* * *

“Oh for fuck sake.” I was finally at the end of my rope with the women around here and their shit. Mouth was in the middle of a tug of war, me on one side ma on the other. Apparently we weren’t allowed to see each other the night before the wedding.

“I feel really bad for you and whatever asshole came up with that one, but she’s not sleeping away from me.” Ma had given up scolding me for cussing about five minutes after she dropped her little bombshell. She was trying to take my woman out of my house for the night and thought all she had to do was tell me as they were sneaking out the door.

“I told you he wouldn’t go for it Pia. You need to calm down mob boy. It’s just across the yard.” I leaned over into her face and finally tugged her away from ma. “You’re not sleeping any fucking where but here.” Why do I always have to repeat myself? In the last week or so leading up to the wedding that was turning into more of a production than the second coming, these people have tried in one way or another to make my ass nuts.

The shit that followed behind the hits on the congressman and the agent had left the city in an uproar. Thank fuck no one even considered us for it. And with poppy and the Rossis with this one’s help, eliminating most of the old guard, shit was hot. While everyone else was scrambling to find their ass and trying to figure out what the hell was going on, I was making strides to bring our businesses together and work out the ins and outs of how we were gonna run the two from here.

Mouth hadn’t freaked the fuck out after the hit on Tommy the knife but she had changed. There was a new lightness about her and she mentioned her mother or the baby at least once a day now. Since she didn’t have anyone else on her hit list for now, she’s decided to fuck with me every chance she gets.

I had her birdbaths delivered and that occupied her ass for a while before she got bored again. She rode my ass about everything under the sun and was generally a pain in the ass. I gave into her every need because I liked seeing that look of joy on her face. In some ways it was as if she was trying to recapture her childhood.

I had to threaten to shoot Mikey and Tony a time or two when they laughed at my ass for some teenage shit she got me involved in. She dragged my ass to every sissy shit she could think of; fucking zoos and shit in the middle of the day. Walking on the waterfront in the evening eating ice cream cones and holding hands like normal people. I think that shit scared me more than her killing shit. I walked on fucking eggshells waiting for the other shoe to drop, while trying to calm her ass down. No dice.

I’m now in the habit of trying to fuck her to sleep because she’s into talking me to death about wedding shit. Then sometimes she gets a little withdrawn and those are the times I know she needs me to hold her. Just sit and hold her in silence until she’s ready to unload whatever’s pressing on her mind.

Her latest worry is about Junior and what kind of mother she’s going to be. That one messes with her head and keeps her up most nights. I always reassure her that she’s going to be an awesome mother and when words don’t work I usually fuck the shit out of her until she gets her head back on straight.

Ma finally got the hint and left, muttering some shit under her breath. I heard her tell someone ‘you talk to him’ just before dad walked in. He just lifted his brow at me with that twinkle in his eye that told me he was laughing at my ass. “Don’t mind me, I just came to see what all the yelling and screaming was about.”

I took the overnight bag from Mouth’s shoulder and dropped it. “Your wife has lost her mind that’s what.” I filled him in just as the others came in with their noise shit. No one had had a free minute in the last week, there was too much to do. Mouth dealt with the wedding shit while I focused on marrying our businesses.

“It’s just an old tradition Shane, nothing to worry about. Your mom and I did it; your sisters did it.” I ignored him and turned to the others who were having some kind of argument about sports. Their hands were filled with gifts to a man. Since the announcement of our upcoming wedding had been made public, we’ve been bombarded.

After ma didn’t get her way for once in her life, she decided to move her mess to my house. I left her alone with them until it was time to sleep and then went and got her. Ma pitched a fit and made the case that they were in the house and Mouth was safe. I ignored her and took my woman to bed.

* * *

“You got them?” I asked Rossi with a weird lump in my throat. It had taken us a while to hunt down the florist he’d used since he hadn’t used the man in years. He’d tried convincing me that the flower could be found domestically with a slight difference, but I wanted her to get them from the same place her mom’s came from.

“Yeah, just in time too.” He showed me the bouquet in the fancy box it had been placed in. The scent permeated the room and I could see why she loved it so much. I fixed the tie around my neck for the fifth or sixth time; shit felt like a noose. “Thanks. I’ll be back.” Mouth had left our bed hours ago when ma knocked on my bedroom door with her shit. The look on her face said she wasn’t in the mood for my shit so I hopped into the shower and left her to it.

She dragged Mouth off to the other side of the house where she was getting dressed. That’s where I’m headed now. I’ll rather be out on a hit. I heard them as soon as my feet hit the landing on the second floor. I didn’t hear her voice among the laughter and deduced that she was as nervous as I was. It’s a wonder she hasn’t shot anyone yet. Mouth don’t do nervous well.

