CHAPTER 19

As the fog cleared and dreams drifted away from reality, Garret opened his eyes. Skye was lying with her back against him, her small taut behind hugging his early morning erection. He wanted nothing more than to pull her close and make love to her again, but he needed to think.

Slowly he inched backwards, careful not to wake her, and got up. What happened last night? Hadn’t he vowed that he needed her out of his life; instead he made love with her. He had told himself last night that his best course of action would be to break things off with her. Then she had slipped through and made him weak. Made him believe that he could love again.

Last night wasn’t about sex. Deep down he knew that, but he refused to admit what it was. It was something he hadn’t even experienced with Vanessa. Something deeper and more meaningful that he had had with a woman he wanted to marry two years ago.

He thought back to how his heart had clenched as he slipped inside her, how it grew heavy with love as he watched her come. Sometime last night as he was nestled deep inside Skye, he knew something happened.

Something he promised himself wouldn’t happen. He had gone and slowly let down some of the barriers around his heart.

With her soft hands and kind heart she slipped through the cracks and started to take hold of it. Her hair was sprawled over his pillow, her smooth skin peeking out above the sheets, how could he walk away from her? He itched to stroke her shoulder. To watch her slowly awaken from arousal and to make love to her again in the soft light of morning. How could he leave her if his heart wanted to stay?

He had to. How would he survive if she left him, or worse, cheated on him? Knowing he had to look out for himself, at least until he knew what he wanted, he knew he had to leave.

He grabbed his clothes and headed to the guest bathroom. He switched on the shower to scalding and climbed beneath the hot water. He knew he was punishing himself for what he was about to do, but he had to. Once he was finished he slowly opened the bedroom door.

She was still sleeping. She softly sighed in her sleep before turning over. He watched her face in dim light. The sharp angles and wide eyes and knew he would lose himself in them if he stayed.

Quietly he made his way downstairs. He cleaned the last shards of glass and slipped them into the dustbin knowing he was procrastinating. He needed to get away from Skye so he could clear his head and arrange his thoughts.

On the bright side, he convinced himself he wasn’t leaving to forget about her, yet. He was leaving to make sure she was what he wanted. That he wanted her enough to risk getting hurt again.

The drive to Manhattan was made in complete silence. He didn’t notice the mother pushing a pram with a baby inside, or the party bus with college students flashing their breasts at him as they drove past. He was lost in his own mind. Lost in the conflicting desires of heart and his mind that he didn’t even think to switch the radio on.

His heart wanted Skye, wanted to wake up with her every morning, wanted to make love with her, even wanted to see her swell with his children in the future.

His mind was the problem. The memories of the past two years flashed through his mind as he drove. The drunken nights trying to forget Vanessa, the cynical outlook on life he had come to see as a way of living. The pain of knowing she was with another man. It was his mind that stopped him from turning back and getting back into bed with Skye. It was his mind that convinced him that he wouldn’t survive walking in on Skye with another man.

It was his mind that reminded him how hard it had been to move on. How the only thing that had gotten him through it was his business.

Knowing that was the answer now, he pushed down on the accelerator, hoping that the faster he got to New York, the faster he would see clearly.

As he drove into New York Garret couldn’t help but notice all the places he and Skye both had frequented before knowing each other. Why didn’t they meet then? Why in the Hamptons, why now? As questions ran over and over through his mind he pulled into the private parking garage underneath his building.

Once inside his apartment he felt his phone vibrate in his pocket.

It was Skye, it had to be. Closing his eyes he wished it would be Skye; that she would tell him that she loved him and that he should come back. He knew if she did, he wouldn’t think twice about turning back. It already felt as if he had left half of his heart in the Hamptons, he didn’t need reminding.

He pulled out his phone and closed his eyes before answering. “Garret Roth.”

“Hey, I heard you’re in town. You coming to Rosa’s for breakfast?” Garret felt the disappointment wash over him as Cayden spoke. It wasn’t Skye.

