I GRIPPED THE EDGE OF the sink, head down, breathing hard and my body still throbbing. What had I done? What was I doing? He took everything I hid away and blew it apart. He’d broken through.
Jesus, he’d found me.
I closed my eyes and breathed through my nose. In and out. In and out.
He spanked me.
And I wanted it. It turned me on. God, what was wrong with me?
I was scrambling to find the peace again. The steady control I lived with. Jasper just fucked it right out of me and I had no idea how to get it back. I needed it back.
If Drake found me . . . I needed the numbness.
God, his hands roamed over me like . . . it was like he didn’t even notice my scars. No pity. No questions. Just the raw need for one another.
Then he spanked me.
A tweak of desire hit me as I thought of his hand coming down on me, then the instant pain then . . . then pleasure. A wild release of beauty. I shouldn’t like it. But I did. Because I knew exactly what he’d done . . . he was getting me to feel. To scream. To free me from the shell.
I rubbed my hand over my butt, closing my eyes as the tenderness raised the desire in me again. I pictured him behind me, his hard thighs against mine, hands on my hips and then running down me.
“No!” I shouted and pounded the edge of the sink and turned away from the mirror so I didn’t look at myself. See the blush in my cheeks, the satisfied look in my eyes.
He’d find me. Drake would find me and break me this time. I couldn’t let that happen.
“Max?” Jasper knocked on the door.
I slid to the floor, leaning against the bathtub and pulled my legs up, resting my cheek on my knees. I didn’t like what was happening to me. It was as if Jasper was spinning the lock to my emotions and each number he got right set free another emotion in me.
“Open the fuckin’ door.” It sounded like his palm slapped the flimsy wood of the door.
“There are washrooms in the lobby.”
I heard a rough snort and then—
The door frame gave as his foot kicked it open, but it did more than that; he left a huge hole in the middle of the door. I refused to be provoked by him and kept my spot as he stood in the doorway, staring down at me.
He stepped closer and then crouched in front of me. I kept my eyes averted because . . . because I was still trying to put my pieces together and they were getting further and further away with Jasper so close.
He didn’t say anything as he stared at me, and it was the way he did it, as if he held the fragile pieces of me in his grasp. At his mercy to be crushed or gently cradled.
He dropped down beside me, knees bent, arms casually hanging over them.
It was what he did. Just like when I had a nightmare.
Every muscle in my body was strained as I waited for his smartass remark, but he sat beside me and said nothing. After a while, I relaxed and closed my eyes as I listened to his rhythmic breathing beside me.
I don’t know when it happened, but I ended up with my head on his shoulder, his arm around me, fingers slowly stroking my shoulder. At some point, I fell asleep with Jasper cradling me in his arms.
I woke in the morning, in bed, legs tangled with his and his tatted arm over top of me, my lips nestled next to a smooth, hard naked chest. And no matter how good it felt, it was wrong for more reasons than just Drake. I didn’t regret having sex. I wanted him, but Jasper was wrong. I had to remember why we were here, why he was here.
I tried to push him off me, but he merely groaned and tightened his arm around me, locking me down. “Jasper, get off me.”
“Relax, baby.” His tone was playful and casual as if we were . . . more.
“I want to get up.” Because I was already feeling moisture between my legs and what happened last night couldn’t happen again.
“Are you trying to get another spanking, because all you have to do is ask.”
I smacked him with my palm in the shoulder and he laughed, one eye opening as he looked at me. “Can you not be an ass for one second?”
“You see, you’re even thinking about asses.”
I raised my knee as hard as I could. He saw it coming and dodged out of the way still laughing. “Damage the goods and I’m not getting you off again.” He came down on top of me and his hard cock pressed into my thigh. An invasion of heat hit me and I couldn’t stop my heart from racing or the clench between my legs.
The best I could do was glower at him as he hovered above. “I can look after myself.”
“Oh, I know you can, but you won’t. Not when you have me to look after you.”
