Good morning, Mr. Crane,” Bobbie greeted Tag as the elevator deposited him in front of her desk.
“Reese in there?” he asked, forgoing his normal banter.
“What, no ‘schnookums’?”
Bobbie’s ultracasual reaction made him blink in surprise. “Sorry, off my game today.”
In so many ways.
“I should say so.” She didn’t push him further, simply slipped back into her formal routine. “He returned from lunch ten minutes ago.”
“Good.”
Bobbie hit the intercom to announce him, but Tag mashed the button on her desk to open the office doors before she could. Reese, standing at his desk with a palm full of pink WHILE YOU WERE OUT notes, paused flipping through them. Behind Tag, the office doors whooshed shut.
“I need the number of your therapist.”
“Nice of you to call as usual,” Reese said, droll. “I don’t have a therapist.”
“She’s at my apartment.”
Reese’s brow crinkled. “Who?”
“Rachel Foster.” Tag walked to his usual seat, couldn’t sit, so he paced to the window. He turned and pointed at Reese. “This is your fault.”
His brother’s frown intensified.
“You were the one spewing that shit about how Mom’s death made the Crane boys scared of girls.” He waggled his fingers in front of him, realizing he probably looked and sounded crazed. “So what did I do? I leaned in to it. I let it happen. I told myself I wasn’t scared of anything, and now she lives with me.” He crammed his hands into his jeans pockets. “Kind of.”
Reese abandoned the notes and came out from behind his desk to stand in front of Tag. “I’m missing something.”
“Her roommate booted her out of her apartment because they’re leaving and transferring the lease. She was homeless. What was I supposed to do?”
“Be a good boyfriend and let her stay with you,” Reese answered with a shrug.
At the word boyfriend, Tag’s stomach flipped. He’d once told Rachel he wasn’t boyfriend material, and no matter what he was “leaning in to,” that hadn’t changed.
“Maybe you do need a therapist. You’re pale. Sit down.”
Tag shook his head and bypassed the chair, pushing his fingers into his hair. “This isn’t normal. Cranes are not normal. We’re fucked up.”
“You’re normal.” Reese was his usual calm, stoic self, which was what Tag needed right now. “This is a big step and a first for you. Look at me. I holed up in a hotel suite like Howard Hughes last year.”
Tag dropped his arms. “You need therapy, too.”
“Probably.” One side of Reese’s mouth lifted. He gestured to the chair by his desk.
Tag dropped into it, one foot bobbing from too much coffee.
“How long has she been there?”
“Four days.” Tag scratched his cheek. “She has no idea I’m in full-on panic mode.”
“You’re not in panic mode. You’re fine.”
Tag took a deep breath. He wasn’t fine. Every passing day, he felt more trapped. Or…not trapped. Stuck. He was freaked. And this morning, he thought he’d figured out why.
“Remember when we were kids and Mom would be up packing our lunches, a cup of coffee by her elbow?” Tag asked. “Dad would come down, kiss her on the cheek, and pour himself a mug.”
Reese frowned, his answer a simple, “I remember.”
Tag swallowed down a bout of nausea and forced himself to continue. “Rachel was making a sandwich for her lunch this morning, a mug of coffee sitting next to her elbow. Sun was streaming over her blond hair. Then she looked up…and smiled at me. My heart just…stopped.”
And time along with it. The surreal moment played out in slow motion, and Tag caught a glimpse of a future that scared him.
“I can’t do this, bro.” Tag’s desperate laugh was dry and devoid of humor. “And I have no idea why.”
Reese lowered onto his desk, perched on the edge while looking down at Tag, concern evident on his features. Tag said nothing, just waited. There was nothing to say. He was a mental basket case who was freaking out because things were good. Now he was wondering if he’d missed the window to end things before they turned bad. He had no idea where the self-sabotaging thoughts had come from, so he had come here.
“You should leave,” Reese said.
Tag flinched. “Leave?”
