There is nothing worse than being woken up to the sound of a crying child. A sound so irritating that you wish you could grab one of those heavy duty headphones to block the noise, similar to those used on an airport runway.

Comparing a crying baby to a plane should tell you how much I dislike children. Okay, maybe dislike is too strong of a word to use given that it is my niece screaming down the house. Annoying; that seems more fitting.

But who would have thought that there is something more annoying than the sound of a crying baby at five in the morning?

There is—the constant movement of your bed from two kids jumping up and down relentlessly.

“Uncle Noah, wake up!”

I let out a frustrated moan, turning my back towards them as the mattress moves underneath me. For fucks sake, the girls had a trampoline outside. A massive one, at that. To think of how many times I annoyed my mom in the same way when I was a kid. Karma is really late on delivering. She’s found me, stuck with me—and of course I’m a sexist, assuming karma is a she.

Pulling the covers over my head to block out the noise, my niece Amelia pulls it back off immediately.

“You’re going to be late to work. Daddy says that people that are late to work slow your business down and therefore create less productivity.”

For a five-year old, this kid has way too many brains. Though Daddy did have a point, probably why he ran one of the top empires in the United States.

“Girls, as much as I love your morning wake-up calls, how about you give me five more minutes?” I offer nicely.

“That’s what you said yesterday, Uncle Noah,” Ava, my four-year-old niece, reminds me, placing her hands on her hips.

Argh! How can I resist their cute faces? It doesn’t help that I’m massively hungover from a club I hit last night with Erika and Ivana. Yes, I fucked the both of them. Yes, I do believe my dick is also hungover. I think I’ve only gotten two hours sleep . . . if that.

“I promise, only five more minutes,” I beg kindly.

“Okay,” Ava says. “But I’m watching the cock!”

“Clock, Ava,” Amelia corrects her. “Cock is a rooster. Daddy always says to Mommy that she likes big roosters, remember?”

I snicker, realizing the girls are standing beside me, watching as I laugh with confused expressions on their faces. Amelia leans over, whispering into Ava’s ear, then pulls away as the both of them stare at me sternly.

“Five minutes, Uncle Noah. If you’re not out of bed, watch out,” Amelia warns me.

They both jump off the bed and run out of the room, finally leaving me alone. I throw my head back into the pillow, drowning out the persistent headache.

Today, of all days, is the first day at my new job. Lex, Charlie’s husband, owns a publishing house in downtown LA. I hadn’t worked in publishing, most of my career focusing on marketing, but he had an opening which seemed like a good opportunity.

I wasn’t exactly strapped for cash after selling my car back home and renting out my apartment till I decided if I would move here permanently. I’d managed to save some money over the years, even after our wild trips overseas. But even with the money I had saved, it was insignificant compared to Lex’s and Charlie’s wealth.

They were fucking millionaires, if not billionaires.

According to an article I read, Lex was one of the youngest self-made millionaires in the United States. Only yesterday, Charlie had taken me on a tour through the property. Acres of land with luscious gardens and a massive garage holding all their babies. My jaw had literally dropped to the ground when I saw the cars sitting in there. One of which, Charlie had offered to let me drive during my stay.

I felt on top of the world. Life just kept getting better and better.

“Uncle Noah!” My name is yelled through the house, and before they get to me, I pull myself out of bed and make my way towards the kitchen, still dressed in my sweats and tee.

The aroma of pancakes lingers in the air, drawing my attention as I enter the kitchen. Charlie is standing by the stove, pouring batter onto the frying pan. Amelia and Ava are sitting at the table, tapping away at their iPads. My youngest niece, Addison, is sitting in her high chair, throwing cereal at the ground while Charlie cooks.

What a mess.

I kiss the top of Addison’s head, making a monkey sound while she laughs. In the last twenty-four hours, I had spent some time getting to know the girls, surprising even myself.

Charlie turns around, already dressed in a sharp black suit, and hands me a plate.

“Thanks, cuz.” I smile at her.

“So, first day at the office. Shouldn’t you be changed already?”

“It’s only seven o’clock. Relax, Mom.”

