I roll over and stretch my arm out to find him, but what I find instead is a cold and empty other half of the bed. I sit myself up on my elbow and look around the room.

He’s done a runner!

And to think, I’m the one with the bad reputation.

I try to give him the benefit of the doubt so I swing my legs over the side of the bed and head out to the living area of his flat. That’s empty, so I move towards his bedroom, hoping he’s in his en suite shower. That could actually be pretty perfect, I think as I glance down at my bobbing morning wood. I’m majorly disappointed when I get there and find it empty, looking unused.

“Caleb, where the fuck are you?” I mutter to myself as I head into the kitchen to make a coffee. I know he often goes to the gym before a shoot, but after yesterday, I really didn’t think he’d just up and leave without so much as a goodbye kiss…or blowjob.

Fuck, his mouth on me yesterday was so good.

I fist my cock as I stand waiting for the coffee machine to wake up. I see movement out of the corner of my eye and look up. Staring back at me from her kitchen is our nosey neighbour across the street in just a towel. I’m unsure if she looks fascinated or concerned with my body covered in colourful bruises.

Fuck!

I give her a quick wave before moving away from the window that’s allowing her to see me in all my naked glory. I’m confident it’s not the first time she’s seen my bare arse, but I don’t need to give her the wrong idea. I may have indulged in one or two—or loads—of women in my time, but they were just a body when I needed one. Women are gorgeous, all those soft curves, but it’s men that really get me going. Hard lines, muscles, cocks. If I’m being honest, it’s not men; it’s one man. One man who left my bed while I was sleeping. I really fucking hope he’s not regretting it already. He’s spent so long fighting what’s between us that I guess doing a one-eighty isn’t going to go as smoothly as I thought it might.

I glance up at the clock. In just over an hour, I will see him at the studio for his shoot. At least I should be able to read his reaction to me being there even if I don’t get a chance to talk to him.

I finish making myself a coffee before heading for a shower to sort myself out.

* * *

Although I think I’m early, I’m actually the last to the studio. Everyone’s already getting everything set up. The shoot is happening in an old warehouse with massive windows over looking the city behind. The props are all vintage. There’s an array of old looking light fittings, ladders and furniture. Unfortunately, Caleb is nowhere to be seen.

“What the fuck happened to you?” Paul says when he looks up at me. Until I saw the look on his face, I’d almost forgotten about the state of mine.

“It’s nothing. I got jumped on Friday afternoon,” I lie smoothly.

“Shit. Did you get a look at them? Call the police?”

“No, they were gone as quick as they came. I wouldn’t be able to identify them.”

“That’s shit. Are you sure you’re okay to be here? That looks pretty sore,” he asks, nodding towards my face.

“I’m fine. I’d rather be distracted than sat focusing on it.”

“Fair enough. Right, go get the equipment. The van’s just outside,” he instructs and I head off to do as I’m told, pleased that my first job of the day isn’t to find the nearest coffee shop.

Unfortunately, that request comes in once I have the contents of the van inside the studio. I grab my notebook and take everyone’s coffee and breakfast orders before leaving, feeling disappointed. I strung out asking for everyone’s orders for as long as I could but Caleb didn’t appear and I couldn’t put off going any longer.

When I get back, laden with coffee and Danish pastries, the photo shoot is in full swing. I take a few seconds to appreciate the person under the spotlight at the other side of the room. The lighting is perfect and picks up every line and muscle of his lean body. The only problem is that he isn’t alone. Leah is stood way too close for my liking with her hands on his chest. It takes a while for me to identify the feeling that starts weighing me down the longer I stand there looking at them, but I soon realise it’s jealousy. I’ve never been jealous over a man before, and I’m not sure I like it. Sure, there’ve been times in my life where I’ve been jealous of others. I used to look at other kids at school and wish my life was like theirs. To be fair, I would have had any life that didn’t include my stepdad. But this kind of jealously is new.

Someone barks an order, making Caleb and Leah move and for me to step farther into the room. My movement catches Caleb’s attention and his eyes narrow slightly as they lock on to mine. I’ve no idea if he’s pissed off or just shocked to see me. I’m hoping for the latter and that it’s a nice surprise, but I’m not so sure.

“Are you waiting for them to get cold before you give them to us?” some smartarse asks when they see me with my arms full of their coffee.

I swear to God, when I do get promoted I will never talk to any assistant the way some of these lot do to me on a shoot. The majority of the photographers I work with are incredible. It’s the others, the creative directors and the models. It’s like I’m a piece of shit on their shoes.