“Yes.” Reese stood and smoothed his tie. “You have cabin fever. Get out of there.”
“What, like move?” Tag asked with a laugh. Because seriously, what was his brother talking about?
“Hawaii,” Reese said, deadly serious. “Blue ocean, bluer skies, sand, and surf.”
Tag leaned back in the chair and narrowed his eyes. “What’s going on?”
“I found some land in Maui. Perfect for a new build. I didn’t want to ask you to go since you were busy with the bar projects, but now…Maybe you should go instead of me.”
“I can’t go to Maui.” But man, did the idea of breathing clean ocean air appeal. He could leave his penthouse since it had inexplicably turned stifling.
“You can. You should. Before you do something stupid.” Reese crossed his arms over his chest. “Like barricade yourself in a hotel suite and ask your wife for a divorce.”
Tag remembered when Reese had gone through that. It was a rough patch both he and Merina had miraculously made it through together.
“You’re never home this much, Tag. Normally, every two or three days you’re gone.”
He hadn’t considered that, but damn, Reese was right. Tag typically traveled so much, he kept an overnight bag packed and ready. He’d been on one trip over the last several months, and it wasn’t a trip he’d taken alone.
“Tell me about Maui,” Tag said with a nod. A business trip might be just what his fictional therapist ordered.
“It’s a perfect slice of land,” Reese said with a smile that reflected his pride in finding it. “I wanted to go with an updated design for this one. Like we did in Miami.”
“Miami.” Tag practically salivated. Crane Miami with its ultra-svelte style and splashy lobby. The entire building lit up hot pink and electric blue at night. He rubbed his hands together, possibility blooming before him. What if Reese was right and what Tag needed was a project to sink his teeth into? A getaway to clear his head?
“Well?”
Breathe. Tag felt like he could breathe for the first time in days.
“I’m on it.” He’d overseen grand openings for restaurants and bars for Crane Hotels, but he’d never been a part of choosing the plot of land one would sit on. He couldn’t pass up the opportunity.
“Good. I’ll email you the details and have Bobbie set an appointment with the Realtor,” Reese said, then paused. “Tell me something. You’re the pro at letting girls down. Refusing Rachel should be well within your skill set. Why didn’t you?”
“I hate seeing her sad.” The lost look on her face. Her fear that she couldn’t tell him about her problems. She was so worried over him providing things for her. Didn’t she see he could? That he wanted to?
But that wasn’t the only reason.
“I care about her,” Tag admitted.
Reese watched him for a moment. “I know.”
His brother understood what he was going through. Being understood after feeling like he was losing his marbles was such a relief, Tag blew out a sigh, slightly embarrassed about coming in here and having a meltdown in front of a guy who had a tight grip on his faculties.
“Thanks, Doc.” Tag pushed out of the chair. His brother had suggested he go to Maui for a good reason. Tag needed to go to Maui not only for himself but also for Rachel. For them. Before he went mental. “Guess I’m off to Maui.”
“Send me a postcard,” Reese said from his desk, flipping through the stack of pink notes again.
Tag turned for the door, feeling better and, oddly enough, worse. Part of him felt like he was running, but if he expected to figure out what had him knotted up, Hawaii could hold the answers.
In front of Bobbie’s desk, Tag stopped and sent her a grin. “Darling, can you book me a flight to Maui?”
“Sure thing, sugarplum,” Bobbie said with the smile he’d been trying to tease from her for years. “When are you leaving?”
* * *
“I already miss you so much!” Bree cried. Not literally, but her face scrunched up like she might cry at any moment.
“You are a broken record,” Rachel teased. “I’ll miss you, too. At least we’ll work my last shift here together.”
“I guess.” With an exaggerated pout, Bree continued, “You have a fancy job, and a fancy life, and soon you’ll be married and living in Tuscany.”
“I don’t even like Tuscany.”
“Love makes you do crazy things.”
“I never said I was in love,” Rachel said with an uncomfortable laugh.
