LAUREN

 

 

The rest of the night was divided between being intoxicated by Tyler’s scent and feeling guilty. Tyler was Gabe’s brother. Half-brother. I was with Gabe. Not Tyler. I shouldn’t be having the thoughts I was.

I must have fallen asleep at some stage as I was woken the next morning by gentle tapping on the door.

“Come in,” I said croakily.

“Hey.” Tyler walked in holding a cup of coffee and a paper bag. “Here. I figured you were more of the morning coffee sort of person judging from your reaction last night.” He placed the coffee and the bag on the bedside cabinet. “I got you a croissant too.”

Tyler’s chest was drenched in sweat. He must have just returned from the gym and I wondered if he had slept at all.

“Look,” he said as I sat up, wrapping the sheets close to my chest. “I’m sorry about last night. I gave you my word and I very nearly broke it. It won’t happen again. I apologise.”

I took a sip of the coffee. “It wasn’t all your fault.”

“It was.” He crossed, then uncrossed his arms, nervous hesitation shadowing his movements. “Do I have your permission to discuss something with you?”

I took another sip and nodded, my heart thudding in my chest.

Tyler shifted uneasily before perching at the base of the bed leaving a large space between us. “Do I have a chance?”

“What do you mean?”

“What can I do to let you know I’m serious, to get you to choose me?”

I wanted to burrow down into the sheets. Conflicting thoughts battled in my head. I was attracted to Tyler. Majorly attracted to Tyler in a way I had never been to Gabe, but I was with Gabe. Beautiful, sweet Gabe. “There is no choice, Tyler. There is no competition. I’m with Gabe.”

“But if you weren’t?” he asked, shifting a little closer.

“I am,” I said firmly.

“But if you were free, if you weren’t with him, which of us would you choose?”

“Tyler,” I warned.

He stood and shook his head. “Sorry,” he apologised, running his hands through his hair. “I shouldn’t have said anything. I know you are with Gabe but I also know the way you look at me. It’s not just in my head, Lauren. You want me as much as I want you.”

“Don’t say things like that,” I said breathlessly.

“But you want it to be true. Why won’t you just admit it?”

“Because there’s no point. I could never hurt Gabe like that. I’ve had someone do it to me and believe me, it rips your heart out. I won’t be that person.” I took a deep breath. “Besides, you only want me because you can’t have me.”

“That’s not true.”

I laughed, tossing my mind back to all the things Gabe had told me about Tyler, and all the times he had annoyed me. I needed to concentrate on those and not the way he smelled, or the way his shirt clung to his chest, the way his pants hung from his hips. “It is, Tyler. It was just last week that you brought a date to the boxing match. Clearly your attention is elsewhere.”

“I always take a date to events like that. It doesn’t mean anything.” He crossed his arms, looking at me intently.

“I’m sure the women you date would be thrilled to hear that.”

“I never promise them more than I can deliver. They know what they are getting into. Besides, they are just friends.”

My mind went back to when Gabe said something along the same lines. “Is that a Thornton code of honour or something? It’s okay to treat women like rubbish as long as they agree to it?”

“When have I ever treated you like rubbish? And the fact that it annoys you so much tells me something.”

“It doesn’t tell you anything,” I said, tugging the sheets tighter. “But it does tell me something. It tells me that I am nothing but a game to you. If you were serious about me, you wouldn’t have brought her.”

Tyler lifted one brow. “If I don’t bring a date to the investor’s party, that will say to you that I’m serious?”

“I’m ending this conversation.” I threw the sheets off the bed and got to my feet. “None of this matters. I’m with Gabe.” I stood before him, arms crossed and glaring. I didn’t want to be in this position. I didn’t want him to bring to light all the doubts I was already facing.

Tyler glared back at me, his eyes burning into mine. “What can I do to make you love me?”

“You want my love now?”

“I’ve always wanted your love.” Tyler smirked and my irritation at his arrogance rose.

