in step with her.

“No! Of course not.”

He watched her closely in the moonlight and starlight. “Then you were hoping to sneak away with me for a few minutes?”

She chuckled, squeezing his hand. “Not exactly. I’m not complaining at all, but I really just wanted to stretch my legs.”

She expected him to let her hand slip out of his now that they were walking together, but he didn’t. He held it in a close but not hard grip.

She loved how it felt. Possessive. Intimate. Like the clasp of his hand was claiming her as his and him as hers.

But it also made her feel weird and jumpy.

This wasn’t something she normally did—walking on the beach, holding hands with a man.

“Who was your call from this afternoon?” she asked after a few minutes of silence. She’d almost forgotten about that detail in the hours since he’d mentioned it. She wasn’t sure why it occurred to her now.

“Hannah.”

She straightened up. Hannah was one of their interns manning the office this week. “Is something wrong?”

“No. I’d called this morning to check and make sure they didn’t have any questions, and she was just calling back. Nothing is going on. They have it all under control.”

“I thought we weren’t supposed to be thinking about work this week,” she said, narrowing her eyes at him. “Have you been sneaking in some work behind my back?”

He laughed. “No. I just thought it was safer to check in. They’re good, but they’re still in college. Even if they’re just covering the phones, email, and social media, who knows what might happen in a week. And I didn’t want you to be worrying about it.”

She felt almost ashamed that she hadn’t even thought about work at all today. Her mind had been filled with other things. “Oh. Okay.”

“What’s the matter?” he asked softly, evidently seeing something in her face.

“Nothing.” She smiled up at him. “Really nothing. I was just… You don’t have to worry about me.”

He stopped walking and turned her to face him. “Well, I do worry about you. I like to take care of you. It feels like my special privilege.”

He was so sweet and earnest and genuine. He’d always been all those things, but it felt different now that he was directing it toward her personally.

She loved it. So much. And it still terrified her.

She was filled with flutters as she smiled up at him. “I don’t need taking care of.”

“Everyone needs taking care of.”

“What about you?”

He gently pushed her hair back from her face, where the wind had blown it. “I wouldn’t complain if you decided you wanted to take care of me.”

“Oh really?”

“Yes, really.” He leaned down to kiss her, still holding her hand. It felt so good she pressed herself against the lean, hard line of his body. When he pulled his lips away, his face still a breath away from hers, he murmured, “But I’ll want to take care of you even if you never want to take care of me.”

Her heart felt like it might explode from the flood of feeling rushing through it. She had no idea what to say to that, what to do. She rested her cheek on his shoulder for a minute, one of his arms around her waist and their hands still clasped together.

Finally she said softly, “I… I never knew you felt this way.”

“Neither did I,” he admitted. “Oh, I guess I’ve had inklings of all this for the past year or so, but I was trying to ignore it. But some things just can’t be ignored forever.”

That was true.

She knew it herself.

She’d never known or admitted that she wanted to walk along the beach, holding Jeff’s hand.

But evidently she had.