Jamie

 

It was dinnertime by the time I pulled up in front of the clubhouse. The building was ominous, reminding me of a hulking warehouse. I wondered if anybody lived there, and what the conditions could possibly be like inside the building. A little girl was in there. Not just a little girl, but Gigi. I couldn’t imagine it.

 

A row of bikes sat out front along the wall leading to the door. They were all roughly the same. I had never understood the appeal of motorcycles. I liked a little more metal between myself and the road. Maybe it was the crash I once witnessed as a kid. A man wiped out on his bike not fifty feet from where my dad had stopped our car at a red light. The man on the bike ran the light and was hit by a car in the intersection. After almost twenty years, I still hadn’t forgotten the way he flew through the air, and the sickening thud as he hit the ground. Something like that was enough to get a kid away from motorcycles for their entire life.

 

My hands were shaking, I realized. What sort of men were inside the building? Who were they? What did they do besides ride their motorcycles? I was pretty sure I didn’t want to know. The club members were notorious for getting into trouble—bar fights, vandalism, disorderly conduct, plus rumors of other even less savory activities. I shivered, not wanting to go inside. They weren’t exactly my cup of tea.

 

Then I thought about Gigi. None of it was about me. It was all about her. With that in mind, I got out of the car, my hands clenched into fists. I was ready to defend myself no matter what it took. As long as I got her out of there safe and sound.

 

I knocked on the door. I saw light coming from inside and heard the sound of voices. A girl came to the door. She was probably barely legal, wearing more makeup at one time than I’d worn in my entire life.

 

“Yeah?” She looked me up and down, sneering a little. I tried to hide my distaste.

 

“I’m here for Gigi.” My voice was strong, demanding. I couldn’t be intimidated by her or any of them. My hands were still clenched in fists at my sides.

 

Her face changed, softened. “Are you her mom?”

 

“No. So she’s here?”

 

“Yeah. Who are you?” Just then, the girl was brushed aside. A man took her place at the door, and he was much bigger and more intimidating than she was. I felt my resolve weaken, then reminded myself again of why I was there.

 

Holy hell, I realized. He was her father. There was no denying it. They had the same eyes, steel gray, and the same nose and cheeks. She was his.

 

“Are you Gigi’s father?”

 

“Like my friend here asked, who the hell are you?” He had a menacing growl to his voice.

 

“I’m her teacher. I’m Jamie Hollis.” I raised my voice to be heard over the voices inside.

 

“Miss Jamie!” The sound was music to my ears, and tears sprang to my eyes when I saw Jamie running toward me. I bent, scooping her up into a bear hug.

 

“Oh, sweetie! We missed you so much in school this week!” I held her, breathing her in. She was safe. My heart was so full of relief I could hardly think straight.

 

I stepped into the clubhouse, not caring whether or not I was welcome, and looked her over. “Are you okay?” I asked.

 

“Fine.”

 

“Nobody hurt you?” I heard her father scoffing, but I kept my eyes on her. I didn’t care what he thought of me, or what he thought of the way I thought of him. As far as I was concerned, he was scum.

 

“No. They’re all pretty nice. Especially Traci and Erica.” Her voice dropped to a whisper. “I wanna go home.”

 

“I know you do, sweetheart.” Only your mommy’s not at home, honey. My heart broke for her. She was safe, but where was Rae?

 

I stood, facing Gigi’s father. “You know my name. Who are you?”

 

“Gigi’s father. Or so they tell me.” He sneered, looking me up and down.

 

I cringed a little under his gaze, then reminded myself who was the teacher and who was the criminal. I squared my shoulders and faced him down.

 

“That’s great. Did you have a name before that, though?”

 

He snorted. “Lance Richmond.”

 

“Looks like you have a problem, Lance.”

 

“You don’t know the half of it, Jamie.”

 

I didn’t like the way his eyes bored into me, like he was trying to see my thoughts. I turned my head away, breaking eye contact. Jamie tugged at my hand.

 

“I’m playing a game with Erica and Traci.”

 

“You go over there and play, then.” I smiled, patting her on the head. She hurried back to the coffee table, where a board game had been spread out. One of the two girls playing with her was the one who answered the door. I turned back to Lance.

 

“What’s this all about?”

 

He shrugged. “Your guess is as good as mine, lady.”

 

“Was this the first time you met Gigi?”

 

“Honey, this is the first time I ever heard of Gigi.”

 

“Don’t call me ‘honey,’ please.” The words fell out of my mouth without me thinking about them.

 

“Sorry. Miss.”

 

That was better. “So you didn’t even know she existed?”

 

“Nope. I hadn’t seen Rae since I dumped her. She was starting with the needle. I don’t do drugs, none of my people do drugs.” He looked serious. I appreciated that, at least.

 

“So, then what? Nothing from her for all these years? Not even a child support payment?”