She rolls her eyes at me, moving around the stove before turning it off. She takes a seat across the table, handing a pancake to Addison.

“We didn’t finish our conversation last night about the dinner party.” She raises her mug towards her mouth, carefully blowing the steam away. “So Lex and I will be heading out that night. Are you sure you can handle all the girls?”

I brush it off like it’s nothing, trying to disguise the mild panic. “It’s only for one night, right? How hard could it be?”

Addison throws her cup across the table, smacking Ava in the face who, in turn, drops her iPad into her bowl of cereal. She begins to cry, and with Charlie telling Addison off for being naughty, the quiet kitchen suddenly becomes a zoo.

Shit. What have I gotten myself into?

“I’ll be fine,” I assure her, praying to god that their dinner is cancelled. Maybe I could convince Mom to visit for the weekend. Stop panicking already!

I change subjects to curb my growing anxiety.

“So tell me more about Haden Cooper and what should I expect from him as a boss.”

“Let’s see.” She clears her throat, and begins, “He is very passionate about publishing. To be honest, I don’t know much about the business side of Haden. We usually get together only for social gatherings. His wife Presley and I have playdates.”

“Publishing. It’s an interesting change of career for me.”

“Well, you’re in marketing. Marketing books can’t be that hard?”

“The fact that no one reads books anymore makes it difficult,” I point out.

“Trust me,” she says confidently, “your generation may be all about gadgets and shit, but books are still very much alive.”

“Yeah, for horny housewives.”

“That’s so sexist and so not true,” she exaggerates, shaking her head in disagreement.

“Really?” I humor her. “Tell me what book you’re currently reading on your Kindle.” I motion towards it, sitting on the countertop.

She narrows her brows, crossing her arms because she knows I’m right. She may be in her thirties, but she still has the same angry pout she had when she was ten years old.

“A book about a strong independent woman.”

“Uh huh, and what genre is that book in?”

“Erotic romance.” She coughs.

I laugh hysterically, continuing as Lex walks into the room and greets us. Like Charlie, he is dressed and ready for work, wearing a navy suit and collared white business shirt. Armani. I know my brand names.

Lex is tall—much taller than me. I’d say six-foot-two. If you didn’t know him, or were related to him like I am, you could definitely see why he comes across as intimidating. It has something to do with his eyes; they’re very green.

Back when I was a kid and Charlie was seventeen, there was a rumor going around town that she was having an affair with Lex. He was a couple of years older than her and, at the time, married. Mom mentioned it here and there, but I have selective hearing when it comes to gossip. Especially when it involves my cousin screwing a married man.

Lex places his laptop down on the table, along with his cell.

“What’s so funny?” he asks, grabbing some coffee and sitting across from us.

“Proving your wife wrong. That books are a dying breed and the only people who read are horny housewives.”

He laughs along with me, infuriating Charlie. “Funnily enough, women count for the majority of our books sales. Specifically, in the erotica genre.”

“Thanks for having my back.” Charlie gritted her teeth.

Lex’s smile remains fixed. “Hey, I’m not complaining. Kudos to the authors that write the smut that turns you on.”

I’m grateful that Lex and Charlie allow me to stay in their home. But the downside—they were awfully affectionate with each other. It’s quite sickening really. Thank god the guest bedroom is located on a different floor than theirs. I would hate to be next door. It explains why they have three kids.

“Okay, guys. Awkward. I’m going to shower and when I come back, I expect both of you to behave. Three kids is enough. Uncle Noah doesn’t need any more madness in his life,” I remind them.

I walk back towards my room and grab my clothes, hopping into the shower. After the shower, then shaving, I change into my crisp white shirt and charcoal gray pants. Charlie said the office wasn’t overly formal and suggested I keep the tie at home. I splash on some aftershave and make my way back to the kitchen, stopping just shy of the door. I hear an unfamiliar voice, a woman, and the accent is distinctively British. I stand behind the entrance and eavesdrop on the conversation.

“Charlie, I’m fine,” the unfamiliar voice says.

“Kate, you’re not fine. He is a douchebag. I can’t believe he just ended things between you via a text message. Grow some balls, will you?”

