I was working like crazy, trying to avoid thinking about the fucking situation in which I found myself. It was easier for me to ignore all that shit than to face it like Jeffrey and Erica urged me to. However, it was impossible to forget when you had a cousin and a brother working at the same place, eager to discuss the subject at the drop of a hat.
Now it was Erica’s turn. We just closed a deal with a French executive in a very long and tiring meeting. She came into my office and knowing my secretary wouldn’t announce her, as she used to.
Erica worked in the financial area, the highest position I could offer her, in an office one floor below mine. I had done this because Jeffrey requested it. Without that, she would never have landed such a position because she lacked corporate experience and her longest employment was a position as a clothing store clerk.
Erica approached my desk slowly, moving her sinuously inside a long, tight dress. Once again, I could not help but notice that she had become a beautiful woman. She was tall, thin, with long silky blond hair and blue eyes that had driven me insane when we lived together in my aunt’s (and her mother’s) apartment. There had been years making out and having sex, but she had demanded exclusivity and it was difficult to be faithful when I reached adulthood and there was such a variety of beautiful women, crazy to take off their panties for me. What happened between Erica and me was relegated to adolescence.
“How are you feeling today?” She asked while sitting on the chair in front of me. She stared at me with pity and concern and I hated that. It made me feel extremely weak.
“I’m great. Why shouldn’t I be?”
The compassion in her expression intensified and she reproved me with her look. I felt like sending her away from my office. “Can’t I spend one day not thinking about that?”
“Jared, please. You know what you have to do.” She looked deeply into my eyes, the way she used to do. She looked like a needy woman who hungered for sex. While that might be sexy on any other girl, it seemed ridiculous for her. We knew there was nothing left between us, not even chemistry. “I don’t want to lose you. None of us can live without you.”
Her tone made it seem like she was begging, and that made me angrier.
“I don’t want to talk about it now. I have a lot to do here.”
“When will you want to talk about it? When it’s too late?”
“This is not your business. It’s my life and my choice.”
She moved in the chair, bewildered. Her blue eyes expressed a little frustration.
“Don’t be selfish, Jared! It’s not only your life, there are people who love you and worry about you. How come don’t you think about us? Don’t we mean anything to you?”
I already knew that speech. Jeffrey and Erica had tormented me about that for over a month now, since we found everything out. I always agreed with them, but never kept my word. Truth was, I didn’t think there was hope and I just let things progress naturally.
“Of course, you do.” I was never good with sentimental words. Of course, I loved Jeffrey. After all, he was my closest family. I liked Erica too, but I didn’t know how to express it. I devoted too much time to business and shelved that part of me. “You two are all I have left.”
I couldn’t take her look anymore. I stood up and stopped in front of the glass wall, staring at the skyscrapers partially covered by the fog in the center of Seattle. I couldn’t really see them and it tormented me.
“And you are all we have, the most important person to us.” Erica got up and stopped beside me, so close I could smell her expensive perfume. “You were the one who transformed our lives, who took us out of Brooklyn and gave us the opportunity to better ourselves. We owe you everything and we don’t want to lose you.”
I was furious with her for refusing to let it go. I just wanted to forget, pretend it didn’t exist.
“I don’t want to talk about that anymore.” I said.
“Jared, please.” Erica put her hand on my shoulder and I faced her, trying to understand her intentions. She still had that desirous expression and it looked ridiculous on her.
It came as no surprise when she raised her hand to my face, caressing me while she moved closer. She was in front of me, with her slim body touching mine. “We love you, I love you… How can you belittle that?”
Her breath was irregular and her small mouth opened to draw some air. She was obviously turned on. She came closer, pressing against my body while standing on tiptoe to touch my mouth with hers. Her lips were trembling, seeking my kiss. I corresponded while grabbing her around the waist.
It wasn’t the first time we tried to do that after we met again in Seattle, all grown up. We made it to the end once, but it was a casual affair and not satisfying. After that, my body barely reacted when she tried to do it again. After all, we had no chemistry.
