“I have to take off,” Josh says. “Early shift tomorrow at the coffee house. Hang again Friday?”

“Yes, absolutely.”

“Fun. Good luck with dance the next couple of days.”

“Thanks.”

He pecks me on the cheek, the door shuts, and Lance comes out of his room immediately.

“Finally. I thought your date would never end.”

“Shh,” I shush him, keeping my voice low. “He could be right outside the door listening.”

Lance shakes his head. “He’s not the eavesdropping type.”

“You’re right. So forthright. So respectful. So…you didn’t even let him cross into third base territory yet?”

“What’s third base? Orgasms?”

“Oh dear. Third base is oral sex. Second is hand stuff.”

Getting a La Croix from the fridge, I offer one to Lance. He takes one and we both sit.

“We’ve rounded first, I suppose,” I say.

“What a saint. According to the internet, all men are assholes and dump you if you don’t have sex after two dates,” Lance says. I chuckle. “You really need to get off Twitter. There are some good men out there. Josh is one of them.”

“If he’s so good then why haven’t you had sex with him?”

I shake my head vigorously. “No, no. Josh is…” I clear my throat. “Great. He’s perfect. And I greatly appreciate the fact that he’s willing to take it as slow as me. So we’re waiting a little bit before we jump into things. What about you, Mr. Newly Single?” It feels good to put the onus back on Lance, because I’m not comfortable with a deep dive into my feelings about Josh. “You haven’t brought anyone back yet.”

“I know. I’m in my ‘too sad to date still’ phase. I still love Joseph—but he doesn’t want to move here, so what are we going to do? It’s a deal breaker. I’ll get over it...I hope.”

“Not so easy, is it.”

“To get over an ex? C’mon. You can’t compare Carter and you to me. Joseph and I were together for like three years. You had a summer fling. So seriously, how long are you going to make Josh wait?”

I shrug. “I’m not sure. Soon. We haven’t even had the ‘talk’ yet.”

“The ‘Talk?’”

“About being exclusive.”

“Oh. Right. New York Dating Rules. You’re not exclusive until you have ‘the talk.’”

“Am I right? Or am I missing something?”

“You’re right.” He sighs. “You’re definitely right.”

Just then, our buzzer rings.

We glance at each other. The snow is coming down like a truly wintery December night.

“You order a pizza or something?” Lance asks.

I shake my head. “Nope. You didn’t?”

Lance walks over to our buzzer and presses the button.

“Hello, who’s there?”

The other end sounds just like static.

“Not working,” Lance says. “Weird.”

The buzzer sounds again, and he rolls his eyes. “I’ll walk down to the door and see who it is.”

“Maybe Amazon is delivering packages later in the night now?”

Chilling on the couch as Lance heads downstairs, I feel sleepy.

When I hear multiple sets of feet coming up the stairs, that sleepiness turns to curiosity.

Then, when I see the two tall men standing behind Lance’s surprised face, my heart hammers like it hasn’t in weeks.

“Carter, Joseph,” I eek out.

“Hi,” Joseph says.

Carter stares at me, not quite brooding, not quite smirking. I can’t place his expression, and maybe that’s part of what scares me.

“It’s been a while,” he says, his voice low and steady.

“I’m sorry,” Lance says. “I opened the door to see who it was, and they sneaked in. I told them…”

“I need to speak with Lacy. Alone,” Carter announces.

Fear bubbles up inside me.

I’ve seen Carter cocky and jokey, life as one big joke.

And right now he’s authoritative. Commanding. The only other place I remember him being like this is…

A shiver rolls across my skin as the first night on the yacht, this summer crosses my mind.

Follow me, Lacy.

No.

That wasn’t a fucking question, Lacy.

The night he took what he wanted, and I liked it.

Fuck this. No.

“Carter, I don’t know what you’re doing, or what good you think it going to come from forcing your way in here, but this is highly inappropriate and I suggest you leave,” I seethe, taking a few steps toward him.

He tongues the inside of his cheek, and nods almost imperceptibly, which has the effect of making my blood boil at an even higher temperature.

His expression softens, and he takes a deep breath. I stand with my hands on hips right in front of him.

“Hello, Carter? Did you hear what I said?”

He swallows, and I stare at the way his giant Adam’s apple moves.

I rub the temple of my head with my thumb and forefinger.

“I want to talk to you for a few minutes, and after that, if you never want to talk to me again, I’m fine with that. I’ll never try to contact you again.”

My heart knocks against my chest like a jackhammer.

I’ve wanted Carter out of my life and peripheral vision. So why is it so hard to say no one more time?

“Alright. Just…come on.”

I wave him to follow me, and head into my room.

I sweep Carter into the door, then call out to Lance before I shut it.

“Start the timer. Five minutes.”

Lance shoots me the ‘okay’ symbol with his hands. I feel a little bad that I’m making this all about me right now, but there will be time for he and Joseph and whatever they want to do.

“Carter, I don’t appreciate you coming here randomly like this to my apartment. Again.”

“I was in the area.”

“Oh?”

“Looking for my father in upstate New York.”

“Oh.”

“Turns out he hides in Central America for the winter.”

“Great. But what’s that got to do with me.”

“I want you to come with me to help find him.”

My jaw half-opens, but nothing comes out I’m in so much shock.

“No,” I say. “Not happening.”

“Okay. Let me back up for a minute. There’s something else I want to say to you.”

