Over the next four days, Lance grew more and more frustrated. Tricia was managing to elude him at every turn. When he called her, she wouldn’t answer the phone; when he came to see her, he was told she wasn’t at home. In fact, every time he visited the shop, she never seemed to be working. She was going out of her way to avoid him. After how he’d treated her, who could blame her?

All of this was his fault, he could see that now. Some people viewed the world through rose-colored glasses, but he’d been wearing blue-tinted shades for years, shades that cast a shadow on everything and everyone. Since the day his father had succumbed to the Lambert’s trap, Lance had lost his faith in people. He trusted his sister, the McCoys, and a few other long-time acquaintances, but even with them, he maintained a healthy skepticism. Lance tended to expect the worst. Like Deke Rogers had been so fond of saying – expect the worst and you won’t ever be disappointed.     

Since visiting Avery and Marcelle, the ice encasing his heart had begun to thaw. He’d lain awake last night thinking about Tricia. He’d let his hatred for the Lamberts cloud his judgment. She was nothing like them. She wasn’t guilty of what he’d accused her of, he’d sat in judgment of Tricia with only the flimsiest of evidence to convict her. Well, he intended to correct his mistakes, get back into her good graces. Lance was determined to make her fall in love with him again.

Desperate to see her, he’d visited the florist shop earlier and purchased a large bouquet of fragrant, purple lavender from a very suspicious Bryn Harmon. Now, he was lurking on a street corner, hoping to way-lay the woman who had avoided him all week. Lance knew Tricia well enough to be aware of some of her habits. If he wasn’t sadly mistaken, she would be passing this way shortly.

On Wednesdays, his good girl went to worship services. Since the First Baptist church was located only three blocks south of the florist shop, she usually walked. Today, the weather was clear, there wasn’t a cloud in the sky. Hopefully, she hadn’t utilized the services of Uber Freddy. The guy was beginning to get on Lance’s nerves. It didn’t take a genius to figure out he was hopelessly attracted to Tricia. Who could blame him? Between Freddy and the female Musketeers, they’d blocked his every move, forcing him to lurk behind a mountain laurel bush, waiting for Tricia to come strolling by.

“Hey, Mister, whatcha doin?” Lance glanced down to see Sheriff Kane’s son, Dwayne, staring at him while licking a chocolate ice cream cone.

“I’m waiting for someone.”

“Can I wait wiff you?”

Lance nodded to the Opie Taylor look-alike. “I suppose so. Where’s your mom and dad?”

“Dad’s at his office and Mom is coming this way.”

He pointed down the street where Lance could see Lilibet Saucier strolling down the street with…Tricia. She looked like a ray of sunshine come to life. What he’d heard about pregnant women was true, she was radiant with child. His child.

“Are you a real cowboy?”

Lance stepped back into the bushes so he wouldn’t be readily seen. He didn’t want Tricia to spot him and veer off into another direction. He’d prefer to not have to chase her down the street if he could avoid it. “I make my living riding horses and chasing cows, so yes, I guess I am.”

“Do you wanna lick?” Dwayne held his cone up toward Lance.

“No, thanks.”

“If I come to your house, would you let me ride a horse?”

“Maybe. The horses at the ranch don’t really belong to me. I just work there.”

“Who’s them flowers for?”

Another voice chimed in. “Yes, Mr. Rogers, who are the flowers for?” Lilibet Saucier asked as Tricia stood a few of feet away. 

Lance locked eyes with Tricia and held out the purple lavender. “They’re for this lovely lady, if she’ll accept them and my apology.”

Tricia tentatively raised her hand and accepted the flowers.

“Well, you two have fun, I need to get home and feed my family. The sheriff comes home hungry.” She gave Tricia a wink. “Thanks for donating the centerpiece for the altar next Sunday, I know it will be a special occasion. Dedicating two babies at one time! We haven’t seen that in a while!”

“I’m happy to do it. Both families are very special to me.” All the while, she hadn’t been able to look away from Lance. He was staring at her as if he were seeing her for the first time. “See you later, Lilibet. Bye, Dwayne.”

Once they were alone, Tricia buried her face in the lavender. “Thank you. I’ve never received more beautiful flowers.” Or any flowers, for that matter. “I understand you’ve been wanting to speak with me?”

