I’m not supposed to be listening, but I can’t help it.

After I get dressed I tiptoe into the hallway upstairs and sit on the stairs. The men downstairs can’t see me, but I can hear them. As soon as I hear the man, I hop up so I’m not caught eavesdropping.

Axel is probably pacing back and forth in the kitchen, clearing his head as he gets ready to leave.

I know he’s going to leave now. He has to.

After the threats the man made. I’ll bet that picture of us is really revealing. If I were Axel, I’d be leaving too. Not that I want him to leave, but it seems inevitable. Deep down, I think I always knew he would.

Us being together as a family felt too good to be true, and now I realize it was.

I’m about to give in to a few tears when Lark runs over to me and hugs my legs tight.

She must have missed me last night. It is strange spending the night away from her.

“What’s wrong, Mommy?”

I sniff. “Nothing. Maybe a little bit of allergies.”

“Do you need a tissue?” she asks, and it breaks my heart. My daughter shouldn’t be comforting me.

What have I done, putting my baby and myself in this position?

“No, but thank you. You’re an awfully sweet little girl.” I kiss the soft curls near her forehead.

I sit down on the stairs again and hold her close. It occurs to me that this time, when Axel leaves it will be just me and Lark. In the past I always had someone to help me with her—my dad or Jason. But this time it will be just us girls.

I can already feel the hole Axel will leave in our lives widening.

“Is Axel leaving?” Lark asks. Children know things and Lark is a smart cookie. And suddenly I’m so relieved I never told her that Axel was her father.

I promised Axel that I would tell her, but how can he hold me to that now that he’s leaving us once again? That’s not the message I want Lark to get about dads. Men. That they constantly leave you, and that’s okay. No, I’d rather she not even know who he is.

“No, sweetie,” I lie through my teeth, and I hate myself for doing it. I’ll find a way to make it up to Lark later. I feel sick betraying her trust like this, but I can’t deal with her disappointment on top of my own right now. Not when I feel I might break apart again.

“Let’s go upstairs.” I lug her into my arms and haul her down to Selena’s room. She’s getting heavy and soon I won’t be able to pick her up anymore, not like Axel can. He’s so strong, it’s easy for him to pick her up. Heck, he picks us both up.

But that’s about to change.

“It’s morning!” Lark protests through her yawns, and even though sunlight is shining in the windows, I need to keep her occupied while I talk with Axel.

“That’s okay.” I tickle her, a surefire distraction tactic. “You’re a silly, goose. A silly goose.”

She denies it, but she’s smiling all the while. When I open the door to my room, I say, “Hey come get under the covers, squirt. I’ve got a great story for you to listen to.”

“Are you going to listen with me, Mommy?”

“I will, but first Mommy has to go talk with Axel for a few minutes. You just listen to your book, and I’ll be back soon.”

Lark nods then snuggles up with her stuffed bunny and forgets all about me, lost in her story.

As many times as I’ve asked Selena to watch her lately, I’m happy to give her a break this morning. She needs her rest so her leg can heal properly. Hopefully, I won’t be gone long, I think as I head downstairs in search of Axel.

He and I need to talk.

He needs to know that we can never see each other again.

It’s too much upheaval for my daughter. Not to mention me.

I’m not sure how to tell him, because I don’t want him to know I heard him.

Every step I take, I feel a little piece of my heart die.

But when I get downstairs Axel isn’t there, so I go looking for him.

I call out his name as I walk along the beach and wonder if he’s already left. Maybe he decided to go without saying goodbye. Maybe he thought that would make it easier on both of us. Or maybe he never really cared at all.

I can’t think like that. I know he loves me. But this situation is tainting every memory we’ve ever had together, and it feels like each moment was just another stepping stone toward the ultimate heartbreak.

When I finally find him, he’s sitting in the sand where we made love last night. He’s put on some clothes, though. Loose fitting shorts and a looser shirt that blows with the wind, making it seem like he’s running away from something even though he’s sitting still.

I plant myself in the sand beside him.

But I don’t say anything, and neither does he.

For a while, we just sit there. The wind blows and the ocean’s waves roll in and then back out to sea, leaving driftwood and debris behind—battered and sun-bleached, but still it survives.

I wish we could do that.

I offer him my hand, and he takes it in his. Still we sit there quietly. It’s not as tense as this should be. But as soon as I speak everything changes.

“Axel.”

“Olive.”

We say each other’s names at the same time, stumbling over each other in our attempts to get out whatever we have to say first. He pulls me to him, words like “It will be all right” and “I’ll come back” flow from his mouth.

Promises. Promises I can’t believe, and I have to tell him.

“Axel,” I gulp out his name again, moving my eyes down so he doesn’t see how little I mean what I’m saying.

“Axel …” I repeat his name again, trying to sound less unsure. He’s having none of it and grabs my chin, making me look at him.

And every hope I had of sounding reasonable fades away as he looks at me. Eye to eye.

Not for the first time, but probably for the last I blurt it out, “We’re not going to work out, Axel.”

He stares at me, and I see a flash of hurt that I’ll never forget before he recovers.

“What? Olive.” He presses a hand to my forehead, trying to be the jokester he usually is. The man I fell in love with. The man I love. “I think you’re getting sick, baby.”

“No.” I shake my head. He can’t know I overheard, or he’ll just want to go back to me. He needs to think this is all my doing, but I can’t bring myself to break his heart like that.

“Axel, this is nice, and, and, everything. It’s nice.” It’s the best thing I’ve ever had, and I can’t believe I’m saying this. “But we’re not right for each other.”

We’re perfect.

We were born to live and die together, leave our mark on the world as one.

“After this …” I breathe. Breathe, Olive. Breathe. “I don’t want to see you again.”

Our hands are entwined until the last sentence, the grip getting weaker and weaker with each word.

Axel’s jaw clenches. He throws his fist into the sand and gets up, running as far away from me as he can. Then I get up too, and I’m running away from myself as best I can, too, but unfortunately, I’ll always be stuck with me.

I’m not even halfway to the villa when the tears finally fall.