Valdus let the roar of objections wash over him. It didn’t matter what was said. He would be the first to try out Ava’s vaccine.

“No,” her continued protest hit square in the gut. She had no idea how close to crossing the line he was, his control at the edge.

Barrett, too, rushed to object. “Sir, I ask you to reconsider.”

He grabbed for his patience. Forced himself to take deep breaths. To remember it was the leader who needed to be front and center now. Not the man who wanted to roar at his friend for being so willing to embrace death after all they’d done to keep him from it. Or the caveman who wanted to grab his stubborn, brave female and take her away from this once and for all.

“I appreciate your offers, but it’s not happening.” His voice was surprisingly steady.

Barrett’s eyes flashed hot. “Darvish—”

“This isn’t about Darvish.” Though he understood the red-haired man’s side better than he would have liked. “This is about what’s right for the team and you’re not a good candidate. What works for you may not work for those who are healthier. Vice versa, what harms you might have no impact on someone who’s immune system is less compromised.” He watched the young man’s lips go flat and tight with each strike of the truth. “Your courage is much appreciated, soldier.” He softened his voice. “It’s just not your time yet to take one for the team.”

The man’s resigned nod tore at something inside Valdus, but he forced himself to stay the course. Sometimes you had to be cruel to be kind.

“This is my vaccine.” Ava didn’t wait long. “I should be the one to try it out.”

Another wave of fury. He fought it. Along with the words he knew would only widen the gap between them.

It wasn’t that he didn’t understand her ferocity. This vaccine was hers. Born of her pain and her struggle and her refusal to be cowed. Hollisworth had taken every bit of control from her. Finding the vaccine and destroying the nanotechnology inside her was her way of fighting back. Of wrenching back control of her life.

And he was standing in the way.

“You’re not the ideal candidate, either,” he told her before she could start arguing further, “your body weight and muscle mass is too different from the rest of the crew. Plus, there are…mitigating circumstances,” he knew she wouldn’t want him mentioning the heat technology in front of the others, “that might complicate your reaction and, again, make it impossible for us to tell if what works on you will work on the others.”

Her eyes flashed with fury—and suspicion.

Heat prickled across his neck. He didn’t blame her. His explanation was solid, but his motivation murky. The needs of the leader blending with the impulses of the man until he wasn’t sure where one left off and the other began.

“Valdus—”

He cut her off. “It will be me.” His gaze moved from her simmering one to rest on each of his men. He wanted to forestall further discussion.

“Sir,” Barrett’s voice was tentative, “are you sure—”

“Decisions been made,” bellowed Ryker. “This is not a democracy, gentlemen.”

Valdus gave his second a grateful chin nod. The man might be an asshole most of the time, but he got it.

Who lived. Who died. Who sacrificed for whom. That was his burden and his responsibility to bear as Commander. He didn’t pretend there were easy answers or that he always got them all right, but he knew without a doubt this was the only way he could live with himself and keep his men protected, shouldering the burden and living with the consequences.

“Call me when Bain’s done and the vaccine is ready.” Though he fought it, his gaze drifted to Ava once more, the flare of betrayal in her stare cutting deep. But he’d had to play the bad guy many times before with his men and survived. “I’ll be ready.”

Without waiting for an answer, he turned away.

“Well?”

Ava jumped, the metal rod almost slipping from her grasp. “Well, what?” Her voice was too sharp, betraying the tumult inside.

“Well, why aren’t you hauling ass to the other side of the cave?” asked Ryker

As if she’d fall for that. “This needs to be stirred continuously. There’s no room for failure.”

“That’s enough to keep you away?” He grabbed the rod, his massive paws dwarfing hers, and started stirring with her. “Doesn’t seem too difficult.”

“Neither is a little kindness, but you fail at that continuously.”

A bark of laughter from the few gathered around the ore.

“Clever,” agreed Ryker, but his expression remained somber. “It’s a hellish job being both leader and an ordinary man.” His voice was deceptively casual, his whole focus seemingly on the ore. “One of the loneliest places to be in the world. Unless you find someone strong enough to handle the burden with you.” He switched to the other hand. “After that stunt you pulled with Hollisworth and then the sabanthers, I thought maybe I’d gotten it wrong before. That you were strong enough to be worthy of a guy like Valdus. Guess I was wrong.”

Spine snapping straight, she snarled. “You are not wrong.”

She was strong enough to handle Valdus. His burdens and his fears.

Ryker’s hand closed over her. “If this vaccine fails, these might be the last moments you have with him.”

Her heart stuttered.

“Take it from me,” he continued, “ending things in anger with words unsaid will haunt you forever.”

Pity twisted through her. She thought of the woman who’d loved Ryker long ago.

“Don’t.” As if he read her thoughts, his expression hardened. “I’m an asshole. Always have been. Don’t make me into anything more.”

“I hear that loud and clear.” But inside she wondered. And thought more about his advice.

She had enough regret to last a lifetime. Enough words she’d kept bottled inside.

Lifting her hands from the rod, she shot Ryker a narrowed glare. “Stir just like I was doing. No faster or slower. Don’t mess this up.”

His eyeroll was her only answer.

She took a breath. “You really are a world class asshole, but there’s no one I’d want more to be Valdus’s second.”

His eyebrows crept to his hairline. He opened his mouth. No words came out.

It was nice to finally have the last word.

Especially since the conversation that was coming might not be so easy.

Squaring her shoulders, she marched toward Valdus.