Knox
“Ours not to reason why, ours but to do and die.”
—Alfred Lord Tennyson
HE’D BEEN WARNED it was a hazard of the profession.
Apathy.
Burnout.
Indifference.
Watching the sun rise from the balcony of a downtown, D.C. condominium on his forty-first birthday, he recognizes himself as the cliché he is. Apathetic. Burned-out. Indifferent Metropolitan police detective.
Shirtless, he notes the chill in the early May air, but he isn’t sure what happened to that particular item of clothing last night and doesn’t relish the thought of groping around the darkened apartment looking for it. Then again, he can hardly leave without it.
The sliding glass door behind him slips open, and he looks over his shoulder to see Senator Tom Hagan’s wife holding out his shirt with an indulgent smile on her face.
“Missing something?” she asks, walking over to join him at the rail.
He takes the shirt from her, slips it on, but before he can button it, she slides a hand up his chest and says, “Or I could just warm you up.”
He studies her almost too-perfect face for a moment, searching for an answer that won’t offend. “Gotta get to work,” he says with a deliberate infusion of regret.
“But it’s your birthday,” she says, slipping her hands around his neck and pressing her silk-covered breasts against him.
Had he told her as much last night? He supposes so because there’s no other way she could know. “Still have to work,” he says.
She tips her head to the side, a pout replacing her smile. “Can’t you be late?”
“Duty calls.”
She gives him a long look, as if considering whether he’s being truthful or not. “I actually knew who you were before we met last night,” she says.
“Yeah?”
“There was an event a few months ago. That dinner at Senator Donovan’s. You were working security. I wanted to know who you were. So I asked.”
He raises an eyebrow. “Did you ask your husband?”
She laughs a short laugh. “Hardly. Senator Donovan’s wife, Alicia, gave me the lowdown. Let’s see if I can recall. Born to parents who were both doctors. Friends in high school called you the ‘caretaker’ because you were always defending the underdogs. You went to VMI and originally intended to go to med school, but opted for SEAL mentoring sessions at the United States Merchant Marine Academy instead. Which led you to later take a commission in the Navy where you would head for California for SEAL training. And that’s how you ended up in Afghanistan fighting in the Global War on Terrorism.”
“Looks like you did your homework,” he says with little effort to conceal the sarcasm underlining his next words. “All your lovers get such thorough vetting?”
“Is that what you are?” she asks softly, kissing the side of his mouth. “My lover?”
He regrets the words as he places his hands on her shoulders to gently but deliberately push her away. “That would indicate something lasting beyond this morning, and believe me, you don’t want me past this morning.”
She considers the assertion, and then says, “Well, then. At least let me give you your birthday present.” She unties her robe and begins to slide it from her shoulders.
“Hey,” he says, walking her backwards to the open door. “I don’t think either one of us needs that kind of publicity.”
“Maybe not,” she says softly, one hand on either shirt lapel as she pulls him inside the condo’s master bedroom. “But I do need you. One more time. Because I have a feeling once I let you out the door this morning, I’m never going to see you again.”
He doesn’t bother to deny it. What would be the point? Right now, what they’d done could be called a lapse in judgment. No point in moving it into the category of an actual mistake.
She drops the robe fully then, standing before him with the complete awareness that few men had it in them to turn her down. He did have it in him. He understood all the risks associated with making the decision to go home with a senator’s wife.
But then when you’d watched people you cared about get blown into pieces too small to identify on their way out of country, well, risk became a relative term. And besides, any good plan of self-destruction required risk to end up even being worth the effort.