CHAPTER 34
Nick stared at the olive on a toothpick in his martini and then slid it off with his teeth. He savored the salty tang and then said in a cold clip, “Turns out I didn’t need to worry about Jane’s feelings quite as much as I thought I did. I thought we had something beyond ordinary; she did not. I guess Rothgar made the right call, because I would have been upping the risk for a relationship that doesn’t have legs.”
Flynn pursed his lips. “Missy said you were going emo. She’s right. You’re going emo.”
“Well, this is not okay. I don’t feel like myself. I feel off if I don’t talk to her before turning in, but she didn’t seem to bat an eyelash before giving me walking papers,” Nick said. “I dunno, Flynn. I don’t trust my instincts anymore. I really thought . . . I don’t know what I thought. I just know she’s not like any other woman I’ve ever met. She’s . . .”
He jabbed the toothpick into his cocktail napkin until the end splintered, and then he tossed it aside. “She’s not like anybody else. There’s chemistry between us. Everything’s so easy. We’re on the same page. How can she think it’s not worth it? I feel like I’ve been waiting my whole life for Jane MacGregor, and she thinks I’m just some good-time rich guy.”
Flynn grinned. “You realize this is just deserts for all the poor girls you looked straight through out on the town, right?”
Nick glared at the clock across the bar. “This doesn’t happen to me. Hell, none of this happens to me. I’m the financier, not the hit man.”
“The lines blur sometimes,” Flynn said, shrugging. “I’m the explosives expert, not the babysitter.”
Nick punched him in the arm. Hard. “Did Missy tell you to baby me?”
“She told me you called Jane to give your big fake ‘we’re done’ speech, but before you could really dump her, she dumped you worse. For real.” He said kindlier, “That’s gotta smart some.”
Nick thought about pretending it didn’t smart at all, but then he didn’t feel like faking anything anymore. And anyway, Flynn didn’t have Chase’s aversion to deep feelings.
“Uh-oh,” Flynn said quietly. “You really think Jane is . . . special.”
Nick shot a death look in Flynn’s direction. “Don’t fuck with me right now.”
“You know what I’m saying. If she’s ‘the one,’ you can’t fight that shit,” Flynn said. “Look what happened to Shane.”
“I’m not the one fighting it,” Nick said.
“Well, she doesn’t know that.”
“Unless she’s denser than a fence post, which I feel I’ve established isn’t the case, I don’t think she could have missed the chemistry between us. It’s not something you just wave away, like it’s nothing. It’s not like anything. If you’d been there that night . . .” He trailed off, and both men laughed.
“Yeah, forget what I just said,” Nick said, finally loosening up a little. “I figured she’d be floored, but she took it in stride. Like there was nothing special between us.”
“Well, from what I’ve learned about Jane so far, that sounds like her,” Flynn said. “You’ve described her to me yourself—takes whatever comes her way in stride and all that. Doesn’t mean she’s not feeling something underneath it all. Really, you’re basically bitching that you called to dump her, and she didn’t get upset, and you’re upset about it.”
Nick looked at Flynn—could almost feel sparks flying out of his eyes as he tried to explain. “I need her. I feel like . . . there’s this place inside my chest that’s so empty, and I don’t feel that when I’m with her.”
“Um.” Flynn gave him an apologetic look. “I think you’re saying this to the wrong person. Not that I don’t want to help. But you’re a poet at heart . . . after the shit goes down, go ‘poet’ her or whatever you gotta do. It’ll be fine. You’ll fix it. You’ll show her what’s different about the two of you, why it’s special. There’s the kiss. And there’s the words. Not that many people know about that soul of yours, Nick. You put those two together, man, you’ve got your girl.”
“For a guy who doesn’t date, you give some pretty believable advice.”
“Well, I used to date,” Flynn said grimly.
Nick inwardly winced, sorry that he’d accidentally reminded Flynn about his fucked-up face.
Flynn made his escape, passing Chase on the way, to whom he whispered not softly at all, “He’s definitely going emo.”
“I am not going emo,” Nick said as Chase took a seat.
Chase threw up his hands. “I know nothing about that shit. I’m just here for the booze.”
Nick considered his options. “Listen, Chase. I know I should drop this, but can you do me a favor?”
Chase looked at him suspiciously. “The correct answer is yes. Unless this is an emo favor.”
“It’s an emo favor.”
“Aw, maaaaaan.”
It was lucky Rochester needed his daily walk, because if he hadn’t needed to pee, Jane would not have had one single goddamn reason to lug herself out of bed once she’d moved out of Nick’s place and onto Ally’s couch.
She’d stopped by Nana’s again, in part to see how she was and in part to show that she was already over yesterday’s Nick Dawes–induced meltdown. Which was totally untrue, but Nana had looked so sad that Jane would have done anything to wipe that expression off her grandma’s face.
So, it was out on Amsterdam Avenue, halfway to Jacques Torres (where Jane planned to stand outside and smell the chocolate), when a call came in with no ID. What if it was Nick? What if it wasn’t? Jane waited a beat, a little confused, and then took the call.
“I feel really fucking stupid,” said a disgruntled male voice.
“Who is this?” Jane asked.
“It’s Chase. We spoke once before. And we met at the Armory.”
“Hi. Oh, god, is Nick okay?” Rochester looked up at her.
“Yeah, oh, yeah, Nick’s okay,” Chase said in a voice that sounded like she’d asked a stupid question. “He asked me to make sure you’re okay . . . fuck, what is this? High school? I can’t believe I’m doing this.”
“I’m okay. And so’s Rochester.” Jane looked down and gave Rochester a pat. He wagged his tail and continued with his business of sniffing every tree on the walk. “He’s staying with me at Ally’s now. Everybody’s present and accounted for and unharmed,” Jane said.
“I seriously hope he’s not going to ask me to do this every goddamn day.”
“Me neither. You clearly need a cup of coffee,” Jane said, pretty offended.
“Why’d you have to do that? Break his heart like that?” Chase asked.
“What?”
“You heard me,” Chase said.
Jane’s heart did something weird. “Did he say that?”
“No.”
He dumped me! Jane wanted to scream. Except she didn’t want Chase to have any inkling of how much this all hurt. “Are we done with this call?” asked Jane.
“No. Besides the ‘okay’ part, he also asked me to say that he knows you’re in an awkward position. And that maybe you didn’t want to ask, but . . .” Chase was reciting this like the ultimate boring script. “He’s happy to send a check over and pay you now through the month.”
“What about his fish?” Jane snapped.
“How do you even get attached to fish?” Chase yelled.
“They matter to him,” she yelled back. “They’ll die. You have to get the water just right and clean the tank regularly and with some delicacy, thank you very much. And that’s not even going into what you have to do for the frog.”
“It sounds like you care more about a frog than you do Nick!”
“I kind of hate you, Chase. You’re my least favorite superhot Hudson Kings member. By far.”
“Fuck you too, lady. You broke Nick.” And that was it.