“IT’S LIKE A MUSEUM IN here,” I said, snuggled up against Jake’s naked chest, as I stared up at the ceiling that was still covered in the same band posters I remembered from years gone by.
“I know,” he replied. “Down to the books on my desk. I don’t know whether to be sad or a little creeped out by it all.”
“Sad,” I said. “Your dad missed you. I know he did.”
I felt him stiffen. It was his automatic response anytime someone tried to humanize his father, a man Jake only saw as the villain of the story. Nothing more, nothing less.
Terri’s words came back to me just then.
“Until he figures out a way to fix himself, ain’t no one gonna be enough. Not even you.”
I swallowed audibly. Deep down, I knew she was right. I’d known it the moment he kissed me on that staircase, desperate and hungry, when he carried me upstairs after squeezing every last orgasm I had right there, on the steps, against all his family pictures.
I knew he was damaged.
I knew I’d get hurt.
But I didn’t care.
He was Jake, and I was Molly. No matter what, this was where we’d always end up—back in each other’s arms, destroying each other from the inside out.
“What are we doing, Jake?” I asked, turning slightly so that I could see his face.
He did the same, and when our eyes met, I felt it.
That same flutter in my stomach whenever his gaze settled on mine. It had been this way as far back as I could remember. In kindergarten when we’d been paired together for spelling partners and, later, in junior high whenever I’d caught him staring at me in gym.
It had always been him—this tall, dark-haired boy with the megawatt smile and heart of gold.
“I don’t know,” he answered honestly. “But I don’t want to stop.” His arms tightened around me, pulling me closer.
“But you’re still leaving. How can this end well? This is exactly what we were trying to avoid.”
He let out a long sigh, shifting his position. “Look,” he said, rubbing his hand over his chin and stubble, “if you’d asked me a day ago—hell, even a couple of hours ago—what my plan was, I would have told you it was exactly the same—to get the hell out of here. But now? Shit, I don’t know, Mols. What you did tonight, helping me like that? No one could have done that but you. You are it for me.”
My heart beat wildly in my chest.
“I’ve tried to deny it for a long time, and I’ve been running forever. Do I like the idea of living here for the rest of my life? Not really. But, even more, I don’t like the idea of living without you for another day.”
“You’re staying?” I said, amazed and completely stunned.
He shrugged. “I survived on this island for eighteen years. I guess I can manage a little longer…that is, until I can talk you into something else.”
I laughed. “Good luck with that.”
He leaned in, a devilish smirk splitting his handsome face. “I’m very convincing.”
“Oh, yeah?”
The taste of his lips was addictive, so much more than any substance on earth. Now that I’d been reunited with his mouth, the feel of his body against mine, the thrust of his hips, I wasn’t sure I’d survive without him.
And I didn’t want to.
“Let me show how convincing I can be,” he purred in my ear, making my belly flutter once more.
When he made love to me this time, it was slow with expert care and attention. He took his time, worshipping my body like I was the most precious person on the planet.
“Come for me,” he demanded, his hips rocking in a hypnotic rhythm, my body so lost to him, to blindly bending to his will I would give up anything for these moments with him.
My back arched as I cried out, so caught up in my release that I didn’t care who heard it.
“I don’t think I can move,” I murmured several minutes later, every muscle so limp from exhaustion.
“If you can still talk, we’re not done yet,” he said, slowly spreading my legs for another round.
This time, he took me fast and hard until I was crying out his name over and over, begging for mercy I didn’t really want.
“You’re insane,” I finally said, feeling wonderfully sore in all the right places.
“I’m making up for lost time,” he replied. “Besides, you’re still talking. It seems I haven’t done my job properly yet.”
“Oh my God, you’re going to kill—” I managed to say before he was inside me once again.
“Oh, shit!” I shouted the moment my eyes cracked open the next morning. I sat up, my body aching everywhere from the combination of marathon sex with Jake and the two of us crammed on his tiny twin bed. “What time is it?” I asked, jumping out of bed in search of my clothes.
