Chapter Eight
You know sometimes when you experience something then you tell someone what happened to you and they don’t believe a thing you said? The reason for this is because of the fact that whatever the story may be, it probably was too hard to believe in the first place. This was part of the reason why whenever I would try and tell my story of my time with Aunt Reva, no one believed me because the whole thing was too unbelievable to believe in the first damn place.
The worst or best story is about what would happen whenever Aunt Reva would go to the deli.
Thankfully today, there was only one other person getting some freshly sliced meat at the counter.
“How may I help you ma’am?” the young lady asked who was working where they served the hot food.
Aunt Reva squared her shoulders. “Yes, I want a sample of that spicy chicken finger.”
“Ma’am, I’m sorry but we don’t give out samples anymore.”
“You must be new here. I’ve been coming to this store for years now, and I’ve never seen you before.”
“I just started last month ma’am.”
I gulped heavily at this answer. I knew this wasn’t going to be pleasant.
“Can you get someone who’s been here longer than you that knows what the hell they are doing?”
The poor girl didn’t know what to say, much less do, as she stood there mouth agape at what my Aunt just told her.
When I looked over at Anthony, he had this blank expression on his face like he had gone to another world. I just left them there, if he had been alert to see what would happen next, he would have wished he would have stayed on his home planet like I had told him to.
“You must have not heard me the first time I said it, where is Terri at? Terri, I know you are back there!” Her voice was loud and booming as some of the people from the meat department came to look.
“Terri is not here today ma’am, it’s her day off.”
“Can I have someone who knows what the hell they are doing that’s been here longer than you?” Aunt Reva repeated.
I found myself sighing as I had learned long ago NOT to say a word.
“Let me get someone for you ma’am.” She walked towards one of the ladies who had been slicing up the meat.
The lady looked over at my Aunt and I and then shook her hands at the poor girl as well as her head.
All I could think of was that maybe she had had a run in with my Aunt as well and she was warning the poor girl to not deal with her. But the girl was persistent as she pulled her arm for her to come over to her station. “Ma’am, I explained to my coworker about what you said and she told me the same thing that we don’t give out free samples of the hot food.”
My Aunt pushed down her glasses until they came to the tip of her nose while she eyeballed the other poor recipient of her tirade. “Cindy, that’s what it says on your name tag there, I’m going to tell you just like I told the little thing who doesn’t know her place that I’ve been coming here for years and they always gave out free samples and that’s what I expect from you all today to give me my free sample of that there chicken.”
The girl known as ‘Cindy’ rolled her eyes at my Aunt which was the absolute wrong thing to do.
“Oh, I know you didn’t just roll your eyes at me young lady. You do that shit again, and I’ll have your God damn job for being so damn smug!”
More people came over as she had gotten louder by the minute.
I took Anthony by the arm, pulling him back towards one of the aisle as we continued looking on.
He again looked baffled. “Why are you pushing me back?”
“You’ll thank me later that I did.”
He looked puzzled and if you could believe it, actually more puzzled than he was when we stepped into the store.
“Ma’am, I’m sorry that you thought I rolled my eyes at you but if we keep telling you that there are no free samples, you’ve got to believe us.”
“And I don’t believe you, the only person that will know of the fact that there are free samples is Terri, why don’t you call her up and tell her that Mrs. Reva is here for her free sample.”
“How am I supposed to call her ma’am?”
“You don’t know how to use a phone? My God, how the hell did you even get this job?”
That’s when the other girl named ‘Cindy’ walked into the back.
I looked around, noticing how some of the people were murmuring to each other, I knew exactly what they were saying, ‘who in the hell is this lady?’
The young girl came from behind the door with a phone in her ear as she talked quickly into the receiver, nodding her head off and on but she soon went back behind the doors to hang up the phone. The poor girl looked defeated after that call.
Now, the first thing Aunt Reva asked her was, “So she told you that I was to get my free sample?”
“Yes ma’am, she did. Go on and give her the sample.”
Poor girl, I thought to myself.
She grabbed some wax paper and took a piece of the chicken to hand it to her.
“That’s better, now that is what service is supposed to be ladies and gentleman.” She triumphed as she showed her prize for everyone to see….one lone chicken finger covered in hot BBQ sauce. She took one big bite from it, making sounds of gratification while she ate. “Now I want a sandwich, do you make them Cindy?”
Poor Cindy.
“Yes, ma’am I do, what kind of bread would you like on it?”
“Multigrain wheat and I want it to be the sub bread, the foot long one.” She stood there.
I knew what would be coming next when the poor girl asked her, “What kind of meat would you like ma’am?”
“Now the last time I came here and got a sandwich and my niece over there…” She pointed my way and it seemed every eye was on me when she did it. “She can verify it that when I came to this place to get myself a sandwich, I got that already precut meat that you guys are always peddling and when I got home and ate it, tell me that I didn’t get sick over that bad meat you guys put on my sandwich.”
“Now ma’am, we never give our customers bad meat, we cut that meat fresh every day early in the morning,” Cindy told her and said it loud enough for everyone else within ear shot to hear.