“Yea, I have. It’s just been hard to get past your first line of defense.”

When a couple of women passed by, eyeing them with speculation, Tricia gestured down the street. “Would you like to take a walk?”

Lance could see the hesitation and dread in her eyes and he wanted to erase it more than anything. “Why don’t we go back to your shop, so I can say what I have to say in private?”

“Okay, I guess.”

“Shall we go?” He offered her his arm, but she didn’t take it. A pang of regret hit Lance in the chest. “Don’t be afraid, Tricia. I’m never going to hurt you again. I promise.”

“I know, Lance,” she said quietly, as she walked next to him down the sidewalk. “I don’t plan on giving you a chance to hurt me.”  

Her statement weighed as heavily in his heart as a stone.

...“Can I get you something to drink?” Tricia asked politely as Lance took a seat at her dining table.

“Just water will be fine.” His eyes followed her as she moved around the kitchen. The woman was gorgeous as always. She wasn’t showing yet, but she’d be beautiful when she was round with his child.

“Of course, I’ll get it for you.”

She was treating him differently and he didn’t like it. With Lilibet and the others, she acted happy and seemed full of energy. With him, she was subdued and careful. He’d quenched the light in her eyes and he hated it. “I’ll also take a big helping of crow if you have it.”

“Crow?” She glanced at him quizzically. When it dawned on her what he was talking about, she shrugged. “I have chicken. Will that do?” After she poured a glass of water and added a couple cubes of ice, she set it down in front of him. Before joining him, she placed the lavender he’d given her in a vase and retreated with it to the other end of the table to take a chair.  

“Thank you for the water.” Now, that he was here, Lance didn’t know how to begin. “I think we need to start over.”

“I’m not sure what you mean. I think we’ve said everything there is to be said.”

Okay. She wasn’t going to make this easy on him and he didn’t blame her. “Tricia, I was wrong.”

Her heart began to thump hard in her chest. “About what?” She held on to the bottom edge of the table, pressing the wood so hard, she thought there might be depressions matching her fingerprints.

“Everything.” He got up and moved closer, taking a seat right next to her. “I was wrong about everything.”

Tricia began to tremble, nothing to do with a seizure, this was all him. She couldn’t let herself be vulnerable, not again. “I’m not sure what you mean.”

He reached out to stroke her velvety cheek, but he let his hand drop when she winced and moved away just enough to avoid his touch. “Let me explain. The night we made love, I got up early to go to work.”

She quit breathing so she wouldn’t miss a word. “Yes, I remember.”

“Before I left, I wanted to leave you a note.” He pointed to the desk near the window.

Tricia shook her head slightly. “I didn’t find a note.”

Lance placed his forearms on the table, clasping his hands together. “That’s because I didn’t leave one. As I searched for a pen and paper, my attention was drawn to the framed photograph on the desk.” 

Tricia glanced in that direction. “The one of me and my grandmother with the horse?”

“Yes. When I saw it, I was thrown completely off balance. I thought everything we’d shared was a lie.”

“Why? I don’t understand.”

“Your grandmother is Marcelle Lambert.”

“Yes, I know.” She stared at his face, trying to read his expression. “You mentioned her the night I came to tell you about the baby. You called her a bad name, but I didn’t understand what she had to do with anything. You were angry because I didn’t tell you about the epilepsy.”

She’d brought her hands to the top of the table and Lance took the opportunity to capture one. “No, I was never angry about the epilepsy. I didn’t even know you were suffering with it until Avery told me. I’ve never been around anyone with the condition before, I didn’t recognize the symptoms.”

“You talked to Avery about us?” Tricia’s voice sounded distressed.

“Yes, I did.”

“Did you tell her I was pregnant?”

“Yes, I’m sorry. I was trying to get her to talk to me.” When she would’ve pulled her hand from his grasp, he held on tight. “Listen, there’s something you don’t know. Something I need to tell you.”

Tricia’s breath hitched in her throat. “What?” She could tell by the look on his face that it was necessary.

