Chapter 15

 

I glanced down at my phone then shoved it back in my pocket. Both my father and Knox were trying to reach me, but I refused to answer either one of them. It was getting dark, and I still hadn’t gone home. I didn’t even listen to the voice mails either one of them had left. I just wanted them both to go away – for everything to go away.

I decided to cut through the park at the end of the road. Our house wasn’t far, but it was quiet enough there, so I knew I would get the chance to stop and think. I wasn’t certain what I wanted to think about – perhaps Knox. Perhaps what I needed to do next. A voice inside me that told me it would be better if I were to just run away – I was an adult, I could start my life fresh somewhere else.

But then, I knew that my father would die if I did that to him. I needed to at least tell him the truth, but I wasn’t even sure how I would to do that now. He would be devastated to hear I was pregnant – and that Knox was the father. To make matters worse, by now he would knowI’d been hiding it from him for months – he would be crushed.

I wanted to ignore the thought that crept into my mind – it would be better for me to just jump off the bridge in the center of the park and disappear into the murky water down below. Of course, there were plenty of other people in the park and I had no doubt in my mind if I were to do that, someone would ruin my attempts at ending my own life.

I knew it was selfish – I knew my baby didn’t deserve to have his life cut short because I was sick of living mine. Now, I wasn’t so sure I even wanted to have this baby anymore, either. I’d been dreaming for so long of the family I would have with Knox, and now none of it mattered. He’d thrown me aside like I was nothing.

I stopped on the side of the bridge and looked down. The thought of jumping off the side made the bottom look much further down than I remembered, but once again, the thought kept appearing in my mind and this time, I wasn’t so sure I just wanted to dismiss it. It seemed like it would be so easy, just to dive over and have the decision made for me. The water was likely very cold and the impact alone, wouldn’t be great for me.

I leaned over, thinking if I were to move quickly, no one would be able to stop me. They would just see me go – sure, they might call for help, but they wouldn’t be able to do anything about it. Or, at the very least—they would have to work quickly to even save me.

“Meagan! Don’t you dare!”

Knox’s voice suddenly cut into my thoughts, and I turned to see him running toward me. He could see what I was thinking of doing, and seeing him made me want to go through with it all the more. On a sudden impulse, I grabbed the rail and started to pull myself over, but I was heavier now, and it was harder to raise myself up.

Knox caught me quickly, grabbing me and pulling me to the ground. “What are you thinking?” he shot at me as I tried to wrestle free.

“You let me go! I don’t want to live anymore! I don’t want any of this!” I cried.

“Are you crazy? What kind of talk is that?” he was yelling and breathless, from fear as much as frustration.

“You lied to me, Knox! I don’t care what you have to say now – you never loved me and when you got tired of me, you just dumped me!” There were tears running down my face.

He let me go as his face paled. “That is even crazier than jumping off this bridge – I have loved you more than anything in my life. I had to leave when I did before when you were seventeen because I didn’t think I could control myself around you, and since you and I have been together, I have been happier than I have been in my entire life!” He was speaking with a strange vibration in his voice.

Trembling, I stared at him. “Then why did you just dump me like I was nothing?” I sobbed. I knew the answer, but I didn’t agree it was a good one.

“I was scared for you – and I thought it was the right thing to do,” he replied.

I could see the pain in his eyes, and I shook my head. “You said that I wasn’t old enough to be able to commit to this, but I think that you’re the one who doesn’t want to commit. I wanted to be with you Knox, and I still do. I don’t care about our age difference. I don’t care if I’m on the tabloids. I don’t even care what my father has to say about it. I love you – more than anything, and I want to be with you!” I had tears running down my face, and I felt certain he would be angry with me.

Then to my surprise, he merely sat there for a moment and looked saddened before he spoke, “You know what…I want that too,” he said at last.

Now, it was my turn to look shocked. “What?” I asked.

He stood up and helped me to my feet. “I want that too. I have wanted it, but I also knew it was selfish of me to want that. I thought I would be a better person for letting you go. For you to have a future with someone else, maybe someone younger. It’s because I love you that I tried to let you go. For your sake.” He sighed. “But you’re right, I have been afraid to commit to you, but Meagan, you are the woman who has made me happier than any other woman has in the past, and I love you dearly. I think about you day and night. I didn’t ever want to hurt you. I want to have this baby with you, and I want to enjoy our lives – as a family.” He looked so upset. “I was wrong about it. So wrong. I didn’t realize…” He shook his head. “Let Kelly tell the entire world. I don’t care about that anymore.I’m proud of us!” Knox didn’t wait for me to reply, but rather he leaned down and pressed his lips to mine.

I stood on the tips of my toes with my arms around his neck, passionately kissing him. I didn’t care who saw – I didn’t care about anything but him.

“You might be young, but if you’re certain this is what you want…Meagan Thompkins, will you marry me?” He looked deeply into my eyes as he asked.

I felt my heart skip a beat. There were going to be so many things we would have to work out, but it didn’t matter. This is what I wanted.I’d always loved this man for my whole life. And now, he finally told me he loved me too. This is what he wanted. All that mattered—was us.

“Yes,” I said with a smile.

His expression told me everything as his eyes shone with joy.

“Yes, I will marry you.”