“Oh, my God,” I muttered. “That won’t happen again.”
“Yes, it will. I’ve decided I want all of you.”
“You don’t get to decide that.”
He lowered until his lips were inches away from mine and my gaze shot to his mouth and then back to his eyes. “You want to kiss me right now, don’t you?”
Fuck, yes. “No.” Last night, Jasper did way more than fuck me; he broke through me.
A slight quirk upward at the corner of his lips and then he lowered a little more, his warm breath drifting across my skin. “Don’t lie to me.” I clenched my jaw and pursed my lips together. “Fuck, baby, you’re beautiful.”
My breath hitched. He said it not in a playful flirty way, but as if he really meant it. Except I wasn’t beautiful; I was the beast with the scars all over. He was the beautiful one, but still it made me feel for that one second truly beautiful and that the scars didn’t matter.
His cell rang and he groaned, lifted off me and grabbed it from the nightstand. “Your timing sucks.” He listened for a second and then hung up. “So much for the idea of slow, lazy morning sex. We need to move. A horde of vampires were seen at the airport asking questions. They must have caught on to the ruse with Damien and tracked the plane.” He snagged his jeans off the end of the bed and strode into the bathroom. He said over his shoulder, “There is going to be a lot more than a second time, Max.” I heard the water turn on in the sink. “Babe, grab the toothpaste in my bag and come brush your teeth.”
I rolled my eyes and got out of bed, quickly throwing on clothes before reaching for his satchel. I found in it a little black leather case which had his shaver and . . . I sifted through it . . . cologne, a wad of bills, deodorant and condoms.
“Max.” His face was wet, water dripping off his chin to trail down his naked chest. I walked over and passed him the leather case. “Find anything interesting?”
“No.”
He took it from me. “I have nothing to hide. You’ll never find anything important.”
“Except for condoms,” I said offhandedly and it was more to me than to him.
He chuckled. “Ah, baby. You’re fuckin’ cute jealous.” He reached out and hooked his arm around my neck. It was unexpected and I stumbled into him. “No reason to be. I haven’t fucked anyone since the day I met you.”
Before I could even contemplate his words, he bent forward, shifted his hand to the back of my neck then kissed me. It was hard and possessive, just like him, taking what he wanted, when he wanted it. It made my heart pump madly and my stomach flip-flop as if I was jumping on a trampoline.
Just as quickly as he brought me into him, he let me go. I stood flustered and heated, the ache between my legs demanding attention. And his words were still whirling around in my head like confetti.
Jasper casually picked up his toothbrush and put toothpaste on it then stuck it in his mouth. He put a glob on my toothbrush and passed it to me.
Our eyes met in the mirror as I shoved the toothbrush in my mouth and we brushed our teeth, watching one another’s reflections. A moustache of white clung to his lips and I wanted to lick off the minty freshness and then have him kiss me again.
I didn’t know if my shield around my thoughts was wavering, but Jasper grinned and winked at me. It wasn’t with cocky arrogance, but with tenderness.
I looked away and quickly swished, finished brushing and walked out.
He came out of the bathroom a few seconds later and took a t-shirt out of his bag, pulling it over his head. I caught myself staring as his muscles flexed just before the shirt fell into place. He crouched, packed the bag and then zipped it up.
“You slept through the night.”
I jerked and looked into his charcoal eyes not realizing I was still staring at his tatted arms that had been wrapped around me last night. “Huh?”
“No nightmare.”
I threw the pillow that was on the floor back on the bed and shrugged.
“Just saying, Max. Thought . . .” He stood, picked up his bag and threw it over his shoulder. “Never mind. Let’s go.”
He held out his hand and I walked over to him and took it. I had no energy to argue with Jasper and if he wanted to hold my hand, then I’d allow it. He tossed a wad of bills on the dresser and I looked at him questioning.
“Bathroom door.”
Shit, right.
We walked through the hotel, stopping to grab water and croissants and then went out the front door where he passed the valet his car keys.