“He had balls, Charlie, nice big round ones,” Kate says, chuckling.

I scowl at the image of another man’s balls. Gross. Do woman really like big juicy balls? This is unheard of. I’ve never had a woman say, “Oh, let me touch your big balls.”

I would have normally raised this topic with Benny and Tom. The reminder that they’re not a part of my life anymore dampens my mood.

“Gross, Kate, now that image is going to be stuck in my head. Balls? Really?” Charlie complains. “Argh, let’s stop saying ‘balls.’ Jokes aside, I hate that he did this to you.”

There’s a pause, followed by silence in the room. “I hate it too, Charlie. But I’m not going to pine for him anymore. He’s made himself perfectly clear and so it’s time for me to move on. I can move on,” she says unconvincingly.

I promised myself no more. Stop looking for women itching for a rebound. It’s a sick disease that I can’t seem to shake. I can resist, be strong. Last night for example; that was just fun. Both women were looking for a good time. And just because Erika kept mentioning her ex, that didn’t mean anything, right?

Rebound. Rebound. Rebound. The voices scream as they slap my face repeatedly.

But this . . . I mean, the British accent is all types of sexy. It would be a waste to pass up this opportunity. All I need to do is see if her voice matches my imagination.

I enter the room, clearing my throat. The kids are gone, and so is Lex. Charlie looks up, her curious eyes watching me cautiously. Her friend Kate has already eye-fucked me, greeting me with a playful smile. She’s a gorgeous one—strawberry-blond hair with cute little freckles scattered over the bridge of her nose. If she’s wearing makeup, you wouldn’t know, her bright blue eyes shimmering as she waits for an introduction.

“Oh Kate, this is my cousin Noah. The one I told you about,” Charlie says carefully with a wary expression.

“The one you told her about. All good, I hope,” I tease, smirking back at Kate.

“All good,” she responds, while biting her bottom lip. “I’m Kate.”

She stands up quickly, almost knocking over the pot of coffee.

“Noah.” I shake her hand, holding on to it a bit longer.

She is going to be easy. See, it’s all in a woman’s mannerisms. The flirty smile and batting of eyelashes is easy to spot, but if you look closer, you’ll see the way a woman’s thighs clench together combined with the bites of the corner of her lip.

“So Noah, I hear you’ll be staying here a while,” Kate says cautiously, waiting for Charlie to interrupt. I must be missing something here—some stupid girl code.

“Hmm, as long as Charlie and Lex will have me. I’ll see how the new job goes.”

“Oh that’s right, you’ll be working for Haden.” She laughs while Charlie hides her snicker behind a cup of coffee.

“And that’s funny because . . .”

“He’s a jerk,” they say in unison.

“A jerk?”

“Yes, but since he’s settled down, his jerkiness is wearing off.” Kate laughs.

“We’re kidding,” Charlie says. “Listen, I have to go or I’ll be late for work. Do you need a ride?”

“I’ll take him,” Kate offers with a mischievous smile playing on her lips.

Too fucking easy.

“I don’t know if that’s a good idea.” Charlie makes dagger eyes at Kate as if to warn her. There may have been some kicking under the table as Kate’s expression becomes pained while mouthing, ‘What the fuck?’ and glaring back at Charlie.

“Sounds perfect.” I grin.

“Fine, whatever,” Charlie utters, grabbing her bag and tossing me a spare set of keys. “Lock up when you’re ready. I won’t be home till late but Lex will be here with the girls.”

She walks towards the back door and stops. “You.” She points directly at Kate. “I’ll speak to you later.”

The door closes shut, and finally, she leaves us alone.

“I don’t know what her problem is, it’s not like I bite,” I say half-jokingly.

“Oh really? That’s a shame,” Kate notes with dark amusement.

I cock my head to the side, hiding the smirk on my face. “So . . . that ride?”

“Yeah, that ride. I guess we need my car keys, right?” she grabs them off the table, and opens the back door.

I follow her lead, purposely watching her ass sway in a tight black skirt. Charlie will kill me. With her bare hands. Unless, of course, we keep it a secret.

So much for making promises.