I politely dish out the coffees, hoping I give the correct one to each person, before joining Paul where he’s changing the lens on his camera.

I look at the set up of the shoot and around the room for a few minutes before I notice something. “Wouldn’t it be better to shoot over in that corner? I know the window wouldn’t be in the background but the light is incredible.”

Paul looks over to where I’m pointing and pauses for a minute before agreeing with me. “Good shout, Taylor. Let’s let this guy do his thing,” he says, referring to the man clearly in charge of this shoot, “before suggesting changes, but I think you’re right.”

I thought spending the day watching Caleb do his thing would be awesome. Unfortunately, by the time the day is out, I’m aching, fed up, and exhausted. Oh, and a little frustrated that I’ve spent hours looking at that body but not been able to touch.

“Hey, any chance of a ride home?” I ask after knocking on Caleb’s dressing room door. He’s stood in front of a mirror rough drying his hair with a towel and wearing only a pair of boxers. The sight improves my mood instantly.

“You didn’t want to mention that you’d swindled a job here today then?” he asks, sounding a little pissed off and completely ignoring my question.

“I arranged it weeks ago. I thought it would be fun.”

“Fun?”

“Yeah, spending the day staring at you seemed like a good idea.” I see him soften a little with my answer.

“Seemed like a good idea?”

“Yeah, well, I kinda forgot I’d end up spending the day being bossed around and having to look at you from a distance when I know how fucking good this body feels under my hands,” I explain as I step up to him and run my hand around his hip to grab his arse.

“Taylor,” he warns.

“What? No one can see us.”

“It’s not that.”

“Oh no you don’t. You’re not backing away after last night.”

“I just—”

“Don’t trust me. I know. Let me prove myself to you. Please,” I say. “I’m willing to get on my knees and beg if necessary,” I add with a wink.

Caleb doesn’t respond so I go to drop to the floor, more than willing to prove this point to him. I didn’t get a chance to taste him last night, and that’s something I want to rectify as soon as possible.

Before I get very far, Caleb reaches out and grabs my forearm. “Not here. Let’s go get dinner.” I almost argue but I’m fucking starving, and not just for him, so I agree and wait while he gets dressed.

“Taylor?”

“Yeah?” I ask, lifting my head from where it was resting against the wall.

“Maybe we should order a takeaway,” Caleb says with a smile.

* * *

I fell asleep on the sofa not long after I’d polished off the curry Caleb ordered when we got home last night. I vaguely remember him pulling me from the sofa and depositing me in my bed. I was disappointed when I realised he didn’t stay with me but I was so exhausted that I soon fell straight back to sleep.

Thankfully, I wake to the sound of him banging around in the kitchen.

“Hey, sleep well?” he asks when I appear in the doorway a few minutes later.

“Like you wouldn’t believe.”

“I think I would from the snoring coming from your room,” he says with a laugh.

“Come here,” I say as I reach out and grab the fabric of his t-shirt in my fist and pull him to me.

“Morning breath,” he says, turning his head away from me. “Brush your teeth and then I’ll consider it.”

“You’ll consider it?” I ask with a raised eyebrow. “You don’t get a choice,” I say over my shoulder as I make my way to the bathroom to do as I’m told.

“Better?” I ask when I reappear. I blow a stream of minty fresh breath into his face and wait for confirmation.

“Ugh, if I have to,” he tries to say seriously, but his twitching lip gives him away.

I repeat my earlier move and pull him to me by his t-shirt. “I like this,” I admit when he’s flush against me.

“What’s that exactly?”

“This. You. Being able to do this,” I say, before lowering my lips to his.

“How long until we have to leave?” I ask when I eventually pull back from our kiss.

“Twenty minutes.”

“Plenty of time,” I say as I begin to push him in the direction of my bedroom.

“No it’s not, and I need a shower.”

“You smell perfect to me. At least let me get you all sweaty before you shower.”

“Taylor, no, we haven’t got time,” he says seriously, trying to shove me away from him.

“You’re serious?”

“Yes. Delayed gratification is a good thing; it’ll be worth it.”

“I’m not a patient man, Caleb,” I warn as he rushes out of my room.

“That doesn’t surprise me,” I hear shouted back.

“For fuck’s sake,” I mutter as I look down at my tented boxers. This is going to be a long arse fucking day.

And I’m right. We’re still at the studio well past 8pm. The shots we get are golden—well, Paul and I think so, anyway. The director, not so much. He insists we keep reshooting even though we lost the best of the light hours ago.

By the time he calls it a day, I’m almost as irritated as I was when we finished yesterday.

