Sitting on the couch, I don’t know what I’m more afraid of, what Zane is doing with Thad right now, or if a Lost Wolf might show up here. I have nothing to protect myself. All the times my dad tried to make me conceal a gun in my apartment and I reassured him I’d never need it. I need it now.

Turning on the TV, I turn it right back off. I’m anxious, and scared. When will Zane be here?

Something clatters outside, and I stand. My chest is on fire from my shallow breathing, as if me taking a slow breath will make a predator unaware of me being here. A cat meows and the clattering of a trash can sounds once again. I exhale a breath and slouch my shoulders.

“Calm the hell down,” I tell myself. I’m so scared I’m over analyzing everything. Shaking my hands out, I walk in a circle. Practicing deep breaths.

“Relax. I can do this,” I tell myself again. My eyes fall to my radio, and I stretch my neck.

“Music, how about some music?” I talk to myself. Turning on the radio next to my TV, Juice WRLD “Lucid Dreams” starts singing. Closing my eyes, I start to sing with it. Slowly becoming less and less tense.

A knock pounds on my front door, and I freeze. Do I hide? Ask who is there?

“Addie it’s me.” Zane’s voice is strained like he’s hurt. My feet are already moving before I decided it’s safe to. I unlock the new bolts the club put on, more than enough to keep someone out.

Opening the door, Zane has one hand desperately pressed against the frame, his shoulders rising and falling like he’s been running. He’s out of breath and sweating. He looks sickly almost.

“Zane?” I murmur. My hand reaches out to touch him, but I rethink it and pull it back. His head slowly rises, and bright green eyes hypnotize me. The light from the porch casting just enough illumination for me to see the blood all over his clothes.

Gasping from the sight before me, I cover my mouth with my own blood-stained hands.

“What happened?” I ask behind my fingers.

“I need you. I need—” he stutters. My brows furrow, my hand reaching out for him once again.

“Zane you’re scaring me.” I’ve never seen him unraveling like this before. Sweat drips from his forehead onto his eyelashes, his lips swollen and parted.

“Just… I need you, Addie. I can’t think I just need…” His words come out in spurts, his breathing labored. The desperation in his voice tearing me apart.

“What about the club?” my voice a near whisper.

He shakes his head. “Just you,” he breathes.

Grabbing his shoulders, I pull him inside and before I know what I’ve done, he has me against the wall, his hard body in between my legs. Zane kicks the front door shut so hard pictures fall from the wall and crash amongst the floor.

His lips hover over mine, and my heart beats at the pace of a coke addict. I want to ask him what this means, but the hungry look in his eyes has me pressing my lips against his. I know what this means, we are finally giving in to what our bodies have been fighting for years.

His hands caress my curves claiming every inch of skin I have to offer, growling into my mouth as he kisses my breath away. Wrapping his hands around me like a security blanket, he pulls us away from the wall and turns us. Lowering us to the fur rug laying on the floor in front of the couch. Now on our knees, I tug at his leather cut, and he pulls my jacket down my arms in a quick manner. His lips caressing the crook of my neck, his hot breath making me sweat. Closing my eyes, I breathe him in through my parted lips. Damn, he feels good. My body trembles with desire, my nipples budding from temptation. My clit throbs with longing, wanting him to touch me so badly.

With frantic fingers, I unbutton his jeans, fisting my dress, he rips it, frays of string and cotton shredding all around us onto the carpet.

“Yes, give it to me!” Zane growls before nipping at the swell of my breast in my pink silk cup. The sting biting all the way to my pussy and making me as wet as a lake.

Hands wrap around his neck, a moan wracking my body as he lays me down on the floor.

My feet press against the hem of his jeans, pushing them down his legs. He then kicks his boots off and shimmies them all the way off his body.

My hands pull at his T-shirt, his eyes roaming my body as he fully unclothes me of my rags.

Dipping his head, kisses tickle down my stomach, and my fingers run through his hair. Licking my lips, I pant, I want him so bad. Years of eyeing him, wanting him, all unleashing tonight.

Pushing my knees apart, I see his length for the very first time. My nostrils flare as I stare at the hardness before me. It’s veiny, and arches just the slightest at the tip. He pumps himself with one strong hand, his eyes watching my reaction. If I wasn’t so desperately horny, I could watch him thrust himself into his palm until he came.

“This what you want?” he breathes huskily. I nod, opening my legs wider.

