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The Gift by Louise Jensen (43)

77

I didn’t know what else to do,’ Amanda says, lowering her hands from her face.

Tom clutches his left shoulder. Even in the shadow of the moonlight I can see how deathly pale he’s become.

‘You were in hospital,’ Amanda says. ‘The doctor had said you might die. The bills were mounting up. The mortgage wasn’t being paid. What was I supposed to do? Our daughters were being threatened, Tom.’

‘You could have told the police.’

‘Like they would have offered 24-hour protection to Callie and Sophie? I had to do something to protect them. I’m their mother. Owen made it sound so easy. Sign a few forms and Callie and Sophie would be safe and we’d have enough to live on. How else could I have got the sort of money this Neil was demanding? It was thousands of pounds.’

‘You involved Sophie in something illegal.’

Amanda flinches from Tom’s words. I’ve never heard him sound so hard.

‘It was because of Sophie I had to do something illegal. I did it because I love her.’

‘But you knew our daughter was taking drugs and you didn’t tell me?’

‘I tried everything to get her to stop and as soon as you came out of hospital she wanted to. Do you remember how she took off for months and you thought she just needed a break after the stress of your illness? I’d paid for her to stay in a clinic.’

‘I can’t take this in.’ Tom dips and I’m worried he’ll collapse. He really doesn’t look good. ‘Did you know about this, Joe?’

‘Not at the time, I swear. When you were home and you told me that Amanda had persuaded you to retire for your health and you asked if I’d run the business, I found out what had gone on when I looked at the accounts. Your profits had shot up. I thought Amanda had made a mistake with the books but she told me about her arrangement with Owen. I was livid. I didn’t tell you because the doctor said you must avoid stress but I didn’t want anything to do with it. I didn’t have anything to do with it.’

‘But it stopped? This arrangement. When Sophie’s debt was paid: it stopped?’

‘No,’ said Joe. ‘It didn’t. I’m so sorry, Tom. I tried to get them to stop I really did but the best I could do was make sure you were kept out of it. You and Callie.’

‘All these months you’ve been apologising, Joe, and I thought it was because the business folded after Callie died as no one had the heart for it any more. I never thought… this.’ Tom screws his face up as though he is in pain.

‘I felt so bloody awful,’ Joe says. ‘I hoped you’d never find out. When Sophie disappeared after Callie died I thought she must be using again as a way of coping with her grief. When you called me tonight and said she might be here I thought she must be with Owen. I didn’t want you to have a run in with him if she was off her face. When I found her alone in the caravan my first thought was to get her away from here as quickly as possible. I thought Owen must be around somewhere. I never dreamed he was… that she…’

It is disconcerting to witness Joe’s anguish as he begins to cry again.

‘You know when you appeared earlier. There was a split second when I thought about shooting Amanda for what she’s done. Can you believe that?’ Joe wipes his nose with the back of his hand. ‘I tried to talk her out of carrying on so many times. I probably should have told you. I’m sorry. But I love you. You’re my brother and I didn’t want to risk your health.’

‘Neither did I, Tom.’ Amanda cuts in. ‘I looked after you when you were sick. I made sure you didn’t have to worry about the bills. You didn’t once ask me if we were managing. Not once.’ Amanda is shouting now: ‘And I carried on because without Owen all I could see was a future of struggling to meet the mortgage payments every month. Never anything left over for treats. Growing up it was holidays in the Maldives, eating at Michelin star restaurants. You. You brought us here.’ Her voice is bitter. ‘I gave up everything for you, but you couldn’t provide for us properly.’

‘I loved you.’

‘I love you, I do, but I just wanted the girls to experience what I had growing up. It was all for them. For us. For our family. It seemed easy. It was easy. Owen arranged everything and I just turned a blind eye. I didn’t actually do anything other than sign a few forms. It wasn’t masses of money, not enough to draw attention to us but enough to provide a good income. Owen was careful. You didn’t have anything to worry about.’

‘You could have ended up in jail. We could all have ended up in jail,’ Tom’s voice is steely cold. ‘Where would the girls have been then?’

‘Owen said there was no risk. He knew what he was doing, Dad,’ Sophie’s voice is faint. ‘I’d told him we might lose the house. He was looking after us all.’

‘And Callie? Did she know?’ Tom is still clutching his shoulder.

‘No. She knew Owen got me hooked on drugs but she didn’t know about Mum, about the business. Owen was about to tell her everything that night, that’s why I hit him. I panicked. If I hadn’t, Callie might still be alive.’

‘No!’ Amanda wrings her hands. ‘Don’t say that. It’s been almost impossible to live with myself as it is. No matter how much medication I take I feel terrible every second of every day, losing Callie and thinking we had lost you too, Sophie. I thought you couldn’t bear to be around memories of Callie and that’s why you had gone to Spain with Owen. I can’t believe you… you killed him. I’m so sorry for what you went through, but we can sort this out, can’t we? Between ourselves. We’re a family.’

‘We are not all family,’ Sophie says and she grabs the gun from Joe’s hand and points it at me. ‘I still don’t know who the fuck you are but now you know an awful lot about me.’

‘Sophie!’ Amanda tries to wrestle the gun from her.

There’s a struggle. A bang.

Tom drops to the sand, clutching his heart.

Amanda screams but as I look at Tom in the moonlight I can’t see an entry wound. I can’t see any blood. And then I realise. Tom must have had a heart attack. He isn’t the one who has been shot.