“Your grandparents, Marcelle and Slade Lambert, knew my father. There was a card game and my father was drunk or drugged and he lost everything. Your grandmother kept pushing him to bet more and more. When he placed his last bet, he put our home up as the final bid.” He let out a harsh breath. “Shenandoah, where that photograph of you and your grandmother was taken, used to belong to my family, until your grandparents stole it from us. We lost everything. My father never recovered. He drove his car into a concrete embankment. I was eleven years old.”

“My family did this?” Tricia couldn’t believe her ears. “I’m so sorry, Lance. I never knew.” She rose and walked to the desk, picking up the photograph. “I thought Shenandoah was just another property she owned. No one ever said anything about this to me.” Turning to face him, she had tears in her eyes. “Your poor family! I hate this so much!”

Seeing her genuine distress, Lance realized what his rush to judgment had cost them both. “I made a mistake. I jumped to the conclusion that you’d known this all the time. I was so angry at you, I thought it must amuse you to tease me, knowing my family had been destroyed by yours.”

Tricia felt like someone just jerked her feet out from under her. “What did I ever do to make you feel this way?” She came closer to him, raising her voice. “I adored you!”

“I’m not saying it makes any sense, I’m just telling you how I felt.”

“Why didn’t you ask me? Why didn’t you give me a chance to explain, to defend myself?”

Her simple questions had no answers. “I don’t know. I’d been so angry for so long. When I found out you were involved…”

“But I wasn’t involved. I’ve been estranged from my father and his family for my whole life! My grandmother contacted me for the first time just a few months before I moved here. My father is dead, Lance, and so is my grandfather. Marcelle knows she made mistakes with me, but she told me she was trying to set things right.” Tricia held up the offending picture. “She never mentioned you or your family’s land to me. Not a word.”

“I believe you.” His simple admission was made with the deepest regret. All of this could’ve been prevented if he’d just talked to her. How many things in life could be solved, if people would only talk? Wars might be avoided if the two sides merely sat down at a table and talked. He shook his head; the epiphany was almost too painful to consider. “I’m so sorry, Tricia.” Rising. Lance went to her. He needed to feel her against him. He needed to know she could get past this. “Can you ever forgive me?”

When his arms reached out to pull her to him, Tricia moved away. If he touched her, she felt she might shatter into a million pieces. “I can forgive you, but we can’t go back to the way we were.”

“Why not?” Lance didn’t understand. “I was wrong and I’m sorry. I never stopped wanting you. My head was distracted with this mess, but my heart and body never wavered.”

Tricia backed up from him. “You said some horrible things to me, Lance. You pushed me away, you made me feel cheap and worthless. You didn’t even give me a chance to defend myself. How can I trust you again?”

Lance felt like a knife had been jammed into his chest. What could he say? Only the truth. “I don’t deserve a second chance with you, Tricia. I don’t blame you for pushing me away. But you’re pregnant with my child and I need to step up and accept responsibility. I want to protect you. I know you’re…sick.”

“I’ll be fine. I couldn’t bear your pity

“I don’t pity you.” He tried to take her in his arms again, but she put more distance between them.

“Don’t.” She said with force. “I have lived with epilepsy for most of my life. I know how people react to it. I know what you’re thinking.”

Lance lost it. He just lost it. He’d kept his distance long enough. “You have no idea what I’m thinking.” Grasping her arm, he tugged her to him, covering her mouth with his.

Shock and awe swept over her like a tidal wave as his firm, warm lips moved desperately over hers. Precious, familiar feelings swamped Tricia, rushing through her bloodstream like a riptide of desire, pushing her far out of her depth. He spliced his thigh between her legs, pressing his body as close to hers as he could get it. His strong arms crushed her to him until they could feel one another’s heartbeats.

To Tricia, it felt too good, too right.

Overwhelmed, she turned her head and pushed against his chest, ending the kiss. Backing away, she gasped, unable to deny the wanton hunger rising within her. “What was that?”

“That was me showing you how much I want you, proving how much you still want me.” Lance was breathing as hard as Tricia. “I screwed up. I was stupid, I admit it. Just don’t punish us both for my mistake. Don’t punish our baby.”

“Stop.” She placed a hand to her forehead. “Don’t make me into the bad guy in this situation.” Tricia looked at him accusingly. “What do you want from me, Lance?”