“Thank fuck for that,” Paul groans next to me as he starts disconnecting all our equipment. “I promised Nancy I’d take her out to dinner tonight. I’m gonna be in the dog house.”

“When aren’t you?” I ask with a laugh. We both know Nancy is way too laid-back and understanding to do such a thing—especially where work is concerned.

Once we’re packed away, I go in search of Caleb. I once again find him in his dressing room, only today he hasn’t just got out of the shower. He’s still in it.

I quietly close the door behind me and turn the lock. I pull my t-shirt over my head and drop it to the floor as I make my way over to the steamed up shower door. I lose my shoes, trousers and boxers just before reaching for the handle. Caleb is stood with his back to me and his face up towards the stream of water. I take a couple of seconds to appreciate that fine arse with water running all over it but I can only stand there so long because the temptation to touch is too much. I step forward and run my hands down his sides and around to rest on his stomach. He physically jumps and, much to my amusement, screams like a girl.

“It’s just me, calm down,” I say before kissing across his now slightly stubbly jawline. My hands run down his back and grab on to his arse as I pull him to me. His body lines up perfectly to mine. “Fucking love these lips,” I mutter quietly before placing mine against them. I push him back slightly so we’re both under the torrent of water.

“Taylor, we can’t do this; we’re at work,” Caleb argues when I eventually let him pull back.

“We’ve finished. Everything’s packed and people are leaving,” I say reassuringly as I start to kiss down his neck. “I’ve been waiting to have you all day.” I know he’s only arguing because he thinks it’s the right thing to do. I can feel his hard cock resting against mine, telling me what he really wants. And that’s okay with me, because if he’s worried about being caught, it’ll only make it hotter.

He soon stops trying to disagree when I drop to my knees and immediately take him in my mouth. I watch the water pouring down over his chest and stomach as I work him slowly in and out.

“Taylor,” he groans in pleasure, and the sound alone has me closer to the orgasm I’ve been craving all day.

Just before he’s about to empty himself in my mouth, I pull back and stand up.

“Wha—”

“Turn around, bend over, and put your hands on the tiles,” I demand.

He does as I ask and I quickly reach for the condom and sachet of lube I dropped on the floor outside the shower door.

In seconds, I’m wrapped up and ready to go. I squeeze a blob of lube on my fingers and set about prepping Caleb for a short, hard fuck.

He flinches and tenses up when I first touch him but he soon relaxes.

“Ready?” I ask, but I don’t give him time to answer because I know he is. Bending my knees, I line myself up. I thrust forward and whatever it was Caleb was about to say comes out as a grunt instead.

His arse is so fucking perfect. If I knew it would be so good, I wouldn’t have let him keep putting this off as long as he did.

“Fuck, fucking love this,” I grunt out between thrusts. “I’m gonna come in your fucking arse. I want to feel you coming, too. You ready?”

“Uh…huh…yeah,” he agrees.

I reach around and take his cock. I move my hand at the same speed I thrust into him. I feel the first twitch of his approaching orgasm just as my balls draw up and I lose myself entirely. I think I call out but I couldn’t fucking tell you if I said anything understandable, or how loud I was.

“Fuck,” Caleb pants as he stands and rests his head on his forearm, leant against the tiled wall.

“Fucking right.”

* * *

“Leah,” Caleb greets as we both step out of his dressing room a while later. She takes one look at us and starts to smile and nod. “What?” he asks but I don’t need to hear her answer. The way she’s looking at us says it all.

“The walls between the male and female dressing rooms aren’t that thick, you know,” she says with a laugh.

“Shit.”

“Don’t; it was hot. Until next time,” she says, before flouncing off into the distance.

“I told you it was a bad idea,” Caleb complains.

“Oh shut up. She loved it. I bet she’ll get herself off thinking about it later—that’s if she hasn’t already.”

“Ew, really?” Caleb asks as he slaps my shoulder and starts walking out.

“What? It was hot!”

“For fuck’s sake, Taylor.” I know he’s not being serious so I keep quiet and catch up with him. “I owe you dinner. What do you fancy?”

“You.”

“I’m being serious.”

“Steak.”

* * *

“I fucking hate this,” Caleb announces once we’ve ordered.

“You hate being out on a date with me?” I ask, a little confused about what he’s trying to say.

“Are we on a date?” The smile he gives me tells me that it’s not being with me out in public that’s his problem right now.