I took my life in my hands and knocked on the door. Ma of course answered the door and went into warrior mode when she saw it was me. I held the flowers behind my back out of view of her nosy ass. “Where’s Mouth?”

“Shane, you can’t be here, shoo.”

“Ma, those women in there decent?” I moved to go by her in the door and she tried to slam that shit in my face.

“Ma stop fuck… ah ma, get Mouth.” Hell if I’m begging her in my own house. “Mouth.” I yelled over her head. When she realized I wasn’t going away she turned back into the room and called my girl. “You have five minutes.” She gave me the stink eye and closed the door in my face.

A vision opened the door and stepped out. It took me a minute to realize that ma wasn’t playing a joke. “Mouth, is that you?” I reached out a hand to touch her hair and dropped it for fear that I would mess it up. She started to say something smart when she stopped and sniffed the air. I saw the tears start to gather in her eyes and brought the special bouquet from behind my back.

“Shane.” Her eyed widened in wonder and clouded with tears.

“I found it baby, I found your mother’s scent” I didn’t even feel like a bitch for saying that shit. She rested her head on my chest and cried. I hate her tears. Nothing puts a hole in my gut like that shit. I had to think fast because sure as fuck ma would have my balls if I sent her back into that room crying.

“Lift up that dress let me see what you got under there.” She smacked my chest and glowered at me. “I’m serious Mouth.” I moved as if to lift the skirt of her dress and she snorted and backed away. “I’ll call Pia.”

“She’d thank me once she realizes I’m trying to disarm you. I wouldn’t want you to shoot the fucking priest for getting the shit wrong. That’ll just fuck the whole party up.” She was outright laughing now and I wiped her nose and kissed her forehead. “I’m okay now, you can stop being an ass.” She put her game face back on and looked me over. “Not bad.”

Not bad my ass, I was wearing the hell outta this tux. But I guess that’s the best I’ma get outta this one. “Mouth, seriously, you got anything under that dress?” The shit was big enough to hide three men and a coupla her trusty weapons of choice. She rolled her eyes and got on her toes to kiss me just as the door opened and dragon lady stood there in full bitch mode. I held up my hands and backed away to the stairs with a grin.

I was halfway down the stairs when I felt ma run up behind me. “Oh Shane, I knew I raised you right.” After all the good shit I’ve done in my life a bunch of flowers did it for her. “Don’t you start crying now too. I don’t want your husband on my ass.” I knew that would dry up her tears quicker than a mirage in the Sahara. I got another smack, this time on my shoulder, before she turned and walked back up the stairs chastising my grown ass like she thinks I’m five.

I wasn’t nervous until I was standing at the altar. I have no idea why I had a boulder in the pit of my gut. It’s not like I had doubts or was afraid I wouldn’t know how to take care of her. But nonetheless I felt just a hint of something. It wasn’t until after it was over that I realized my angst was due to me wanting everything to go off perfectly.

You see, Mouth has been binge watching every mob movie ever made; from silent films to the latest Hollywood bullshit, and guess who she has camped out on the couch next to her ass for most of it. Of course in these shows some shit always goes down at a wedding or any kind of family gathering and it seems I got that shit stuck in my head.

Once the old man said ‘you may kiss your bride’ that band eased around my chest and I was back to being my sane self. Mouth on the other hand looked shell shocked but she played that shit off until we got into the back of the limo and she got the shakes.

I pulled her onto my lap and looked at her without speaking for a good few seconds, gauging her level of fuckery. If she was too far-gone, no amount of words would calm her down and I’d have to do her right here in the back of the damn car, unless I wanted bodies at the reception. She didn’t seem too far into her head so I set about reassuring her.

“It’s going to be okay Arianna; we’ll make sure of it.” I rested my hand over her tummy and that seemed to calm her down a little as she turned wide staring eyes on me. “I don’t remember a word of what I said. Did I make a fool of myself?”

“No, but I did get a little worried at the look you shot the priest when he said the word ‘obey’. Other than that it was all good.”

As I’d hoped, my little dig sidetracked her and she launched into my ass about archaic wedding vows, like I wrote the fuck. I kept her preoccupied with bullshit, teasing the shit out of her until we reached the venue where the reception was being held.

I didn’t move until our teams came to the doors. Not that I really expected anything to happen, but still. Things had been quiet for a while but I didn’t kid myself that they will stay that way. Not with the mouth in attendance.

I watched her face for her reaction as we entered the room filled with people and the music started to play. Her eyes first widened, then her lips twitched as the strains of Andy Williams’, Speak Softly Love floated through the hushed air. She turned into my chest and hid her face and I thought I’d fucked up until I heard her laughter.

She laughed through the whole song as I danced her around the floor held firmly against me. Ma started the cheering section when I lowered my head to kiss her at the end of the song. This nut looked up at me with bright happy eyes and said, ‘where’s Al’s version?” Fucking Italian nut.