Lance faced her, his chest heaving, feeling more at a loss than he ever had in his life. “I want to take care of you. I want to take care of our baby.”

“I can handle this, I don’t need you.” Just saying the words didn’t make them true, she did want him and she wasn’t sure she could manage by herself. What held her back from grabbing onto his offer with both hands was the memory of his face when he’d scathingly pushed her away. “You’ll change your mind. I’ll have another seizure and you’ll wish you were anywhere else than with me.”

“Not true, not even close,” Lance argued, “I would never do that.”

She held his gaze for a few seconds, giving him time to process everything that had happened. “How can I trust you?” she finally whispered. “I never would’ve believed you would push me away like you did before. In a thousand years, I never would’ve thought you could treat me the way you have. You said I made your skin crawl.”

“I didn’t mean it. I was hurt.” Lance felt the weight of his mistakes crush his hope. “Please, Tricia. Don’t shut me out. Please.”

Sorrow burned in Tricia’s chest. “I’ll never keep your baby from you, Lance. I’ll have whatever test you need me to have, to insure paternity.”

“I don’t need that.”

She just kept talking. “I just can’t go back to where we were. If there was no baby, you wouldn’t be standing here.” Bringing her arms up in the familiar position, she hugged herself tight. “I need for you to leave.” She started toward the stairs. “Thank you for the flowers and the apology. I accept both. Please follow me and I’ll walk you down so I can lock the door behind you.”

Lance didn’t know what to do. What else could he say? He couldn’t force her. “I hurt you so much and I’ll never forgive myself.”

On the top landing, Tricia flipped on the light. The sudden brightness hitting her in the eyes made her blink. She didn’t try to answer Lance, she was too focused on the unwelcome tingling and the ringing in her ears. “No, not now. Please not now.” She’d let Lance upset her. She shouldn’t have argued with him. “I can’t go down, I don’t want to fall,” she muttered as the seizure claimed her. Sinking down on a step, she leaned against the wall and closed her eyes, submitting to the uncontrollable attack.

“Tricia!” Lance exclaimed behind her. “Oh, God, baby.” Sitting down on the step behind her, he lifted her into his arms. “What can I do?”

“Hold me,” was all she could say.

Clasping her tightly, he whispered, “Texas Holdem. Texas Holdem.”

She buried her head against his shoulder. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. Don’t be.” He kissed her on the forehead. “I want to be here for you. I’ve wanted you for so long, baby. Don’t let my stupidity rob us of what we could have together.”

For long minutes, he rocked her on the stairs, increasing the pressure of his arms when she would jerk uncontrollably against him. Once she quieted, he picked her up and took her back inside the apartment. Seating himself on the couch, he held her in his lap. “You could’ve fallen down the stairs, Tricia.”

She let out a long breath, surprised to realize he was trembling too. “I didn’t.”

“You might next time.” He kissed her on the forehead. “Come home with me. I’ll see that you get to work on time and I’ll make sure you get home okay. If I can’t do it myself, someone at the ranch will be available.” Lance was positive the McCoys would help him keep his promise.

“Live with you?” Tricia sat up. “No. I won’t be a burden. I can take care of myself.”

“You could’ve fallen down the stairs so easily,” he reminded her. “Is that what you want?” Yes, he was laying on the guilt. He was determined to use whatever tools he had at his disposal. The only other one he had was seduction and he had no qualms about using it too, given the chance. “Come home with me, baby.” He nuzzled her neck. “I’ll make you glad you did.”

Tricia had to put distance between them. He was tempting her beyond bearing. “The seizures don’t happen often. Stress is one of my triggers.” She began to ease off his lap.

Now, the guilt came back to weigh on him. “I won’t place undue stress on you, I promise. I’ll handle you with kid gloves. I’ll treat you like a princess.”

“I’ve only been taking my medicine for a few days, the seizures will lessen and become more infrequent over time.” She was saying this by rote, as much to convince herself as him.

“Can we go back, Tricia? Please? Can we forget all of the misunderstandings ever happened?” He knew he sounded desperate, but he was desperate.