Bree propped a hand on her hip. “I’m not blind, Rach.”
“Miss, can I get a Monte Cristo sandwich to go?” a customer, waving a twenty, said at the worst possible time. Bree handled the transaction quickly and delivered an on-the-house Coke with a smile. Then she was back to Rachel.
“Besides, I can’t be in love with him,” Rachel said. “I don’t think he’s in love with me.”
Bree clucked her tongue like Rachel was being petty. “Why would you say that?”
“Because he flew to Hawaii yesterday morning.” He was excited about the trip—almost too excited. Seeing him jazzed about leaving stung.
Bree screwed her eyes up to the ceiling. “So?”
“So? He’s been acting downright twitchy since he offered his penthouse as my home away from home, and then yesterday he was bouncing off the walls because he was going to Hawaii.”
“Well, it is Hawaii. And you shouldn’t be surprised. His job requires traveling.”
“I know he travels. Traveling is not the issue.” Rachel huffed, knowing she sounded petty and grouchy. “I’m excited to hear from him already. Like, I’m already waiting for him to call.”
“That’s because you love him.” Bree beamed, fluttering her lashes.
Thank God Rachel hadn’t told Tag that. He’d have booked a trip to the moon instead of Maui.
“He has been gone less than a day, and I miss him so much my chest hurts. I can’t help but remember how much I depended on Shaun and how he ended up leaving. Tag hasn’t given me any indication we’ll stay together for the long haul.”
“Do you want to stay with him for the long haul?”
Rachel pressed her lips together. She didn’t know. Yes. No. Maybe. She needed a Magic 8 Ball.
“But he hasn’t asked you to leave,” Bree said.
“No, he’s been intensely polite about my being there,” Rachel said flatly. Her newfound situation smacked of what Lucas’s wife, Gena, had told Rachel in that restaurant bathroom. Tag had a lot of girl space friends. Because he never wanted to hurt them, so he let them down as easily as possible. “Shaun slowly cut me loose, too, Bree. Months and months passed by before things imploded. I can’t let that happen again.”
Remembering the slow fade and painful breakup was enough to make Rachel break out in hives. Was she on the brink of another breakup like it?
“Rach.” Bree’s eyes filled with concern. “It makes sense for you to be nervous about where things are heading. Love is big and scary. You’re both probably adjusting. I’ve seen you with him, and I’ve seen the way he looks at you. He looks like a man in love to me. Maybe he hasn’t admitted it yet. To himself or to you.”
Rachel considered the possibility. How long until he admitted it? Until she did? They could lose another season dancing around each other and never making any progress. She couldn’t take that. Not again.
“Once he calls you’ll feel better,” Bree said. “I’ve said this before, but it bears repeating. Tag is not Shaun. He’s not plotting your corporate demise.”
Another customer sat at the bar, and Bree moved to greet him.
Rachel pulled her phone out of her pocket to check the time, calculating the flight to Honolulu, how long it’d take to land and arrive at the Crane Makai hotel…
Bree was right. Tag was nothing like Shaun. He bested her ex in every way. But she couldn’t escape the idea that her loving Tag was a one-way street, and she knew exactly where that street ended—with her, alone, picking up the pieces on a life she hadn’t ordered.
She needed to find out what was going on in Tag’s head.
* * *
Tag called the next afternoon at one her time. She was typing an email and stopped midsentence when her cell phone showed his name. She slipped away from her desk and she stepped into the hallway by the elevators for privacy.
“Hi.” She heard the breathlessness of her greeting.
“Hey, Dimples.”
His rumbling, soothing voice made her miss him that much more. And it’d been one day. She was so screwed.
“I hear surf and sand.” She pictured the beach. The blazing sun. Surfing. Part of her wilted when she wondered if she’d ever see Hawaii with Tag again.
“You can’t hear sand.” He chuckled, the sound easing her nerves.
“You know what I mean.”
“I do. I wanted to call and check in. Have everything you need?”
