Tajael couldn’t really relax until they were behind the wards.
The dragons had set up the magical barriers around Charlotte’s apartment that would keep out any immortal, and it was the one place in Seattle where he could be certain a shadow angeling—or Elyon himself—wouldn’t just pop in and kill them both in their sleep.
Not that he was sure Charlotte would allow him to sleep with her now.
She was showering—washing away the awful, she said. And he’d prepared food for her, even though he only knew how to run the microwave because he’d seen her do it so often. Outside the wards, a legion of Markos’s angels stood watch. Tajael forbade Markos from talking to her about the dimensional drive. Or her experience at the Winter Court. Any of it. First, he had to make sure she was all right. Get her settled. Some food and some sleep.
The fate of the world could wait until morning.
When she came out of the bathroom, rosy-cheeked and smiling, he was certain he had never loved her more. Her hair was still wet, and a small angelsong filled him with the way it fell, dark and solid, across the shoulders of her t-shirt. Everything happens for a reason; and the reason is usually physics. He smiled at the shirt and talked while she ate, telling her how she was safe here, and they were setting up wards around the office to make that safe too—he would be there, along with a legion of other angelings, to raise and lower the wards for her experiments so they could continue.
She stopped mid-chew. “I don’t know.”
He frowned. “You don’t know what?”
“I don’t know if I should continue.” She dropped her gaze to the rest of her chicken pot pie, continuing to chew and scooping up more to put in her mouth.
He wanted her to eat.
He wanted her to decide what to do.
But he also desperately wanted her to continue her research. Not because it would change the world… because it would change her.
“Do you think Maxon will not fund the repairs?” he asked, carefully.
She still studied her dinner. “Oh, I’m sure he will. It’s his dream. One blown up lab won’t stop him.” She stirred the vegetables around.
“Isn’t it your dream, too?”
She looked up. Those beautiful blue eyes, especially when she stared into his, searching his soul, made him lost to her… and for the first time in his life, truly found. “People died, Taj. For me. For… for an experiment.”
“Angelings gave their lives to save a brilliant woman who might change the world from an evil fae who almost certainly would change it… for the worse.”
She pressed her lips together. “The king of the Winter Court—he’s evil. There’s no question of that.”
“Yes.”
“He has terrible plans. He wants to destroy… basically everything.”
“I’m not surprised.”
“I’m just not sure…” She looked down at the remnants of her dinner and pushed it away. “I’m not sure I’m ready. I’m not sure the world’s ready. Can’t we just go back to where we don’t know anything about the immortal realm? When everything was just simple and safe and… unknown?”
He didn’t think it was really a question, so he asked, “Can we?”
She scowled. “I could destroy everything. Most of it’s destroyed already. I could just erase the simulations and delete the designs and… and… forget this ever happened.” She challenged him with her eyes, but he felt she already knew the answer.
“Can you?” he asked. “Forget?” He tried not to make it sound like forgetting him was part of that question, but he felt the squeeze on his heart, regardless.
Her shoulders sagged. “No.”
“There are other scientists,” he said softly. “They could carry on the work.”
She scowled again. “And take my Nobel Prize? I don’t think so.”
He couldn’t help the smile the crept out on his face.
But she wasn’t smiling in return. “If you don’t know there are walls, then it doesn’t bother you to be locked inside them. But once you step outside… well, it’s pretty damn hard for them to contain you anymore.” She pulled in a breath, then said, “But we need to be more careful. I need to be more careful. I need to make sure that humanity is ready—that both mortal and immortal realms are ready.”
He slid his hand across the table and laid it on top of hers. “If anyone can do that, I have no doubt it is you.”
Her expression softened. “I can’t do this without you, Taj. You have to stick around. You know that, right?”
He swallowed. Because this was the part he feared most. “You could do it without me.” His voice was just a whisper. “But I was kind of hoping you wouldn’t.”
She laughed a little, then shook her head. “You know, I have a bed we can try.”
Heat ran to his face. Because this was the part he feared second most. “I hear it’s more comfortable than an angeling’s cell.”
Her eyes flashed, but she simply rose up and took his hand, leading him across the apartment, down the hall, and to her bedroom. He’d been in this room night after night, countless hours of watching her sleep. But he’d never been invited in… much less led to the bed.
His heart was pounding in his ears.
She climbed into it, scooted over, and frowned when he just stood by the side.
“What?”
“Are you sure?” he asked, trying to keep his voice steady.
She frowned. “Yes, I’m sure.” She reached for his hand and tugged him into the bed with her. She was propped up at the head, so he sat next to her, touching her cheek and her hair and the curve of her chin and marveling that he could do so. She leaned forward and kissed him on the nose. “See? Just cuddling. No worries. I’m not going to drive you mad with Lust and turn you to shadow.”
“You’ll tire of this, eventually.” Oh, how it pained him to say it!
She frowned. “No, I won’t.”
He put a hand to her cheek and gently stroked it. Then he kissed her nose as well. “I’m an angeling. Unless a shadow blade finds me, I’ll outlive you. By many, many years, Charlotte.”