Compassion rose in her breast. She placed a hand on his knee, aware of the strength in his body. He was big and powerful, warm and real. “No, we can’t go back.” She felt him tense beneath her touch. “But we can move forward.” Raising her gaze to lock with his, Tricia surrendered. “Protecting our baby is important. I know living alone is risky. I could go live with my grandmother…” She heard the rumbling growl in his chest and she squeezed his leg in response. “Let me finish. I want to continue working as long as I can, so I won’t go to North-Star.”

“You’ll come home with me.” His declaration wasn’t demanding, it was an appeal.

“I’ll go home with you.” The relief on his face was instantaneous. “For the baby’s sake. But just for the baby’s sake. We don’t have to pretend to be anything else.”

“There would be no pretense.” He went to his knees at her feet. Seeing her distress, he wanted to do nothing to threaten her. “Okay. Whatever you say. I only want to be with you, in whatever capacity you’ll allow.” Without thinking, he leaned forward to steal a kiss. To his relief, Tricia didn’t fight him. She kissed him back.

“That’s not supposed to happen.”

“I apologize. I’ll be good.” He dragged a knuckle down her cheek to the fluttering pulse point in her neck, then slowly down to the sweet indention of her collarbone. “I’ll let you decide if you want more…of me.”

Tricia could feel her body react. There was no way to hide it. Her nipples grew hard and her breathing grew shallow. She wanted him, there was no denying the obvious. “I can’t let you break my heart again, Lance. I have to stay strong for me and for our baby.”

“Okay. Whatever you say.” He was grateful she’d agreed. This was a victory. His battle to win her back wasn’t over, he could bide his time. Lance stood and offered Tricia his hand. “I’ll do my best to make you happy and keep you safe. You won’t be sorry. I promise.”

 

* * *

When Lance Rogers put his mind to something, he was like a bulldozer. Before Tricia knew what was happening, he’d packed her bags and carried her down the stairs. Depositing her in his truck, he’d taken her keys and locked everything up. Once he joined her in the cab, he gave her a relieved smile. “We’ll get you home and I’ll feed you. How about some tomato soup and grilled cheese?”

“That sounds good, but I can cook for myself.”

“Are you questioning my culinary skills, Miss Yeager?”

His lighthearted tone helped alleviate some of Tricia’s unease. “No, I’d never do that, Mr. Rogers.” Maybe they could make this work. She’d be lying if she didn’t say this arrangement eased her mind about keeping the baby safe. How could she ever live with herself if she did something to endanger their child?

“After supper, you can take a nice long soak in the tub and I think it would be better if you took my bed, it’s more comfortable. I can sleep in the guestroom.”

“No, I refuse to put you out of your room. I’ll take the guestroom and I won’t argue about it.”

Hearing the steel in her voice, he backed off. “We’ll work everything out.” Reaching over to cover her hand, he gave her a smile. “No stress, remember.”

“No, no stress. I’m not a weakling, though, Lance. I don’t need coddling.”

“How do you coddle someone? I’ve never been sure of that word. Sounds like something you’d do to milk.”

Tricia laughed. “That’s curdle. When you’re being unreasonable and stubborn, I bet you could curdle milk.”

Lance recalled the times he’d yelled at her – in the restaurant and at the cabin when she’d come to tell him she was pregnant. He regretted those moments more than words could say. “I’ll never hurt you again, Tricia. The anger and resentment was so ingrained in me, I reacted without thinking. I’ll make it up to you, I’ll prove to you that I’ve changed if it’s the last thing I ever do.”

Tricia looked away from him and stared out the window. She couldn’t afford to let herself hope for anything more than shelter during this particular storm. Bringing her baby safely into the world had to be their priority. Feeling pensive, she recognized that the storm Cady predicted was no small one, it was a perfect storm, one that had blown her completely off course. How ironic that the harbor where she sought sanctuary…was Lance. “I never wanted you to change.” Her voice was so soft, she didn’t know if he would hear her or not. “I loved you just the way you were.”

Past tense. Loved. Lance cursed under his breath. He’d worn his resentment of the past like a hair shirt and now that resentment might cost him his future. “Just give us a chance, just a chance, that’s all I ask. Don’t close the door completely, please.”

Tricia didn’t answer and he didn’t press further.