His cell rang again. “Yeah? . . . Fuck. We’ll leave it here.” His hand tightened on mine and his entire body went on alert. “She can make it.” He started walking, pulling me along behind him. “I said, she can make it.”
We were leaving the car? I glanced back over my shoulder and saw the valet searching around for us.
Jasper moved at a slow jog and I kept pace as he said short, curt answers in the phone. “No.” He glanced over at me. “Things have changed.” He was quiet and I could hear someone yelling on the other end. “I don’t give a fuck,” Jasper replied calmly. “If it comes to that, then I’ll deal with it . . . No. Too fuckin’ bad . . . Then come kill me.” He pressed end, and then threw his phone on the ground and crushed it with his boot.
“I gather you don’t like him?”
Jasper didn’t say anything, but his lips were pursed together and his jaw was clenched. After a few seconds, he ground out, “Something like that.” He nodded to the all-encompassing mountainside. “We’re headed up there and we need to make it by nightfall. You up for it?”
He could have been referring to anywhere on the mountain. “Do I have a choice?”
Jasper sighed and ran his hand through his hair. Something was off, agitating him and I didn’t think Jasper was capable of being agitated. At least not by the looming threat of vampires and some guy who may have pissed him off on the phone. “No.”
“Then why are you asking?”
He shrugged as if uneasy with the question and then he said, “Civility, sunshine.”
“Really?” That surprised me.
“Yeah.” He averted his eyes from mine then took his satchel off his shoulder, unzipped it and reached in pulling out a brown paper bag with the freshly baked croissants. My mouth watered as he passed one to me and I quickly took it and bit into it.
“What’s up there?”
He hesitated and stared up at the mountain. “A place to stay for a while. Normally, we could drive part way up, but with the vampires finding out we flew into that airport, there’s a chance they’ll eventually track the car to the hotel.”
“You think they will?”
“I’ve lived this long because I bet on every possibility.”
I didn’t know who had been on the phone, or what was waiting for me up in the mountain, but despite Jasper’s attitude, I did trust him to keep me safe, which for now, was my best option.
My legs were quivering after several hours walking through the rough terrain uphill. We’d crossed two streams and my shoes were soaked, and just when they felt dry, we came across another one. Jasper merely trudged through as if it was dry land.
I refused to complain, but as the hours dropped away with the sun and temperature, coldness sank into my bones. I shook uncontrollably by nightfall, my thigh muscles burning and the arches in my feet aching.
I didn’t think I could take another step when Jasper turned to look at me for the first time in an hour. His gaze trailed down my shivering body to my soaking wet feet then back up again.
“Jesus,” he muttered then strode toward me. He grabbed my arm and backed me into a tree. “Lean against the tree, baby.” His body pressed into mine and the heat emanating from him was like he’d wrapped me in a wool blanket.
He scowled as he rubbed my arms up and down several times. “You should’ve told me you were fuckin’ cold.” He lowered his bag to the ground and took out one of my blades. He placed it in my hand, curling my trembling cold fingers around the handle. “Stay here. I’ll be right back.” He kicked his bag closer to me so the trunk of the tree hid it, and then he pulled out his knife from the leather holster across his chest.
“Jasper—”
“Don’t move. I need to make sure the place is safe first.” He didn’t wait for a reply as he crept off into the darkness.
I stood leaning against the tree, my muscles screaming from exertion and cold, and my blade held in both hands in front of me. I was uncertain what damage I could do if I was attacked. My hands were numb and I suspected I’d collapse if I took one more step.
It was only a couple minutes before I heard his voice and then he was there in front of me again. “Max.” There was a large bruise on his cheek and he had dried blood on his lip. He caught me looking at it and shrugged. “Run in with a bear. I punched him. Fucker punched back.” There was a slight twitch at the corner of his mouth. God, I liked when he was playful like that; it made me forget the type of man he was. But maybe that wasn’t a good thing. He held out his hand. “Come on. Let’s get you warm.”