Jake did the same but forgoing clothes and instead looking for his iPhone. “Crap, it’s almost eight.”
“Eight?” I screeched. “In the morning?”
“Well, it isn’t eight at night,” he said, tossing the phone on the bed and dashing around me to grab his clothes.
“Do you think Betty will notice the fact that I’m coming in, wearing the same clothes?” he asked, taking one glance at his childhood closet that was still filled with clothes.
“Probably, but if that old nurse hasn’t said anything about the fact that you’re sleeping there, I doubt she’ll say anything about the pasta sauce on your shirt. Besides, don’t you wear a lab coat or something?”
“Not usually. Makes people feel uncomfortable. Wonder if my old Green Day shirt is still in here.”
I snorted, pulling on my shorts and bra. “I guess that’s one way to make a statement.”
“Hey,” he said after pulling his shirt over his head. “Are you going to be okay? I know this is kind of your shining moment during the day.”
I gulped. “Yeah, I don’t know. I mean, I didn’t exactly prep last night like I normally do, and, well, I’m running about two hours behind schedule.”
“Do you need help?” he asked, his face full of warmth and compassion.
“That’s sweet,” I said, reaching out to place a tender hand on his chin. “But I’m not letting you anywhere near my kitchen after that tomato massacre last night.”
He rolled his eyes, making me laugh. “Give me a scalpel, and let me redeem myself.”
“You want to cut tomatoes with a scalpel? That’s just weird.”
“Weird and hot?” He smiled as we each pulled on our shoes.
We headed downstairs. The kitchen was still a mess, and there were several pictures knocked off walls on the staircase.
I ignored the last question, suddenly feeling awkward as I stood near the front door. I tucked a strand of hair behind my ear, unsure of what to say now.
He smiled, grabbing my hand and pulling it to his chest. “I’ll stop by after I’m done at the clinic, okay? You’re not getting rid of me that easily.”
I could feel the tightening around my heart lessen. “Okay.”
“Although I might be a little late. I think I have a bit of cleaning to do here before I get there,” he said, taking a look behind me, toward the kitchen.
My cheeks flared with heat.
“Let me walk you to your car.”
I quickly nodded, and we did just that. The crunch of the gravel was loud against the quiet calm of the early morning.
He kissed me good-bye before I turned and hopped into my small car. I watched him do the same, driving away in the opposite direction as I headed for the bay.
Suddenly, the happy glow of the evening washed away and was replaced with panic.
Complete and utter panic.
I had a houseful of guests and nothing to serve them. Tears were beginning to pour down my face as I tried to work out any possible game plan.
Cereal? No. Besides, I didn’t have any.
Eggs and toast? Maybe. Although they would be expecting more.
Did I have anything in the freezer?
Oh God, what had I done?
What had I been thinking?
I hadn’t. That was the problem.
By the time I pulled into my driveway, I’d convinced myself that Jake and I together was the dumbest idea on the planet. In fact, me being with anyone was just plain stupid. I didn’t have time for a life. This inn was all I could focus on. It was my life.
The only thing that mattered.
Walking in the back door, I rushed into the kitchen, only to find the house filled with laughter and the smell of freshly baked pastries and bacon.
What the hell?
There, in the middle of everything, I found my parents manning the morning rush, chatting up guests and serving cups of coffee.
My dad waved happily in my direction.
“Hi, honey!” my mom said cheerfully.
I stood there, stunned.
I couldn’t decide if I was relieved or pissed. Happy or embarrassed.
My mom obviously saw the conflict in my face. Setting the coffee pot on the counter, she came to my side, placing a warm arm around me, and guided me into the living room.
“How did you—I mean, what is this?”
She sat me down on the sofa, sitting in the seat next to me.
“Terri called us last night, said you had come to visit her and ended up having dinner with Jake.”
My face heated up once more.
“Oh, honey, don’t get embarrassed. You’re a thirty-year-old woman. I don’t expect you to be a nun. And, honestly, what did you expect when that boy showed back up in town?”
“So, you’re covering me because you figured I’d be out late on a booty call?”
