The apartment is different from the last time I was here, and I can’t tell if that’s a good thing. The absence of Jason is an improvement. But it also feels like it’s missing something. I’m not used to being in this apartment without a man here, and Axel would fit perfectly, splayed out across the sofa and smirking as he gets up to get some food, to grab me, or to just tease Lark. To bond with us.

I’m barely in the door, and yet the place fills me with a sense of nostalgia tinged with sadness. I wonder if I’d feel this way if Jason and I had come back together.

I motion for Lark to go in first.

She shakes her head frantically, holding out a hand demanding I give the suitcase to her. Both of our stuff had been packed in it, and she wants to carry it.

“Okay, little woman.” I ruffle her hair, imitating Axel’s voice as best I could, echoing how parents sometimes call their little boys little men.

With a look of triumph, Lark grabs it from me and drags it as best she can into the foyer. The living room is otherwise empty, and I have a clear view of the kitchen. There’s still a pot on the stove and I rush over to it, praying that no one left food out for two weeks.

When I notice it’s squeaky clean, I exhale. Thank goodness.

A pang of guilt washes over me as I enter the kitchen, reminding me that Axel had teased me about his cooking skills. He really wanted to cook for me.

And I hadn’t let him, and I missed my chance. The same way I missed a lot of others. Why was I so preoccupied with Axel in my own apartment when he’d only been here once? Drunk and …

The doorbell rings.

It’s probably Selena.

She wanted to stop by a store on the way home, and said she’d be a little late. But my heart springs with hope that it might be Axel, coming to the door to tell me that he still hasn’t given up on me.

I rush to the door to open it only to see the last person I expected.

Jason.

He’s carrying a bouquet of flowers.

Red roses, not white like the ones Axel would have gotten for me, if it were him at the door right now.

I attempt to slam the door, but his foot is in the way, holding it ajar. He yelps in pain—Axel would never have done that. Just then Selena comes running up the stairs, a package of pink cupcakes in her arms.

“What the hell?” Selena’s face doesn’t fit the prissy pink of the promised baked goods in her hand. “Jason? Get the hell out.”

Only his foot is in the apartment, but I’m inclined to agree with Selena. What the …?

Thankfully Lark’s is in her room. She doesn’t need to see this. Jason raises his hands over his head in surrender.

“I just want another chance,” he whines to me. “I messed up, baby, please forgi—”

He’s interrupted by a shriek of laughter from Lark, who apparently is no longer in her room.

Dammit!

Then I turn back to see what got that reaction, what made Jason’s face go from whiny prick to “oh crap.”

Selena has a cupcake out, all pink frosting with blue sprinkles, and she’s smeared it all over the back of his head. She dips a finger in it, brings a dab of icing to her mouth and gives it a lick. Her face breaks into a grimace.

“Ugh, nasty! You ruined it,” she complains. “God! Get out!”

Shocked and indignant, Jason leaves.

“That was really weird,” I say, trying not to laugh.

“Girl! Listen.” Selena taps her foot, demanding my attention, and I realize where Lark got that behavior from. “I know you’re thinking about Axel. Don’t lie to me.”

I try to look away, but she keeps talking.

“Olive Wilson, this is important!” I look at her, surprised she used my full name, even though it’s something she’s done plenty of times.

“You need to go after Axel, Olive. He’s not going to give up on you. So you don’t get to give up on him either.”

“I just got home. I’m tired. I don’t even know where he is.”

“He’s at that hotel down the block from the sandwich shop,” Selena says, coming into the foyer and pushing me back out the door. “There’s a match in the crown room, or something. No excuses. Now I’ll watch Lark.” She pushes me again. “Go.”

“Wait, I—”

She raises a hand. “I said no excuses. You’ll see the flyers.”

Tabloids are what got us in this mess, but I’m grateful for them because the only reason the bouncers let me go backstage is because they recognize me. It’s super crowded, the people are horrible, and I’m starting to regret coming back here.

But I can’t back out now.

A burly, bald man waves me in, and I go searching through the back. In the midst of the people standing about, there are some punching bags and other training equipment that I assume are for Axel. A woman in heels glares at me. She’s beckoning some of the big guys to throw me out when Coach Parker sees me and calls me over.

“You’re here for Axel, right? He’s over there.” He nods to a door that’s separated by a curtain. I look through it briefly, trying to see if I can make out Axel from this angle, but from where I’m standing, I can’t see anything.

“It doesn’t help that you’re short,” Coach Parker says. “Wait back here and as soon as the match is over, I’ll send you right out.”

It’s only a matter of minutes before Coach nods and tells me it’s time for me to go out, and he pulls the curtain back for me. I open it the rest of the way and walk toward the ring.

It smells worse on this side, but that’s to be expected. This is where the actual fighting is going on. I see Axel now, standing in the ring victorious. My heart skips a beat. He looks so handsome.

There are women all around him. He puts his arms around them and presents his cheek to them for kisses, then he turns his face, and just as he and I make eye contact, his lips smack against one of the women’s. She leaves a big red slash on his lips, and I feel like I’m going to throw up.

He releases the women and stumbles toward me.

Is he drunk? How drunk is he? I turn away from him, running through the crowds because it’s easier than letting him just follow me backstage, and he’ll have to fight through the swarms of people anyway.

As I rush through the crowd, I think I pass Jason, but it’s probably my imagination. I’m so upset my mind is probably playing tricks on me. And the tears in my eyes make it hard to be sure about a lot of things.