I raise my eyebrows. “Oh?”

“Yes.” He locks his eyes on me. “I’m sorry about everything. I’m sorry for the way I acted last summer, but mostly, I’m sorry for what I put you through. I never officially said that, and I need to.”

“You’re just saying that because you want me to go on this spur-of-the-moment trip with you,” I retort.

Carter shakes his head. “Actually, it’s got nothing to do with wanting you on this trip. I just needed you to hear my apology. For both of our sakes. If you don’t want to come with, I totally get it. Given how I’ve acted in the past, I might not want to come with me either, if I were you. If you’re totally focused on moving on, I understand.”

I let out a deep sigh. My shoulders sink, and do my best to re-up my resolve to move on.

“I appreciate you saying that. But It’s too late.”

“I thought you’d say that,” he says. “Do you want to hear why I’m asking you?”

“Not really,” I say. “But go ahead.”

“I need to head down to Costa Rica, and for one, I don’t speak Spanish.”

“I barely speak Spanish.”

“But you know more than me. That’s not the point, anyway. I can go alone. If it comes to that, I’ll go, but who else would I go with that actually knows me—who knows my life? If I do find my father, I’m going to want to process that with someone—and not just anyone.”

“Why don’t you have Chandler go?”

“Chandler can’t go. Amy’s like seven months pregnant. No way is he leaving her.”

I sigh. “No, no no. This is wrong. I should tell you…I’ve been seeing someone, Carter.”

“You have a boyfriend?”

I swallow. “Not officially. We haven’t had ‘the talk.’”

“Okay,” he says, clenching his jaw. “That’s fine. I’ve come to terms with things. I’m fine if we’re not together.”

“You are?”

He takes a step toward me, and his eyes look softer than normal. Vulnerable, even.

I feel the pitter patter of my pulse everywhere in my body.

Standing inches from me, he reaches a hand out toward my hair, but stops short of touching me, balling it up in a fist and dropping it against his leg.

“Doesn’t mean I won’t stop trying to get you,” he smirks.

I roll my eyes. “I knew it.”

“So you’ll come, then?”

“Costa Rica is a ways away. I have dance, I have a schedule, the ticket is probably…”

“If you have dance, well, I understand that. But as far as money goes, I’ll take care of your ticket and your board. I thought that was assumed, but I’ll say it out loud.”

“You don’t have to do that,” I clear my throat. “If I go, I mean.”

Carter takes a deep breath, exhales, and sits his hand on my hip, then pulls me into him.

I love the feel of his hard, warm body through his jeans and T-shirt.

“Carter,” I whisper as he stares me down. “What are you doing?”

“I don’t know.” He turns his head away, then lets me go. “Sorry. Just friends, I forgot.”

He averts his gaze, and I swear I might even be seeing a flicker of guilt come across him.

Just then, Lance knocks on the door and pops it open. “It’s been five minutes, kids.”

“Thank you,” Carter says, then turns back to me. “Lacy, I would love it if you come with me to process this crazy shit that’s bound to happen…if I meet my father, that is. If you don’t want to come though, I understand. Especially since you have a non-boyfriend.”

I scoff. “See, right there, you were a dick. You were being so sweet up until that last sentence. Why do you have to do that?”

He shrugs, a smile tugging at his lips. “It’s part of my strategy to get you back. I’m pointing out the things wrong with the current men in your life.”

“Pointing out that my current boyfriend hasn’t committed fully yet? That’s a little hypocritical, don’t you think?”

He pauses before he heads out the door. “I committed to you like no one’s business. In high school.”

“Oh, high school. Because Blackwell had so many dating options.”

He shakes his head, then turns back to me in the room, closing the door.

Grabbing my hips, he pushes me up against the wall.

My whole body melts into him.

“I thought you want to be friends,” I say in a loud whisper. “You’re really sending me mixed signals.”

“Maybe I want both,” Carter says, staring at my lips. “Let me know by tomorrow if you’re coming to Costa Rica. If nothing else, you’ll get to drink some awesome smoothies and go surfing on the coast.”

“It’s by the ocean?”

Carter nods. “Jeff Doonsbury--AKA my sperm donor--has a mansion on the coast. Right next to Jake Napleton’s winter home, apparently.”

I scrunch my face up a little. “I’ll think about it.”

I can’t believe I’m actually considering going with him.

Opening up the door. Carter moves to leave.

Lowering his head, he takes a breath, and his smile turns boyish. For a fleeting moment, I see a flash of the boy I used to know.

“Come on, Laces. You know it’d be fun. You and I never did get to take a trip together.”

“I said, I’ll think about it.”

“It would really mean a lot to me.”

Carter heads out to the main room, and I follow after him.

Joseph and Lance are making out on the couch.

Carter shrugs with a smile. “Well. If we didn’t, at least one couple kissed and made up.”

“I’m moving to New York!” Joseph proclaims.

I smile softly, making eye contact with Carter. His eyes are intense yet with a vulnerability I’ve yet to see in them.

“Thing about it, Lacy. Whatever happens, this would be good for us to get some closure.”

“Is that really what you want?”

“No. I want you. But if you’re moving on, I get it.”

I stare back at him, silently.

“Just think about it. And let me know.” Turning, he walks out. I close the door as Carter leaves.

Carter isn’t the type of man who gives up on what he wants easily.

And I can’t believe I’m actually considering his offer.