Her head shook back and forth as she made a sour face. “I don’t like that phrase. You and I both know this was bound to happen. Why do you think Dean stepped aside? This is just you listening to your heart, like I told you to do.”
I sat back on the sofa, feeling emotional and tired. “Is it? Because, right now, I feel like a total failure.”
Her hand touched mine. “You’re not a failure, sweetheart. You’re just in love. Just let it happen. You two have been running for so long. It breaks my heart.”
“What if we still are?” I asked.
“Then, make sure it’s at least in the same direction,” she replied, patting my knee the way only a mother could.
I watched as she reached up behind her neck, pulling a silver chain from under her blouse.
“What’s that?” I asked, not recognizing the dainty necklace.
She undid the clasp and held it out in her hand. There, encased in silver, I saw a tiny charm, black and white. I immediately recognized it.
Yin and yang.
“I picked this up years ago, before you and Millie were born. Before your father and I took over the inn from Nanny and Pop Pop. At the time, it was just a cute little trinket your father thought looked nice on me and wasn’t worth much. Still isn’t. But I held on to it. Over the years, I’ve found myself going back to it when I need a little breather. I’m sure you know the meaning behind this symbol.”
“Balance?” I guessed, looking down at the way the white side held a small circle of black the same way the black side held a tiny ring of white.
“Right.” She nodded. “You don’t see it now because this place is your entire life, but someday, maybe someday soon, you’re going to need to find a way to have balance. Maybe that starts with Jake. Maybe it’s learning you don’t have to do everything yourself, and it’s okay to ask for help.”
She gave me a hard stare, making me laugh.
“Today isn’t a failure, Molly. It’s just a lesson in balance. Know when you need help because we’re here for you. It’s okay to have a life outside of this house. In fact, it’s encouraged. We did. Your grandparents certainly did. It’s what makes this place a home rather than just a business. It needs warmth, and only you can give it that.”
I nodded as she placed the necklace in my hand, closing my fingers over the cold metal, leaving me alone with my thoughts. I understood where she was going. I really did.
But what would happen when Jake got bored of the slow-paced life of Ocracoke and wanted to go back to Chicago?
How would balance fit into that equation?
Jake and I loved each other. That much was certain.
But had our second chance already passed us by?
If he wouldn’t stay and I wouldn’t go, where did that leave us?
Back at ground zero, ready to implode.
Thankfully, the rest of the day went along without incident. Guests checked in and out, happy and content, while I ran around, doing my usual chores after shooing Mom and Dad back into retirement.
Although I’d been highly embarrassed, especially at the idea of my parents knowing where I’d been all night, I did appreciate their help.
I’d have been ruined without their intervention, and my mom did have a point.
If Jake was going to be in my life, I did need to work on finding balance.
And a way to keep him here.
Like he’d said, he’d grown up here, lived in this gorgeous little town for eighteen years. Surely, he could learn to love it again.
He loved me after all.
Didn’t he?
These thoughts had been racing through my mind all afternoon. After Terri’s warning last night, I was terrified over the possibility of watching him leave again, so now, I was determined to make him stay.
But how?
Take him on a picturesque tour of the island like some visitor from out of town?
Rattle off stories about pirates and long-ago settlers?
He knew all of that.
Flopping down on the sofa in the living room after making the beds for the day, I was out of answers. For now, I’d just have to take a leap of faith.
Jake was back in my life. Everything else was just details.
Around mid-afternoon, after giving directions to the lighthouse to an adorable couple visiting from Maine, my phone buzzed in my pocket. Watching them walk out the door, hand in hand, I pulled out my phone, instantly recognizing the number.
Jake and I had exchanged phone numbers when he first came to town and showed up at my door, drunk and alone. It had been part of the deal for him staying here in case I needed to kick him out to make room for a real guest.
Although I’d never had to use the number, I’d memorized it, staring at the foreign area code on the slip of paper with his familiar handwriting. It had somehow cemented in my mind the fact that he’d really been gone.
I hadn’t imagined it.