Sliding my hands down my breast, over my navel and into each side of my panties, I slowly, very slowly pull them down to reveal my pink, wet pussy.

“This what you want?” My voice is just as lustful.

The heat of his eyes on my wetness has me practically coming on the spot.

“Fuck, I was right. I don’t deserve you, Sunny.”

“Fuck me, Zane.” My statement comes out in a rush of hot air and desperation.

A slight smirk fits his face, and he presses the tip in between my swollen lips. Just as I’m expecting the fullness of his cock to take over, he stalls, and my eyes snap open.

“You’re not a virgin, are you?” Creases wrinkle his forehead with worry.

“No,” I whisper, and his face pains. He wished he was my first. Well, I wish I was his first too, but life had us go through a few bad apples before granting us the forbidden fruit.

“But, it’s my first time with someone I care about,” I explain, reaching up touching his face.

My statement seems to ease the hard look on his face some, but I can tell he expected me to wait for him all these years. What can I say, I moved to Texas with a broken heart, and mending it with only a bottle of Jack, I ended up in the bathroom with a cowboy. He was good-looking, but the sex was sloppy. In my head, all I thought about was Zane. I cried for Zane a lot. I hated myself for not being able to move on.

Shoving his cock inside of me vindictively, my back arches as he pushes into me. I’m stretched deliciously and filled to the brink. I’m so wet it doesn’t even hurt. Thrusting inside of me, I clench my eyes shut and curl my toes into the floor. He withdraws to the tip before driving back into me. The most intense feeling I have ever experienced rushes through my body like a hive of bees. My nails dig into his back, and I moan louder than I ever have as my body arches for more.

“Whoever it was, never existed. Only we exist. Only I exist!” He pounds his demand into me, and I nod in agreement. It’s always been him. When will he see that?

His ass clenches, his knees moving the rug back and forth as he slides his cock in and out of me. Pleasure dancing inside of me too much to contain, I slap my palms against each hard ass cheek and take charge of the pace. I want more, and I want it now. The heels of my feet on his lower back, I drive him against my clit harder and harder.

“Goddamn, girl.” He groans into the crook of my neck before nipping my collarbone.

I don’t respond, my mouth is too dry from panting, and my heart feels like it’s going to explode as I’m about to release years of want onto the man of my dreams… or nightmares.

He pounds his fist into the floor and rolls us so I am on top of him now. My breasts fall from my bra, and Zane grabs each one for friction as I ride him. My knees burn from the rug, but I don’t stop, the tingles inside of me numb feeling any pain. My nails in Zane’s chest, he closes his eyes, his body becoming rock hard as I pump up and down onto him. He’s coming, and with the little warmth that fills me, it’s enough to throw me off the cliff of ecstasy along with him. Free falling into the unknown, I take it willfully. My eyes clench shut, my nails drawing blood, I moan and rock myself back and forth until I milk Zane of everything he’s owed me.

Huffing, sweaty, and unable to move a limb, I fall over onto the rug next to Zane. We don’t say anything as we stare up at the ceiling.

Moments pass, and as I come back down to earth, I notice Zane is more like himself now. When he showed up, he was distraught and out of control. He couldn’t even speak to me.

“Something happened tonight, Zane, you were… you were upset when you showed up.” My brows furrow and a chill races over my naked body. Covering myself with my hands, I risk a glance in his direction.

He licks his lips, wrinkles forming around his hard shamrock eyes.

“I’m different, Addie.”

I sigh. “I wish you would stop saying that.” He’s said this same line to me since we were kids. The excuse is making me angry.

“I am, I—”

“Stop with that excuse, Zane!” The words fall from my mouth before I can catch them.

“I like killing!” His face turns red, and my mouth zips shut. Our childhood strings to mind and everything starts to fall into place. How he was quiet, but violence made him speak up. How he would get angry and disappear only to come back more happy than he had been in days. “It’s the only thing that calms me and drowns the voices in my head to the point I can think clearly. I only enjoy it because it’s the only way I live, but tonight when I took Thad out… it didn’t work, Addie. I was so fucking mad, I wanted to hurt everyone that was around me. I was losing control of the little bit of myself that I had learned to tame over the years.” He slides his index finger over the scar on my arm, the one the bullet grazed the day of the shooting.

Tears fill my eyes thinking about how he has to hurt others just to feel an ounce of normalcy.