I could have acted as if she was any attractive female, thrown her on my desk, and fucked her until I was satisfied, but it would only be one more casual encounter that didn’t matter as it and with many girls that I no longer remembered their names. I didn’t want to treat Erica like that, that she was just used for casual sex by a man who didn’t feel anything for her. I wished she could meet someone who loved her, because she was my cousin and I truly cared about her.
I held her by the shoulders and stepped back, ending the kiss.
“I can’t, Erica,” I said and saw the shame in her eyes.
“Just tell me why.” She pled making me regret I had let it go this far.
“You deserve someone better than me.”
“You’re the one I want. I love you, Jared.”
“You don’t love me. You think you do because we grew up together and made out when we were kids, but we’ve changed.”
“Nothing changed for me. I still want you as much as when we were kids.”
“You deserve to find someone who truly loves you.” It was the way I found to tell her I didn’t feel the same without hurting her, but I didn’t work out. I could see her agony, and that happened every time she tried to get closer. I couldn’t understand why she kept trying.
She stepped away slowly, releasing her body from my hands and embracing herself as if she were cold. Jared just looked down.
“I see. You don’t want me not even for a casual affair. I’m pathetic for hitting on you.”
“You’re not pathetic, Erica. I refused because I really care about you and I don’t want to treat you like some whore off the street.”
She shuddered and held herself harder.
“You don’t need to be kind to me, Jared. If you weren’t, it would be better. It would make me hate you and stop thinking about you the way I do.”
“Erica…” I didn’t know what else to say.
“Ok, you don’t need to say anything.” she stared at me again and lowered her arms, but her shoulders remained tense. “Just think about what we discussed, ok? Don’t throw away your life like that.”
“I’ll think about it.” I lied.
She left the room, smoothing her dress.
I tried to focus on my work, but Erica had ruined my day. Her words kept hammering me like a scratched CD, repeating over and over, making it impossible to think straight. I really cared about my cousin and my brother especially in this moment of my life. However, it’d be easier if they didn’t talk about my condition all the time. As it was, I couldn’t forget it and be in peace.
The agony was so deep I didn’t stop thinking about that shit all day. I left the office earlier than usual, and I never used to do that. I went straight to a private club where I had a membership. I just wanted to drink and forget all about it.
When I got there, I met some colleagues who didn’t know what I was going through. They treated me normally and engaged me in light, enjoyable conversation. That made part of my sorrow fade. Sorrow that Erica caused me this afternoon.
The club was frequented only by VIPs who had a lot of money. As usual, there were many beautiful girls eager to hop in bed with any guy there who had the inclination. It didn’t take long until some of them came around us, plying their charms, anxious to be chosen.
That reminded me of the Moroccan girls at the country house, especially the one who refused to be with my brother. It was over a week since I had gone there with Jeffrey to meet them. Sometimes I found myself thinking about that girl and her hilarious effort to get rid of Jeffrey by making a scene.
It was impossible not to laugh when I thought about it, but it was also impossible not to think about her beautiful lips, her curves, and her big breasts. Everything about that girl was made for pleasure. However, she continually refused to give Jeffrey any pleasure, and he went there every day trying to take her to bed, but he failed every time. She pitched a different hissy every time he went there. When she didn’t faint on the way to the room, she had a toothache, was in a deep sleep or complained of a headache. At least, that’s what Jeffrey told me.
It was difficult to believe he didn’t realize she was avoiding him, and I didn’t know her reasons. Maybe he realized but didn’t care to have a woman who didn’t want him. I didn’t understand why she put so much effort in avoiding him, considering all other girls in the harem were used to going to bed with many different men, even though they didn’t want to. As far as I knew, they were trained since a young age to do that, so they should have had a lot of experience.
