CHAPTER 21
As soon as they arrived, Ksar got out of the car and said coldly, “I hope you don’t expect me to drag you like a child again. Walk.”
Harry walked, glaring at Ksar’s back but not daring to speak. For the first time ever, he understood why people’s attitude toward Ksar ranged from wary dislike to fear.
Seyn opened the door with a smile that disappeared as soon as he saw Ksar. He paled and then promptly flushed.
“I’m not going,” was the first thing Seyn said, a mulish expression appearing on his face.
“I’ll deal with you later.” Ksar shouldered past him into the flat with a terse, “Close the door, Harht.”
Harry shut the door and crossed his arms over his chest. “I’m not going, either.”
Ksar turned around, leveling them both with such a murderous look that it made Harry take a step closer to Seyn. He had to remind himself that this was his brother, not a stranger. But try as he might, he couldn’t forget the force of Ksar’s telepathy, the things Ksar could do that he shouldn’t have been able to do. Maybe Ksar was a stranger after all.
“You know what?” Seyn said, flipping his silver locks over his shoulder. “I refuse to be treated like a guilty child. If you have something to say, quit trying to intimidate us and just say it.”
“If you don’t want to be treated like a child, stop behaving like one,” Ksar said, a sneer twisting his lips for a moment as he looked at Seyn before looking at Harry. “Explain yourself.”
Harry glared. “Why? You already know everything. You saw everything in my mind—without asking permission.”
“What?” Seyn said, whipping his head to stare at Harry. “He—but how?”
Of course Seyn was confused. Seyn knew how much stronger Harry’s telepathy had become. Harry wished he knew the answer to Seyn’s question.
Ksar unbuttoned his jacket and threw it on the couch. “I didn’t see everything,” he said. “I was too startled by the fact that my supposedly bonded brother engaged in sexual intercourse with a member of a pre-TNIT civilization.”
Harry flushed. “You had no right to pry into my mind like that. You broke the law!”
“I think the Council would excuse me in this case,” Ksar said. “I wouldn’t have broken into your mind if you didn’t behave like a wanton with that human. What happened to your bond?”
“My bond broke toward the end of my last stay on Earth,” Harry said. “I don’t want it back. My senses are so much better without it.”
Ksar gave him a flat look. “I’m sure that’s the reason you don’t want your bond back.”
Harry pursed his lips. “My telepathy has never been stronger.”
“Yes,” Ksar said, his tone very dry. “I saw how you used it to get to this city.”
“You hypocrite,” Seyn said when Harry had looked away guiltily. “You have no right to judge Harry for that when you violated his privacy in the worst possible way.” His green eyes narrowed. “By the way, how is it possible? Harry is at least Class 3 now. You’re supposedly Class 2. Supposedly.”
“I haven’t given you leave to speak,” Ksar said, throwing a cold look Seyn’s way. “Stay out of it. This is a family matter.”
Seyn smiled at him sweetly and blew him a kiss. “But I’m practically family, aren’t I?”
A muscle twitched in Ksar’s jaw. “Not yet.”
“Not ever,” Seyn corrected him. “If you pried into Harry’s memories, you know why I came to Earth. I want to get rid of the bond, too.”
Ksar’s face betrayed absolutely no emotion. “I have more important matters to deal with right now than your spoiled tantrums. Go to another room and wait until I’m finished with Harht.”
Seyn flushed. “You—you can’t just—you can’t treat me like that!” He straightened to his full height and glared at Ksar. “I’m Prince Seyn’ngh’veighli of the Third Grand Clan, not your goddamn slave.”
“Then act like it,” Ksar said before looking at Harry sharply. “Stop worrying about the human. He’ll be fine. I simply removed his memory of your little break down.”
Harry pressed his lips together. “I don’t believe you,” he said. “Swear to me you didn’t erase his memories of me,” he said, voicing the fear that had been plaguing him since Adam hadn’t even glanced his way when they’d left the coffee shop.
Ksar was quiet for a few moments, his face hard to read.
“I didn’t, but it would have been for the best, wouldn’t it?” he said at last. “It’s better for everyone involved if he doesn’t remember you. He’ll never see you again.”
Harry felt his eyes burn, a thick lump forming in his throat. He looked at Ksar pleadingly.
Ksar’s expression remained stony. “Get your things, both of you. Leave nothing behind. You’re not coming back. We’re leaving.”
Harry’s chest hurt. Hurt and ached, as if someone had twisted his heart in their hands like a rag to wring all the blood from it.