Wincing Garret closed his eyes before answering. “I’m sorry man; I’m already back in the city.”

“What? But you just came through last night, or at least that’s what your assistant said.” Cayden asked confused.

“Yeah well, let’s just say things didn’t work out how I planned.” Garret walked towards the elevator and once inside pushed the button for his penthouse.

The line went quiet for a while before Cayden spoke again. “You and Skye break up?”

A long sigh escaped before Garret answered and the elevator doors opened. “I’m not sure, a lot happened between last night and this morning.”

“Like what? You’re being cryptic Roth, either talk straight or I’m putting down the phone.” Cayden demanded.

Garret felt his temper start to flare, he knew it wasn’t Cayden’s fault but he was the closest thing to a punching bag at the moment. “Fine, then put the fucking phone down, then I won’t tell you about Vanessa trashing my apartment, me basically verbally assaulting Skye and then spending an amazing night that rocked me to the core. A night that rocked me so much that I ran tail between my legs back to the city this morning.”

“What!” Cayden asked surprised. “Okay I won’t hang up but start with Vanessa.”

Garret took a deep breath before he told Cayden all about what had happened with Vanessa, the consequent fall out with Skye and the memorable night he had spent with her afterwards. He had never been one to talk about his feelings, but somehow saying it all out loud already made him feel better.

“Wow, you’ve had a rough night. I told you the Ice Queen was fucking crazy. Believe me now?”

“Cayden!” Garret warned, he didn’t need a psych consult on Vanessa, all his worst assumptions had been confirmed last night.

“So what are you going to do?” Cayden asked when Garret had finally finished.

“I don’t know. I don’t want to start a relationship with Skye and I don’t want anyone else to have her if that makes sense. I’m fucked up man; this whole thing with Vanessa screwed me over again.”

“Garret, you’re being a dick.” Cayden’s voice was brisk and clear on the other side of the line.

“What?”

“You heard me. You’re being a dick. Fuck Vanessa. Take her out of the equation, take the whole evening out of the picture, and then think about what you have with Skye. Don’t let Vanessa fuck this up for you.”

“I’m afraid she’s already fucked me up.” Garret said despondently.

“Nothing is true until you believe it.” Cayden let out a big breath. “Geez, this is getting too cheesy man. Fuck Vanessa, think about the past month with Skye and make a decision.” Garret heard Cayden hesitate before he spoke again. “Oh and stop being a dick!”

With that Garret heard the definitive click of the phone as Cayden hung up on him. He wanted to draw some wisdom from the call, but the only thing he recalled was that apparently he was being a dick. Shoving the thoughts aside he decided to deal with his current situation the same way he did two years ago. Work. He checked the time on his watch, it was only ten am, he could still fit in a whole work day and at least make something work today since his personal life wasn’t.

Three days later Garret sat in his office on Saturday afternoon when his phone rang. Every time a phone had rung in his vicinity over the past three days he felt a flicker of hope that it would be Skye. After the first day he knew she wouldn’t, but he couldn’t help but hope. He wasn’t any closer to a decision about her than he was three days ago; the only thing he knew was that he missed her, every hour of every day.

He reached for the phone and all but barked at it. “Garret Roth.”

“Mr. Roth, its Charlie.”

Garret pinched the bridge of his nose between his thumb and forefinger, the name sounded familiar but he couldn’t place it. He kept quiet waiting for the man to explain.

“The groundskeeper at your property in the Hamptons?” Came the old man’s voice over the line.

“Oh right, Charlie. Sorry it’s been a rough week, what can I do for you? Was there a problem with your payment?” Garret asked. He had told his assistant to get him someone reliable, he was really going to be pissed off if he was being called up on a Saturday because someone had forgotten to pay the most reliable groundskeeper in the Hamptons.

“No, I mean yes I did get the money, but that wasn’t why I was phoning.”

“Oh. All right, then how can I help you?” Garret asked confused.

“It’s your house, Mr. Roth, the basement is flooded. I went by to check in this morning, I normally do after you were there and found it flooded, looks like a pipe burst. I’ve already switched off the mains, but thought you’d like to come take a look yourself.”

