The sun was well and truly up. Nestled into Nate’s side, with a blanket pulled over them, Suzie was getting hot. But it was too nice lying like this to move. She didn’t ever want to get up. Better to lie with him, the two of them twisted around each other, naked and happy forever.

She pulled the covers further up to shield her eyes from the sun. It was climbing far too quickly. What was its hurry?

“Stupid sun,” she muttered.

“Hmm?” Nate stirred sleepily. “You can’t be cold? I’m starting to overheat.” He drew her closer anyway, settling his hand into the curve of her waist.

“I’m not cold, I just don’t want our night together to be over. I’m like Juliet, insisting it’s still dark and the dawn isn’t here.” A seagull cawed and Suzie laughed, remembering the movie. “Listen, ’tis the lark, not the nightingale.”

“And thou art more beautiful than a summer’s day.” He moved so he could kiss her. “Hungry?”

Her stomach growled in response and he laughed.

“I’ll take that as a yes.”

“What’s for breakfast?” she asked, not moving off him. She didn’t want him to stop touching her, but now that he’d mentioned it, she was starving. And she could murder a coffee.

“Slim pickings,” he admitted. “The cereal’s gone, but I remember seeing a can of peaches in the cupboard. Oh, and there’s a can of spaghetti.” She wrinkled her nose and he laughed. “I have to admit, I’d rather have buttered toast and eggs.”

“I need to wash up.” She slipped out from under the covers, stood up and stretched, enjoying the feel of the sun and light breeze on her naked body. She ached in all the right places, and her whole being was infused with a glow of satisfaction.

“You’re beautiful.”

His admiring gaze was warmer than the tropical sun and it felt darn good. She’d always been Second Best Suzie, but with him she didn’t feel that way. By the way he looked at her, Nate didn’t think she was second best anything, and if a man like him could gaze at her like that, she had to be doing something right.

She stretched again, slowly and deliberately, enjoying the appreciation in his eyes. Maybe she’d always been tough on herself. Just because Laura was ultra smart and successful, didn’t make Suzie any less worthy. She could be successful in her own way, on her own terms. To hell with always felling like she wasn’t good enough.

“Forget breakfast. Come back to bed,” said Nate. He ran his hand down the sheet, pulling it tight over himself so she could see he was hard again.

She rounded her eyes in mock surprise. “You’re not spent yet? How many times did we make love last night? Surely you haven’t got a single sperm left in your body. I’d better call the Guinness Book of Records to tell them about your prowess.”

“It’s completely your fault.” He gave her his crooked, boyish smile, and her heart felt as light as air. “How could any man look at you and not get an instant erection? I’ll bet everywhere you go, there are embarrassed men trying to cover up the fact you’ve made them pitch a tent in their pants.”

She laughed. He made her feel so good. How could she have ever thought he was arrogant, or mean? It was obvious he was used to being in charge, but he was confident and assertive rather than bossy. And when he was sweet, or funny, it made her knees turn to mush.

“You know, I’m going to miss you.” She kept her tone light, after all, Nate had already confessed to a serious fear of commitment and she didn’t want to freak him out. But they were so good together, surely she wasn’t the only one who didn’t want this to end? “Perhaps we could keep seeing each other? I mean, after I’ve made the party a huge success and been showered with praise and money, and you’ve created the super-smart robots that’ll wipe out the human race. Maybe you could visit me in LA? Or I could come and test drive your new car, by not driving it at all.”

He rose onto one elbow, his expression suddenly serious. “Suzie, as much as I didn’t want a relationship, I don’t want to walk away. But if we’re going to turn this into something more than a holiday romance, we should talk it through.” There was no trace of laughter in his eyes now.

She could have sworn the sky was cloudless, but just then the day darkened. Suzie glanced up. There was a single grey cloud obscuring the sun. Where did that come from?

“If we keep seeing each other, it could get serious,” he went on. “And before that happens, I’d like to know more about your plans for the future. Where do you want to live? Could you move if you had to, or is there something keeping you tied to LA?”

She frowned. “My job, of course. And my dog, Rusty. He’s a black labrador. But we don’t have to worry about things like that right away. We can keep it casual to start with. And, you know. Visit.”

Nate shook his head. “If we’ll eventually want different things, it’s better to find out now.”

Wow. He’d got serious quickly. “You don’t believe in taking things slow?”