Soon, they were pulling beneath the Tebow sign and headed in the direction of the foreman’s cabin. The evening shadows were dense, so all she could see was the porch light he’d left on. When they drew nearer, she could see the outline of the house itself. “I’ve always loved this place,” she murmured. “The porch is so inviting and the woods are so peaceful.”

Lance didn’t say what immediately came to mind. The cabin didn’t belong to him, but he was beginning to understand that there were more important things than where you hung your hat. People were more important. Family was more important. Love was far more important. “It’s a good house. Well built.” As he came to a stop, Lance shut off the engine and opened his door. “Sit right there, I’ll help you out. This old truck is so high off the ground, I don’t want to risk you missing the running board.”

Tricia waited, excitement fizzing through her veins despite her acceptance of the circumstances. This would be the second night she’d ever spent with a man. Unlike the first, she’d be sleeping alone. “Thank you,” she murmured as he lifted her down. His big, strong hands grasping her securely felt…right. She let him take her hand, holding onto it as he gathered her bag from the back. “I have only been inside the cabin once, to deliver a pie. I sat in the porch swing that day, I love your porch swing.”

“I remember,” Lance muttered. “Would God I’d had sense enough to compel you to stay then.”

Tricia didn’t reply. She was watching her step as he led her into the place that would be her home, at least for the next eight months. As she darkened the door to the cabin, she couldn’t quell the feeling of homecoming that cascaded over her.

But this wasn’t her home, no matter how much she might wish otherwise.

The interior of the cabin wasn’t fancy, yet it was welcoming and warm. She let her eyes rove over the hardwood floors, the paneled walls, and the stone fireplace. An uncomfortable knot formed in her stomach as she stared at the big bed visible through an open doorway. She needed to keep her wits about her, she could so easily slip back into the habit of craving him like food and water. A maelstrom of emotions churned with her as he set her bag to the side. “We’ll get you settled in a moment, first you must eat.”

She found it hard to look away from him. In faded jeans and a tight-fitting chambray shirt, he looked so handsome and dear that she found it hard to draw air into her lungs. “I’ll help. I’m feeling better.”

“Great!” Lance accepted her admission as a good sign. “If you’ll slice the bread, I’ll put the soup on to heat.” He made a place for her at his table, fetched a knife, and a loaf of bread. “Cady made this bread, I think it’s whole grain.”

“Smells delicious. I wonder if she baked some magic into it.” She took the knife and cut four generous slices. “I’ll have to try my hand at baking bread.”

Lance placed cheese and butter on the table, then was brave enough to steal another kiss. “You have your own brand of magic, don’t ever doubt it.”

She reached for the butter and accidentally bumped his hand, sending sparks shooting up her arm. He was close enough that she could smell him – fresh mown hay and leather mixed with the irresistible scent of a virile man. Memories of when she expected love and happiness to be her due sought to surface. She battled them down. With the return of the condition that had plagued her youth, she knew those things were out of her reach.

Blushing at their happenstance touch, he began to slather the bread with butter while she sliced sharp cheddar cheese. “Do you want a boy or a girl?”

The question so startled Tricia that she dropped the knife she’d been wielding. “I want a healthy baby, Lance. The gender is of no consequence.”

“I agree, wholeheartedly.” He added cheese to the bread and popped them into the warming oven on a cookie sheet. “Now, while those brown. Let’s get you set up in the bedroom. Are you sure you don’t want to share my bed?”

His suggestion caused a wave of heat to wash over her body. “Don’t tease, Lance. You promised.”

Lance held his tongue. “I think you’ll be comfortable in here.”

She followed in his footsteps, spying the bathroom in the hall. “Are you sure you want me here? Having a woman move in will disrupt your routine.”

“Rest assured, Tricia-mine, I want you here.” He placed the bag on the bed and opened it for her. “Make use of the dresser and I think there are plenty of clothes hangers in the closet, if not I’ll bring you some of mine.”

“I’m sure everything is fine.” His presence in the room made everything seem close quarters.

“Tomorrow, if you like, I’ll have all your plants from the apartment moved over and anything else that you can think of, furniture or what not. Even your pottery wheel, if you’d like.”

“No, it’s too unwieldy. Oh, I can take care of the plants while I’m at the shop, during the day.”

“No.” Lance shook his head as he adjusted one of the curtains that was hanging a bit crooked. “I don’t want you using the stairs again.”