I gratefully took his hand and he bent, picking up his bag. We walked another couple minutes before I saw an orange glow through the trees. A few seconds later, a large wooden log cabin appeared with firelight blazing in the window. It was pretty massive and I had pictured something small and rustic, but this was beautiful with a wide deck in the front that had one of those double-seater wood swings.
Jasper tugged on me.
I hadn’t realized I had stopped walking and was staring at the house. I think partially it was my body finally shutting down with relief. And then it hit me . . . a woman. This place belonged to a woman of his and that was where the punch came from.
“A bear or woman?”
At first, he looked confused and then he grinned, which had me hating him more because despite my reservations on what I was walking into, when Jasper grinned so casually and without the hardness . . . it lit up my insides like a Christmas tree laden with colorful blinking lights.
“Holden—my brother.”
I jerked. “Oh.” Now, that shocked me. I hadn’t considered Jasper having a brother or family. It just seemed . . . foreign.
“I sent him on an errand. He didn’t like it. Now, can we go inside before you freeze to death?”
I nodded.
The moment we stepped inside and the heat from the fire blanketed me with warmth, I closed my eyes and sighed. Jasper led me over to the fireplace, set me down on the floor and I immediately put my hands out to warm them. He hesitated, before gently lowering his hand and stroking my hair. I glanced up at him, his fingers curled into the back of my neck and his hard features flickered in the firelight.
I swallowed, my eyes trailing down to his mouth, wanting to taste him again.
Jasper nodded. I wasn’t sure at what, then he turned away, tossed his bag on a black leather couch and walked into the kitchen and began opening cupboards.
“You like tomato soup?” He held up a can.
“Sure.”
I watched him move around the kitchen easily, as if he was familiar with what he was doing. I wondered if he had a house of his own and what it was like. Did he cook? For the type of person he was, I didn’t think he would, but I was beginning to see him differently.
I imagined him having a small house, nothing special—simple. It would be on the edge of a cliff, the ocean crashing against the jagged rocks below. He’d stand out on his porch when he couldn’t sleep and listen to the rhythmic sound of the waves.
I was staring and as if sensing me, he glanced up from stirring the soup and looked at me. The stirring stopped and my breath hitched as his grey, penetrating eyes let me in. They were naked and open and without shields. I saw him—Jasper. Casual and easygoing, but still with a wealth of self-confidence. I knew it was a glimpse of who he’d once been and who he hid from everyone.
It was beautiful.
The wood suddenly crackled and snapped, making me jump. Turning away and distracting myself, I grabbed the iron poker hanging on the hook beside the fire.
The second I did, I froze and the poker slipped from my grasp, making a loud clang as it hit the floor. The shivers were no longer from the cold but from the memories as they plowed into me. The red hot tip of the iron, the agony as it pressed into the top of my foot while Drake held me in his arms.
The smell. God, the smell of my burning flesh had been worse than the pain. I screamed and cried and begged Drake not to do it, but he rocked me back and forth while the vampire burned the bridge of my foot, killing my Ink.
“Max. Max.” Jasper crouched in front of me. “Max.” He reached forward and I jerked away. “Jesus, you’re crying.”
I hadn’t realized I’d been crying and quickly used of my arm to wipe away the tears.
He put his hand around the back of my neck, fingers weaving into my hair. It wasn’t harsh and insisting like I expected from Jasper; instead, it was gentle and comforting. With his other hand, he pushed back the few tendrils that clung to my damp cheek. “You’re safe here. You’re safe with me.”
Jasper may think so, and he was cocky enough to believe that, but I knew differently. If Drake was after me, then I wasn’t safe no matter where we were or who was trying to shield me from him. “I’m fine.”
“You can lie, but I’ll always know the truth.” I was about to argue when he leaned closer, his mouth so close to mine I could taste him on the tip of my tongue without even touching. “I won’t let him near you.”
I stiffened. “For two weeks, you mean.”
His fingers flinched on my neck. “I won’t let him have you.”
