Chapter Two
Whenever I went to my parent’s, my mom always made one of my favorite meals and she did this only when I was at home….pot roast with gravy and homemade mashed potatoes with roasted veggies.
No matter how many times my dad would beg her to make it for him, she never dared to because she knew it was my favorite dish. “There’s my baby girl,” she said when I walked in through the side door which lead into the kitchen.
The smells of her pot roast on the stove simmering was a welcome smell for me as I went up behind her to give her a hug and kiss on the cheek. “Everything smells good.” I looked over in the oven and saw the rolls that she would make from scratch to go along with the honey butter. “I swear momma, you need to open up a restaurant.”
“You know Mrs. Wesley told me the same thing when I was going to the store to get everything for Sunday dinner tomorrow. I’ve often thought about opening up my own place but I don’t know…”
“Why not, I mean you have dad to help out as well as Aunt Roslyn who is also a great cook. Hell, you’ll have most of the family backing you up for sure, including me.”
She smiled while wiping her hands on her apron.
“Heck, if you ever decide let me know because I know someone who’s into commercial real estate who could probably find you a reasonable spot to start off.”
“I’ll think about it baby and let you know.” Which in Mom speak meant, “I’ll put it on the back burner for later thought.” “Do you mind helping me out once you put your bag in your room by setting the table?”
“Sure thing momma.” I walked over to the living room where I saw my dad sitting in his recliner with his feet up and dead asleep. I didn’t even bother to mess with him as I made my way upstairs, down the hallway towards my room. This was the place where I grew up, had plenty of slumber parties with my friends, listened to music on my stereo or writing out lyrics to songs.
After putting my bag in my room, I went back downstairs, seeing my dad still reclined in his chair. I went over and gave him a sound kiss on his forehead, watching him as he stirred a bit in his sleep.
He slowly opened his eyes to look up at my smiling face. “Why, hey there, Butterbean.” He grabbed my face to give me another kiss.
I giggled. Butterbean was the nickname he gave me when I was five because when I had tried butterbeans for the first time, I nearly gagged on them. I didn’t try them again, until I was eleven and by then, I had a taste for them. So Butterbean was what he called me from then on out.
“When did you get in?”
“Just a few minutes ago, I went to put my things in my room. I saw you sleeping here but didn’t want to wake you up.”
“Always wake me up when you come into the house, no matter how deep into my sleep I am. So how is work going?”
“Oh, just the same thing every single day as always, but I did find someone that can do a demo for me.”
“Really, who is it?”
“There is this guy Sara had suggested for me to talk with because her roommate had him do a demo for her as well. I plan on calling him on Monday to see about setting up a time for us to start.”
“Have you figured out which songs you’d like to sing?”
“Probably, just six songs but I don’t know which ones I’ll sing. I want to do a bit of variety you know.”
“How about that one song you sang in church that time? Everyone enjoyed it so much.”
I had written a song for church called, ‘Joy Comes with His Words.’ I had sung it as part of the fiftieth anniversary of our church. I had the choir accompany me and it brought tears to some of the members. They even told me that afterwards, how they were deeply moved by not only the lyrics of my song but just the message itself. It made me feel good that I had gotten such high praise from my congregation. “You know I just might do that, plus I have another I want to sing and then add some favorites of mine.”
“Can I get a little help here with setting the table please?” my mother called from the kitchen.
We both got up to help her out.
Out of all the places that gave me comfort and joy being at church was on my top five of my top ten. Our family had been a part of Gospel Light Baptist Church for a number of years. I was even baptized there at just a month old. I went to Sunday school and was part of the Kid’s Choir until I got of age to be in the Church Choir, where I often sang a solo or was accompanied by someone else. But today, I would be a part of the congregation since I hadn’t been to practice in about a week. They had started off singing ‘Oh Happy Day” which really lifted me on high and even more so when our Reverend Samuel Nelson started to preach. Whenever I would hear him preach, it seemed to go right through me, filling me up with such joy that all the pain and frustrations I had dealt with over the week seemed to go along with my tears.
After services were over, we did what most of the congregation did…meeting up in front to meet up with people just to chat it up or share the local gossip.
“Why hello Sister Emma, how are you feeling?” my mom asked Mrs. Fredericks who was a good friend of the family since I had been five.
“Doing much better since I had that surgery a month ago on my back. I swear, I was so scared but I put it all in the good Lord’s hand and he helped me through all this.”
My mom went and kissed her on the cheek, giving her a small hug as I walked around to some of the others as I saw someone that I hadn’t seen in years standing with his parents, talking with the Deacon’s wife Mrs. Lincoln. “Charles, is that you?”
Charles Dobson also known as ‘Lil’ Pud’ by yours truly was my best friend since we were three years old. His parents lived about five houses down from where I lived where he was a constant familiar face in my parent’s home. He was either eating breakfast, lunch or coming over for snacks. We would ride our bikes in the neighborhood and he often was my savior when some of the kids would pick on me because I was chubby. Even though later on when we were in the ninth grade, he would tell me something that would cement our friendship forever. We had been playing video games in my room, which was always norm for us on a Saturday afternoon while we waited for pizza to be delivered.
“Melanie, I wanted to talk with you about something.”