With all the chattering and excitement, which got more jovial when one of the guys invited some girls to join us. I drank until I forgot everything that bothered me, but I didn’t forget about that body, mouth and that innocent, but wild look of Inaya. Each time a girl flaunted herself at me, I thought about Inaya, until the desire of touching her and unveiling her secrets, and the curiosity of knowing if she would treat me like she did with Jeffrey, grew so engrossing that I suddenly realized I was driving, full speed, to our house in Newcastle. Normally, the trip would take about an hour, but I did it in forty minutes flat. I was so drunk that It was a wonder I made it because.
When I got there, I half parked the car in front of the door, greeted the bodyguards outside and went inside the house. I staggered upstairs and didn’t know in which room I’d find her. Jeffrey, who was having a lot of fun there, told me that the girls didn’t lock their doors when they slept, because they had to be available for our possible visit. It wouldn’t be hard to find out, I simply had to check all the rooms.
I started for the first room and saw a cascade of long, red hair over the pillow where the girl slept; it wasn’t her. I tried three other doors, finding all the girls in a deep sleep. When I reached a locked door, I had no doubt it was Inaya’s, and that made me want to smile without knowing why.
I discreetly knocked the door twice and I heard her questioning and frightened voice inside, but she was speaking Arabic and I didn’t understand a word she said.
“Open this door, I want you tonight.” I mumbled, still under the influence of the alcohol, but I knew she couldn’t understand me. The door stayed locked, the girl was going to treat me just like Jeffrey and I ran out of patience. “Open this fucking door, you’re mine! I have the right to have you. Don’t think you will treat me like you do my brother!”
I was so loud that I’m sure I was overheard by the bodyguards outside, and it made some doors open and three of the girls came out wearing tiny lingerie. They smiled at me, inviting me to their beds, but I didn’t want them. I wanted Inaya, no other could fulfill the desire I had for that girl.
“Will any of you get Samir to make this girl open the door?”
The girls looked at each other in complicity, and, instead of obeying me, they threw themselves at me and rubbed their half-naked bodies on mine, making my dick hard. One of them put her hand on my erection and grabbed it while another opened my zipper.
Before I realized it, one of them was kneeling on the floor and sucking me, while others ran my hands over their naked and curvy bodies. One of them guided my hand to her panties, made me touch her shaved pussy. The other pressed my hand to her firm, small breasts inside her bra. I couldn’t take it anymore and went to a room with the three of them.
I woke up with an unbearable headache. My whole body hurt, especially my dick, after several hours of sex. Holy shit! These women were hot and they did everything in bed. They really knew how to drive a man crazy. They made me cum several times and most of them came with me. Now I understood why selling harems was so profitable in the west.
Through the blurred glass of the window I could see it was already day. I was lying in bed between the three girls who slept with me, completely naked. One of them had a little of dry sperm on her and smelled like sex, just like the entire room. I woke up slowly so as not to wake them, put on my trousers and shirt and left with my suit jacket in my hands.
When I passed in front of Inaya’s room, I asked myself what I was thinking to drive drunk from Seattle because of her and try to force her to open the door and receive me. It had to be the excess of alcohol, there was no other explanation. If I were sober, I’d never try to walk into the bed of one of the girls my brother was clearly interested in. Even though I just wanted to have sex, Jeffrey wanted her so bad and told me day after day of his efforts to be accepted by her. I acted like a real ass trying to sneak into her room and betray my brother. I was glad she didn’t open it, I’d never have forgiven myself.
It was so cold outside that I hurried to the car I left unlocked. I climbed in the driver’s seat and put my hands on the steering wheel, already planning my day ahead. I needed to take a long bath and get something for this damn hangover. As usual, I’d avoid being alone with my brother and cousin so they wouldn’t talk about that boring subject, which had led me to drink the whole night and I’d immerse myself in work to bury all the rest and keep it hidden somewhere in the back of my mind.
After exactly one hour, I parked in the empty park of the building where I lived in and left. I walked just a few meters and saw a girl leaving by the back door. She wore a black tunic and a hijab. the simple head covering, of the same color. I could only see her face, but even from this distance, I recognized Inaya, who had hidden in the back seat without me realizing it. But why?