Chapter 10
Charity
It seems like I just fell asleep when I feel Brody put his knee on the bottom bunk that I am sleeping in. I try not to jump but I do it out of reflex. Brody brings his lips to the back of my head. It’s seems almost sweet if I didn’t remember his words from last night. “I’m leaving Charity. I’ll lock up when I leave. The shot gun is by the end of the bed. It is loaded. Remember everything I told you last night.” How could I possibly forget? “I’ll see you in a few hours.” I never respond to him, but I feel when he gets off the bed and I hear the door close. I stay still even though I need to go relief myself. I wait and when I finally hear Brody shut the front door and then hear his boots going down the front steps. I give it a few minutes and then get up and go to the bathroom without turning on any lights. I finish my business and then wash my hands.
I make it through the small cabin without turning on any lights. I get me some water and find me a can of fruit to eat for breakfast. I eat it straight out of the can. I have no way of knowing the time, but when I think I have given Brody enough time to be out of sight of the cabin. I turn some lights on and look around for a bag or backpack to put some things in. I don’t want to take from Brody and his family, but I will leave a note guaranteeing I will return every single item or something new like it. I will make a list of everything I take. I think of what I am going to do and what I will need. I know exactly where I can get some help, even if it isn’t voluntary. Uncle Hem won’t mind. He’s always told me anytime I need help he would be there. Uncle Hem is a man that did business with my Pop and I always tried to help him load the crops that he bought from us. I know he would help me, so I have a plan. Uncle Hem said he would always help me and that he cared for me like a daughter. His family is all gone.
His wife and brother passed, and his sons and nephew moved away. I find a big duffel bag in one of the many storage tubs in the house. I fold two of the thin blankets off the bunkbeds and then grab two towels from the cabinet in the bathroom. While I am in there I brush my teeth. I check my panties and bra that I washed out in the sink and hung over the shower to dry. Panties dried, and the bra is almost dried. They will be wearable by the time I am ready to leave. I take the toothbrush and tooth paste and put them in the duffle bag. I walk back in the bedroom and dig through some of the tubs and finally come up with a pair of sweats that will be too short, but they will protect my legs from thorns and bug bites today in the woods. I find a pair of boy basketball shorts and a thicker t-shirt than the one I am wearing. I am going to look a sight, but it will have to work. I don’t care what people think of the way I look. I find a few more things that will work and even some boxers. I can’t be picky. They will work. I stuff them in the bottom of the duffel. I walk back in the kitchen and find a small first aid kit and stick it in there. I find a sharp knife and some scissors. I also stick a few bottles of water in there. I put some dish rags in there and some trash bags. I go in the closet where the breakers for the lights are. I look around in there and then find the light switch and flip it on. I look closely at the shelves in the room and I am seeing nothing I could use.
Then I see the electrical tape and duct tape. I grab them. Not sure why but they can be used in a lot of situations. Then I see the edge of a small box underneath the last shelve near the floor. I squat down and pull it out. It is a small metal box but there is a place for a small key. I try to open it and it won’t open. I run my hand on the box and try to see if it is taped to the box. Nothing. I remember when I was little and if Pop locked something up, he hung the key on the wall somewhere, so he wouldn’t lose the key. I look around the walls of the closet and nothing. I walk out and into the kitchen and start looking over the walls. Nothing.
I open the cabinet door where the dishes are, and there it is. I take it down and go back to the closet. I pick up the box and go back to the table in the kitchen. I insert the key and open the box. There is a small twenty-two caliber pistol, semi- automatic. My Ma has one just like it, she calls it her purse gun. It strikes me odd that the men would have this at their hunting cabin, but I am glad they do. I have used my Ma’s repeatedly. It’s one of the cheapest hand guns that you can target practice with. There are two boxes of bullets to go with it. I expel the clip from it and make sure the chamber is empty. Everything seems alright with it. I reload it, but I don’t put one in the chamber, and then I get up and put the gun and shells in my duffel. I lock the box back and return the key.
Now I know Brody should be away from the cabin, so I go back to the bathroom. I open the medicine cabinet and take any kind of medicine I can find. There’s not much. Some Tylenol, alcohol wipes, Band Aids, and I find some rubber bands. I stick all this on the side of the cabinet and then turn and get the water going. It feels nice and hot. I take the t-shirt off and put it on the cabinet and find a clean wash cloth and a towel. I put the towel on the cabinet and bring the wash cloth with me, as I get in the shower. I can finally relax a few minutes and let this hot water take the kinks out of my shoulders. I try to relax. I really do but my mind strays.
