Lacy

 

“Who was that?” I ask, handing Tracy a glass of wine.

“It was Shelly. She’s in the process of changing the schedule around, and with the way the days were lining up, she wanted to know if I wanted tomorrow off. But let’s not let my boring life take away from your call with Clayton. Spill!”

I toss back half my glass of wine and contemplate how much I’m willing to tell. “I have to say, our conversation was amazing. It was a little awkward at first, but didn’t take long before we felt comfortable.  He has a sense of humor, and his voice is fucking sexy.” I scoot up on the couch and tuck my feet under me as I add, “But you know what? It was nothing compared to the kiss we shared this morning.”

Her hand goes to her heart as her eyes widen. “This morning? Wait…did he come over and stay?”

“What? God no, I’m not that easy. But if I were…it would have been way more than just a kiss. I can’t even fathom being with a man as hot as Clayton.” I melt back into the cushions. “He had given me three choices when I saw him at the bar: coffee, drinks, or...anything else. And when I called him, he’d asked if I’d decided. I told him I didn’t think it was a good idea, but there was no way I wasn’t seeing him. I had to know if the connection from so long ago was still there. Long story short, we met for coffee.”

She releases a dramatic sigh, then turns toward me. “Was he the perfect gentleman, or did he give off the bad boy vibe? Details, woman! Details! You know I’m living vicariously through you.”

Details roll off my tongue, but I leave some of the intimate stuff for only me. Like the way my body shifted when he pressed himself against me, showing me just how hard he was, and how his confident tongue danced with mine as he explored my mouth.

“Lacy?”

“Huh?”

“Um…do I need to leave the room? Maybe give you time to dwell on whatever thoughts put that ‘on the verge of orgasm’ look on your face.” She closes her eyes and opening her mouth in the form of an O, trying to mirror what my face must have looked like.

“I did not look like that!” I smack her on the arm, my tone light and my smile big. “Enough about me. What about you? Why are you living vicariously through me and don’t have your own hunky man?”

She shrugs. “Just haven’t found the right one I guess. Maybe Clayton has a brother?” Her laugh is half serious.

“I think he might, but I believe he’s much older and married.”

“Hmmm…I have nothing against an older man, and I’ve always wondered what it would be like to be the ‘other woman,’” she says, her mischievous grin visible over the rim of the glass.

My snort echoes in my glass. “You are such a tramp.”

“What? If this mystery man of yours is as hot as you say he is, I’d sure as hell take a shot at his brother. Although…I suppose there’s always the chance Clayton got all the good looks and there wasn’t enough left for his brother. You’ll let me know what he looks like as soon as you find out, right?”

The lightness in her tone tells me she’s not serious, yet the questioning expression on her face has me doubled over in laughter. “Yeah, sure, I’ll let you know.”

Tracy’s love life has not been rainbows and fairy tales. She’s always been drawn to the bad boy, and that has landed her in a number of abusive relationships, but her last boyfriend was different. He was quite the gentleman. He would open doors for her, send her flowers, and take her places without asking for anything in return. She fell hard for him. Unfortunately, about a year into their relationship, Tracy had shown up at my apartment door, tears running down her face, mumbling that he’d met someone else and moved out. It took her a long time before she got back in the dating game, but that was a couple years ago, and now that she’s back in, she’s all in. 

“Well, if this thing with Clayton pans out, I will make sure you’re the first to know if his brother becomes available.”

She raises her glass. “I’ll toast to that.”

I pick up the small stereo remote and turn on some music. We sit back, sipping our wine while listening to the pop music filter through the speakers.

Without the distraction of conversation, my thoughts drift back to Dr. Ackerman. His secretary had called me, on my way home, to arrange an appointment for tomorrow evening and my nerves have been on edge ever since. I need to get access to our mother’s chart. If an appointment is the only way to do that then—so be it.

I turn toward my sister. She has her head lying on the back of the couch and her eyes are closed. As I search her face, I tell myself she’s not keeping anything from me, but since she’s a nurse, she must’ve seen mom’s file, which means she knows more than I do. But I know if I come right out and ask her about the file, I’ll get a lecture on how I need to let go. Since Tracy knows both Dr. Ackerman and Mack, I decide that’s where I’ll start.

With my voice low, trying not to scare her, I ask, “What do you know about Dr. Ackerman and Mack? They seemed to be having a heated conversation earlier today.”

She shakes her head, still leaning against the back of the couch as her shoulders rise then fall. “I don’t know a whole lot about Mack. He’s worked at Magnolia Woods for some time, but frankly, he creeps me out, so I tend to keep my distance. Dr. Ackerman…well, he seems all right. When I sat down with him the few times after Mom died, he was very professional and easy to talk to.”

“How about the talks you had with Dr. Ackerman? Are there any questions his colleague might ask I should be aware of?”

“What’s with all the questions? Is there something going on?” Her eyes open and she looks over at me.

I lean against the arm of the couch, then pull my knees up to my chest. “No. Nothing’s going on. I’m just nervous about talking to someone about Mom.”

“It’ll be hard, and you’ll probably have to face some tough stuff, but you just have to confront it. Talk to them. Let it out and let them help you. It’s going to be better for you in the long run, and I know you can do it, Lacy.”

“I’m so not ready for this,” I admit, taking in a deep breath.

“You are. It will be okay. You’ll see. They won’t push you farther than you can handle.” She places her wine on the table and checks her watch. “It’s still early. Want to go do something? Maybe see a movie or go to the bar?”

“Think I’m going to take a rain check and just hang out here.”

She nods and gives me a pat on the leg. “I’m going to head out then.” We both stand, and she opens her arms, inviting me in. “I love you, Lacy. I know you’ll be fine, but I’m always here for you if you need me.”

I pull back enough to meet her eyes. “Love you too, and I know you are. Thanks for being there for me.”

When I lock the door behind her, I lean against it, then slide to the floor and cross my arms over my knees. After several moments of just sitting, letting the silence wash over me, I pull myself up and start the water in the tub.