“I thought your intentions were more of the flesh.”

“Of the flesh? How biblical of you.” Tyler quickly crossed the distance between us, all promise of staying away from me vanishing. Stopping a hairsbreadth away, his eyes trailed down to my lips, my neck, my chest. “Fleshly desires. Sins of the flesh,” he growled. “Why can’t my intentions be both?”

My heart pounded, but I took a step back. “Please, Tyler.” My voice broke on his name. “Don’t do this.”

“Why?” he asked. “If you really have no feelings for me, what does it matter?”

I looked to the ground, not trusting myself. “Because I’m scared of what I’ll do.”

With my eyes still trained on the polished concrete floor, I felt, rather than heard, Tyler’s laboured breathing. He was so close to me. Just a slight adjustment of his body position and he would be pressed against me. I waited as part of me begged for him to leave and part of me begged for his lips on mine, his hands to roam my body. With a final sigh, Tyler walked away, leaving me lost in the large room, my heart pounding with exhilaration, fear, and guilt. 

* * *

I felt defeated on the flight home. Tyler had called Jimmy to collect me and take me to the airport. I was pleased for the space away from him, hoping my thoughts would clear before returning to my life. The one where I dated his brother. As I pulled up outside my house, I noticed all the curtains were pulled and Gabe’s jeep sat parked on the road outside. After pulling into the driveway, I grabbed my pack and inserted the key into the lock. The house was dark, but it vibrated with the sound of machine gun fire.

“Hello?” I called out gingerly.

“Welcome home,” Gabe called.

Gabe and Stefan were lying on the floor of my lounge, backs propped against the couch, eyes glued to the TV screen. Gabe paused the game when I walked in and got to his feet.

“Hey,” he said, pressing a kiss to my cheek.

“What are you doing here?” I asked.

“You have far better food in the fridge,” was Gabe’s cheeky reply.

“Aren’t you supposed to be in class?”

Wrapping his arms around my waist, he pulled me close, his lips brushing against the skin of my neck.

“Gabe,” I said, pushing back from him. “Why aren’t you in class?”

“It’s boring.”

“It’s boring?” I repeated.

Gabe shrugged and sat back beside Stefan who was sighing impatiently at being made to wait. “It’s just one day,” He took the game off pause.

After my encounter with Tyler, the last thing I needed was to come home to find Gabe slacking off and playing games. All the frustration I felt earlier in the day came flooding back.

“Well, make yourselves at home,” I said angrily and stormed from the room.

The sound of gunfire stopped abruptly and I heard Gabe tell Stefan to leave. “Just take my car,” he said.

Stefan snorted. “Good luck.” And then the outside door slammed shut.

Once I knew he was gone, I stormed down to the bedroom and slammed the door shut behind me, letting Gabe know just how pissed off I was. I sat on the bed, staring at my reflection in the mirror when the door creaked open.

“You okay?” He peered around the corner.

Anger seethed under my skin, but I knew it wasn’t really directed at Gabe. It was directed at myself. “Why didn’t you return my calls?”

The bed dipped as Gabe sat beside me, reaching out and taking my hand in his. “Sorry, the boys and I had a big night last night. I got your messages. At first, I was a little annoyed that you were staying with Tyler. What was I supposed to think? But then Jake called and I knew you were safe, but by that time I was rather drunk. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you.”

“I had no choice. The city was all booked out.”

“Jake said.” Gabe squeezed my hand. “I missed you.”

“It doesn’t sound like it.”

He brushed his lips across my fingers. “Did you miss me?”

“Of course I missed you,” I said gruffly.

Leaning over, he pressed a kiss to my cheek. “How much did you miss me?”

I tugged my hand away from him and stood. “I’m annoyed, Gabe. I’m annoyed you didn’t call me. I’m annoyed that I had to spend the night with your brothers with no idea how you felt about it. I’m annoyed that you got drunk and ignored me. I’m annoyed that you skipped class.”