One corner of her lips tipped up. “You mean I’m going to have a hot boyfriend for my entire life. Sign me up.”
He leaned in and kissed her cheek. It was already becoming hard to breathe. He pulled back. “I mean you deserve more than kisses like that.”
She frowned. “I want you. Don’t say… don’t tell me this is your way of saying…” Her eyes were showing a kind of panic.
He touched his fingertips to her lips. “I’m saying that I love you like I’ve never known you could love someone. I’m saying I want to be with you, whether in shadow or in light. I don’t care, as long as I can give you everything you deserve.”
She pulled in a quick breath. “But if you’re in shadow…”
“If I’m in shadow, and the End of Times comes, I am lost.” He smiled. “But what does it matter how or when you die… if you’ve never truly lived?”
Her eyes went wide. “You mean… you want to…”
“I want to try.” The quiver that went through him—was it excitement or fear? “If I… if I lose control, I’ll leave. I won’t endanger you in any way. You have my solemn promise on that.”
She laughed a little then put a hand to his cheek. “I’ve never been safer with any man than I am with you.” Then she leaned forward and gently kissed him on the lips. She pulled back, eyes wide, as if that simple act might turn him to shadow.
In Truth, his heart was racing, and his breathing was short, but that kiss wasn’t the cause. It was a burning need he felt—inside and out—to show the love he had for her. So he took her cheek in one hand and pressed his lips to hers. He spoke the language of his love with the soft touches and warm heat and gentle movements their lips made together. When her lips parted under his, it was like she was inviting him in, and he took the invitation in small tastes and gentle probings and then deeper explorations. Their tongues danced back and forth, as if they couldn’t decide whether they were at home in his body or hers.
He paused but only because his breathing was so ragged. “Is this all right?”
“Holy… you can kiss like that, and you’ve been holding out on me all this time?”
He smiled, but it was cut short by her coming up on her knees in the bed and straddling him. All of a sudden, the soft heat of her was all over him, even though she was fully clothed, and her mouth bore down on him, urgent and demanding. Her hands were in his hair, and his hands were wandering… over the curve of her bottom and the rough fabric of her jeans, up the small of her back, slipping inside her shirt. The softness of her skin made his fingers ache.
She pulled back, her t-shirt-covered chest nearly in his face. “Is this okay?” she asked.
“Take your clothes off.” He was too breathless for more words, and he watched as she hastily reached down to yank her t-shirt over her head and toss it on the floor. “No, wait.” His hands skimmed up her back, finding the clasp for her bra in back. “Let me take your clothes off.”
Her shuddering gasp as he unhooked the bra and slowly slid the straps down made him painfully aware of how erect his penis had become. It strained out of his toga briefs and banged into the roughness of her jeans. He thought of removing those next, but then her bra dropped free to reveal her perfectly rounded breasts, right at the level of his face. Each pink bud was tight and pointed. In wonder, he brought his hands around to caress them. They were so firm and yet soft, the nipples pointed under his palms. He gently squeezed them, and the heaviness in his hand made his mouth ache.
“Can I kiss them?” he asked.
“Oh God, if you don’t… yes!” The urgency of her voice lit a fire inside him, but when he nuzzled her breasts with his lips, her whimpers grew even more desperate. He feared he wasn’t doing this right or perhaps fast enough, but when he took one of her hardened nipples in his mouth, she arched hard into his mouth. If there was one thing Tajael had learned in all his time with humans, it was how to read faces and the secret language of the body. He had only to watch and listen… and experiment. He sucked on the tight bud, and that elicited a moan. He nibbled gently with his teeth, and a small cry came out. He moved his mouth to attend to her other breast while using his fingers to roll the slick bud even tighter.
The gasps were even more fervent. “Oh, God, Tajael.”
The thrill of hearing those words—elicited by his hands and his mouth, not her electric toy—fevered him. He could feel the surging up of Lust, but it wasn’t the wild thing he’d always experienced before, a bodily drive separate from the control of his mind. This… this was the angelsong of his Love played on the beautiful instrument of her body. This was Love-Making, pleasure-giving, and heart-sharing.
“Please. Tajael,” she panted. “More.”
He definitely wanted more too.
He lifted her hips from where they sat on him and laid her back on the bed. Then he lavished kissed on her breasts and her belly, working his way down to her jeans. He carefully undid them and slid them down, leaving her lying on the bed in panties alone. He stood and magicked his toga away, standing bare before her. She propped up on her elbows, her eyes hungry for his body, so he let her feast.
“Your cock. Holy fuck.” She swallowed. “It’s even bigger than I…” She dragged her eyes up to meet his. “Mr. Buzzy is officially jealous.”
He frowned. “Mr. Buzzy?” He knew it was a joke, but…
“My vibrator.” Her breathing was erratic, and her gaze was once more on his… cock, as she called it.
He finally figured it out. Her electrical pleasure device. “Well,” he said, sliding his hands up her legs to tug down her panties, “that is only fair. For I have been jealous of Mr. Buzzy since he arrived.”
“Oh, sweet mercy,” she whispered as he crawled back on the bed with her, his naked body sliding along hers until he was laying on top of her, skin-to-skin.