“Shit!” Garret grimaced, knowing he had no choice but to go to the Hamptons. “Fine, I’m on my way. Thanks for phoning.”

“Not a problem sir, and if you need a good plumber remember my boy Theo knows pipes better than his own bones.”

Garret smiled at the comparison before hanging up. Looks like he was heading to the one place he wanted to avoid at all cost until he had cleared his head.

Garret opened the front door and smelt the moldy scent from standing water drifting up the basement stairs. Charlie had assured him he’d be waiting for him. He walked in and found Charlie in the kitchen talking to a younger man that Garret immediately knew was his son. Both men were short with thick eyebrows and a crooked smile. The only difference was one was grey and had a bigger paunch.

“Mr. Roth, welcome. This is my son Theo; he’ll have you sorted in no time.” Charlie pushed Theo forward as Garret eyed them both.

He wanted to curse Charlie for phoning his son before Garret had even arrived, but thought better of it. It was Saturday in the Hamptons, worse it was late afternoon. The chances of a getting a plumber out to fix it today was almost zero, so if Theo wanted the job the least Garret could do was give it to him.

“Hi Theo, thanks for coming.” Garret said shaking the younger man’s hand. He looked from Charlie to Theo before asking. “How serious is it?”

“Not too bad, it wasn’t a main, but it needs to be replaced. Before we do that we need to pump the water out of the basement.” Theo waved his hands as he explained the details of what needed to be done in terms Garret vaguely followed and the timeframe which he needed.

After listening for a while Garret realized he had no idea what Theo was talking about and most of the terms went over his head. Finally he just shrugged. “Fine, you’ve convinced me. You’ve got the job.”

Father and son beamed at Garret before rushing out the front door to collect the tools and the pump they’d need. Garret moved to the fridge to get a bottle of water thinking of heading over to Seth or Stefan for the evening. That was when he noticed it.

Held there by a plain magnet, was a short note. A note from Skye.

Garret,

Thank you for letting me get to know you.

Thank you for showing me who I could be.

For showing me what it felt like to be accepted.

Thank you for letting me love you.

For letting me feel loved, even for a brief time.

Thank you for the time we had together.

Now it’s time for me to go.

Skye.

His heart sped up as his eyes rushed over the words. A steel fist grabbed him by the throat, what did I do?

When he had left her sleeping in his bed, he had thought of himself, of his feelings and his fears, he had never for a moment stopped to consider hers. He hadn’t thought of the panic attack he had caused the night before, or what it would be like for her to wake up alone in his house, without him.

He read the note again, wondering if he had made the biggest mistake of his life walking out on her three days ago. The memory of that night played over and over in his mind, her soft caresses, the way she had bared herself to him, and Garret could only hope he wasn’t too late.

Grabbing his keys he rushed out of the house, letting the front door slam behind him. Within a few strides he was firing up his car, tires screeching as tore away from the house towards Suki and Jess’s.

Charlie shook his head at the slamming door. “Either that man is afraid of water, or he has a serious issue with an under-stocked fridge.”

Theo laughed at his father’s words as he started setting up the pump to clear the basement.

Garret raced through town, as he passed The Petal and Kettle he briefly noted the doors were closed, and sped towards the house in Sag Harbor. Dark clouds were moving in, reflecting his mood. He thought he saw lightning flash in the distance but disregarded it; he only had one thought on his mind. Skye.

Fear clutched at his throat, the uncertainty of what he had caused eating at him. How could he have been so selfish? How could he have left her without a word, without a phone call, without a thought for her feelings?

He pulled up to house, tires screaming in protest before he tugged the handbrake and jumped out of the car.

What he saw caused his heart to contract, tears formed in his eyes as he slowly approached the steps where Suki and Jess were both sitting with heads bent, tears streaming down their faces. Behind them on the small porch table was an arrangement of poppies with a banner tucked inside.

We’ll miss you Skye.