“I haven’t ever been on one before. Going out for a meal, all this wining and dining stuff hasn’t ever really been on my radar before.” When I look up and see the grimace on Caleb’s face, I realise I need to stop referring to my past if I’m ever going to convince him that isn’t who I am now. “Yes, Caleb. I’m pretty sure this is a date. I actually kinda like that you’re my first,” I say, changing tact.

“It’s not like I’m going to be involved in many other of your firsts, is it?” he says sadly.

“Oh, I don’t know. There’s a lot of stuff I haven’t experienced yet,” I say, thinking about my lack of any kind of romantic relationship.

“Like what?”

“Holding someone’s hand in the street. Being someone’s boyfriend. Falling in love.” I don’t miss the giant swallow Caleb does at my last point. I’m not saying I’m in love or anything; I’m merely pointing out that I never have been. I am, however, eluding to the point that I’m pretty sure I could be falling—and falling fast—now he’s giving me this chance. “So what was it you were going to say?” I ask when it becomes clear he isn’t going to respond.

He blinks a few times and looks around the room as he tries to gather his thoughts. “I hate that everyone’s looking at you like you’re some kind of thug just because you’ve got some bruises.”

“I hadn’t noticed,” I admit as I stare directly at him. “My focus has solely been on you.” His mouth drops open a little but I see the corner of his lip twitch.

“Is that so?”

“My focus is always on you. You’re always the best looking man in any room and the only one whose bed I want to end up in.”

The past week’s been pretty incredible. Taylor’s been everything I hoped and imagined he’d be. I’ve seen no sign of him wanting anyone else but me, and I couldn’t be happier. Sex with him is like nothing I’ve ever experienced before. It’s intense. It’s not always rough like he warned me about, though; there are moments when he’s the most gentle and loving guy—the kind of guy I told myself I wanted but convinced myself that Taylor would never be. He holds my hand while we’re watching TV at night. He stops and gives me little kisses just because he feels like it. Everything he does strengthens my thoughts about him being the one. If only I could fully trust him. I still have this nagging feeling that he doesn’t really want this, that he’s going to get bored of me and want to go and find someone else.

“You’ve got two minutes to get your naked arse into the bedroom,” Taylor growls in my ear. “The washing up can wait.”

Thankfully, I’ve only had a couple of jobs this week and they’ve both been in London. It’s meant we’ve been able to spend as much time together as possible as we both try to adjust to the new us. Taylor seems to have easily fallen into our new routine, involving him sleeping in my room every night instead of his own. I seem to be finding myself questioning everything a little too much. It’s like I’m trying to find any excuse possible to prove he doesn’t want this. I fucking hate it and I wish I could just enjoy what I’ve got instead of looking for clues about what’s possibly going to happen tomorrow, next week, or next month.

I turn and dry my hands on the tea towel as I watch Taylor pull his t-shirt off as he disappears into my bedroom. I follow suit and I’m only in my boxers when I go to step into the room. Unfortunately, a knock on the front door halts my progress.

I pull the door open and find two people I was not expecting looking back at me.

“Mum, Dad. What’re you doing here?”

“We came down to help Beth out with some last minute wedding plans and thought we’d stop in on the way home. Are you going to invite us in?” Mum asks, taking a small step towards me. I don’t get to respond though, because another voice sounds out through the flat.

“I said you have two minutes to get your sexy arse in here; what’s the hold—oh!”

Mum’s eyes go over my shoulder before she gasps oh my God and covers her mouth with her hand. Dad looks over my shoulder for a second before he raises his eyes to the ceiling.

“Fuck, I’ll go get dressed,” Taylor announces, and I turn around just in time to see his naked arse disappear back in the bedroom.

Fuck, fuck, fuck. This was so not how I wanted to have this conversation with my parents.

“I think you should probably do the same, don’t you, son?” Dad suggests as he brings his eyes back down to me.

I walk over to where I discarded my clothes not so long ago and pull them on as Mum and Dad walk sheepishly into the apartment.

“Tea, coffee?”

“Yes please,” Dad says, as Mum is still stood looking shell-shocked.

“Are you still coming to Paris this weekend?” Mum asks, speaking for the first time, but my answer gets interrupted by Taylor’s arrival.

“I’m so sorry about that.”

“I made you a coffee.”

“I was actually going to head out…give you guys some peace.”

“No, that’s not—”

“I think that’s for the best,” Dad interrupts.

Before I have a chance to argue, Taylor is out of the door, leaving me alone with them. I’m not ashamed or embarrassed in any way about my life; there’s just something ingrained in me that doesn’t want to disappoint my parents, although I’m well aware I need to man up and tell them who I really am.