“Should I show you mercy?” he asked then cut off her answer with a deep and thorough kiss. Every inch of his body touching hers was electrified with the contact. When he broke the kiss, he dipped to kiss her neck and whisper in her ear, “Or should I show no mercy in repayment for all those nights when listened to you moan and gasp…” He moved his kisses down to her collarbone. “…and cry out my name…” He kissed the underside of her chin. “… as you pleasured yourself.”
“Oh God,” she gasped, arching up into him. “No mercy.”
He grinned at the way she squirmed under him, but it was a revelation to him that his Lust was under control. His cock was aching, there was no question. His pulse pounding. His breath quickened. But all he wanted in this world was to pleasure the woman he loved, to bring out her cries for mercy—for now, he must find a way to do that—and his own pleasure was so subsumed in that, it was as if his Lust weren’t a Sin at all.
His lips skimmed her breast. “Love is a Virtue,” he whispered.
“What?” she gasped, arching up into him again.
He slid his lips up to meet hers, then he peered down into her eyes. “I said, I’m going to fuck you.” He wasn’t sure whether it was the small lie or the hungry look in her eyes made him smile.
“Oh, hell yes,” she breathed.
His smile lasted until he slipped his hand between her legs, as he’d seen so many other lovers do. Something about the heat and wetness there made the ache in his cock surge tenfold. He knew virtually nothing of what he was doing, but again, he let her be his guide. Gently sliding his fingers through her wet heat made her moan and buck. He found the nub that was most sensitive and soon she was writhing on the bed and clutching at his shoulders.
“Oh, God, Tajael!” She bucked against his hand. “Don’t tease me!”
“I am showing you no mercy, my love.” But in Truth, he could hardly stand the separation between them. He felt driven to connect with her, to join their bodies as one, and yet, even as he nudged her legs apart and positioned his cock such that the head brushed her wet folds, he was unsure—would this final act be the end? Would this be when he turned? But with her breathing hard and begging underneath him, it didn’t matter in the slightest. He would give this amazing woman every pleasure he could.
He swiftly stroked into her body… and her cry nearly broke him. His mind whited out, everything telescoped down to the hot tightness of her body, gripping him, squeezing him, surrounding him.
“Holy angels of light,” he gasped.
She was clawing at him, wrapping her legs around him. “Tajael!” He had gone as deep as he could go and held there, his mind coming back from the glorious sensation. “For the love of God, Tajael… move!” she cried.
And so he did.
He pulled back, although it felt like leaving home, but when he plunged back inside her, it was another lightning bolt to his brain. “Holy magic,” he panted. “Charlotte. You are so very tight.”
She urged him to move again. So he pulled back and thrust again. “Fuck, yes!” As he pulled back again, she peered down between their bodies. “Holy fuck,” she gasped. “You’re so big. Holy shit.”
He stroked into her again, and her head fell back. “Yes!”
Each stroke was a new electrocution of pleasure. Each cry from her mouth urged him on. He quickened the pace, and then went faster still. Soon, he was thrusting so fast and so powerful he felt sure that he must be hurting her, but her cries just became louder and more desperate. If he hadn’t heard her in the throes of pleasuring herself so often, he might have thought differently. If he wasn’t feeling an unparalleled pleasure with every stroke, he might have doubted. But as her cries became ecstatic and her body convulsed around him, he knew this was precisely what he should do —now and every moment of every day he could.
And when his own climax hit, the power of it was like an explosion inside him. He felt his seed coursing through his body and emptying out into her. No baby would result, for that wasn’t how angelings were made, but somehow the connection between them was more complete when he literally poured himself into her. Gave her his own pleasure as well as hers.
He kept rocking and rocking, his cock still rigid even after the spilling of his seed.
When he slowed a little and finally stopped, but still stayed connected, he was surprised to see her staring wide-eyed up at him.
“Are you all right, my love?” he asked.
She ignored that and demanded in a breathy voice, “Unfurl your wings.”
“What?”
“I want to see them,” she gasped, still regaining her breath. “I want to know if I’ve just had the best sex of my life with a sexy angeling of light or a naughty shadowkind.”
He chuckled, not least because he truly didn’t care. Whether in shadow or light, he’d made Charlotte Netherman cry out in pleasure, and whichever state it took to accomplish that, he was more than ready to belong in it.
But he obeyed and unfurled his wings, watching her face the entire time, not even bothering to look. “What do you see, my love?” he asked.
“The sexiest damn man alive?”
He grinned. “And what do you see on my wings?”
She raised her hands to cup his cheeks. “The most beautiful color of white I’ve ever seen.”
His heart swelled, and he dipped down to thoroughly kiss her again. She ran her hands through his hair, then trailed them down his back, seeking his wings and feathers and where they met on his back. The way her fingers wiggled through them… his heart wasn’t the only thing swelling again.
And while his time in the shadow realm all those years ago was a painful memory he’d spent years putting behind him… it did teach him there was far more than one position in which to have sex. Or make love to the woman of your heart.
He planned to try them all.