Seyn made a sympathetic sound and put an arm around Harry’s shoulders, glowering at Ksar. “How can you be so fucking heartless to your own bother? You bastard!”
Ksar’s lips twisted into a derisive smile. “If I didn’t know better, I would think you were a low-bred son of a Sarvakhu whore, not a scion of kings. Mind your foul tongue, kid.”
Seyn scowled. “Don’t you call me kid!”
“What should I call a spoiled child?”
Harry stopped listening. Instead, he stared at his brother’s stony face and realized there was no changing his mind. Ksar had made up his mind. Harry was never coming back. He was never coming back.
He was never going to see Adam again.
“I love him,” Harry whispered. “Doesn’t it matter?”
Ksar and Seyn stopped arguing and turned their heads to him.
Seyn sighed. “I’m so sorry, Harry.”
But Harry didn’t look at him. He looked at his brother’s expressionless face. “Don’t my feelings matter?” Harry hated how his voice broke on the last word, but it was hard to swallow that his big brother—the one who had taught him how to ride zhylk’ki and comforted him every time Harry had fallen, the one who had let him follow him around like a puppy when Harry had been a child—that Ksar didn’t care about his happiness. It hurt. It hurt in a different way than the hurt he felt at the thought of never seeing Adam again.
Ksar’s expression changed, just a little. “You don’t love him,” he said testily. “What you feel is infatuation. You aren’t used to the lack of bond. Everything is new for you. You have too many feelings you don’t know how to handle. It will pass.”
Harry shook his head. “I need him,” he said, looking Ksar in the eye. “I need him with my mind, with my heart, and with my body.”
Beside him, Seyn choked, but Harry didn’t blush. This was too important for him to be embarrassed.
Ksar’s jaw clenched. He looked distinctly uncomfortable, as if he didn’t expect Harry to be so straightforward and shameless.
“You’re confusing lust with love,” Ksar said. “You’re too young and inexperienced to know the difference.”
“Wait,” Seyn cut in sharply. “What is that supposed to mean? How do you know the difference?”
“That’s none of your concern.” Ksar didn’t look at him, his silver eyes still on Harry. “Do you think he loves you, Harht?” he said. “I saw his mind.”
Harry fish-mouthed. Did Adam not love him back?
“He is rather besotted with you,” Ksar admitted, rather reluctantly. “But the person he’s besotted with is a cute, quirky human he met at a coffee shop, not a freaky telepathic alien.” The look Ksar gave him was almost pitying. “You underestimate how much the truth would change his feelings for you.”
“You don’t know that,” Seyn said.
“I do,” Ksar said, still looking at Harry. “I’ve witnessed quite a few Contacts with secluded civilizations like Terrans. Most of the time they go horribly bad. Xenophobia aside, non-telepathic races tend to be very distrustful of telepaths. They don’t like aliens who can mess with their minds and make them do their bidding.”
“I’m sure the fact that you messed with Adam’s mind wouldn’t help now,” Seyn said snidely.
“No, it wouldn’t,” Ksar said. “So even if I let you tell him, his reaction would crush you, Harht. I don’t want you to be hurt.”
“You’re already hurting me,” Harry said quietly. Even if Ksar was right—even if Adam’s reaction to the truth would be awful—it couldn’t be worse than this horrible feeling of loss and guilt twisting his insides. He wanted Adam. Wanted to see him, lean against him and hide in his strong arms. Wanted Adam to kiss him behind his ear, call him his babe, and tell him that everything would be fine, that Adam got him. If worse came to worst, Harry wanted the chance to explain everything and say goodbye. Adam deserved it. Adam deserved an explanation.
“Please,” Harry said, looking Ksar in the eye and opening his mind to him, letting Ksar see.
Grimacing, Ksar broke the eye contact and said, “This conversion is pointless. You can’t remain unbonded. We need to restore your bond to Leylen’shni’gul as soon as possible.”
“Why?”
Ksar sighed, a troubled expression crossing his face. “Your bondmate and her parents came to the palace soon after you left. They reported that Leylen’shni’gul stopped feeling you in her mind. She still has the bond, but it’s faulty and weak now. I reassured them that it was simply due to the distance between you and her, but they’re getting nervous and suspicious, especially since no one knows where you are. We need to restore your bond before they might report it to the Council.”
“Why?” Harry said, glancing at Seyn, who was weirdly quiet now. Seyn was watching Ksar with a strange look on his face.
“Because they can’t find out your bond is broken,” Ksar said. “What do you think will happen if they do?”