“So…” Mum prompts, “Are you still coming to your sister’s wedding?” It pisses me off somewhat that her main concern here is whether or not I’m going to cause drama at the wedding she’s been waiting for.

“Of course I’m still coming. It’s my sister’s wedding. I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

“And what about him?”

“What about him?”

“Is he coming?”

“I…uh…” I don’t have an answer to that question. I’ve put off mentioning to Taylor that I’m going to Paris this weekend. I know he’s going to want to come with me, and that would’ve meant having this conversation.

“Caleb, there’s no need to look so worried. We’ve known about this for a long time,” Dad says reassuringly. I look over and give him small smile because, although he seems fine, Mum looks anything but happy. “I was worried for a while that you weren’t interested in anyone, so it’s nice to know you’re not alone down here.”

“This is all new. Taylor and I have only just got together,” I admit.

“But he’s been your roommate for a long time now.”

“Yeah, he has. Nothing’s happened before now, though.”

“You should bring him to the wedding.”

“I don’t think that’s such a good idea,” Mum interjects.

“Why not?”

“What would your grandparents think?”

“Penny! I’m sorry, Caleb,” Dad says.

“What? It’s true. They won’t understand all this,” Mum says, waving her arm around. “They expect Caleb to get married and have kids…not this.”

“Is that what you think they want for me, or what you want for me?” I ask, starting to get pissed off.

“I…uh…”

“I can still do those things, Mum. I can get married. I can have kids. Okay, so maybe it’s not the traditional way you’re imagining, but so what? I won’t live a life just because people expect me to. I want to live the way I want to. I want to do what makes me happy, not you or my grandparents.”

Mum totally ignores my rant. At least, I presume she ignores it, as she decides not to respond. Instead, she reaches over to the bags she set down next to the sofa. “Beth wanted us to give you these. She said you were picking up your suit, but your tie is in there along with some stuff she can’t fit in her and Daniel’s cases.”

“Right, okay,” I say, taking the bags from her and looking inside.

“Come on then, Simon. We should be heading home.”

“I thought we were going to suggest having dinner?”

It’s clear from the look on Mum’s face that not only has Dad just seriously put his foot in it, but she has no intention of hanging around.

I give Mum a kiss on the cheek after saying goodbye. She turns on her heel and starts marching towards the stairway.

“She’ll be fine. Just give her some time to get used to the idea. I think although we knew, she held out hope that Beth’s wedding might not be the only one.”

“I can still—”

“I know,” he agrees. “Like I said, just give her time.”

“Okay, thanks Dad.”

“We’ll see you soon.”

I shut the door behind them and lean back against it. It’s weird; I always presumed it would be my dad who would have an issue with me being gay. I know Mum has all these visions of brides and babies, but I thought she’d be able to see that all of those things are still possibly in my future.

I grab my phone after falling back onto the sofa. I find Taylor’s number and hit call. It rings and rings and eventually goes to voicemail.

“Where the fuck are you?” I ask the empty room.

I start thinking about having Taylor there with me for Beth’s wedding. It’s not something I’ve allowed myself to think about before, because I didn’t think it was something I wanted, but now my parents know about us I can’t help but think I want him there by my side.

I try phoning him again but it goes straight to voicemail this time. What the fuck?

An hour later and I’m sat staring at the television—although I have no idea what I’m actually watching—when the buzzer goes off. I don’t even think about it, I just press down the entry button, thinking Taylor went out in such a rush that he forgot his keys.

“Hello?” I hear shouted into the flat after I walk off into the kitchen to open a bottle of wine. The voice isn’t one I was expecting.

“Hello?” I say back, heading to the door.

“I’m looking for Taylor.”

“And you are?”

“Matt. Taylor and I usually meet up when I’m in town. I tried ringing him but there was no answer, so…”

Knowing that one of Taylor’s regular hook ups is stood not only in front of me but at my front door makes my temper flare.

“He’s not here, and he’s not interested,” I seethe.

“And who are you, his boyfriend? Taylor doesn’t do boyfriends. He wasn’t wrong about his roommate being hot though, so if you’re feeling a little lonely, I’m sure I could help,” he says as he steps towards me. I presume it’s meant to be sexy, but there’s something about this guy that I really don’t like. It may well just be because he’s had a taste of what’s now mine.

Before I realise it’s happening, I’m reaching my arm out and swinging the door shut. It slams in his face and I can’t help but feel pleased with myself when I hear him complain about his nose. “Your loss. If you change your mind, Taylor’s got my number. And if you both want to play, I’m more than game.”

I walk away from the door, grab the bottle of wine, and pour myself a huge glass.