Ettrian

Her hair looks like the fury of an ocean, but shines like the sun’s rays. Her cheeks are pink, eyes wide, lips so tempting that I stifle my urge to kiss her.

I never kiss, but I want to kiss her. I want to kiss and lick every inch of her body.

I’ve never let any women in my house, in my bedroom. It’s always been a tavern or a barn, a hotel, a parking lot, a bathroom in the pub, a bathroom in the casino. I fucked them and forgot them.

Kai feels good in my bedroom. She feels good in my bed, in my arms. She feels perfect in my arms like she belongs in my arms. Like she’s part of me.

I watch her crawl off my bed. She stands in front of me, and I sense her anxiety.

“I’ll take you to the gate,” she says. “I’ll take you because I want to keep my promise. But after the trip, I will never speak to you again.”

“Get out of my room,” I say.

She rolls her fingers into fists and storms out. The door slams shut. I sweep my arm and slam my fist against the wall, breaking three of my fingers. They bleed, but I don’t feel the pain. My heart is crumbling into pieces and it’s agony. I want Kai to come back and say that everything will be alright. But she doesn’t come back to me.

I slip into a pair of jeans, grab my t-shirt, cut, and boots, and go for a ride.

I like my bike and I always enjoy speeding along the motorway, but not today. Today, I want to knock someone’s teeth out. Today, there’s a dense fog in my head and I feel sick.

I roar along the motorway for two or three hours then I park in front of a pub and walk in. As my eyes roam over the interior, I notice a group of human females around one of the tables. They raise their eyes to me and shoot me curious glances.

“What?” I growl. “You haven’t seen an elf?”

They drop their heads and an awkward silence layers the pub. I love silence. As I settle myself on the bar stool by the counter, the bartender hurries to take my order. She blinks nervously and her voice falters.

“I’m crazy only when I’m very pissed off,” I say and she nods at me then shakes her head and takes a sharp breath like she’ll burst into tears at any moment.

Over the centuries, I’ve learned how to deal with humans. The modern world requires me to reveal my true origins to keep my true origins secret. That’s crazy, but that’s humans who think I’m crazy.

I sip beer and try to calm the hot whirl of my thoughts. Strange. My thoughts are never hot. They’re always calm or cold. Now, my mind resembles that of an average human—a total hot mess. A burning blur. Insanity.

I think about S’Ylla and my heart leaps. Yes, leaps. She didn’t love Theo. She enjoyed him for a while in her cold detached way. Theo’s son? Well, I like him. I like him very much and I’m a bit cross with my sister because of what she did to little Rebel. Of course, all the women in the compound are like mothers to the boy, but he needs his own mother.

Yep, I care. I care more than any other elf would and that kind of intrigues me.

My glass is half-empty as I move it away, tilt my head to the bartender as my goodbye and decide to go back to the compound.

Kai

I try really hard to avoid him, but unfortunately my dad asks him to join us during supper. Micah and Talia come over for dinner with their boy twice a week as the others join us around our dining table a few times a month. Theo and his boy are regarded as a permanent addition to my immediate family. It’s been like this since S’Ylla left.

So, we spread around the table as my mom and Adva deliver the food—both vegetarian and ‘normal’—this is how my dad calls meat.

Ettrian shoots me a cold glance from across the table, a cold glance like nothing happened last night. What a jerk.

I drop my head and focus on eating, but my stomach is filled with butterflies and there is not enough room for the food inside of it. I want to throw up. I’m shaky.

My dad and Ettrian discuss our means of anti demon and anti angel protection as my mom shoots me a curious glance. A half-smile plays on her lips.

“Are you okay, sweetie?” Mom asks.

Adva turns her face to me then looks at Ettrian who glances back at my grandma like he wants to kill her. The air around us thickens like a storm cloud and I feel breathless. My fork screeches against the plate and everybody stirs in their seats.

“Somebody died or what?” Dad growls and looks at me. “You look like haven’t slept for ages, Kai. Go to bed earlier and stop reading books at night.”

“I like reading books,” I snap, “and there’s no other entertainment in this fucking middle of nowhere except books.”

“You’d better mind your tongue,” Dad says, shakes his head and turns his face to Ettrian. “Beer?”

“Sure,” Ettrian says.

“Kai, Murray,” Dad tilts his head to us.

