CHAPTER 20
Time positively dragged when you waited for something, Harry noted, sighing to himself.
“Something wrong with your coffee, Haz?”
Harry glanced at his untouched coffee before shaking his head. “It’s fine,” he said, smiling at Samantha. She had been really angry at him when she had first seen him (“How could you just disappear like this? I was worried, you prat!”), but thankfully she had forgiven him.
“I’m just...” Harry squirmed when she shot him a knowing look.
“Oh my God,” she said, grinning. “You finally fucked him.”
The bell chimed.
“I—” Harry said before noticing that Samantha’s eyes were elsewhere.
“Holy shit,” she murmured, looking at something behind Harry. “Look at that hottie, Haz.”
Curious, Harry turned—
And froze.
A tall, broad-shouldered man stood by the entrance, sweeping a cool gaze of silver eyes around the coffee shop. His long midnight-blue hair was tied back and did nothing to soften the razor-sharp cut of his firm jaw or the steel in his gaze as his pale eyes locked with Harry’s.
Harry tried to make himself smaller.
“He’s looking at you, Harry!” Samantha whispered excitedly. “How are you so lucky? First Adam and now—”
“He’s my brother,” Harry said with a sigh, watching resignedly as Ksar made his way to him.
Ksar was angry. He might look calm and collected, but Harry knew he was actually angry. It wasn’t that he could get a read of Ksar’s thoughts. He never could, and, to his surprise, Harry still couldn’t penetrate Ksar’s mental shields despite his much-improved telepathic abilities. Not that he was trying very hard. Technically, he would be committing a crime if he did.
But he knew Ksar. He didn’t need to read his mind to be able to tell that his brother wasn’t pleased with him. To put it lightly.
“Brother?!” Samantha exclaimed just as Ksar reached them.
“Harry,” Ksar said carefully.
Harry thought it was the first time Ksar actually called him Harry. He wasn’t surprised. Ksar might be a stickler for the rules back home, but as a Lord Chancellor of the Ministry of Intergalactic Affairs, he was well-versed in other planets’ customs and would never do something that would betray that they weren’t humans. Even the way he was dressed was impeccably human. While Harry was hopeless at human fashion, Ksar was wearing an expensive-looking dark suit that wasn’t all that different from the ones Adam wore.
At the thought of Adam, Harry panicked a little. Adam’s lunch break was going to start soon. Adam could enter the coffee shop any minute now.
“Hi,” Harry said, frantically trying to decide what to do. Introducing Adam to Ksar would be a terrible idea. But he couldn’t just leave with Ksar. Harry had promised to wait for Adam. Not to mention that Harry was scared that if he left with Ksar, he would never see Adam again. He wouldn’t put it past Ksar to teleport him home as soon as they were out of humans’ sight.
Samantha cleared her throat pointedly and Harry finally remembered his manners.
“This is Samantha, my former coworker,” he said, gesticulating between her and Ksar. “My brother, Ksar.”
Crap. Should he have invented a more human name for Ksar? Did Ksar sound human enough?
Ksar shot him an unimpressed look, but nodded politely at Samantha. “Pleased to meet you,” he murmured.
She blushed, touching her hair and looking at Ksar from under her eyelashes. “Pleasure is all mine,” she said, her voice sounding a little weird.
For the first time Harry understood the meaning of secondhand embarrassment. He was no longer as clueless in such matters and could see that Samantha was attracted to Ksar. He wished he could tell her not to bother.
If Ksar noticed that she was flirting with him, he didn’t show it, his eyes shifting back to Harry. “Where is he?”
“Who?” Harry squeaked. Did Ksar know about Adam?
“Seyn,” Ksar said, giving him a strange look.
Right.
Before Harry could answer, the doorbell chimed again, and a few customers entered the shop.
“Sorry, I have to get back to work,” Samantha said with regret.
“I can help!” Harry said quickly, springing to his feet.
Except Ksar grabbed his wrist and sat him down.
“He can’t,” he told Samantha in a vaguely apologetic tone, not looking apologetic in the least.
As soon as she nodded and left them alone, Ksar said quietly, “Explain yourself, Harht.”
Harry sagged in his seat in defeat. “How did you find me?”
Ksar gave him a flat look. “Did you really think I wouldn’t?”
“But Seyn had our identification chips removed,” Harry said. He did expect his family to find him eventually, but he didn’t expect for it to happen so soon.
