CHAPTER 33
Nick stared at his phone for a moment, steeling himself for making one of the worst calls of his life. He dialed Jane’s number and tried not to imagine the look on her face as she debated answering his call.
When she answered, he knew immediately what he was dealing with.
“How can I assist you today, sir?” she asked with a definite edge in her voice.
“Jane,” Nick said. And for a second the words wouldn’t come out. All he could think was, Jane, I am so in love with you. Please don’t let this phone call be the thing that sticks in your mind. Remember how it’s been between us from day one; read between the lines and do what I need you to do to get through this.
“I think it’s best that you stay with Ally and Cecily from here on out” was what he actually said.
“You’re asking me to pack up and leave your apartment?” she asked coolly.
“Yes,” Nick said.
There was a long silence on the other end before Jane spoke. “I’m going to be blunt and say that it was complete bullshit that you left me there in that mess. That was so cowardly. I can’t even believe you did it, but it just makes me realize that I didn’t know you as well as I thought I did.”
Nick inhaled but didn’t answer. Jane took a deep breath and then managed a laugh that only had a slight bitter edge. “Hey,” she finally said. “Well, now that’s out of the way, it’s all good. I mean, we’d just done this crazy thing being spies and stuff, and we’d had a little too much to drink, and we lost our heads.”
Listening to her too-cool voice and her brush-off, Nick started putting his armor back on, piece by piece. Because it had all fallen to the ground at her feet. He waited for the knockout punch, and it finally came.
“You know me as a straight shooter, right?” Jane asked.
“It’s one of the things I really like about you,” he said.
“Well, I know what it is to feel lonely, Nick. You called me your star that night, right? I think that’s what you said. I know what it is to look for a star shooting across the sky. But you look in the sky long enough, and it turns out it’s not a shooting star. It’s not a glorious, once-in-a-lifetime comet. It’s just a fucking airplane.”
Nick’s heart beat a mile a minute. No, it’s not. I don’t believe that. But he stayed silent.
“And you’re my superrich, superhot boss, who’s in trouble with dangerous people, and you’re reaching out for the brightest star you can find because it’s something to hold on to that looks like the opposite of the shit you’re dealing with. But I’m just a plain old airplane, Nick, and, really, when you take away all the money and the missions, so are you. You probably can’t see that, though. And there’s nothing wrong with a plain old airplane, but it is what it is.”
Nick forced himself to keep his mouth shut and listen. He could feel the pain behind her words, but he did nothing to ease it.
“Last night was amazing and fabulous and like a dream and”—she paused like she was trying to decide on the right word—“having sex with you is going to be a great memory, actually, because it was really . . .” Her breath hitched here. “Special. It was great, right? I mean, I think objectively speaking, we can both agree that it was some really excellent sex. If, perhaps, a little difficult to clean up the next morning. But I digress. Because we both know that you’re going to solve your problem. And when you do solve your problem, you’re going to look around for your star and you’re gonna see I’m just . . . Jane. I’m just Jane, Nick. I’m just a normal, size-twelve woman. Nothing special. And I’m fine just being Jane. But I keep picking guys who aren’t fine with me being Jane. They always want a brighter star. The morning came, the lights went on, you saw everything for what it really was. And you ran. So, I get what this is.”
No, you don’t, Nick wanted to yell. I didn’t run. I didn’t want to leave you.
“See, I’ve been somewhere like this before, more than once, in a couple of different ways, and it almost did me in. I’m not going to be that weak. It’s time to find my own way and stand on my own two feet and build something out of nothing with my own hands and a heart on the mend. When it comes down to it, you’re just my rich boss,” she said dismissively. “I mean, you’re a great guy when you aren’t running in the wrong direction. A really great guy. But you’re my boss. Or at least you were. So, you don’t need to ask me to stay away and silently pray that I don’t stalk you like some lovelorn idiot. Because I want to stay away. I don’t want what you have to offer, Mr. Dawes, sir.”
And this time, it was Jane who hung up on him.
Jane shoved the phone back in her pocket and stood there, frozen to the street corner where she’d taken Nick’s call, until Rochester strained so hard against the leash he basically moved her against her will.
The wind whipped her hair around as she trudged forward into the gale and finally made it to Nana’s.
“I brought you book two in the series. It’s called The Lowdown in the Highlands” was as far as Jane got before bursting into hysterical tears.
“Oh, my darling Jane,” Nana said, enfolding her in her arms.