“Yeah,” I whispered.
“Max . . .” He brushed his lips against mine and instantly my stomach whirled and it was an invasion of butterflies. “Fuck, baby. I don’t know how to do this,” he said beneath his breath and then let me go. Standing, he strode toward the kitchen. “Sit at the table.”
Whatever haunted him, lived and breathed inside him, he smothered it with his attitude, his flirting, his indifference, but he was opening up and it scared me because it made me want him more.
I walked over to the long wooden table that looked like it belonged in an old medieval castle and sat. Jasper placed a steaming hot bowl down in front of me and then sat at the end of the table two seats away. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.” He took a spoonful of the tomato soup, and without looking at me, he ate.
I was stunned. Such simple words and yet coming from Jasper . . . it was different. We were different. And they weren’t just words; they had meaning.
Jasper was my mirror and we shared a similar darkness. He tried to hide it by being an asshole, by doing what he did so he didn’t have to give a shit.
I did the same thing. I rarely spoke, kept to myself, and didn’t get close to anyone except I was civil about it. I didn’t hurt anyone by how I’d chosen to live. Jasper did.
I didn’t want to care. I shouldn’t. I knew better. Jasper was clear about who he was and yet . . . he’d slid through the cracks. He was an assassin. He’d been a jerk and yet I’d seen a side to him that was genuine. I just didn’t know if I trusted him. Was he suddenly nice to me because he needed something from me? He used people. He’d told me that.
Was Jasper using me like he did everyone else?
His spoon clattered in his bowl as he dropped it, and then he pushed away from the table and looked at me. There was no cocky grin, no flashing brilliance of playfulness in his eyes; instead, what I was looking at was the man who had no compassion for anyone. And I hated it. I didn’t want to see this side of him.
“Yeah, I use people.” Oh, God, he’d read my thoughts. Horror crushed me like a hammer and I saw the hurt in his grey eyes. “You want the real? I get paid to kill people. Those I don’t kill, I use for my own benefit. And you know what, princess, I don’t give a shit if you trust me, actually it’s better you don’t. ” His lips curled into a cruel smile and a shiver tap danced across my skin, and it wasn’t from desire this time. “What? You don’t like knowing you fucked an asshole? Well, too late for that, sunshine. You did.”
“Why do you do this? It’s like a light switch you turn on and off. I never know which side of you I’m going to get.” I pushed the bowl away and it sloshed over the sides and splattered onto the table. “I don’t understand you.” I had to get away from him. From me. From everything I was feeling.
I knew what he was doing. He wanted me to hate him. It was how he protected himself, to drive people away. Well, it was working because tears welled and I needed to escape before he saw them.
Jumping to my feet, I headed for the door. I was suffocating under everything that was happening. I was a job to him; an object to Drake; a liability to everyone.
“Where the fuck are you going?” he asked.
I managed to get the door halfway open before he came up behind me and his palm slammed it shut. He grabbed my arm and yanked me around to face him then pressed into me so his chest was up against mine. “Where the fuck do you think you’re going?”
“Away from you.” I tried to shrug his hand off my arm, but he tightened his hold.
“You’re not going anywhere.”
“What are you going to do . . . force me to stay? You don’t have that power, Jasper. I’m not a prisoner.”
“You sure about that, sunshine?” he shot back.
I eyed his bag on the couch a few feet away where my blades were. He followed my gaze and then grabbed my chin. “Are we going to have an issue here?”
“We’ve had an issue since the day we met.”
“Yeah, I’ve wanted you. And I’m not letting you go.”
I had no idea if he meant as in not letting me walk out the door or more than that, but at that moment, I didn’t care. I just wanted to escape all of it. For years, I’d been dead to emotions and it was like everything inside me was exploding.
I raised my hand to push him away, but he moved to the right and then used the movement to push into my side and lift me up so I hung over his shoulder. “Jasper!”
He ignored me and strode through the house and down a hall. He stopped for a second, opened a cupboard and shuffled around. I pounded on his back with my fists and tried to kick him, but he was holding my legs with one arm.