My mind goes back to last night. The way Brody made me feel cherished and valued right up until we both found our release. I have never felt so loved and the physical release was the first with a man. I have masturbated before, but it felt nothing like Brody made me feel.
My first time at sex was wham bam thank you ma’am, but never talk to me again. Last night I could almost fool myself that Brody might have true feelings for me. Not the fairy tale kind of happily ever after, but the real feelings between a man and a woman. I had been having doubts about my ability to walk away from Brody because I have strong feelings for him. I think I am half way in love with the man, but how does that make sense, since we just met a couple of days ago? I was having mixed emotions and feeling confused but when he went right back to what would happen starting this morning. He was right back to business and all the warm feelings he had given me slipped away with each word. It was mind blowing sex, but Brody made me aware that he is way out of my league. I came on to him and this is my fault, not his. He tried to warn me, and I should have taken it to heart instead of ignoring it. I got exactly what I asked him for, one night, and it will be enough. The memory is seared into my body and mind. I don’t know why I didn’t think of a condom. Because when it comes to men, I have no idea how to handle any situation.
I hate being bossed around but I love when Brody took control. The mention of the morning after pill put my teeth on edge. I did not plan on getting pregnant, but I did mean to have sex with Brody and I should have thought that out a little more. I believe every woman has control of her body, but I believe if I did get pregnant, it is my fault for not thinking of protection and my responsibility to care and love that child. The morning after pill, in my opinion, should not be used as birth control. In some situations, it is right, and women always have the right to choose those times. This is not one for me. I know when I walk out this door I will not see Brody again and that will be alright. I don’t have his address, but he told me his cousin works for the Wood County Sheriff’s Department. I can send the money for everything I borrow back in care of the Sheriff’s Department. I also have his cousin’s name and I can make a trip back through their hometown after I have Faith with me and then we’ll drop the gun off. I am brought back out of my thoughts when the water starts to cool off. I wash and condition my hair quickly and then turn the water off. I reach for the towel I sat out and try to get all the dripping water out of my hair and then I dry off my body and put on my panties and bra and then the clothes I brought in here for me. I will put the sweats over my shorts before I leave. I take the bar of soap and wrap it in a wash cloth and then dry the bottles of shampoo and conditioner. I lay them all on the cabinet. I put on some of the men’s deodorant that I found last night and then sit it on the counter. I brush out my hair and put two rubber bands in it, so it will stay up. I hang my towel over the shower to dry. I make sure everything is wiped clean. I take the rest of the stuff to the duffle bag and pack it all in there. I walk back to the kitchen and clean everything up. I take a bottle water out of the refrigerator and put it in the freezer while I clean everything else up. I notice a box of matches by the stove.
I wash up the dishes and then I open one more can of fruit and drain part of the juice off. I make myself eat it. It’s not very appetizing, but I am eating so I can keep my energy up for this hike. Unlike Brody, I am not sure of my way out of here. I reach for the box of matches and decide to go ahead and grab the can opener too. I am finished in here. I go back to the backroom and get my duffle bag. I dig in one of the storage tubs that had the paper and pen and games in it and bring out the paper and pen. I write out an I.O.U. for the stuff I am taking and tell them I will return the twenty-two. I also write out a note for Brody. I have tears in my eyes by the time I am finished but I push myself to get out of here. I put the sweats on and push them up to my knees. It’s already getting warm outside. I grab the duffel and put pen and paper in it and then grab the two notes and go back to the kitchen and put the two notes in the middle of the table. I grab my bottle of water and put on top of everything making sure to keep it away from the paper. I close the top of the duffle and then go outside and flip the breaker to the water pump. Then I return to the house and switch off all the breakers. I grab the duffel and lock the door on my way outside. I see a machete in the side of one of the trees. I go and take it out of the tree which is no easy feat. I feel the edge of the machete. It’s not the sharpest but it is not dull either. I will need this going through the woods. I can ditch it or stuff it in my bag when I get to the highway. I look one more time at the cabin that I spent the night with Brody in.
My Ma always said be careful what you wish for, and I guess I just learned that lesson the hard way. This cabin will always hold some of the best and some of the worst memories of my life. That sounds awful after what I have been through with the Hell Keeperz, but they could never touch my heart. I will take physical pain any day to the kind of pain I hold inside now. I turn my back to the cabin and head in an angular direction from Brody. The highway must be that direction, I am just going to come out on a different part of the highway, I see the path that Brody took, but hope like hell I avoid Brody and his friends and family.