Harry crossed his arms over his chest. “I don’t think they can arrest me for accidentally getting rid of my bond. And technically, they can’t make me bond to Leylen’shni’gul again, because the Bonding Law concerns only young children.”
Ksar ran a hand over his face, shaking his head. “Don’t be naive. Of course they can.” He looked at Harry. “You still have a binding betrothal contract to Leylen’shni’gul. Do you really think the Council will let you be? The sole potentially high-level telepath in their midst while their own telepathy is suppressed by the bond?”
Harry flopped down on the couch, frowning deeply. “I’m pretty sure I’ll test as Class 3 at most. I’m not all that dangerous.”
Ksar gave him a pinched look. “And you think they’ll just take your word for it?” He chuckled. “Can you name many civilizations with registered telepaths higher than Class 3?”
Harry bit his lip. He could see Ksar’s point. He could think of only two races that were classified as Class 4 on the Standard Telepathic Test.
“Yorgebs and Tajickssu,” Harry said.
“And do you really think there are just two races in the entire galaxy that have Class 4 telepaths? Or that there are no higher level telepaths anymore?”
“It’s possible to fool the Ministry’s test,” Seyn said quietly before Harry could respond. “It probably gets easier to fool it the stronger the telepath is.”
Ksar nodded briskly. “They’ll never believe you that you’re just Class 3. You’ll be watched all the time, at the very least. A small misdemeanor will be used against you as an excuse to prosecute you or use you as a tool for their agenda.”
“What agenda?” Harry said.
Something cold flicked in Ksar’s eyes. “Certain members of the Council insist that the Ministry’s test is inconclusive and that having a telepath in charge of a grand clan shouldn’t be allowed, because it might lead to abuse of power and it’s supposedly ‘unfair’ to the telepathically null members of the Council.”
Harry’s brows furrowed. There had always been some tension between telepathic and telepathically null Calluvians, and Harry was aware that lately it had been worse, but surely it wouldn’t happen? “But most ruling members of the grand clans are telepaths.”
Ksar gave him a flat look. “The ruling members of the grand clans aren’t the only people in the Council. Need I remind you that the royal houses have only twenty-four votes and the rest of the votes belong to elected members, most of whom are telepathically null?”
Right.
“And you think they’d use me to further their agenda?” Harry said.
“I don’t think it,” Ksar said. “I know they will. You already used your telepathy against humans. A case like this is the perfect excuse they’ve been looking for. That’s why you can’t remain unbonded, Harht.”
Harry’s heart sank. If what Ksar was saying was true, he had no choice. He would never forgive himself if his mother lost the throne because of him.
“The t-nulls should have pushed for the repeal of the Bonding Law instead,” Seyn grumbled. “One would think it’s in their best interests. Instead of being constantly bitter that they have next to no telepathy, why don’t they do something about it?”
Harry shook his head. “Because there’s no guarantee that repealing the Bonding Law would make things better for them. They must be scared that telepaths would become even more powerful if their bonds were removed.”
“Yes,” Ksar said. “Some believe that without the bond people who are now telepathically null would become just Class 1 telepaths, but the telepaths would become…something far worse.”
Harry winced. In a way, he could understand why the telepathically null Calluvians were scared. High-level telepaths could supposedly completely erase and replace a person’s memory. They could make you believe your mother was a stranger. They could make you believe anything they wanted. No mental shields would protect you from them. They could damage or block areas of your brain, rendering you paralyzed or deaf. They could make you think you were being tortured. Class 7 telepaths could supposedly kill with their minds, shutting down your vital organs with as little as a thought.
It was understandable why the telepathically null members of the Council would be uncomfortable with the prospect of having such powerful telepaths in their midst. And Harry doubted that even the telepaths in the Council would support the repeal of the Bonding Law. Some of them would likely be tempted by the prospect of unlimited power, but if they repealed the law and broke all the bonds, where was the guarantee that they would be the powerful ones? Repealing the law might completely overhaul the social hierarchy, which obviously wasn’t in the Council’s best interests. People in power never wanted change unless it benefited them. The Bonding Law would never be repealed. And Harry would be considered a threat if the Council found out about his lack of bond.
Harry slumped back against the couch. “What options do I have? Besides going back and restoring my bond to Leylen’shni’gul?”
The look his brother gave him was almost sympathetic. “None.”
“Bullshit,” Seyn said.
Harry turned his head. “What?”
Seyn’s gaze was fixed on Ksar. “You aren’t bonded to me, are you?”
Harry frowned. What was Seyn talking about?
He looked at Ksar and found his expression carefully blank.