Something flickered in Ksar’s eyes. He shrugged. “It wasn’t hard to figure out you could be on Terra after you tried to convince Mother to let you go back. Besides, all our familial links to you were cut off again, making it obvious you’re on a faraway planet.” A disdainful sneer twisted Ksar’s lips. “I’m not surprised Seyn lacked the foresight to see this, but I expected better from you. Is stupidity contagious?”
“Don’t be mean,” Harry said, frowning at his brother’s cold, cutting tone. He never understood the open disdain Ksar had for Seyn. Ksar was usually so collected, but he was downright mean to Seyn. “It’s not kind to talk this way about your bondmate.”
A sour look crossed Ksar’s face at the unwelcome reminder that Seyn wasn’t just Harry’s best friend but also his bondmate.
For the first time, Harry fully understood why Seyn wanted to break his bond to Ksar so badly. Harry wouldn’t want to be bonded for life to someone who despised him, either.
Not to mention there clearly was something faulty with Ksar and Seyn’s bond, because it wasn’t normal for bondmates to dislike each other. The bond usually prevented it. They must be really incompatible if even the bond couldn’t make them fond of each other.
“Kind? I’m not kind, Harht,” Ksar said with faint amusement in his voice. “You’re the only one who’s delusional about it.”
“I’m not delusional,” Harry said. “I know you pretend to be heartless, but deep down you care a lot.”
Ksar just shook his head, looking at Harry like he was the silliest creature he’d ever seen but was still fond of against his better judgment. Which proved that Harry was totally right! Right?
“I don’t know how the hell you’re related to our mother or me,” Ksar said, his lips twisting. “You’re like a chicken hatched in a nest of k’hlers.”
“Now you’re being mean to yourself and Mother,” Harry said. Sure, their mother and Ksar could be stern and ruthless, but they were nothing like k’hlers—the poisonous Calluvian predators similar to Terran snakes, only with wings.
“I’m being honest, not mean,” Ksar murmured before boring his silver eyes into Harry’s. “Why are you here? Why did you want to return to Earth?”
Harry licked his dry lips. Before he could say anything, the doorbell chimed again and Adam entered the shop.
Harry froze.
Adam smiled at him before his gaze flicked to Ksar, who still had his hand around Harry’s wrist. Adam’s smile disappeared, his shoulders visibly tensing.
He strode toward the table, his eyes still locked on Ksar’s hand on Harry.
As if sensing something, Ksar turned around just as Adam reached them.
“Who is this, Harry?” Adam said, shouldering past Ksar and laying a hand on Harry’s nape.
Both men exchanged a cold look over Harry, Adam’s expression vaguely hostile and Ksar’s vaguely suspicious.
Harry bit his lip, eyeing them warily. They were of similar height and build. Harry wasn’t sure which of them would win if there was a physical altercation.
Tentatively, he extended his mental shields to Adam, protecting him from telepathic prying. Not that he thought Ksar would do it—it was a crime, after all—but he wouldn’t put it past him. Ksar could be absolutely unethical if he thought it was necessary. Harry was aware his brother was a bit of a hypocrite in that regard. He insisted that everyone should follow the rules and laws, but he seemed to have no problem disregarding the rules if it suited him.
Harry hoped Ksar wouldn’t try prying into Adam’s mind. If he did, he would find Harry’s shield, which would make Ksar more than just suspicious. A Class 1 telepath shouldn’t have been able to extend his mental shields to another person, and Harry was supposed to be Class 1.
“This is my brother, Ksar,” Harry said.
Catching Ksar’s incredulous look, Harry realized he had leaned back into Adam’s touch. He hastily straightened.
“Brother?” Adam said.
“Ksandr,” Ksar corrected curtly. “Alexander. And you are?”
Adam glanced at Harry before returning his dark eyes to Ksar. “Adam Crawford,” he said, his tone still cold.
“He’s my flatmate,” Harry said quickly.
He felt Adam stiffen and winced on the inside. He had so much explaining to do.
“Flatmate,” Ksar repeated, glancing at Adam’s hand on Harry’s neck. His face was completely inscrutable.
“Yes,” Adam said in a clipped voice.
“London is expensive,” Harry said, breaking the tense silence.
“I’m sure it is,” Ksar murmured before smiling nicely. It was a little unnerving. Ksar rarely smiled nicely without a reason. “But I’m here now and you don’t have to worry about it anymore. I’ll take care of it.”