“It’s common sense to get everything in the open. Problems are bound to come up as we go along, but we should talk about the important things up front. For example, you should know that I never want to have kids.”

“What?” She blinked, wondering if he could be messing with her. “Where on earth did that come from? A minute ago we were talking about whether we were going to keep seeing each other, and now we’re at the having kids stage?”

“If never starting a family is a deal breaker for you, we can end this now. But if it gets any more serious it won’t be so easy.”

She wrapped her arms around her naked torso, feeling suddenly exposed. “Wait a minute. I’m a long way away from having a ‘do you want children’ conversation, let alone hearing you say that if things get serious, you’ll make that decision for me.”

She turned away so he couldn’t see the look on her face. Too much, too soon. Seriously, could he hear himself? Her clothes were piled on the deck where she’d dropped them last night. She grabbed her T-shirt and shorts and pulled them on.

“You’re angry,” he said.

She composed her expression before turning back to him. “No. I just can’t plan my entire life in advance. And frankly, it’s a little unfair of you to insist I do.”

He reached one hand to her. “Sit for a moment, and I’ll tell you why I want us to talk about these things now.”

She hesitated a moment. Then she lowered herself down, but she didn’t nestle into him like she would have done just minutes ago. Instead she sat cross-legged on the mattress, facing him. He took her hand anyway, and held it while he talked.

“After we moved to Florida, Harrison fell in love with a girl called Nancy. She fell pregnant when Harrison was twenty. Too young to get married, at least that’s what our father thought. But they did anyway, and they had the cutest little girl. My niece, Yasmina. She was smart as anything. As soon as she started talking, she was a complete chatterbox.”

Nate shook his head with a smile that was heartbreakingly sad. “The things she used to come out with. She was so…” Nate sighed, the words trailing away, and Suzie squeezed his hand. She dreaded what he would say next.

“Yasmina died when she was four, and everything fell apart. Especially Harrison. He lost his job and took up drinking. Made a career of that instead.”

Nate took a deep breath. “Harrison used booze to try and wipe the memory of her death. He almost managed to wipe his life out, too. I called him every day for the next few years, and each time I dialed his number I’d brace for news he’d succeeded in killing himself. Nancy stuck with him for a while, but I wasn’t surprised when she left. I tried everything I could think of to help. Councilors, rehab, tough love. Yasmina died six years ago, and Harrison’s finally cut back on the drinking, but he hasn’t gone back to work. Mostly he sleeps and watches TV. He’s thirty, and he looks like he’s fifty.”

“That’s awful.” Suzie swallowed, remembering the conversation she’d had with Harrison just a couple of days ago. While they’d been talking, she’d pictured the boy she’d had a crush on all those years ago. Back then she used to wait until he was working in the store before she went in to buy a piece of candy, using it as an excuse to flirt with him. What might he look like now, with lines of grief and misery etched into his face?

But she must be missing something. She rubbed the middle of her forehead, trying to understand. “I still don’t get why you’ve decided not to have children.”

He sucked in his breath. His lowered eyes made it obvious this was difficult for him to talk about. “Yasmina choked on a piece of apple. It got stuck in her windpipe, and they couldn’t get it out in time.” His thumb stroked the back of her hand. “If a piece of stupid fucking apple can kill a smart kid out of the blue, there’s no way to keep them safe, not a single thing you can do. How could anyone want to have kids when they could be gone like that, in an instant?”

Suzie bit her lip. “Are you saying that the reason you don’t want a family of your own is because you don’t want to get hurt again?”

He tilted his head and spoke slowly, as though trying to find the right words. “When it’s impossible to protect the people I care about, all I can do is manage my risk.”

She frowned. Nate sounded like an insurance assessor, calculating the odds of a disaster. “And it’s the same reason you’re asking what city I might one day want to live in if things work out?”

“I might not be able to stop bad things happening, but it makes sense to control as much as I can.”

Was he really working out the chance of them staying together, to decide if he even wanted to try?

“So what if I said I needed to stay in LA?”

He sighed. “Then we’d have to talk about whether we should keep seeing each other, when we’d be living in different cities.”

Working out their odds was exactly what he was doing. How messed up was that? And what if the scales swung against her? Would he cut her off to protect himself?