 

He shrugged again. “I can’t explain it either. I’ve been thinking about it all week, God knows.”

 

“She’s been here all week?” My eyes went wide.

 

“Yeah, and she’s still alive. Go figure.” He rolled his eyes at my shock.

 

“I’m sorry. I didn’t expect you would have taken care of her all week is all.” He hardly looked the type. The only word that came to mind when I looked at him was “dangerous.” He was a dangerous man. His tall, broad body could inflict pain if he wanted it to. His mouth could easily curve into a smile or a snarl. His hands were big enough to squeeze a person’s throat until they stopped breathing. He had a coldness to him, an insolence. And he was the leader of the most dangerous bunch of people in town. How could I think otherwise?

 

Then again, his daughter was happily playing Candy Land in the middle of the clubhouse. It was all too bizarre for words.

 

“What’s next, then? I guess you haven’t found Rae.”

 

“Good guess. She’s a ghost.”

 

I shivered at his use of the word—I had already wondered to myself if she wasn’t maybe dead. Who knew the sort of people she was mixed up with? They were likely capable of anything.

 

“I went to the house today. Still empty and dark,” I said.

 

“Yeah, we’ve been keeping an eye on the place, too. Otherwise, I’ve been asking her dealer friends to contact me if they find her.”

 

I shook my head. “Rae’s been clean for ages. I don’t know that she relapsed.”

 

He sneered. “Please.”

 

“It’s true. She was proud of herself for it. She does drink, though.”

 

“Once a junkie, always a junkie. Especially with heroin.” He sounded like he knew what he spoke of. I decided not to ask how he was so well-acquainted with it.

 

“Well, none of them have seen her, I guess?”

 

“Nobody has any idea where she is. Most of them act like they don’t even know who she is.”

 

“They might not. I’m telling you, she’s trying.”

 

“Sure.” He shook his head. “She’s doing a great job, isn’t she? Leaving her kid here.”

 

“Your kid, too.” I watched as he winced.

 

“Yeah. Mine, too.”

 

She looked happy enough. I couldn’t help but smile, watching her laugh with the girls. I hadn’t seen her like that at school. She was always so serious. A funny thought crossed my mind. There, she only had to be a kid. She didn’t have to worry about her mommy, or how she would eat, or where her winter clothes were. She could relax for once and be a kid.

 

“What are you going to do with her? I mean, let’s say you never find Rae. Let’s go worst-case scenario. She went off on a binge and OD’d. It happens when people relapse.”

 

“Right.”

 

“So what are you going to do? She can’t grow up here, obviously.”

 

He eyed me up and down. “You said you’re her teacher?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“And you care so much?”

 

“She’s sort of my special student.” I couldn’t help admitting it.

 

“I guess she’s lucky to have somebody who gives a shit about her.” He sounded grudging in his praise, but I would take it. I got the impression he didn’t give praise freely.

 

“I do. I want what’s best for her.”

 

“Well, I’ll tell you one thing. I’m not putting her in any foster home.” He sounded adamant.

 

“What makes you say that?”

 

“I grew up in one.” His grim tone told me everything I needed to know. I knew better than to press the subject.

 

We stood side-by-side, watching Gigi play. It warmed my heart to see her looking happy. How bizarre, a little girl looking happy in a place like that. Beer signs on the walls in bright, glaring neon. A bar along one side of the room. A pool table, a pinball machine—all right, she might like a pinball machine. Dart boards. Sofas, chairs, a big-screen TV. I thought I saw a video game system on a shelf. All right, she’d like that, too.

 

Still, it was a very adult place. The people I watched walking to and fro, from one room to another, were tough, scary-looking men. They weren’t the type to mess around with. They were dangerous. And a seven-year-old was in their midst.

 

I couldn’t let things go on that way.

 

I turned to Lance, reminding myself to be determined. “I want to take her home with me.”

 

His eyes went wide when he turned to me. “What?”

 

“I mean, come on. She doesn’t need to be here. I’m sure you don’t want her here—why would you? You have your…business to take care of. You need to let her go with me so that she can be in a more wholesome environment.”

 

He blinked once, twice, then burst out laughing. “A wholesome environment? Where the hell did you come from? I didn’t know they made them like you anymore.”

 

My cheeks burned. “I mean it, though,” I insisted. He wasn’t going to get me to back down. “She belongs in a home with somebody who cares about her. I know her, I care about her. We have a good relationship. She’s comfortable with me—you saw the way she ran to me earlier. You have nothing to worry about.”

 

He looked me up and down, like he was considering my offer. I had hope for a minute there. I stared intensely, hoping to convince him with the strength of my conviction.

 

My heart sank when he shook his head. “No way. It won’t happen. She needs to stay here.”

 

“But why? It makes no sense!”

 

“She’s my daughter, and I’ll decide what makes sense for her.”

 

I sighed in exasperation. It was like talking to a brick wall.