Harry felt Adam’s irritation spike. Before he could say anything, Ksar said, looking at Harry, “Mother is eager for your return. Let’s get Seyn and leave.”
Adam sucked a breath in.
Harry grabbed Adam’s hand and didn’t move from his chair.
“Harry,” Ksar said, his pale eyes boring into him.
Harry took a deep breath, looked at Adam’s grim face, and shook his head. “I’m not going,” he said, looking at Adam.
The tension in Adam’s jaw decreased a little.
“Pardon?” Ksar said testily.
Harry got to his feet and looked at Ksar. He nearly flinched at the expression on his brother’s face. “I want to stay,” he said haltingly, taking a step toward Adam until his back was pressed against Adam’s chest. He calmed considerably as soon as Adam put a hand on his hip, anchoring him.
“I want to stay here,” he said, firmer this time.
Ksar stared at him before his gaze slowly dropped to Adam’s hand on Harry’s hip. Harry felt himself flush. If Ksar had any doubts about the nature of his relationship with Adam, they must be gone now for sure.
And then Harry felt it—a heavy telepathic touch that undid all his mental shields in a matter of seconds. He’d never felt something like that and could only stare at Ksar. It wasn’t just an immense breach of privacy; it should have been impossible. Harry was at least a Class 3 telepath now that his bond was gone. All modern Calluvians were supposedly no stronger than Class 2. Ksar shouldn’t have been able to do this. It should have been impossible.
“Where’s your bond?” Ksar’s voice sounded in his mind, cold and harsh.
Harry shook his head dazedly. He didn’t understand. How had Ksar done this? Ksar was bonded. His telepathy shouldn’t have been so strong.
“Answer me, Harht.”
Harry flinched, a headache splitting his head. “Stop, it hurts,” he thought at Ksar.
Immediately, the pressure receded, but Ksar continued glaring at him.
“I’ll explain later,” Harry told Ksar telepathically. “I promise.”
“Not later. Now. Get rid of the human or I’m dragging you out of here by force.”
Harry gave Ksar a pleading look, but his brother was unmoved.
Sighing, Harry turned to Adam. “I have to go back to your flat with my brother,” he said, looking down at their tangled fingers. Adam’s fingers were so much darker than his. They looked almost brown against his fair skin. His hand also dwarfed Harry’s. It made Harry feel strange. He wanted to hide his hand inside Adam’s. He wanted to hide himself under Adam’s skin and stay there forever. “He wants to see Seyn. They’re engaged,” he clarified in case Adam had forgotten, playing with Adam’s fingers.
“Harry,” Adam said.
Biting his bottom lip, Harry lifted his eyes to Adam’s. Adam’s face was oddly still and blank. “You’re not leaving,” he stated. “Are you?”
Ksar cleared his throat behind Harry, impatient.
Harry ignored him, his gaze locked with Adam’s.
He wanted to tell Adam he wasn’t going anywhere, that he would be waiting for him when Adam returned home this evening.
But… could he give such a promise? By the Calluvian law, he wasn’t free to do as he wished. He wouldn’t be allowed to stay on a planet like Earth. Pre-TNIT planets were off-limits for living, and only occasional visits were allowed. The law prohibited interfering with the development of young civilizations or sharing superior knowledge and technology with them. Harry understood why the law was necessary. Before the law had been introduced, there had been many catastrophic precedents in the past, with societies unable to handle technological advantages wisely. So yes, Harry did understand.
It didn’t mean he was okay with it.
“I,” Harry said. “I…” He searched for something to say, for something to reassure Adam—both of them—that it wasn’t the last time they were seeing each other. But he glanced at Ksar’s stony face and couldn’t think of anything that would make it possible for him to stay on Earth. Ksar might love him, but Harry didn’t have much hope for convincing his brother to help him. Ksar would never understand. Ksar would likely grab him and Seyn and return them home where mind adepts would restore Harry’s bond to Leylen’shni’gul.
Basically, it was hopeless.
“I,” Harry croaked, his throat thick with some awful emotion he couldn’t quite name as he looked into Adam’s dark eyes.
“Harry, enough,” Ksar said, his tone steely. “Let’s go.”
Harry swallowed, looking at Ksar’s impatient, unimpressed face. He looked back at Adam, his vision swimming. Panic rose swiftly, threatening to choke him. He couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t breathe.
“Baby,” Adam said, his grim expression shifting into one of concern. “Are you okay?”