A lady, who must have been in her fifties with permed blonde hair, came over to me and I knew what she was going to ask. I had prepared myself for this moment every single time it would happen. “That’s your Aunt?”
“Yes, ma’am.”
“I don’t mean to pry but—”
“Oh. I know you mean to pry my dear, heck you wouldn’t have come my way unless you wanted to ask something. So go on and ask away.” I smiled.
Anthony shook his head and chuckled.
She was taken aback by my comment but cleared her throat before asking, “Does she always act this way?”
“For as long as I’ve been alive.”
“Why don’t you stop her?”
“I guess you must want me to have a concussion because the last person who tried to stop her from talking out loud in public was her brother who ended up being smacked in the head with her cane. I’m bold at times, but I do want to live.”
The lady chuckled and put her hand on my arm in sympathy, then walked away.
“Did she really give her brother a concussion?” Anthony asked in a quiet voice.
“Yes she did, he had taken her to the emergency room because of her ankle, which she sprained. Even though he told her to stay in the car, she refused and wanted to go inside. She saw a couple of things she wanted, so she waddled her way through every single aisle before they went to the pharmacy to put in for her medicine. The entire time, my Uncle kept bugging her about how he had to be someplace else on the other side of town in a half an hour. Well, she grabbed that cane of hers, knocked him upside the back of his head and he fell down. He found himself with a concussion. This is why I always step far away from her because there is no telling what the hell will happen next.”
“Damn.” Anthony grinned.
Aunt Reva continued, “Now I want you to slice me up some fresh meat, I want some honey ham and some of that smoked turkey too.”
When we were headed back to Aunt Reva’s, I kind of felt sorry for Anthony because I knew he had wanted to grab some groceries for himself. But of course, whenever he would try and pick up something, she would chime in, “Put that right back!”
Which he did just that without any argument back from him.
“Now you are going to help me bring my bags to the porch aren’t you?” Aunt Reva asked Anthony, looking at him through the rear view mirror which was what she had done the entire ride back.
“Yes ma’am. Wouldn’t you like me to bring it inside instead of the porch?”
“I don’t like folks that I don’t know coming into my house. Never know if they are trying to steal my stuff.”
For the record, Aunt Reva has NOTHING of value in her home. Only in her mind’s eye is everything in her home expensive. This is the same woman who ended up losing her homeowner’s insurance because she stated that a statue that she had bought over twenty years ago from one of those gift shops on her excursions to Jamaica was worth five thousand dollars.
The statue was only ten dollars and comprised of two hollowed out coconuts side by side with little straw hats and flags that said ‘WELCOME’ and ‘JAMAICA’ with the word ‘TO in between the coconuts which had painted on faces with those googly black eyes pasted in holes to make them look more lifelike.
“I don’t mind bringing them in, some of them are heavy,” he offered.
“Son, if I told you that I didn’t want you coming into my house that’s what I mean.”
I looked over and saw the look in her eyes as she slid those glasses toward the end of her nose and I knew I needed to change the subject right away. “You know I have dinner tonight with Charles and Simon.”
“Charles? Charles, you mean that friend of yours that use to come over to my house when you all was young and almost got knocked out by one of the statues in the yard.”
“Yes ma’am, that Charles.”
“You tell him I said hello and he needs to come by and see me, he was always a nice young man. Why didn’t you ever get with him?”
I tried not to laugh but I shook my head as we pulled into her driveway. “Aunt Reva, you know Charles is gay right? And he’s already with someone, Simon.”
“You could have gotten with him first.” Tussling and shaking into the abyss that was known as her purse, she looked inside and grabbed her keys. “Come on now.” She hit my leg which was to inform me to get out, so that she could give me a hug.
Making my way out and around the other side, she grabbed hold of me, giving me one of her patented ‘Reva Bear Hugs’ which would literally take your breath away afterwards. “Thanks for taking me to the store, I owe you one.”
“You’re welcome,” I replied with a huge gasp. “I hope they get your car fixed up soon.” I really, REALLY did.
“I do too, they said they were getting the part in today, so I should have it back tomorrow.” Pulling me in she whispered, “Don’t sleep with that man, he’s trouble.”
“Auntie, will you—” But she pinched my arm, making me shout out as I rubbed it quickly.
“Don’t back talk me.” And that was it, she left me there rubbing my arm while Anthony continued to bring her things to the porch. He gave her a nod as he got into the passenger side as I got back in myself.
When I pulled out of the driveway and honked the horn to see her wave, I waited for him to say something but after about a minute or so, I ended up saying something myself, “I’m sorry you didn’t get the chance to grab you something to eat while we were there. If you want, we can go back.”
“Why would you want to do that? I mean, I already got what I needed.”
“What! But how?”
He chuckled for a moment before talking again, “Remember when I told you I had to make a call. Well while you guys were grabbing your stuff, I grabbed stuff as well. Paid for everything and I put it all in the backseat with me since you left the car door open.”
I had to laugh because it was an ingenious idea on his part and brave too. So I felt pretty happy that at least, he was able to get what he needed.