“Until tonight,” he whispers. He turns his head my way, and a lone tear falls down my cheek.

“I need you. You pushed the voices in my head to the side. It was just you and me tonight.” Our eyes lock, our souls and bodies bare of any secrets. “I think maybe, I just needed you this whole time.”

Holy shit, now that I think about it, the day of the shooting was the day Zane really started acting weird. Things between us were different, and he thought it was due to the man he shot, but in reality, it was the day God tried to give me to him. I am his salvation.

I hiccup, the thought that I am his answer. A savor is a lot of pressure. My heart is the remedy to the murderer, the man with a broken soul. Can I take on that responsibility?

“Say something,” he coaxes. What can I say? Do I agree to lay in his bed with him when the moment his demons rattle his cage?

Clearing my throat, I sit up on one elbow and look Zane in the eyes.

“Would you ever hurt me?”

“No,” he replies instantly.

“Our family?”

“No.” Again, it’s a no-brainer.

“Will you stop, doing, hurting other people if I want to be with you?”

Silence falls between us, and I begin to panic. If he says no, I don’t think it’s something we will be able to recover from.

“If I get you, I’ll do anything.” He turns his head, his face more serious than ever. Reaching for me, he seals the deal with a long passionate kiss. In this moment, I accept the darkness and broken soul of Zane. Rolling us, he’s on top of me and pressing between my legs. His lips kissing me, and hands claiming my blushed skin. He makes love to me on the floor of my apartment like I’m the last woman on earth. As if it were our last night on earth.

It was a night I’ll never forget.

---

Waking up next to Zane in my bed has got to be the most amazing thing a woman can experience. He’s so quiet and peaceful looking. His chest bare and rising and falling slowly with each passing breath.

Using my index finger, I lazily swirl circles along his tight pecs. It’s not lost on me the evil things he did for me last night. Thad is gone from my life, and I have Zane to thank for that. My brows furrow wondering how bad it got after I left. I’ve never seen Zane at his worst, but something tells me it would terrify me.

“Addie?” the sound of Bobby’s voice hollers from down the hall. Holy shit.

Jumping out of bed, I grab the silk robe hanging on the back of my door and slip into the hallway.

“Yes?” I snap.

Turning where he stands, he faces me with a pale face. His blue eyes sharp, and angry.

“He’s here, isn’t he?”

My eyes bulge. I admit, I’m nervous for Zane, but then again knowing what I know about Zane, I’d say I should worry more about Bobby.

Not waiting for me to answer him, he pushes past me and throws my bedroom door open.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Bobby grabs Zane by the arm and throws him out of my bed.

Within seconds, Zane is back up throwing a fist at Bobby.

“Oh my God!” Clasping my face with both hands I watch, it’s all I can do. “You two stop!”

Bobby punches Zane in the eye, and Zane jumps on Bobby putting him in a headlock. Both of them falling into my dresser.

“You got any milk?”

Yelping, I turn and find Shadow mulling the contents of my fridge over. His dark hair spiked up, and his biceps showing from his cut off T-shirt. Milk? He’s worried about milk right now?

“Aren’t you going to do something?” I wave at the two kids wrestling in my room.

Shadow glances in the general direction of the chaos and slams my fridge shut.

“What the fuck did you two think was going to happen?” he snides in passing.

I scoff, purse my lips and look back at Zane now under Bobby getting punched.

Shadow grabs Bobby by the cut and pulls him off Zane.

“That’s enough!” he barks. Zane jumps up and delivers an uppercut to Bobby’s jaw the last second. The sound of skin and bone making me wince.

“I said enough!” Shadow screams in Zane’s face.

All three men stand in place staring at each other, their shoulders rising and falling. Zane’s eyebrow is bleeding, and Bobby’s lip is split. It’s a shit show.

Bobby glares in my direction, his eyes hooded with anger.

“Get your ass to the club. Now!” he demands, his grave tone has me nodding and not saying another word. I’m afraid if I do it will set either Zane or Bobby off for a match two. I already feel bad as it is that two men in my life are beating the crap out of each other over me.

Shadow slaps Zane upside the head. “You, with me now!” Shadow grasps Zane by the back of the neck and escorts him out of my room… in his underwear.

This is ridiculous, why can’t we be together, why is it such a big deal?

Because it’s too weird for our parents?

Well, it’s about to get a lot more uncomfortable for them.