“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Ksar said evenly.
Seyn laughed. “Do you think I’m stupid? When you described Leylen’shni’gul’s symptoms, they sounded very familiar to me. I don’t feel you on the bond’s other end, and my bond is weak and faulty.” He cocked his head to the side. “So, how high-level are you? Class 4? Class 5? Worse? Or should I say better? I guess now we know why you’re such a high-handed ass.”
A muscle started pulsing in Ksar’s jaw.
Yet he didn’t deny anything.
Harry stared at his brother. “Ksar? Is that true?”
Ksar swept a calculating gaze from Harry and Seyn.
“Don’t even think of erasing our memories,” Seyn said, tensing. “My mental shields are too intricate and personalized for you to rebuild them perfectly. I’ll know they’ve been messed with and I’ll go to mind adepts. You wouldn’t want them to find out what you did—or the state of my bond, for that matter.”
Ksar’s lips thinned, proving that he really had been considering erasing their memories. Harry couldn’t believe him.
Seyn smiled humorlessly. “So you can go without a bond, but Harry can’t, huh? Fucking hypocrite.”
“It’s different,” Ksar said.
Seyn raised his eyebrows. “Enlighten us why it’s different.”
“Our bond never quite took,” Ksar said, his voice slower, as if he was choosing his words carefully. “I’m not entirely sure why. Perhaps it was because of our age difference or the fact that I was much older than the age children got bonded at. Perhaps the painful death of my first bondmate damaged my ability to form a new bond. Either way, our bond had been defective from the beginning. You could never feel me through the bond, so you didn’t know it wasn’t normal. Leylen’shni’gul’s bond to Harht had been perfectly functional, and she obviously can tell that something is wrong with the bond now. You could never tell the difference.”
“So you used my obliviousness against me while all my life I wondered if there was something wrong with me.” Seyn’s voice wavered a little, but Harry didn’t think Ksar noticed. Seyn chuckled. “Nice. And here I thought I couldn’t dislike you more. Just out of curiosity, what were you going to do in two years’ time? Fake the completion of the bond? Mess with my head and make me think our bond was fine?”
Ksar’s face was awfully blank. Harry had a horrible suspicion that Seyn wasn’t wrong.
“I haven’t come to a decision yet,” Ksar said. “But that was one of the options.”
Seyn paled with fury.
Ignoring him, Ksar moved his gaze to Harry. “In any case, it’s irrelevant for you. Leylen’shni’gul would definitely notice—she already has. And before you ask, she’s not bonded to me, so I can’t exactly ‘mess with her head’ and make her think her bond is fine, at least not indefinitely. It’s not feasible.”
Harry’s shoulders slumped. Messing with Leylen’shni’gul’s head would be a terrible thing to do anyway. Harry told himself he was glad it wasn’t an option.
Ksar said, “If you don’t come back, her parents will go to the Council. The consequences…you can’t even imagine them. You have no choice, Harry.”
Harry.
For some reason, the use of his human name by his brother hurt. It finally made it real. He was going back. He had no choice.
Harry swallowed the hard lump in his throat, and said, “Just let me write him a note, then. I can’t disappear without a word again. I can’t do that to him, Ksar.”
His brother studied him for a long moment before nodding. “Keep it brief. Don’t say anything that’ll get you into trouble. Hurry up. We’re wasting time.”
Harry turned and disappeared into Adam’s bedroom. He grabbed a pen and a piece of paper from the drawer in Adam’s room. He had to concentrate hard to make sure his handwriting was in English. The translating chip was a bit of a hit or miss when it came to writing.
It didn’t help that his vision was blurry with tears and his hand was shaking as he wrote a short, inadequate message.
By the end of it, Harry could barely see the letters—or anything else, for that matter.
He dropped the paper on Adam’s bed and wiped at his eyes.
Looking around the room, his gaze fell on the photograph of Adam with his arms around his parents. He was smiling widely, handsome and happy.
Harry’s eyes welled with tears again.
Harry bit his wobbling lip before removing the picture from its frame, folding it carefully, and hiding it in his pocket.
“Are you ready, Harht? We’re leaving,” Ksar said from the doorway. Seyn stood beside him, a sullen expression on his face, his wrist firmly gripped in Ksar’s hand.
“Take my hand,” Ksar ordered, offering Harry his other hand.
Harry stared at it.
He looked around the room for the last time, at the note on the bed, and took a step toward his brother.
If Ksar noticed that his eyes were wet, he didn’t comment on it as their hands clasped and the world—Earth—faded away, taking them away.
This time for good.