She stared into his eyes, challenging him to answer truthfully. “How do I know you won’t shut me out, for fear I’ll hurt you?”

“Will you?” He gazed back, unblinking, his tone as serious as though she could really answer his question.

“I have no idea,” she said honestly. Her heart broke when she thought of what he’d been through, but it was crazy to wall up your heart in case something bad happened.

But she didn’t want to get into an argument about it now. Not when his brown eyes were still clouded with memories of his niece. Suzie gave his hand one last squeeze, then eased from his grip. She stood up. “I’m going to wash. We can talk some more later, okay?”

“I’ve been completely honest with you, Suzie.”

“I get it.” She forced herself to sound normal. “Let’s talk about it over breakfast.”

The shower didn’t work with the power off, so Suzie pumped water into a bucket and grabbed a washcloth. She shut herself in the tiny bathroom and took her time, thinking through what Nate had told her. If he was afraid of opening his heart, would he always hold back from her? And what if they did keep seeing each other and she somehow managed to hurt him? Would he shut himself away and swear off her forever, the way he’d sworn off having kids?

Because they’d swum and the salt made her hair stiff and her scalp itchy, she washed her hair awkwardly in the bucket, then rinsed it as best she could.

Poor Harrison. She should go see him. Maybe she could help somehow. At least a visit might take his mind off things, for a little while at least. Would his smile still be as warm as she remembered? If it was anything like his brother’s, it’d be a killer smile no matter how old he got, or how bad his scars.

Thinking hard, Suzie toweled herself off. She was so deep in her thoughts, it took a while for her to register the rumbling noise she could hear. Did Nate manage to get the engine going after all?

Then she heard a male voice. Was Nate calling her? No, it sounded like he was talking to someone else.

She found her clothes and struggled into them as fast as she could, cursing over the stiff buttons on her shorts which took a bit of fumbling to fasten.

“Nate?” she called, climbing the stairs to the cockpit. “What’s going on?”

But as soon as she got on deck, she saw for herself. Nate was standing on the yacht’s stern, his back to her. He was looking at a boat a short distance away. The coastguard! Thank goodness. They could take her to Port Denarau. She’d get home with a couple of days to prep for Friday’s wedding.

Wait a minute. The coastguard boat wasn’t coming toward them, it was heading away. She scrambled over the deck and grabbed Nate’s arm. “What’s happening? Why are they leaving? Aren’t they going to tow us to shore?”

Nate was holding something that he hoisted to show her. “They’ve lent me a battery. As soon as I connect it, we’re good to go. I can run my test, then drop you off.”

Suzie stared at the coastguard boat, disappearing fast. “But I need to get to the airport. I have to get home.”

“That’s where we’re going.”

“But Nate, what if you connect the battery and the engine won’t start? What then? If I went with the coastguard I might be able to get on a flight today.”

He frowned and his puzzled look that made her want to scream. She’d told him how much Friday’s job meant to her. What was he thinking?

“But if you got on the coastguard boat, you’d have to leave right away,” he said. “They wouldn’t have waited for you.”

“So?”

An expression crossed his face that she didn’t like. It was guarded. As though he was taking a mental step backwards. “So I thought we were going to talk over breakfast.”

“Don’t you understand how important it is that I get home? You should have asked me, at least. We can always talk later.”

His tone was cold and clipped. “I assumed you’d want to discuss our future. I thought you were interested in seeing if we had one.”

Anger rose inside her like a hot wave. “How can we have a future when you don’t consider asking what I want?”

His mouth tightened. The more heated she got, the colder he seemed to be. She felt like he was building a fence around himself and shutting the gate in her face. “So you would have left like that, without another word.” He spoke matter-of-factly, and it was a statement rather than a question.

She remembered her doubts that he wouldn’t turn his back on her if she hurt him. He was doing exactly that. He couldn’t understand that he was the one who’d let her down, by assuming his dream was more important than hers. All he saw was that she was leaving. It didn’t even matter if she was in the right, when all he cared about was protecting himself.

Inside she was raging against his unfairness, but she forced her voice to sound calm. If only she could get through to him, and make him drop that fence he was so busy building, maybe they still had a chance. “We could have talked on the phone, or on Skype. We have lots of time to work things out and be together. But the wedding’s on Friday. If I miss this opportunity, I might not get another. Can’t you understand why I’m anxious to go?”