Murray rises from her seat and goes to the kitchen as I follow her closely behind. We grab four bottles of beer and three glasses and carry them to the dining table.

I slam one of the glasses on the top at Ettrian’s right elbow and fill it with beer. He looks at me like I’m the ugliest worm he’s ever seen. Tears prick my eyes. I’m not a worm. I’m just a mermaid. I’m not as beautiful as human women, but my dad regards my mermaid mom as the most beautiful woman in the world. And he is a former angel so it can’t be that bad.

Ettrian’s hand reaches for the glass and he raises it, but he doesn’t tip it to his lips. He just freezes. Our glances collide and a clinking sound makes me shudder. The smell of beer circles around me.

“Fuck,” my dad says.

My glance travels to Ettrian’s hand. Blood is covering it in thin streams and the thick drops of redness splash against the floor.

Ettrian

Kai takes the broken glass from my hand and starts pulling out the shards stuck in my palm. My blood contaminates her skin.

“Kai,” I say. “I can manage.”

I don’t want her to stop though. I want her little fingers to touch me forever.

She takes a closer look at my palm. “It’s healing.”

For the first time ever, I regret that I’m an elf. If I were a human, I’d heal such an injury for three days at least. There would be a lot of opportunities to enjoy Kai’s little fingers touching me—she’d clean my wounds, she’d change the bandage, she’d pitied me.

Rive hands Kai a piece of cloth.

“And some warm water, please,” Kai says.

Murray puts a bowl on the table and Kai wipes the blood away from my hand.

“Done,” Kai says. “Now you can clean the mess you did.”

“I can do this,” Murray says. “Ettrian’s not well today.”

“I’m fine,” I growl.

“He’s still growling,” Kai says. “He’s fine.”

Our glances meet. She’s still holding my hand in hers for some mysterious reason. I wish I weren’t an elf and I wish I could lie to her. I’d tell her I am very unwell and she’d pitied me. Maybe she’d pitied me enough to take me to my bedroom like previously and she’d stay with me the whole night.

“I’m fine,” I say.

“Maybe you should go to bed,” Kai says.

I nod at her. I feel very tired. Tired like never before. Tired like life has evaporated from me and left only the heavy shell of my body.

Kai stares at me for a moment, then her face softens and she loops her arm through mine. “Maybe it’s elven flu or something. Come on. I’ll walk you to your bedroom.”

They’re so compassionate, those little mermaids. So kind and caring. Kai is the kindest of them all. The most beautiful of them all.

Theo erupts into laughter. Adva chuckles and Murray looks at me with concern.

I wish I had a very bad elven flu, but unfortunately elven flu doesn’t happen. Elves are immune to all the bugs of the world. We die when we’re decapitated or stabbed straight in the heart.

I rise to my feet and sway.

“Fucking hell,” Kadmiel rumbles. “Go to bed, man. My wife’s been cooking, but—“

He has no chance to finish, because Rive nudges his chest with her elbow, making him huff.

Kai leads me to my room. “Are you going to be okay for tomorrow?”

“Tomorrow?” My head is hazy like a rainy autumnal morning.

“Our trip, remember?”

I bow my head. “I am okay.”

“Something is wrong with you, no offence.”

“I don’t know, Kai. I’m dizzy, nauseous, and I have these butterflies in my stomach. Strange, isn’t it?”

“Are you fucking in love or something?”

“I don’t know. There is one woman—“

“One? Only one? I’m sure there’s at least three of them. I heard some rumours, you know. You guys sometimes gossip like chicks.” Her tone is casual, but her jaw muscles twitch and her eyes blink a few times in a row.

“One woman,” I say.

“Thank God, it’s not me. I’m a girl, right? A nasty mermaid girl.”

“Yes, you’re a girl.” I nod.

Her arm shivers against mine as we enter my bedroom. “Have a good rest. We’re going on a long trip tomorrow. Don’t be late.”

“5 am. You’re always late. I’m good at timekeeping.”

My comment makes her widen her eyes. Her cheeks tinge with dark red. Her lips part. My hand jerks to grip the back of her neck and push her on her knees so I could drive my cock into her mouth, but the last remnants of my rationality restrain me. I bring my fist to my chest instead.

Yeah, I’m sick.

This disease is called ‘your dick replacing your mind’.