Tricia didn’t know if she felt cared for or bossed around. “All right. Thank you. There are an awful lot of plants. Won’t they be in your way?”

“No,” he assured her. “I love living things around a house. I just never brought any here, because the place isn’t really…mine.”

Immediately her thoughts went back to Shenandoah and she knew his did too. “I’m so sorry for what my family did to you. If I could make it right, I would.” She had no clue about her grandmother’s business dealings, she wished they had the kind of a relationship where she felt free to ask - but she didn’t. There just hadn’t been enough time to forge such a bond. 

“None of this was your fault, Tricia. I know that now.” Lance could see clearly for the first time in ages. He’d let hatred consume him to the point where his days were merely fodder for the fire that had burned in his gut. No more. He lifted his head. “I think I smell the sandwiches. Come on. Let’s hurry, I don’t want them to burn!” He caught her hand and tugged her forward and she went with him, a laugh upon her lips.

The meal they shared was warm and filling. Tricia marveled at the difference a day could make. Here she was, in the home of the father of her child. The circumstances might not be what she would’ve wished, but she had someone to lean on when necessary.

“In the morning, I’ll take you to work. I don’t have anything pressing. Me or someone I trust, will be there to pick you up at closing. Will five-thirty work?”

“Yes, it will. If there are times when no one is available, Freddy will ferry me around,” Tricia offered as she drained a glass of milk.

Lance was mesmerized by the hint of white left upon her lips. “I don’t want Freddy ferrying you about. He has designs on you, Miss Yeager.” Clasping his hand at her nape, he held her still while he kissed away the drops of milk from her mouth. “Sorry, couldn’t resist.”

Tricia unconsciously leaned forward, following him when his mouth slid from hers. She could scarcely think. “Not fair,” was her girlish retort.

“What isn’t fair? My defining Freddy’s motives or the too-quick kiss?” He tried to look nonchalant waiting for her answer, when he was anything but.

“Both.”

Lance couldn’t hide his smile. “I’m right about Freddy. What red-blooded man could be around you and not want you?” He popped the last bite of cheese toast in his mouth and chewed it lustily. After he’d swallowed, he gave her a conspiratorial wink. “And as for the kisses, there are more of those waiting for you, anytime you wish.”

“If wishes were horses, we’d all have a ride,” she quipped, rising quickly to put their dishes in the sink.

“I’ll wash those in the morning.”

“It won’t take but a moment.” She needed to do something, anything to keep her mind off his glorious mouth and the kisses he kept claiming without her consent – or apparent objection.

“How do you feel?”

“I’m fine.” She did the rinsing and loading, quickly and efficiently.

“Are you sure? You’re shaking. Have you taken your medicine?”

“Yes, this morning.” She wiped her hands on a towel. “Look, let’s get something straight.” She rounded on him. “You just happened to have witnessed two of my seizures, but I don’t have them every day. I don’t want you staring at me like I’m some time-bomb about to go off.” She didn’t know what was worse, someone who watched her like a hawk or someone who avoided her. “I want to be more to someone than a…disability.” With that proclamation, she hurried from the living room, leaving Lance to watch her go.

He heard the bedroom close, then open. Next, the bathroom door shut loudly. “Okay, I’ll give her a minute.” While the bath water ran, he paced outside the door, imagining her beautiful body easing down into clouds of fragrant bubbles. Her beautiful nipples would be playing peek-a-boo in the suds. His cock rose hard and strong at the vision in his mind. When he heard a splash, he couldn’t help but cry out. “Are you all right?”

Tricia sank back against the side of the tub. “I’m fine. Go away, Lance!”

He walked away, but not very far.

Tricia rubbed her hands over her body, willing it not to feel desire for the man whose actions kept her head spinning. He ran hot. He ran cold. How could she not question the possibility that he could, yet again, seek to punish her for the sins of those whose blood ran through her veins?

Outside, Lance leaned against the wall, his arms crossed over his chest. He wished he could open the door and sit next to her, he was scared to death that she’d have a spell in the tub and slip beneath the waters. “Fuck,” he fussed at himself. He couldn’t watch her every minute, no matter how much he wanted to. Hopefully, the water wasn’t deep enough for her to drown in. Damn, he needed to get his act together or she’d leave and go back home, trying to escape his smothering.