He hefted the battery, his mouth set in a stubborn line. “I told you I’d get us there. All I have to do is connect the battery and we’ll be on our way.”

Suzie’s heart contracted. It was no use. He couldn’t see how by not consulting her, he’d shown he didn’t respect her. She knew what it was like to have a guy steal from her, and this felt almost as bad.

Still, she’d bite her tongue and let him connect the thing. He obviously still felt that his test was more important than her job, and maybe he was right. Everyone else in the world would probably agree with him.

“It’s a simple job,” he said as he carried the battery down the cockpit stairs. “It’ll take me two minutes to connect it. Probably less.”

She watched the coastguard moving slowly away as she waited. They didn’t seem to be in much of a hurry. Surely they wouldn’t have minded dropping her off.

“There,” said Nate, wiping his hands on his shorts as he came back up into the cockpit. “Now the engine will start. You’ll be in Denarau in two hours.” He turned the key, then frowned.

There was dead silence. The only engine noise was a soft rumble from the coastguard’s boat as it motored away.

“Shit.” Nate ran his hand through his hair. “Okay, give me a minute. I need to—”

“A minute?” Suzie felt her chest tightening. “You’ve been trying to fix it for two days.”

“You need to give me a little more time.”

“Time is the one thing I can’t give you.” She clenched her fists, fighting the urge to scream. “Why can’t you understand that?”

“I understand it,” he snapped, waving his hand at the cockpit controls. “You’re the one who doesn’t get how any of this works.”

She froze as his words hit her. Her stomach turned over and for a moment she wanted to be sick. All this time he’d been treating her like an equal, when this was what he really thought of her. He was a genius. To him, she’d always be dumb.

“I’m sorry, Nate. I was wrong about us. I guess we don’t have a future after all.” The words felt like razors in her throat.

He said nothing for a long time. She stared toward the coastguard boat, too afraid to look at him. If she looked, she’d start bawling. Or beg him not to accept this was the end. If he’d fight for her instead of just protecting himself, then maybe they could work it out.

He made a noise that startled her. Was it an exclamation of anger, or pain? She turned to him, but now he was the one wheeling away. He started down the stairs into the saloon. “Once I get the engine started, the radio will come back on and I’ll call the coastguard back to get you. If you’re in that much of a hurry to leave.”

She watched him go. Every step he took ripped her insides apart. Tears were starting and her face was hot. She couldn’t let him see her like this. She had to get out of here before she fell apart.

The coastguard boat was still close enough that she could reach it in the tender, which was still tied to the yacht’s stern. She’d watched him start the outboard motor yesterday by pulling on the rope, so how hard could it be?

She scrambled into the tender, grabbed the motor’s starter cord, and yanked it out like she’d seen Nate do. It was stiffer than she’d expected and it came out in jerks. The engine didn’t so much as cough. She tugged the cord out again, making it smoother this time, and the engine caught with a roar.

She scrambled to untie the rope holding her to the boat, then went back to the motor. It was idling. Turning the handle revved it, but she wasn’t going forward. Stupid engine. She swiped angrily at her tears. There had to be a gear lever here somewhere. Was that it on the side?

“You couldn’t wait even a few minutes?”

Suzie jerked her head up. Nate stared down at her from the yacht, his expression hard. If only he’d show some sign that she meant enough to him to fight for. If he’d give her something to work with, maybe it didn’t have to be this way.

“What about your things?” His voice was harsh.

Crap, she’d forgotten her suitcase and purse. She was so worked up she would have motored off in just the clothes she was wearing without a cent to her name.

“I didn’t think about…” The words choked off, the lump in her throat getting in the way.

He turned and went below. She put her face in her hands as she slowly drifted away from the yacht. What was she doing? Running away wouldn’t soften the pain. She’d stay and talk it through with him, if only he was willing to drop his defenses.

“Here.” He climbed onto the transom with her suitcase and purse, and managed to throw them the short distance into the dinghy without losing either to the sea.

“Nate, I…” What good was it trying to talk when his mouth was set in a hard line? His eyes were the coldest she’d ever seen them.

“I’m sorry,” she managed.

“Goodbye, Suzie.” He turned and went below.

She stared at the empty deck for a moment, tears running down her cheeks, wishing he’d reappear. Every second she sat there, the coastguard boat got further away. But it couldn’t end like this, could it?