Nate sat at his breakfast bar with an untouched plate of cereal in front of him. His laptop was sitting open next to his breakfast, but instead of preparing for the meeting he was due at in less than an hour, he kept staring out the window at all the cars and pedestrians bustling below.

They looked tiny. So many people, so far away. But up here in his state-of-the-art penthouse apartment, he couldn’t hear a thing. In here was the kind of silence that seeped under his skin and into his bones. Last night it had been so bad that even putting on music or switching on a movie couldn’t keep it at bay. His temperature-controlled apartment had felt both icy cold, and achingly lonely.

Without her.

He could get on the phone and fill his apartment with friends, but talking to them would be an effort. Besides, he’d compare every conversation to the back and forth he’d shared with Suzie, missing her quick, cutting wit and the way she’d challenged him.

Why did it feel like only the sound of her laughter could fill this empty room?

He’d messed up big time letting her get under his guard. He had to be some kind of masochist allowing himself to get pummeled. If he hadn’t wanted to get knocked down, he shouldn’t have stepped in the ring. Only it was too late now. He was down for the count, and after yesterday’s phone call, he couldn’t kid himself he and Suzie could have some kind of long distance relationship, or that he could wean himself off her slowly. No, he’d have to go cold turkey and deal with the heartbreak.

If only the silence wasn’t driving him crazy.

Nate made an impatient sound, then picked up his cellphone and called Harrison. He got up and paced restlessly up and down his living room while it rang, the familiar tightness squeezing his stomach. It didn’t loosen off until his brother answered.

“Nate?”

“Hey, how are you?”

“I’m good, actually. A lot better.” Harrison laughed. “But I hear you’ve been a fool.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Suzie came to visit. It was great to see her and she’s gorgeous now, isn’t she? I like her hair dyed red. It suits her.”

Nate’s heart flipped over. “When did you see her?”

“Yesterday. She explained some things I hadn’t realized before. Now of course, it’s obvious. But I’ve been a little wrapped up in myself these last few years, and I didn’t see it.”

“See what?” Nate raked his hair with his free hand, resisting the urge to yell at his brother. What the hell was he talking about? Why couldn’t he just tell him what Suzie had said?

Harrison’s voice softened. “She told me you’ve decided never to have kids and that you’ve been doing a damn good job pushing her away.” He snorted. “Just because you’re a genius, doesn’t mean you can’t be a freakin’ idiot sometimes. I’m pretty sure she agrees with me on that.”

“You of all people should be able to understand why I don’t want to have kids. When Yasmina…” He trailed off, took a breath, and started again. “Just because I don’t want to go through anything like that again, doesn’t mean—”

“Listen to me, Nate.” His brother sounded more assertive than Nate had heard for years. In spite of the fact he’d sparked Harrison’s exasperation, he was glad to hear the strength in his voice. “I might have messed my life up, but if you let Suzie go, you’ll be screwing up worse than I did. Losing Yasmina was a horrible accident, and I was so out of my mind afterwards I drove Nancy away. I’ve regretted it every day since she left. But if you let Suzie go because you’re scared of getting hurt? Then you’re a dumbass. And a coward.”

“It was her choice to end things between us, not mine.”

“Do you blame her?” Harrison sighed. “Even after everything that’s happened, I’m still grateful to have had the time I did with my family. I know I’ve been a mess since Yasmina died, but I wouldn’t trade one second of what I had. And I’d do it all over again, even knowing we’d only have those few precious years together. Because all the pain I went through was worth it. Those were the best years of my life.”

Nate stared out of the window, at all the people going about their business. He found himself focusing on a woman with red hair and made himself look away. “Thanks for the pep talk, but it’s not necessary. I’m in love with Suzie whether I want to be or not. There’s nothing I can do about it because she’s got some crazy idea that either I’m too successful, or she’s not successful enough.”

“Then you have to tell her how wonderful she is until she believes it.”

“That simple, huh?” Nate shook his head. “But I’ve committed to a new business and I’m going to be tied up with it twenty-four-seven for the next few years.”

“Well, it’s up to you. But if you decide you want her, you can’t hold back. She deserves better than that.”

Harrison was right. Suzie deserved the best of everything. And if there were a way to make things work, she’d be entitled to the best of him. No ifs, buts, or conditions.

Could he do that?

He wasn’t a coward. But he wasn’t a masochist either. And his new business was important. He and Tristan were on the verge of something big and right now he didn’t need any distractions.

His jaw tightened. “I’ll think about it.” He checked his watch. “Anyway, I’m due at a meeting.”

“Yeah, I’ve got to go too,” Harrison said. He sounded more cheerful than Nate had heard for years. “Last night I finally started that novel I always wanted to write. I’ve almost finished the first chapter and I want to get back to it. So I’ll talk to you later, okay?”

He hung up without waiting for Nate to say goodbye, but that was a good thing because Nate’s mouth just opened and closed with no words coming out.

His hand must have opened because his phone dropped onto the coffee table with a clatter. Harrison was working on his book? Hell yeah! Nate punched the air. Had Suzie done this somehow? If she had, he was going to kiss her until she was dizzy, then take her out to his favorite…

He broke off the thought, Harrison’s words echoing in his mind. If he wanted to be with Suzie, then he had to commit to her a hundred percent. It would be a yes or no decision, either all in, or all out. Either he’d arrange things so they’d be together in the same city – no, in the same house – or he’d never call her or see her again.

And maybe the choice would end up being between Suzie and his new business.

The business he’d worked his ass off for three years to make happen. The one he was about to give up fifty-five million dollars for.

So what was it going to be? Was he in or out?