Pulling up the text message, I found myself smiling like a lovesick fool.
Jake: Not sure this will go through. Do Cokers have cell phones? Or Wi-Fi? Or are y’all still stuck in the Stone Age?
Shaking my head, I replied immediately, loving that he still remembered the slang term for a local here.
Molly: Of course we do. We’re not heathens. We had to modernize for all those pesky mainlanders and their selfie addictions.
Jake: Don’t knock the selfie. Everyone does it.
I laughed out loud, trying to picture Jake posing in front of his phone with his rugged good looks and piercing blue eyes. Ridiculous.
Although the idea of having said picture made my stomach flutter.
Molly: Nope. Not me. Too cliché.
Jake: Liar. Take one for me. Right now.
Molly: What? Why?
Jake: Let’s just say, I’ve forgotten what you look like.
Molly: I’m rolling my eyes right now.
Jake: Okay, you caught me. I need a picture for my spank bank.
Molly: JAKE!
Jake: Picture, Molly. Now. Make it a sexy one. I need something to get me through the rest of the day.
My face was in flames as I looked around the room. I felt embarrassed, excited, and erotic, all at the same time. I’d seen plenty of girls around town posing for such pictures. They’d play with their hair, make funny faces. Over and over, they’d go on like this in front of their phones until they took the perfect photo. I thought photos were about capturing a moment in time.
There was something about selfies that always felt so fake and contrived.
But sitting here, knowing Jake was waiting for a photo of me, I felt empowered and sexy.
Listening for any creaks or footsteps up above, I quickly turned my phone to photo mode, flipping the camera toward me.
I pushed around my hair, forming a deep part to one side. Tugging on my shirt, I made sure the angle of the camera caught just the right amount of cleavage. And, for the finishing touch, I angled my body and turned my head so that my collarbone and neck looked graceful and elegant.
Click.
I took several, slightly changing the angles as I went.
It turned out to be more fun than I’d anticipated. I had a newfound respect for the tourists and their selfies. Although it felt a bit phony, it was still a moment in time.
And it did make me feel beautiful.
Relaxing back into the sofa, I took a look at my photos, feeling like the Ansel Adams of selfies as I chose my favorite. Not bothering with editing, I sent it to Jake, feeling an equal mixture of nervousness and trepidation.
Less than a minute later, my phone buzzed.
Jake: If I didn’t have a million more patients to see today, I’d be over there so fast. Goddamn, you’re sexy.
I smiled, feeling like a giddy teenager again.
Molly: So, where’s mine? Tit for tat, remember? Also, shouldn’t you be working?
Jake: Did you say tit?
Molly: Jake! Focus! I want my picture!
Jake: Okay, okay. Give me a few minutes. Need to primp. Also, I am working. Multitasking.
I had no idea what a few minutes in Jake’s world meant, so I decided not to waste it, and I got up to take care of a few things around the house. I still had one reservation that hadn’t arrived, and I needed to add a few things to their room.
Taking the stairs up to the third floor, I unlocked the door to the suite and double-checked the bathroom to ensure it had an ample number of towels and toiletries. I made sure the bed was crisp and made properly, and because I knew the couple was celebrating an anniversary, I placed a single rose between the pillows on the bed.
Feeling accomplished, I headed back downstairs to the sound of the doorbell.
Just in time.
Putting my best hostess face on, I pulled the door open and greeted the happy couple. They’d flown into Virginia Beach from Oregon and already spent a week in the Outer Banks.
“This is our first time in Ocracoke,” the wife explained. “It’s so quaint. I feel as if we’ve stepped back in time.”
“Yes, we’re definitely remote,” I said. Remembering Jake’s flippant comment about Cokers living in the Stone Age, I said, “But don’t worry; we still have Wi-Fi and cell service.”
“Oh, good,” the husband said. “Wouldn’t want to be out of touch from work.”
I noticed a slight annoyance flash across the wife’s face, but it disappeared quickly. I’d learned to ignore these types of things, and I rolled right into my introduction. Walking them into the parlor, I showed them where they could find board games and the only TV in the house.