To his relief, he heard the plug being pulled and the sound of the water draining from the tub. He could just imagine her stepping onto the rug, drops of water glistening on her creamy skin. He basked in this reverie until he heard the knob being turned.

Tricia stepped from the bathroom in a cloud of fog. Glancing to her left, she saw the light was still on in the living room. Perhaps Lance was watching television. Wheeling to her right, she gasped as she collided with his hard-male form. “What are you doing?”

“Watching over you.”

His simple explanation touched her heart like nothing ever had. He was standing guard over her like a knight of old. She’d once teased him about being Sir Lancelot, maybe this chivalrous act wasn’t so bad. “Thank you for taking care of me, Lance.” She went up on tiptoe and kissed his cheek. “I think I’ll lie down, now.”

Probably not the wisest move, but he followed her. “Let me make sure you have everything you need. I think this is a cold spot in the house, so I’ll get an extra blanket.” He opened the closet and rummaged around until he brought out a quilt that looked to be handmade. Holding it up, he flipped it over the bedspread. “My mother made this.” He straightened the corners, then turned on a bedside lamp.

“It’s beautiful.” She admired the old-fashioned wedding ring pattern, before dimming the overhead light. How different were these circumstances than those of the night their child had been conceived? Shyly, Tricia slipped off the robe she was wearing, revealing a modest cotton gown.

Lance stood by the bed like a sentry, waiting for her to crawl beneath the covers. He jammed his hands in his pockets to keep from reaching for her. How in the hell was he supposed to sleep with her just down the hall? He didn’t question the wisdom of bringing her here, for his sanity’s sake, he had to have her close. What he did question was his ability to give her the space she requested. “If you need anything, anything, just say my name, I’ll hear you.”

“Okay, I will.” Tricia slipped down in the bed, pulling the sheet up over her. She thought Lance would leave, but he lingered. Once she was lying flat on her back, he began to tuck her in like a child. “This isn’t necessary, you know.”

Lance cleared his throat, patting the blanket resting over her middle. “Hell, yes, it’s necessary.” She’d never know what the sight of her did to him, lying there all soft and sweet – so damn near, yet so far. Bracing a hand on the far side of her pillow, he lowered himself slowly. “I am in great need of a goodnight kiss.” His voice barely rose above a whisper.

Tricia wanted to cry for them both. How different this all should’ve been. “I think I have one to spare, but just one,” she cautioned him.

“Well, I’d better make it count then.”

Tangling his fingers in her long, blonde hair, he held her head steady as he kissed her so tenderly that her knees would’ve buckled had she been standing on her feet. His lips moved over her mouth, his tongue caressing hers in a kiss as passionate as any they’d ever shared. When that kiss was over, he didn’t lift his lips from hers, he took a slight breath and went back in for more. Each successive kiss became more and more hungry. His big hand left her neck and moved to the top of the covers, working them down.

Ripping her mouth from his, she placed a hand on his chest and pushed. “Lance, don’t.” Give the man an inch and he took a mile.  

He was panting for air, staring deep into her eyes. “Don’t what? Tell you I’ve missed you? Tell you I want you so much I ache? Tell you I want to lose myself in the softness and heat of your body?”

“No, don’t tell me those things, not now.”

“Too soon?” He tugged on the covers again and she snatched them back. “No, it’s not what you think, I promise.”

She gradually loosened her grip and he pulled the sheet down. Tricia quivered beneath his consuming stare and she held her breath as he lowered his head…only to place a chaste kiss beneath her heart, right over the spot where their baby lay.

“Goodnight, darling, sleep well.” He pulled the covers back up under her chin. “And when you pray, ask God to help you forgive me. Okay?”

“I told you already that I forgave you.”

“Yea, you did. But until you can put what I did behind you, this barrier will always be between us.”

“How about you, Lance? Can you put what my grandparents did behind you?”

“I think so, yes.” He gave her a slow wink. “Dream about me.”

Walking away from her was one of the hardest things Lance had ever done, but a few minutes later, when he was lying in his own bed, a sense of peace came over him.

Lance slept better than he had in years.