“Jasper, let me go.”
He started walking again, then opened a door and kicked it shut with the heel of his foot. He threw me down on the bed and I scrambled to get up, but he latched onto my ankle and dragged me back. Pulling me up to the headboard, lying on top of me, I squirmed underneath him.
“What are you doing? Jasper.”
“Making sure you don’t leave.”
Then I saw it.
The sight of the rope had me screaming and yelling and punching at him. I wasn’t getting anywhere as his weight kept my movement to a minimum. Within seconds, he had my wrists tied together and strung to the post on the right side of the bed.
“I wasn’t leaving. I have nowhere to go, damn it. I just want to get away from you.”
“Well, you’re getting your wish.”
“Let me go, Jasper.”
His jaw clenched and he ran his hand through his hair. His gaze trailed up my arms stretched above my head then back to my face.
“Max . . .” He pursed his lips together and I saw the conflict in his expression, the turbulence in his grey eyes like a thunderstorm. “And for the record, I don’t trust you either.”
“You don’t trust anyone,” I replied.
He nodded. “True.” He turned and walked to the door. “You need to realize when I say something, I mean it.”
My fingers curled around the rope. “Xamien hears of this, he’ll kill you.”
He had his hand on the doorknob. “Good. He’s the only one who’s earned it.”
Shit. I couldn’t let him leave. He couldn’t leave me here like this. “I’ll go after him.” I shouted the only thing that might get his attention. “And you can’t stop me.”
He slowly turned. “What?”
“You heard me.”
“Yeah, but it was so stupid I thought I’d misheard.”
I pulled on the ropes, trying to slip my hands through. “It’s not stupid. It makes sense. Instead of us—”
“You aren’t going near him.”
“Instead of waiting for him to hunt me, it would be more productive to—”
“More productive?”
“Jasper, just untie me.”
“No.” He crossed his arms and leaned back against the door. “But please, continue. I’d like to hear your plan to go after a Scar-slash-vampire who is an ancient and can Trace. But no matter what you say, it won’t make me untie you.”
Our gazes clashed and heat rose inside me. I didn’t have a plan; all I had was frustration and . . . desire. He’d tied me up and was going to leave me here, yet instead of being royally pissed off, a sweet ache throbbed between my legs.
Screw it.
“Kiss me,” I said. His arrogant expression faltered with a subtle flicker of uncertainty and then it was steady again. “Kiss me.”
He scowled and I thought he was going to walk out the door, but suddenly, it was as if all the caged emotions broke free and he came at me.
My fingers curled around the rough rope as he hovered over me for a second, and then he was on top of me. His hand came around my neck, fingers bruising as he squeezed. “You want my cock inside you, Max? Because a kiss isn’t going to do it.”
I tried to nod, but he was preventing me from doing anything. “Yes,” I managed.
Jasper’s grip tightened and air trapped in my lungs, but I didn’t fight him, which was a test. His own test to see if I’d trust him to let me go.
Just when I thought I’d pass out, he let me go. As I sucked in air, he stole it with his mouth slamming into mine. I moaned beneath his harsh assault. It was like he wanted to punish me, yet it was filled with need and unrestrained passion.
“Sunshine.” His voice vibrated across my lips. It was a soft whisper, and yet there was nothing soft or gentle about him at the moment. It was angry and fierce as his mouth tore into mine, tongue violating, hands tearing at my clothes at the same time. He pulled my shirt up over my arms and left it there then undid my jeans and dragged them down my legs.
He swore when they got caught on my shoes and had to yank them off first.
He took off his shirt and my breath caught as I stared up at his perfectly muscled chest and carved abdomen.
He kicked off his boots and they went flying across the room, hitting the dresser. Something crashed to floor, but Jasper didn’t seem to notice, or if he did, he didn’t care. He was a wild animal trying to get at his prey, frantic that if he didn’t soon, it would disappear on him.