I’d noticed that Charles had been acting kind of weird for a few days. I had asked him several times whether he was feeling all right, but he always came back with, ‘I’m fine’ even though I knew he wasn’t, so I didn’t press him any further. But today he looked so concerned, like he really had something on his mind that he needed to tell me, so I went and paused the game. “Sure what’s going on?”
He looked so apprehensive about talking.
I knew Charles felt anxious about something because when he got nervous, he bit his lower lip. “What’s wrong?”
“I don’t know how to tell you this Mel but I know we’ve been friends for a long time now but I had to tell you before I told anyone else, especially my parents.”
Now he was scaring the hell out of me as I moved in closer to him, holding his hand. “What’s wrong Lil Pud?”
“Maybe we need to close the door.”
I crawled around him, pushed over the door until it closed and sat back down next to him, “Alright, spill it son.”
“I’ve been having feelings towards someone,”
“That’s it.” I smacked him upside his head because I had really gotten scared as hell. “I thought you were dying you fool and you got a crush on someone.”
“I’ve had a crush on this person for a long time now and I don’t know what to do about it.”
“Have you told her yet?” And that’s when he really bit into his lip again. “Well, who is she? Is it Alicia from History or Linda from English because I know those two are constantly asking me about you?”
“No actually, it’s with a guy Mel. I have a crush on a guy and I don’t know what in the world to do.” Tears welled up in his eyes.
All I could do was sit there in shock as my best friend was coming out to me. “How long have you been having these feelings for him?”
“Actually, I’ve had feelings for him as well as other guys for a very long time now.” He wiped his tear streaked face.
I grabbed a box of tissue from nearby.
He took out a bunch, wiped his eyes and face before blowing his nose. “I’ve only told you about this because you are my best friend.”
All I could do was hug him, hold him as he kept crying in my arms. It was the only thing I could do for the last few minutes until we heard the doorbell ring which meant the pizza was here. Once he cleaned himself up, I told him, “You know I am your friend and I wouldn’t judge you because you are who you are. Do you know when you’ll tell your parents about it?”
“When the time is right, I will for sure.”
Well, that didn’t happen until Charles was in college during his junior year.
I was shocked that he’d kept up the charade for so long without anyone knowing he was gay. He had been on the track team as well as the soccer team. Since the fact that he was so handsome, he could get any girl he wanted and often he did, but it never went any further than hugs and kisses he would tell me. But it was when he was in college that he fell in love with a guy named Simon, a man he had met at a gay bar and secretly been seeing for six months. When I first met Simon, I found him very attractive with dark blonde hair grey along the temples and sparkling green eyes that seem to make his dazzling smile even more brilliant. He was about ten years older and had traveled all over the world, met famous movie stars and musicians as well and I knew when I saw them together how much in love they were.
Charles then had asked me to come and be with him when he told his parents. I had never seen a man so nervous in my entire life and in a way…I could only imagine what was going on in his mind when he sat with me hand in hand across from his parents at their dining room table.
“What is it you wanted to talk with us about son?” Charles’ dad asked him.
I felt poor Charles flinch but I held his hand hard enough as he looked at me and I smiled.
“What’s wrong baby?” His mom reached over for his hand as he held it in his.
“Momma, Dad, I’ve wanted to tell you this for a very long time but I didn’t know how you would feel about it. I’ve had this in me for a very long time now.” Taking a deep breath he finally said the words that he’d been wanting to tell his parents for years, “Mom, Dad, I’m gay.”
Nothing was said for the first few minutes and I knew they must have been thinking hard about this. Charles’ mom was slowly tearing up but that’s when his dad got up from his chair, went around the table near where he was and with his arms spread out he said, “Come here son,” That was when Charles stood up and his dad put his hands on his shoulders. “I don’t care if you are gay because you are my son and I love you and always have since the day I first held you when you were born. Just as long as you are happy and healthy and enjoying life, that’s all that matters to me.” Soon his mom came over giving him a hug too as they all just basically hugged each other tightly through the tears.
It was a beautiful moment that had me sobbing. After that moment, Charles introduced them to Simon and his mom fell in love with him while his dad admired his work. Eventually, they would all go on trips together to different places that Simon had houses in.
Charles turned around and smiled so big.
“Why hey there, Lil Pud,” I greeted him.
When he gave me a hug, it was like a familiar feeling I always carried with me.
“Melanie, I have something for you in my car that Simon got from Japan just for you.”
“How is Simon doing?” We both walked away from everyone else arm in arm.
“He’s coming home from Italy tomorrow. But he tells me often how much he loves and misses you. How have you been doing lately?
“Been working hard and still writing down my thoughts.”
“You still are writing songs. I remember always seeing you with some composition book, writing something down, singing to yourself.”
“Well, a friend of mine told me about this guy who does demos and I’m going to call him up tomorrow to set up a time for us to meet.”
“That would be great. I know you’ll do just fine with it, since it’s just a demo. Say, did your mom make her famous potato salad?”
“You know she did along with your favorite, her buttery butter pound cake.”
Charles bit his hand, as everyone knew how much he would devour my mom’s pound cake. “I always keep asking her for that recipe but she tells me she’ll never tell.”
We both laughed and continued talking more until it was time for us to head on over to my mom’s house.