“I’m not wanting for anything.” She paused as a coworker walked past her with a full cup of coffee. After he was gone, she decided to be brave and added, “Except for you.”
“I like that.” His tone dipped into a low, sexy tenor. “So. I have good news.”
“The bar design is working?” Pride laced through her. She’d worked hard with him to make the Oahu bar project as seamless as possible.
“I think so, but that’s not the news. I’m standing on a patch of ground where there will someday be a new Crane Hotel.”
“Did you buy the land?” He’d mentioned he was going there to look at it.
“Not yet, but the Realtor is on his way, and I’m going to tell him yes. I already called Reese. It’s perfect. I can envision the direction the hotel will face, where the bars will go—maybe your designs.”
He sounded happy. Happy, and like he was a million miles away. From Chicago, from her heart.
“That’s great,” she forced out, feeling that gap widen further. She was ready to leap with him, but was he ready to leap with her? There was no way to tell for sure, and the timing was off…unless…She’d felt so distant from him lately. Like they hadn’t been on the same page. She’d turned over and over the idea of him joining her at her cousin’s wedding this weekend. Maybe he’d reconsider?
“I had a proposition for you, actually,” she said before she lost her nerve.
“Let’s hear it.”
She swallowed and cleared her throat, willing herself to ask. No. She wouldn’t ask. She’d tell him what she wanted. Be bold. After all they’d been through together, she should be able to speak her mind instead of tiptoe around him.
“When you get back,” she said, “I’d like to take you to my cousin’s wedding in Ohio.” She held her breath after she asked, feeling like she was at the edge of a very steep cliff.
Tag didn’t do weddings. Gena had told her that. Heck, Tag had told her that. She told herself she wasn’t testing him, but in a way this felt like a test. An easy way to determine how “in” he was with her would be him either accepting or dodging that commitment.
“The…wedding?” His voice was cautious, lost beneath the wind blowing over the speaker of the phone.
“It’s Saturday,” she pushed. This was important to her. If they were going to be together, he couldn’t shy away from a simple request. They would attend weddings and other family gatherings in the future if what they had grew into more. She wanted it to be more. “I know you won’t be back home until Friday, but we can leave Saturday morning. It’s only a six-hour drive.”
More wind. Then silence.
“Tag?”
“I can’t. I’m sorry.” Gone was the light happiness in his voice, replaced by rigidity.
The answer hit her like a slap. He was saying no to so much more than attending a ceremony with her. He was saying no to them.
“I’ll have a lot of work to catch up on when I’m back. Especially if I pull the trigger on this deal. Oh, hey, the Realtor is here. I’ll call later. And, Dimples, don’t forget, the moving company is scheduled to be at your apartment this afternoon. Make sure they get everything they’re supposed to into storage for you, okay?”
“Sure,” she mumbled, feeling her heart crush like an aluminum can.
“Hey, why don’t you take my Aston Martin to Ohio? Unless you prefer flying. I can book you a flight tonight if you text me the particulars.”
“A flight?”
“Whatever you like, Dimples. I’m happy to help. Gotta go.”
He hung up and despite his generosity and the sweet way he said her nickname, she still had the horrific urge to cry. She leaned against the wall and stared down at the floor, her mind muddy.
She wasn’t going to drive Tag’s two-hundred-thousand-dollar car to Derby, Ohio. And she wasn’t taking a private jet, either. Her invitation to the wedding was about forging a real connection with Tag—about him overcoming his fear. She’d tackled all of hers, and at times, it hadn’t been easy. Yet, he wasn’t willing to leap that same hurdle for her.
Unacceptable.
She couldn’t be the only one moving forward in this relationship. She couldn’t be the only one wanting more, or they’d stay in this endless loop forever…or until one of them left.
She’d fallen in love with him. And while Tag was willing to provide moving trucks and fancy cars and private jets, he seemed incapable of giving her the one part of him she wanted most.
His heart.