“Jasper. Untie me.”
“Fuck, no.” He growled and then disappeared into the bathroom where I heard drawers being opened and shut. When he emerged, I saw the condom package in his hand. He ripped it open with his teeth and then finally looked at me, shirt torn open, chest heaving, hands tied above my head.
He froze. Time stood still as we let our desire simmer over us. For those few seconds, we connected on a level neither of us expected.
I knew what he was feeling. I could see it in his smoldering grey eyes; it mirrored my own. It had been trickling from me since the day we met—there was no hiding or running from this.
The cockiness was gone and the anger had dissipated. And I saw the fear of what was between us. It also looked like he was about to run when he glanced at the door.
His brows lowered and there was a twitch in his jaw. I was losing him and despite knowing this was a bad idea, I wanted him. “I’m not going anywhere.” I gave him a playful smile as I tugged on the rope. “Kiss me, Jasper. I want you to kiss me and then I want your cock inside me.”
His eyes roamed the length of my body and there was anger and tension in him again. I knew what he was seeing—my scars. I closed my eyes, not wanting to see his disgust; afraid he’d walk away and leave me.
The bed sagged and then I gasped as his lips caressed one of the scars on my stomach near my belly button. Then another kiss on the one just under my right breast. His tongue slid over the raised surface and goose bumps scattered as I arched my back into him.
His hands settled on my hips to keep me still as the velvet heat of his tongue kissed every scar across my chest and abdomen and then . . . then he unsnapped my bra and drew my nipple into his mouth and suckled.
“Jasper,” I breathed.
His teeth grazed the sensitive peak as if in warning and then he bit down just enough to make me tense and moan. His mouth eased the throbbing pain with the tantalizing sweetness of his tongue before he repeated it on my other nipple.
Desperate to touch him, I pulled hard on the ropes, but his one hand came up and held my wrists down on the pillow. “Don’t fight, baby. Not this time.” His mouth claimed mine again and it was slow and hinted a teasing playfulness before it became forceful and claiming again.
It was then that I let him have everything—all of me. My need to escape, to have some control over this was washed away by his kiss, his touch and I let him devour me. And it was devouring as he took his time exploring my body, never once hesitating at my damaged skin.
“I’m not good for you.” His voice was ragged as he kissed my neck. “But I can’t stop.”
“I’m sure you say that to all the girls.” I tried to make light of it, but Jasper pulled back and his brows knit together.
“No, because I don’t care what they think. Just you, Max. Only you.” He sat up, his cock pressing against me, so I pushed up, needing him inside me.
“Did you really watch me for months?”
“Yeah.” Then he made a strangled groan. “Fuck, angel, I want to hand you the world, yet I can’t promise you anything.”
What he didn’t realize was he had already let me in by telling me that. “I don’t want promises.” I wanted truth and that was what he gave me by admitting he couldn’t promise me anything. “I want you. I’ve wanted you from the beginning.”
Silence. I waited, heart pumping madly, blood raging through my veins and desire throbbing between my legs.
“Jasper?” I was overflowing with anticipation of having him inside me again. And all this talk, listening to his low graveled voice, feeling his hands holding me . . . Jesus, I was sizzling.
The heat in his eyes blazed an inferno ready to assault, to wreak havoc with my body and set each piece of me on fire.
“Max,” he murmured, kissing me again.
The denial was over.
But there were no promises.
Just here and now.
His hand reached under my naked thigh and hoisted it up to his shoulder. My muscles stretched and ached, but the pain felt good as he used the bed for leverage and pressed hard into me with his weight.
It didn’t matter. I knew pain. I grew up with it and it was part of me. And for a second, I thought of Jasper spanking me and how it turned me on. Was it just him or was it the fight? Both. The shocking pain released a new kind of pleasure and suddenly I wanted that again. That harsh pain and pleasure that awakened me. Made me feel alive.
“Fuck, Max,” Jasper moaned against my mouth. “I need inside you. Now.”