Gabe grinned. “I’m getting the impression you might be annoyed.”

I groaned and rolled my eyes. “I’m serious here, Gabe. What are we doing? Where are we heading?”

Gabe held out his hands. “Whoa. Where’s all this coming from?” He poked his bottom lip out, pouting delightfully.

A small smile tugged at the corners of my mouth.

“I’m sorry,” he pleaded, taking my hand in his again. “I didn’t mean to annoy you. I just really couldn’t stand another day sitting in that stupid class as the tutor droned on and on about things that don’t even matter. I promise I’ll go back tomorrow. It’s only one day.” He pulled me into him, placing an arm around my shoulder. “And as for all that other stuff, does it really matter what we are doing, where we are going? I’m happy, you’re happy, isn’t that enough?” He pressed a kiss to my scalp and tightened his embrace. “You’re happy, aren’t you?”

I nodded against his chest and Gabe reached down and placed a finger under my chin, tilting my head upwards until I was looking at him. His warm blue eyes shone as he slowly lowered his lips to mine. A shot of electricity tingled through me when our lips touched and with an urgency I didn’t know I felt, I reached up and threaded my fingers into his hair, pulling him closer, wanting him to soak into my skin and make everything right again. Gabe moaned as I reached down and stroked his crotch, his hardness growing under my hand. Fumbling with the buttons of his jeans, I struggled to release him, surprised by my need to feel him inside me. With lips still locked on mine, Gabe stood and dropped his jeans and underwear to the floor, only releasing from our lip-lock as he lowered me onto the bed. I fumbled with my own pants as he hovered above me, his eyes set where my flesh was exposed to him. Pushing my thighs apart, he moaned again when he saw the wetness gleaming at the apex of my thighs.

“God, Lauren,” he said. “Maybe we should fight more often.”

I reached up and pulled his head to mine, silencing him with my mouth. Gabe entered me quickly and hungrily, grunting in pleasure as my wetness engulfed him. He tried to rise above me, but I held him close, murmuring words in his ears which I knew would be his undoing. I didn’t want him to pleasure me. All I wanted was for him to wipe the memory of my attraction to Tyler away. I kept my eyes trained on his face as he moved in and out, his eyes rolling back in his head as I gripped his shoulders.

“I want to taste you,” he said.

I shook my head. “I just want you.”

Gabe stilled inside me, looking at me questioningly as his faintly copper-stained hair fell into his eyes. “Why won’t you let me?”

I pushed him off and climbed on top, sinking down onto his hardness. “I just want you,” I repeated, slowly rising and then falling as my hand pressed on his chest. Still crouching, I got to my feet so I could move easily, lowering myself up and down. Gabe became transfixed with where our bodies met, his eyes dark with passion and desire as I rode him until he couldn’t stand it anymore, and he lifted me off and tossed me onto the bed. Driving into me, he fucked me hard until he cried out in pleasure, pulsating before slumping over me. I kissed his cheek, his nose, his shoulder. He shuddered as I took the lobe of his ear in my mouth, biting it just a little.

“What are you doing to me, Lauren Greer?” he asked.

“Nothing,” I replied as he rolled off, flopping his arms out wide, one falling across my chest.

“Believe me,” he drew in a deep breath, “that was not nothing.” Turning to his side, he faced me. “Billie called.”

“She did?” I swallowed the tight constriction in my throat at the mention of Billie’s name. “What for?”

I waited for the news. I waited for Gabe to tell me what I already knew, but he didn’t.

“She’s insisting on us going to some family dinner next weekend. I tried getting us out of it but she was quite insistent and she said you’d be fine with it. Do you know what it’s all about?”

I shook my head, then changed my mind. “She has some news but she’s asked me not to tell you.”

Gabe flopped back onto the bed. “Please don’t let it be another fashion show.”

Running fingers over the black inked letters that marked his side I studied the words. Don’t die wondering.

“It’s not,” I said.