A high sound tore out of Harry’s throat and he crashed his face into Adam’s chest, clinging to him with all his might, silent tears streaking his cheeks and wetting Adam’s shirt. He couldn’t breathe.
Distantly, he could hear Ksar’s voice, but it was like white noise. All he could hear was Adam’s low, soothing voice, whispering endearments into his ear as Adam’s hands stroked his back, trying to calm him down.
Harry tried to calm down but couldn’t, because—because he finally truly realized this was the last time Adam was holding him, the last time he would hear Adam’s voice, the last time he would breathe in Adam’s scent or feel the strength of Adams body around him, against him.
He was hit with another wave of crushing panic, and he clung harder to Adam, never wanting to let go.
It took Harry a while to realize he was muttering something. “I don’t wanna go, don’t make me, I need you—don’t make me go—I need you—”
“Harht,” Ksar’s voice filled his head. “Cease this immediately. You’re speaking in Calluvian.”
Harry shut his mouth but couldn’t calm down no matter how hard he tried. His heart beat fast in his chest, his fingers clenched in Adam’s shirt, unwilling to let go. He wasn’t letting go. He wasn’t. He would never.
“Babe,” Adam said, threading his fingers through Harry’s hair. “Look at me. Please. Come on, show me your pretty eyes.”
Harry let Adam lift his face from Adam’s chest. He could barely see Adam through the blur of tears, so it took him a few moments to realize Adam was staring at him oddly.
“Harry,” he said. “Your tears are pink.”
Harry blinked, trying to understand why it was significant. Behind him, he heard Ksar sigh.
“Human tears are colorless, Harht,” Ksar’s voice sounded in his head. “Good job. Good luck explaining it.”
But Harry couldn’t bring himself to care. He could feel nothing but the crushing, aching longing and the sense of impending loss.
“What in the world…” Adam murmured, bewilderment all over his face as he touched Harry’s cheek to wipe his tears. “Are you bleeding somewhere?”
Harry turned his head to kiss his fingers.
“Harht,” Ksar’s voice snapped in his mind.
Harry ignored him, nuzzling into Adam’s hand.
“Harry,” Adam said, but he wasn’t pulling away, brushing his hand over Harry’s cheek, letting Harry nuzzle into it.
Harry lifted his eyes to meet Adam’s confused dark ones, and then he whispered, “I love you.”
Adam sucked a breath in. Harry heard Ksar make a sharp noise, too, but his eyes remained on Adam. The longer Adam stayed silent, the more Harry’s chest hurt.
“Haz, you can’t just—I need a fucking explanation for once—oh, fuck it—” Adam dove in and kissed him, his mouth hungry and wet and so so perfect. “Me, too, babe,” he muttered against Harry’s mouth. “I love you.”
Harry melted into the kiss, his body doing that ridiculous thing where it tried to mold itself into Adam’s. Everything else disappeared, there was only Adam everywhere, and not enough of Adam—
He was yanked away from Adam. Opening his eyes, Harry found himself looking at Ksar’s stony face. “We’re leaving,” Ksar said, very evenly.
Harry flinched. A seemingly calm Ksar was much worse than an angry one.
Before he could say anything, Ksar dragged him toward the exit.
Harry looked back at Adam, expecting him to stop them, but Adam didn’t, standing very still. There was something very odd about him: his gaze was unfocused and confused, as if he had no idea what was happening or where he was. He didn’t even glance Harry’s way, rubbing at his temples with a pinched look on his face.
With dawning horror, Harry realized Ksar had done something to him.
“What did you do to him?” Harry said, trying to free himself from Ksar’s grip. “What did you do?”
Ksar didn’t answer, his face hard as he dragged him toward a cab. He pushed Harry inside and told the driver Adam’s address in a stiff voice.
“How do you know Adam’s address?” Harry said, looking back at the coffee shop. “Let me go back! Please, Ksar.”
The driver looked uncertainly between them. “Drive,” Ksar said, and of course his air of authority made the driver obey.
Harry opened his mouth to ask more questions, demand Ksar to return him to Adam, but the look Ksar leveled him with made him close it. Ksar gave off so much anger and disapproval it turned Harry’s stomach.
Harry folded his hands on his lap and turned away, anger and resentment burning his insides. He didn’t know how to deal with them. He’d never felt such anger, especially toward his own brother.
But there was another emotion stronger even than his anger: the feeling of crushing loss.
He felt like he’d left a part of himself back in the coffee shop. A part of him he’d never get back.