“I don’t think we’re going to be watching much TV,” the wife said, grabbing her husband’s hand.
He took one last longing look at the TV before we moved on.
“Breakfast is served family-style in the kitchen. I make everything from scratch daily. I also put out afternoon snacks and drinks if you happen to be around. Special arrangements can be made for dinner as well.”
“Wow. And you do it all by yourself?” the husband asked, his brow arching over his dark-rimmed glasses.
I nodded. “Just me,” I said. “Would you like to see the grounds before I take you upstairs?”
“Yes, that would be lovely.”
I turned toward the door just as my phone buzzed in my hand.
I’d completely forgotten I still had it.
Remembering why, I tried to discreetly take a look. I held the phone down low, my thumb on the round button to unlock it. Jake’s text came right up.
Oh, dear Lord.
He’d sent me a selfie all right.
A naked one.
My face instantly went beet red as I tried to remember how to work my fingers the right way.
How did I close this thing?
“Are we going outside?” the wife asked.
I realized just how long I’d been standing at the kitchen door.
“Yep!” I said a little too enthusiastically. “Just checking a reservation email that came in. Sorry. Sometimes, I have to multitask. My apologies.”
Lies. So many lies falling from my lips.
My hands shook. My mouth was filling with drool.
Good God, that man was hot.
Focus, Molly!
Close. Must close phone.
This was simple. There was a button for this. Upper right side. I just needed to slide my hand up and—
The phone clattered to the floor.
Face up.
We all looked down and saw Jake’s penis staring up at us.
The wife gasped.
The husband laughed.
I died.
The end.
Jake hadn’t stopped laughing since we sat down for dinner.
I’d been glowering at him ever since.
“It’s really not that funny,” I said.
“No, it really is. You’ll realize that once you have a drink or two.” He pushed the menu toward me, pointing at the red wine selection.
“How are you okay with this? It was your dick on display. You’re not the least bit embarrassed?”
He shook his head, leaning back in the seat, the full embodiment of relaxation.
“Nope,” he answered. “I’ve got nothing to be ashamed about. Pretty proud of that particular part of my body. Go ahead and roll your eyes.”
I did.
“So, how come you chose this restaurant? You didn’t seem to be a fan the other night when you dragged Millie and me out of here.” I asked, settling back in my chair as I enjoyed the scenic view.
It was a tad warmer today, as summer was getting closer. I could feel the humidity mounting making me both happy for the prospect of a full house of guests and not so happy over the three long months of never ending sweat.
“I have nothing against this restaurant,” he said. “I just have problems with you being here with other guys.”
Billy came and took our drink orders, giving us a friendly hello.
It had only been a handful of days since that night I epically failed at sabotaging my life. My sister had always been the crazy one. The one who danced on bar tops and slept with strangers. I’d always been more suited for the quieter life.
Maybe that was why I never left home.
“So, besides showing everyone my dick, how was your day?” Jake asked, a devilish grin plastered across his face. There were several days’ worth of stubble along his chin and jaw. He’d in fact found his long lost Green Day shirt and was proudly wearing it, reminding me of the boy I’d once known. The one who used to hold my hand between classes and kiss me good night.
“I did not show it to everyone!” I laughed. “And, thankfully, they were pretty gracious about it after I explained you were my boyfriend and it wasn’t some run-of-the-mill Internet porn. The husband waved it off, saying they’d done the same when they were dating. The wife nodded although she looked kind of sad.”
“Sad?” he asked.
“I think it had to do with the past tense he’d used. As in it was something they had done.”
Jake nodded. “But don’t anymore. That is sad. There should always be room for dick pics in a relationship.”
I laughed once again. “Do you ever take anything seriously?”
He smiled as Billy brought us our drinks. A pinot noir for me and a beer for him.
“Of course I do. I’m just in a good mood today. Can’t remember why though.” Leaning forward, he grabbed ahold of his beer and gave me a wink.
