I was waiting in my room, pacing in indecision. I glanced at the watch on my wrist and grimaced.

“Shit,” I muttered. “Too much time.”

I wanted Lexi badly, but I knew I needed to give her space after last night before I scared her away. Also, I needed to get control of myself, and I’d thought some space between us would be a good thing, for the both of us.

But I could barely stand it. I hadn't left the house the whole day; I’d barely left my room because I was worried I would run into her. More than that, I was worried that I would go looking for her deliberately when I was supposed to be staying away. It was harder than I’d thought it would be, keeping away from this woman that I hadn't known for longer than a week.

After another round of pacing, I checked my watch again. It was a few minutes to seven p.m.; the time food was usually set in the dining room. I’d had breakfast in my room, just in case Lexi woke up early, even though she usually sleeps later than I do. Lunch was the same. I’d pretty much wasted an entire day in my room, too scared to even make a break for my home office. I didn’t do work in my room, so I’d pretty much just played games on my large screen, which wasn’t as fun without Edward here to enjoy it with me, or at least my friend joining me online for a game or two.

It reminded me so much of my teenage days, and I wondered now how I’d survived for days doing nothing but playing mindless video games. After I’d entered adult life, I just didn’t see them the same way.

“Do I go see her, or not?” I asked aloud. “I told her to come to my room, but what if she wants me there?”

There was no convenient way to ask without letting her know I wanted to be there. And it would just be silly to ask the girl if I could join her at the table in my dining room. So after some more pacing, I let out an explosive sigh and moved to my closet.

“Might as well join her. She might get lonely by herself,” I said to myself, feeling hopeful.

I’d spent the day in a pair of sweats and a t-shirt, but it wasn’t nearly good enough to show up in front of Lexi in. So I switched them out for a formal pair of slacks and a button-down shirt. I left the shirt open at the collar, fastened the cuffs, and then pulled on a belt. I pulled on a pair of loafers and left my room.

I got to the dining room, just in time for the maids setting the table to see me and realize I would be sitting at the table. They’d already set one place, but they added another for me, at my usual chair. By the time Lexi walked in, several minutes later, the food was all set, and I was just waiting for her to eat.

“Lexi,” I said in greeting, pushing back my chair so I could stand.

She’d frozen in the doorway, looking at me with wide eyes, like she was surprised to see me.

“Ryan?” she said, sounding confused. “I… didn’t think I’d be seeing you until later.”

I ran a nervous hand down the front of my shirt, hoping she wouldn’t recognize the movement for what it was.

“I… decided it would be a waste to have our meals served separately. Please, sit.”

I gestured toward her chair on the opposite side of me, and she finally moved from the doorway. Her movements were tentative, but she walked across the room and to her chair. I sat down in my seat at the head of the table, and she sat to my right.

Once we were both seated, I looked to Lexi, waiting for her to start eating. But, she didn’t move, staring right back at me. Neither of us said a word, though we probably both had a lot we wanted to say. I almost pushed myself forward to begin first, to ask how she’d been, if she felt fine from last night, physically and emotionally. If she’d missed me as much as I’d missed her over the course of the day.

Instead, I picked up the utensils, ready to start digging in.

“Can I ask you a few questions?”

That had me pausing and looking back at her. I was a little surprised she’d mustered up the courage where I couldn’t. Then I set the utensils down and pursed my lips at her.

“Do they all pertain to the contract?” I asked.

She nodded slowly. “A few of them are personal, but I do mostly want to find out more about this contract.”

I returned her nod. “Very well. You can ask whatever you want, but I get to decide whether to answer you or not. I would also like to ask if we can eat while we speak. The food will get cold.”

“All right,” she muttered, picking up her utensils.

When I saw her starting to eat, I followed suit, waiting for her questions. I made sure I looked unflappable on the outside, but I was worried about her questions and whether or not I could answer any of them to her satisfaction. Was she going to up and leave if she wasn’t satisfied?

“I’ve meant to ask,” she started slowly after a few more minutes of silence. “About your wife. I mean… Edward’s mother. I haven’t seen a picture of her anywhere; I only guessed you were married. Were the two of you… in the same…?”

“Arrangement?” I finished for her, once I realized where she was leading with that question. “If she and I had the same arrangement as with you? No. I knew her for a while, we dated. We were married.”

“Were,” she repeated.

I gave her a hard look that told her not to prod too deeply. “Were,” I said firmly.

She nodded and looked down as she took another bite. She chewed thoughtfully, and I was watching her the entire time as she deliberated her next question.

“About the contract, then. If everything goes well and I conceive, what happens once I give birth to the child? If, say… I want to keep seeing him or her? I wouldn’t try to take them with me; I doubt I’d be able to look after a child alone. But if I thought about it?”

I frowned at her question, wondering if she was trying to imply that she felt that way. That didn’t quite sit well with me. I’d viewed our contract as ending rather quickly once she had the baby.

“I’m afraid that won’t be possible,” I said with stiff formality, even more than I’d already displayed so far. “Once you have the child, you will be signing over legal rights to me. The contract beforehand comes in as a safeguard. You can't renege on the deal afterward, unless you want to get dragged through a court case.”

She frowned and paused with her fork halfway to her mouth. Slowly, she lowered it to her plate, her expression serious as she looked at me.

“Are you telling me… I won’t even be allowed to see my child?”

“You shouldn’t get things wrong,” I corrected her. “The child will be mine. Your work as a surrogate is to help me carry him or her, but after that, you get to live your life, and I go back to mine. It is be the best thing to do for the both of us.”

After all, it wouldn’t do to get her attached to the child when she would have to leave them anyway. And in the same vein, neither I nor Edward would have to get attached to her, knowing she would be going off to pursue her dreams.

“I get that we have a contract, but do I have to cut off complete contact?” she asked, looking visibly upset as the frown grew deeper on her face, and she fisted her hands on the table. “I mean… after the birth, I’m going to need some time off to recover. Then I’ll be going off to school, and there would be breaks. I could come back, maybe babysit—”

“There would be no need,” I cut her off. “I have people that can do that sort of thing for me, and I’ll be around at home a lot in place of you for the baby. You will be allowed to see the baby, of course. You just won’t be able to hold them. It would be for the best.”

Lexi didn’t see things my way, because she jumped up, looking all indignant.

“What do you mean, it would be for the best?” she complained. “No one would have to know the child was mine—”

“I’m not budging on this, Lexi.”

She seemed to freeze at the use of her name and just stood there blinking at me for a few minutes. Then, she moved away from the table, and I went to stand when I noticed her stumble. But she shot me a hard look that had me going still in my chair.

“Please excuse me,” she said quietly, averting her eyes. “I lost my appetite.”

I watched her leave; my lips pressed tightly together.

Was what I was doing so wrong?

Lexi, you still seem to think it’s as simple as a contract, but once you see this child, hold them. Would you want to give them up? Because I wouldn’t either.