Chapter Fifteen

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“You’ve got to be joking me.” The words that had just come out of her mouth floored me, especially after the day we had spent at the beach. When I thought she’d finally accepted us. I’d never imagined she was still thinking about that damned list.

Only, she was.

She’d shown up on my doorstep, dressed for a night out just hours after we’d made love to the sound of crashing waves and she’d agreed to call what we had a relationship.

Her face was pale but determined. “I need to do this. It’s the last thing on my list.”

“It’s fucking two dudes!”

She flinched but held her ground. “Why are you so horrified? You didn’t have any problem with bringing Mary home.”

“I just want a relationship with only you and me.” That seemed reasonable. Not that I wanted to be reasonable at that exact second. She’d just announced she wanted sex with other men and suggested I was homophobic all in the same breath. I was stunned by fury.

I didn’t want to share her. The thing with Mary had proved beyond a shadow of a doubt that I wasn’t into that, that what I wanted, who I wanted, was Georgina and only Georgina.

“I’m going to do it. I have to. I can’t leave things like this.” Her eyes showed white all around the irises, and her lips shivered.

I knew girls who would do all the things on her list, and some who already had. Some of the girls who hung around backstage at concerts. They were the ones who always wanted people to know who they fucked, and exactly how they’d fucked them. They counted their conquests not in numbers but by deed. I didn’t think that was the real Georgina—not really. I hoped the fear in her eyes proved me right.

It was clear she was scared, shaken to her bones. Lavender-colored circles ringed her dark eyes. Her new short hair made her neck look long and somehow frail. I could hear the tremble of her breath rush over her lips, and wanted to kiss her gorgeous mouth until she forgot about that last thing on her bucket list. That fucking list. I thought it was over, that we could bury it by checking off an older, more innocent list. I thought we could move on.

“Why, why now? After today?”

She just shook her head. “Come with me, then we just need to pick up one guy. We can do it together, like before.” Every word was rushed, rambling.

I ran a hand over my face, unable to even comprehend. “No. Fuck no. How can you even ask me this? I won’t. Georgie, please …”

“Then I’ll do it without you.”

She turned and left without another word. She dashed to her car and sped off into the night.

My fist hit the wall beside the door, going straight through the plasterboard. Fuck. Fuck her and her list. I was sick of playing a body part in her little soap opera. It was clear she would never think of me as anything more, and I wasn’t going to break my heart again over some girl who didn’t give a shit about me or even about herself.