I couldn’t help but smile back. I liked this side of Jake. The levity. The casual happiness. The sexy texts. Everything had been so moody and emotional since he arrived, and it was like a whole new world, sitting across the table from him tonight.
No discussions about the future or what any of this meant.
Just him and me and a view to die for.
So, of course, it all had to come crashing down.
I immediately noticed when Jake tensed. His laid-back posture vanished as he sat upright in his seat. His eyes narrowed, glaring toward the entrance of the patio.
I turned my head and found the source.
Macon Green.
Didn’t that man know there were other restaurants to bother?
Dressed plainly tonight in jeans and a loose-fitting plaid shirt, he still carried all the swagger and dominance of his station.
Ever since we were kids, he’d wanted to make something of himself.
Something powerful.
He’d found it in the police force and continually abused his authority on locals and tourists equally. Surrounded by a few of his buddies, the group took a table close by, seeing Jake and me from across the deck.
Please don’t come over, I chanted silently to myself.
I looked up at Jake, who was deadlocked in some sort of testosterone-fueled eye war with Macon.
Great.
They’d never been the best of friends in high school, but they had always managed to stay away from each other. Mostly due to my urging. Jake had had so much going for him. I hadn’t wanted to see him throw it all away over a petty fight with the town bully.
The same could be said now.
My focus shifted from Jake to Macon. A sly Cheshire cat grin spread across his face as he saw me staring. He rose from the table and sauntered our way.
My heart beat wildly. I wasn’t sure why.
Surely, we were all adults now.
This mini feud between them had to be done and over. Right?
“Evening,” he greeted, tipping an imaginary hat on his head.
I said a polite, “Hello,” back, noticing Jake did nothing of the sort.
He just stared at Macon, his body still tense like a live wire.
“I realized I hadn’t gotten the opportunity to welcome the new doctor in town, but then I see you’ve already done that,” he said, his head sweeping across the table from Jake to me.
I swallowed audibly, knowing exactly what he was alluding to.
“So nice of you to offer yourself up as the official welcoming committee, Molly. Can we count on you for every new resident or just the single ones?”
The high-pitched sound of Jake’s chair sliding against the concrete echoed across the patio. His eyes were wild as he rose from his chair. My hand reached across the table for his. The moment our fingers touched, his eyes met mine. I could see the rage and utter need for vengeance. All those years of pent-up hostility for this asshole had finally come to a head.
But he couldn’t.
Not now, not while Macon was in a position of power.
He’d send Jake to jail without a second thought, and within an instant, everything he’d worked for could all be gone.
My pride wasn’t worth all that.
Squeezing his hand, I steadied him, forcing him back down in his seat. I could see the overjoyed look of triumph on Macon’s stupid face, knowing he’d won yet another round in this age-old rivalry between them.
One I still didn’t understand.
“Be sure you say hi to Dean for me, will you?” Macon said in my direction, making sure he got one last jab in before he left.
I saw the pain in Jake’s face.
The anguish he still felt over Dean’s injuries.
“Will do,” I replied. “I’ll also be sure to say hi to your wife when I visit her next month. Ex-wife, sorry. When is she getting back from her honeymoon?”
His face blanched, the confidence deflating out of him like a runaway balloon. Funny how much it stung to have the same shit slung back in your face.
“I’m sure she and the sheriff are having a wonderful time in Mexico.”
After that comment, he scurried off like the cockroach he was. I wasn’t sure I felt good about myself, usually taking the high road rather than stooping to his level.
But, this time, he’d gone too far.
When I turned back to Jake, his eyes were filled with a sort of reverence.
“That was brilliant,” he said.
I just shrugged. “Sometimes, a bully needs to be reminded of what it feels like to be bullied.”
“It won’t stop him.”
“No,” I agreed. “But it kept you from making a bad decision.”
He didn’t say anything, but I could see the thanks in his expression as his thumb rolled over mine. After a quick glance in Macon’s direction, Jake turned back to me.
“Want to get out of here?” he asked, throwing a couple bills down on the table for our drinks.
Grinning, I nodded. “I thought you’d never ask.”