“Yes,” I breathed. He bit my lip hard and I tasted the sweet iron of my blood. I licked my lip just as he slid his hand between my legs and cupped me. I swiftly inhaled as the clench intensified.
“Jesus, baby. You’re fuckin’ wet.” His fingers began to play with me and the urgency to feel his harsh thrusts, his cock filling me had me pressing my hips up, my wrists pulling on the rope that kept me locked in place.
“Do it. Now.”
I thought for a second he was going to deny me as his smoldering gaze ran over my swollen lips and then up to my half-lidded eyes. “I don’t like being told what to do.”
I kept my smile to myself, because I damn well knew that. Jasper hated anyone controlling him. He lived free from everyone, everything including his emotions. “Neither do I.”
“Then we’re going to have a problem here.”
“Yeah,” I whispered. “But you won this time.”
And that was when he grinned and a piece of me fell—hard. I knew it was wrong. I knew there was nothing good about what I felt for him. Yet he’d chipped away at my resistance and made me want to live again. Made me want to fight for something. For those I cared about. For myself.
He shifted upward and then came back down on me. I screamed at the sudden intrusion of his cock filling me. It was tight and painful. It was like he was tearing me apart and then the pleasure of being pieced back together. “Jesus.”
His lips came close to my ear as he said, “My sunshine.” And then he thrust and it was him showing me who had the control as he took me.
I didn’t care. Nothing mattered except this moment of pure, unrestrained pleasure.
Our bodies met again and again with a harsh, raw passion as he slid in and out of me. His back arched, hips driving forward with a hard rhythm that pushed against my clit.
I opened my eyes just when the orgasm hit me. There was no warning as I screamed out, my hands gripping the coarse rope as my entire body tensed. He pounded harder. Faster. Then he groaned long and deep.
He throbbed inside me as I lay completely still. Trailing small kisses down my neck, I slowly moved my aching legs off Jasper’s shoulders, and his cock slid out of me.
He lifted his head and the second our eyes met, it was something more. There was no mistaking this was a primal need, but it was a primal need undeniable by either of us. There was swirling confusion in the depths of his eyes, I had no doubt, matched my own. And maybe this wasn’t something we could deny. We’d both fought enough in our lives; maybe it was time to stop fighting.
“You good?” He tucked a strand of hair on my cheek behind my ear.
“Yeah,” I replied.
He nodded and then I saw his mouth open as if to say something else, but then he closed it and his brows lowered. He slid off me and headed to the bathroom. I watched as he rolled off the condom and threw it in the garbage.
He came back and leaned over me and his fingers slid up my arms to my wrists and then he undid the rope. The gentle caress of his hands massaging where the ropes had rubbed my skin had me moaning.
He cupped my chin, his thumb stroking back and forth. “He doesn’t get you.” He leaned closer and kissed me long and slow before he slipped in bed behind me, arms coming around my waist, tugging me in close to his naked, heated body. His breath whispered across my neck as he trickled kisses across my skin. “Just so you know, sunshine, my cock is in you. No other cock, tongue or fingers go anywhere near you.”
I stiffened. He knew. He knew Drake had sex with me.
“I hate to think about him touching you.” He tightened his hold on me. “I need you to know I’ll do whatever it takes to keep you from him. Can you trust that, Max?”
I didn’t know if I was wrong for trusting him, but without the risk, there was nothing, and I didn’t want nothing anymore.
His hand slid up my abdomen to my ribs and I stopped breathing when his finger lightly flicked my nipple; instantly becoming erect. I held my breath as my body reacted to him. He caressed back and forth over my throbbing nipple, his knuckles barely touching.
I half-moaned as I arched closer, desperate for more.
His hand stopped, knuckles resting on the cusp of my nipple. He put his leg over mine and his hard cock pressed against my ass.
“Jasper?”
“Yeah, baby.”
“We need another condom.”
It ended up being two more. When we finally fell asleep, Jasper cradled me in his arms; our hands linked, resting on my abdomen.